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Blockers (2018)
5/10
One Laugh-out-Loud Moment Can't Compensate the Rest of the Film
16 February 2019
It's not a terrible film. I've seen worse. It's mildly amusing throughout most of its run. The material is familiar: teenagers want or are about to have sex; Their parents act like idiots in reaction. It's not even clear what the parents want to achieve. You've see it before more than once.

This film has no aspirations as drama, thriller or any other genre except as a comedy. Therefore it will be measured solely on the strength of the laughs it generates. Laughs are the single job this film has. And at its single job, this film fails.

It's not a colossal failure. There is one great comedic moment that really works (it's the raunchy bodily-fluid kind of comedic moment). But the rest is so bland it barely generates a smile.

Good comedy is hard to create.
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5/10
Two things going for this movie
29 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
There are 2 great things going for this movie: Laura Harring's sexy, exquisite curvaceous body, magnificently revealed in the movie; and Rebekah Del Rio's beautiful enchanting performance of Llorando (Roy Orbison's "Crying").

Those are 2 perfect moments in a film that last nearly 2 and a half hours. And that, unfortunately, is not enough to compensate for the slow moving, confused (probably purposefully confusing) plot.

Granted, one should expect, going in to a David Lynch film, a surreal and confusing experience. This is the director's trademark style, and I have found myself reveling in it in the past.

But here, it seems purposefully constructed to confuse, and once the true meaning IS revealed, it does not hold as a cohesive story, especially when looking back at the entire length of the this overly long film.

For my taste, there are too many distracting characters and throwaway scenes designed just to confuse, and in the end, they do not amount to anything: the cowboy. the large hit-man in the director's home. etc. I can appreciate the symbolism and the surreal atmosphere they add to the movie. But in the end, the amount of time the movie spends on these scenes is disproportionate with the fact that they're only there for atmosphere.

Still, the 2 good things I mentioned are well-worth the watch for some people, myself included.
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Dexter (2006–2013)
8/10
Full-series assessment: starts great, but deteriorates midway.
25 September 2013
No point in describing what this show's about, as you've probably already read about it. This show starts out great, with seasons 1-2 providing satisfying thrills and twists, drama and dark humor. Season 3 is a step down, but season 4 picks-up again and provides the show's climax.

Unfortunately, it's all downhill from there. From season 5 on wards, the plot becomes increasingly ridiculous, repetitive and badly-written. Characters become stupid and uninteresting, dialogues are unconvincing. Major plot events appear to happen by coincidences, and other developments are too incredible to happen, even within the show's wild premise.

Seems the show takes a steep nosedive from season 5 and on.
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4/10
Gets an extra star for hotness
14 April 2011
Well, I didn't know what I was getting into when I killed some time with this flick.

Lucy Liu plays a clichéd vampire-turned-vampire huntress, spouting hokey lines, and unconvincingly struggling with vampiric feelings of guilt or anger or revenge - or whatever feelings those are that make the good vampires brood. It's a very weak script,with cardboard-cutout stereotypical characters, such as an alcoholic grieving cop that becomes an ally.

It's bad, but not painfully bad. And it gets an extra star from me for that incredibly hot and sexy scene with Liu and Cameron Richardson. That scene comes very early in the film, so you don't have to waste your time watching the entire thing.
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6/10
Misdirected Bond
12 November 2008
Hopefully, this latest Bond won't set the any trends for the future installments, which with Bond are sure to follow.

Quantum of Solace tries to be continue Casino Royal's darker and more serious Bond interpretation. But terrible directing and chaotic script will leave you hardly following the plot.

There are 2 major problems with this film: The first is the terrible directing and camera work in the action scenes. The chases and fights are all shot in extreme closeups, almost never taking a step back for a wide-angle shot which lets the viewers see what's going on. And to make things worse, the action scenes are hyper-edited, cutting frantically between shots from different angles. The result is disorienting, confusing, and headache inducing. It takes more than just stunts to create flowing, exciting action, and this movie demonstrates just how difficult it is to direct action sequences.

The second problem is the fast-paced, convoluted script - It's simply too hard to follow. The story jumps too fast from one dead body to the next, characters enter without introduction and are killed off soon after. Unanswered plot points are left dangling everywhere. It's quite a mess, more than once eliciting a "wha?!?" reaction from the audience. And to top this all, the ending is so completely disjointed from the rest of the film, it feels like the writers taped a scene from the next Bond movie to add some running time to this one.

All in all, it's a very flawed Bond.
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7/10
The NeverEnding Kung-Fu story
12 October 2008
The Forbidden Kingdom strikes me as a Kung-Fu version of the brilliant "The NeverEnding Story" I saw as a kid in the 80's. The parallels are obvious.

Like "NeverEnding Story", it's a fantasy movie that tells the tale of a boy's coming of age journey, from picked-on weakling to warrior and savior. On the way friendships are woven, difficulties are overcome, and lessons are learned. Both films cater to children audiences, but will satisfy grown-ups as well. Both bring to the table a good mixture of fantasy, action, comedy blended with a dash of romance and drama - Baked just right and garnished with magnificent special effects and stunning visuals.

The Kung-Fu battles are dazzling, and having both Jet Li and Jackie Chan sparring in this movie is just the sugar on top of the wholesome family fun.
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6/10
Over-hyped, exacerbated by undeserved cult status
3 October 2008
Don't get me wrong: this film is alright. But it is far from brilliant, and I have no idea how it picked up its hype and high-star ratings.

It's a nice comedy, but making the IMDb top 250?! please...

Shaun of the dead is similar to most zombie movies you've probably seen before, with the twist of being more of a comedy/spoof and less of fright/horror/gore movie. And while it does get some laughs out, it never reaches drop-dead funny. Cult classic? only if you consider any Zombie flick an automatic cult classic.

Zombie films are a popular genre. So popular, in fact, that the multitude of Zombie films out there could be cataloged into sub-genres. This one goes straight into the "makes-a-nice-DVD-rental-when-you've-got-nothing-better-to-do" zombie genre, which is probably the most well-stacked shelf at your local video rental store.
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Teeth (I) (2007)
7/10
Irony-laced horror comedy
27 September 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Just reading the plot synopsis, you would think this as low as the horror genre could go. But the plot synopsis is misleading. It's a nice little gem of a movie.

This film breathes some fresh air into the common horror-comedy-teen drama genre by ironically taking the male predators in this movie and making them victims of an innocent girl with a rare mutation. If guys are only thinking with their crotches at that age, then they sure get what they deserve in this film.

Disguised as a simple, well-executed horror-comedy, "Teeth" is laced with subtext criticizing American puritanism: Biology textbooks are defiled by the board of education, leaving our heroine clueless about her body; Abstinence movements turn out to be mere gatherings of sanctimonious hormone-overwhelmed teens.

So under the fun scenes you probably imagine from the plot, you've got a nice little message too.
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Sunshine (2007)
8/10
Stellar!
17 September 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Sunshine is a near-perfect sci-fi film. It follows the more serious, thought provoking sub-genre of sci-fi, and yet manages to remain gripping, suspenseful and exciting throughout the entire film.

The plot deals with the journey of Icarus II and its crew, on their journey to the sun, our star, which is dying. To save mankind from freezing, their mission is to reignite the sun by detonating a stellar bomb within the sun. Will they succeed? Will they survive to return? What sacrifices must they make on their way to complete their mission?

Danny Boyle expertly directed an intelligent space-drama, which focuses on moral dilemmas and human conflicts amongst the characters. Thanks to a well crafted script and superb performances by the cast, the film pulls off both the drama and the sci-fi. The film works hard and succeeds at making the science very believable, and yet not complicated or intimidating. The solid performances are very persuasive, and make the characters' conflicts, decisions and struggles seem very plausible and real. And to top all of this, the special effects are truly magnificent. The sun has never been seen this beautiful and mystifying.

So why not a perfect score? Because of the ending. Without spoiling anything more, let's just say that the one final element added near the end of the film spoiled this near-perfect film, and was not on-par with the realism of the film and with the intricacy of the rest of the script.

But don't let that put you off. It really is a wonderful film!
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Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
9/10
Ridiculous Fun!
14 October 2007
This movie is the perfect boys' night out flick. Very light on the plot side, this movie let's you put your thoughts on hold for a non-stop action roller-coaster ride. And what a fun ride it is! It's violent action, packed with one-liner jokes, stunning visuals, a bit of sex and plenty of carrots. Yes, you'd be surprised what you can do with carrots.

Granted, the plot is so thin and nonsensical - it may as well have been left out of the movie. But you won't miss the plot for a moment, because this movie never drops its pace. It starts with a bang, and constantly goes higher from there. The action is so imaginative, you'll be saying: "This - I've never seen before!" one scene after the other. You've never seen so many ways to kill with a carrot, and that's just one weapon used in this film.

Some might think you need to check your brain at the door to enjoy this movie, but even if you don't, you'll find a huge stupid grin of joy on your face from start to finish.
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6/10
Overrated
6 October 2007
I've read so much hype and positive comments on this film before watching, and regretfully, it did not live up to the expectations.

The film starts with an interesting, original basic story point: a future where the human race has become sterile. This opening point has so much potential, but unfortunately doesn't take off anywhere from there.

The plot itself is pretty monotonic: Our 2 heroes running off together from one place to another. It's not always clear who they're running from or where they are going. The chase itself is not so action-packed, and directed rather slowly. The other characters in the movie are thin cardboard cutouts - no background, no reasonable motives. There's not much of a punchline or point to the story once it ends either.

The movie does present a convincing, depressing but realistic future reality, down to little details. It does have a strong political saying, warning and moral. But these are the only strongpoints. In all other aspects, the film is not bad - but just mediocre. From a storytelling perspective, the movie presents a thin story, loosely tied scenes, and not enough character development. It lacks momentum and is just not entertaining enough.
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10/10
Action, Romance, Comedy all rolled into one
20 August 2001
I consider The Princess Bride my favorite movie of all times. I don't plan on telling anything about the plot; Let me just say it has the catchiest dialogue ever. You'll probably find yourself quoting lines like "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" well after the film is over. Smart, witty, funny, full of twists and surprises - a guaranteed enjoyment.
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