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Reviews
The Veil (2024)
Snooze fest with a bad accent
Well, maybe it's because I'm familiar with her normal American speaking voice, but I thought her British accent was dreadful, fake, and simply unbelievable. It was a downright distraction- or maybe the show is just too boring to follow. The premise ought to be interesting, but the execution was subpar. Lots of great camera work with dramatic shots, but just not engaging to me at all. Honestly, this is Elizabeth Moss' worst in my opinion. At this point she's just playing the same victim out for revenge over and over in every show. I think the Scientologists should rotate in someone new for their leads in their monopoly on Hollywood. I'm sure they gave a few more puppets up their sleeve.
Reign (2013)
Like pseudo-historical junk food
I watched it as a loyal Megan Follows fan. It has some appeal- most of which comes from the visual decadence, although everything and everyone is a tiny bit too clean to be believable. The makeup is pretty modern, almost like the ladies came to work from a shift at Starbucks to get into character. Everyone is a bit too classically "pretty", which is tiresome. Give me some good acting from someone who doesn't look like a catalog model for once.
My final bone to pick is with the music. I am not opposed to the use of modern music, but this was clumsy. It was inappropriately timed, didn't fit AT ALL in most instances. A bit of subtlety would have gone a long way, having modern artists mesh their tunes with older styles a bit- not straight up hipster rock stuck awkwardly into random places. So out of place, so amateurishly patched onto the show like a bunch of banjo ambushes.
The Ark (2023)
Nerds still wear glasses in the future
So right from the get go, the acting is painfully bad. A bunch of attractive young people with very 2020's haircuts filling various stereotypes in one dimensional ways. What got me was how apparently nerds in the future still wear glasses. I mean, they are cryogenically frozen, but they have lost the technology to surgically fix bad eyesight? Is there a lens crafters on board? Do they fog up in their space helmets?
Honestly I think there are just too many new shows being cranked out with too little effort, and it's becoming downright wasteful. I think I'll turn this off and re watch one of the other fifty shows following this same plot.
You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023)
Did Adam Sandler pay his friends for good reviews?
What can I say- I considered myself an Adam Sandler fan, with my formative years filled with gems like 50 First Dates and Waterboy. I was excited when I read about this movie and the context was that it was one of his best yet. Forty minutes in and I bailed, annoyed that I wasted my time. It's so obviously a vanity project meant to get his daughters going in Hollywood. Shameless Nepo content- which I wouldn't care about had it actually been funny or original or good in any way. Awkward (well to do) teen girls trying to gain popularity and the attention of the cute boy with epic party. Parents don't get it. There, that's all you need to know. I honestly don't care how it ended. Not even a tiny bit. To be fair, the girls were fine as actors (Idina Menzel seemed poorly cast with zero chemistry and a very bland performance), Adam wasn't funny at all- maybe he was afraid to take the spotlight from his daughters?
Well, the good news for those girls is he can manufacture their careers for their entire lives, so it won't really matter for them if the movies are good or bad.
Old (2021)
Unbelievably bad acting/ writing
What the actual.... Don't want to waste time on character development? Easy solution, have a kid hastily ask everyone for their name and occupation. Was this everyone's first acting/ writing job? Sheesh. Stiff dialogue. A hurried, two dimensional plot progression. Not one reason to feel anything for any of these characters. I guess if you turn off the sound it's a pretty beach to look at. I' so glad I waited until it was streaming on an app I already have, if I paid for this I would be pretty disappointed. At least I was able to turn it off, that was the best part of the movie- when I watched something else instead.
That '90s Show (2023)
Without the laugh track how would we know it's supposed to be funny?
Oh, let's start with the laugh track. It's impossible to focus on anything else- the constant - I mean CONSTANT- titters and roars are enough to make you question if everything is funny, is ANYTHING funny? Come on, it's 2023. Laugh tracks and forced/ cues studio audiences are played out. And a heavy handed laugh track can kill a show faster than unlikable actors. And that leads me into the other problem. How is it that the actors who went on to do some decent acting have regressed into caricatures? The veteran actors seem to have better things to be doing, and the new gang is... well, let's just say there isn't a single compelling thing about this reboot, and it now has me questioning why I liked the original when it came out.