Reviews

Scream 2 lives up to the original and delivers just what we want. The blood spills everywhere, the question of who it is remains intact yet again. (You won't guess who it is) Dewey is trying to be Mr. Cool now, rather than some Keystone Cop, and now he wants some Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox)! Sydney is really to fight again, and she gets the chance. Gale's new cameraman is a black dude who knows that brothers never survive so he books it. Cotton, the man Sydney accused of killing her mother, pops up. He wants to get his innocence spread around with a TV special. And then there's good ol' Ghostface, with his mean calls and enlongated mask. Good times. Once again, a blonde with noting important to the plot dies.

So there you are, another romp in slasher tribute and lotsa blood. Just as good as the first and crying for attention. Get this one too.

Well...let's see. A lesbian couple have engine trouble and end up being stalked by a crazy retard named Junior (well...I guess he's got a real name, ah whatever). There's plenty bad and a bit good about this movie.

What sucks:

1) Slow pace. We have a bit too much of this scene where one girl's alone and her car's shaking. It's supposed to be suspenseful, and it does make ya wonder. But then it loses its monentum by going on too long.

2) Apparently, they're supposed to be in Europe since the money is Euros, and they seem to have some kind of accent. But the gas station workers are clearly American. WTF?! And the girls go in and out of their accents. And the car ain't European, the steering wheel's on the right side. WHERE ARE THEY?!?! 3) Junior's daddy's acting wanes in some spots. He goes a bit over the top.

4) Junior doesn't look quite as inhuman as the cover suggests.

5) It's from 2002, but the quality seems aged, like 80s or something. I guess that's not really bad, but it suggests cheap budget.

6) Ending kinda sucks.

What rocks: 1) Cool setting. Plenty of outta the way areas with abandoned buildings in the background. Def. adds to it.

2) Junior's weapon of choice is this cool blade. Some kidna scythe.

3) Once the girl gets taken to Junior's humble abode, things get a little more interesting. It's all crazy and disturbing and crap.

It's alright for some mediocre horror. If ya like slashers, it'll give ya some fun. But it ain't no classic.

Yep It's true what they say. This movie is bad. But we love it anyway.

I was a bit disappointed because I was hoping for a lotta bad special effects and maybe some props falling in the background. Granted, the hubcap UFOs with strings are awesome, but where's the plywood props falling over? Ah well.

Bela Lugosi is pops up as the Old Man, but for the most part, the young chiropractor plays the character. Vampira has no real purpose in the film, except for us to ponder how she can breathe with that girdle. Tor Johnson as the Undead Officer Clay is the best part. That look on his face...timeless.

What really sucks is the acting...so...bad. Some parts are good, but some lines are terrible. "It was a small town, but a town nonetheless. A town full of people. People who died." And try not to laugh when Eros says "You're stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" and gets punched.

So for a sucky good time, Plan 9 delivers. And remember, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

NOTE: Have you ever heard of an urban legend called "The Babysitter" or something like that? If so, the beginning of this movie will not surprise you. Don't watch any episodes of Mostly True Stories on TLC.

Check the children. Kirk Duncan, the psychopath in this movie is isnane and likes to tear people apart with his bare hands, but when we see him he is seen, he acts weird, but meek. Who could he kill? We get an interesting picture of madness with this guy, but when they touch up on his suffering briefly, you want more about his inner turmoil. We don't get it, so he remains in background semi-cardboard. In performance, the actor (don't know his name) does a fine job. Perfect sadness on his face.

The beginning of this movie is classic night scare fodder. The surprise will blow you away (see top) The middle of this movie is a bit half baked. Not much goes on. The ending gets thing going again as he goes after his the babysitter from the beginning for one last chance to get her blood. Then, it ends a bit sudden. Ah, well. It's not the best horror flick, but still a pretty good one. Go ahead if you want you're basic "weird seventies movies."

Gore: nope Violence: pretty good Drugs: none Sex: none Nudity: a lanky thin guy gets nude. Ugh.

A killer fisherman with a hook! Sounds like something from an 80s slasher, but here it is.

Hard to believe this came out in 1997. I remember hearing about it, and it doesn't seem like seven years. Anyway, it uses the old bloody hook urban legend and creates a sweet picture. Although it lacks some logic and substance. (some of these things are vital to the plot and can't be told without spoiling), it still packs in some suspense and has some creepy atmosphere, especially in the ending dock scene and at Sissy's house. The killer is somewhat like the black gloved killers of Italian giallo. He is seen, but kept in the dark. Much better than showing nothing like Friday The 13th (which still was a good flick). The weapon is also unique, a hook. However, it seems odd for someone to be holding a hook, something you normally think of as a prosthetic for pirates or something. Would've been a little cooler if it was attached to him. Anyway, the teens are your usual f--- f---! type that get drunk and do supid stuff. What a freaking stereotype! Gets a little old. It's funny when the macho guys make fools of themselves, though.

So it's a pretty good horror film. Rent it for some fun and a bit of suspense.

Peter Graves, Les Nielson, Robert Stack (RIP): just three great stars in this film. Everyone else is great, I just don't remember their names. This movie is hilarious! Just uproarous. here are a few classic moments:

1. Otto the auto pilot. Really, it's wonderful. Inflatable monster. 2. The Jive Speaking White Woman 3. Peter Graves, the pilot with a penchant for dirty talk with little boys 4. "It looks like a big Tylenol!" I don't know that guy's name, but he's great. Prince Charles is comin' to town and there's a fire in the barn!. 5. Robert Stack. He's the only serious character, until his talk on the radio to no one. Yikes. 6. The Nun. Do they really act like that? 7. Don't call me Shirley. 8. Everything! 9. Did I mention the autopilot?

This is one of the funniest movies ever. The one liners and sight gags are everywhere. It packs in all the laughs you could want. Get it!

Oh! And I just wanted to tell you we're all counting on you. Good luck.

H20 was a good way to end the series, but they wanted more money! So they threw this one in and....

Well, ya wanna see dangertainment? It's great! Onw would think they would really mess up on this one, but it's all good. The whole Dangertainment thing is just like reality TV. Michael's mask is a little overdone here, but it does look cool. As usual, there's some people who take The Shape head on. This time, however both of them get somewhere. The two backs dudes in the film keep their pimp hands strong with a couple of smacks to Mikey. The Dangertainment producer really gets into the swing of things with kung-fu action. ("Happy Halloween Motherf___er!"). This does take away from Michael a little though. Isn't he supposed to get ALL the carnage?

Actually there is a problem. This movie follows along the curse Scream (despite it's glory) brought to use in the nineties and still today in b-movies like Dark Harvest and Bloody Murder). There's no serious scare to the movie. It's too...fun! Halloween 6 was hardly a fun movie, it was darker than hell! One can't help but wonder if the formula of this movie will carry on the next one, which they are planning as I write this. If so, it's possible, almost certain in fact, that the Halloween films will be reduced to silly and campy horror cheese. Of course, maybe I'm fretting too much. Get the latest Halloween, get yerself some popcorn and get nice and cozy. This little romp will keep you warm.

Here's to debauchery with knives!

The story has dramatically been redone, but it works very well. In fact, this remake is better than the original.

Pros:

1. The brutal scene with the sheriff and the gun in the van. Darkest part of the movie. The light on the sheriff's eyes is perfect. 2. That kid from The Ring does a good job as the weird little boy. 3. The family. Rather than just a father, a brother, and a half dead grandpa, we have a whole mess of inbred freaks! Yay! 4. The hitchhiker. No, not the weird hitchhiker in the first, but...well see for yourself. 5. Less manic screaming. That whole dinner table scene was...too "seventies." 6. Chainsaw Mania!

Cons:

1. There's just not enough Leatherface in this one. And you never get a good shot of him in the light. I suppose this adds to the suspense but... 2. They should've had the old grandpa. That was one of the creepy highlights of the original. 3. I kind of wished they had used the exact characters in this one. There's no whining disabled Frank and the hippie with the glasses isn't there. I did like the stoned dude in the glasses though.

The original was scary due in part to it's age, but this one was just scary. It's a brutal grisly movie with lot's of gross stuff, even little things that just make you go "uuuh!" This is what the word horror means.

Yes, a ten year old going to jail for murder is unreal, but that's the only real flaw in this movie. It still carries suspense and intriuge the whole way. None of the actors are bad, and it is executed very well. You've got a shadowy killer (used in slashers often) and some good murder scenes thrown in. The detective that helps the girls adds in a romantic connection that never really gets played out (course, being in jail for a decade, she's new to mating). Lifetime did a good job with this, though I doubt any of their other films are as good as this. Ah well, look for this one one TV (it was one a few months ago).

not rated, but very adult themed with mild language and violence

Of all the films made about the life of Jesus Christ, this one is the most brutal. The torture, the blood, the violence is unbelievable, but Jesus and many other victims of crucifixion suffered it centuries ago.

This is what makes this movie good:

1. A very different portrayal of Satan. 2. Told in Aramaic and Latin. That should be done more often. 3. Want to know how much Jesus suffered for you? Whether you believe he was the son of God or not, any man who suferred that much for the whole world HAS to touch you. 4. Death is only the beginning..........

This is an amazing movie. Get it.

God bless.

M. Night Shamalayan is nothing amazing (that Sc-Fi Channel special on him is an insult to your intelligence), but he certainly makes scary movies. Even before "Passion of the Christ," Mel Gibson shows his Christian side as a priest-father of two. The religious undertones of the movie seem a bit odd, but work well. Gibson's brother in the movie is one of the best characters. Swing away! The female police officer performs well too. For such a serious movie, there's a lot of fun moments. A few that are even fun-ny. The suspense is excellent. The aliens are not seen till the end, but that's not problem. There's plenty of scares in here.

Rent it, you'll be happy. Verrrry happy.

Yeah...it's a classic. You can't go wrong with a movie like this because it's a horror classic.

1. You've got a girl skin diving (yahoo!). Add in a shark and a zombie and BAM!

2. Gorefest. You get the Italian special on this one. The zombies look excellent.

3. Music. Basic, but oh so cool synthesizer just adds to it! But if that's not your cup of tea, try the "Island Theme." Just lotsa bongos. Really atmospheric.

Though the acting is so so (dubbing probably doesn't help), it's a fine piece of work. I have yet to see Dawn Of The Dead, so the whole rip-off Zombi 2 sequel thing is a blur to me. I say just let this baby stand alone. Lucio Fulci speaks for himself.

It's amazing how well executed this movie is. It seems realisic and yet so..."movie!" Christopher Guest (who did a fine "guest" on Saturday Night Live in a game show skit..."Chocolate Babies?") did some great work on this and all of the characters are classic. Eugene Levy may be the best in this. His performance of Mitch, or rather the shell of what Mitch once was is hilarious. The best scene is, in my opinion, the scene in which Mickey's wife shows Mitch his model trains and model town. Levy's comments about seeing the town in the autumn ("I would have made tiny leaves...") are the funniest lines in the film. The Folksmen show off funny interaction scenes (yep, those are the guys from Spinal Tap) and The New Mainstreet Singers are definitely the commercial b*st*rds of this film. W.I.N.C.-a religion based on color. That's classic. I would recommend getting the DVD for the great deleted scenes, including a press conference in which Mitch talks about Canadian hip-hop, where kids rap about cleanliness.

I love this film. Despite it's rating, a great family movie. The sexual references are minor. There's just two scenes. One: A brief talk about a sex emporium and Two: References to starring in dirty movies. Get past these and mom, dad and the kids can have a good time. Just punch a hole in the record first.

"Jason...mother is talking to you!"

This one was more my cup of tea since it has a masked killer, which I love. I have yet to see any of the films in which he has a hocky mask, so I can't compare the different masks. The scarecrow outfit is great though. The murders are good and the acting is much better. This one is far from the obviously cheap budget original, yet when I saw the original it seemed a little more scary. Nevertheless, we have a classic piece of horror work here. I recommended it to all fans of slashers.

Rated R for violence/gore, hot nudity(!), and sexuality. Oh and some language

This film is based on Dracula by Bram Stoker, but since it wa illegal at the time to copy the book to film (that was got the first Dracula film, Drakula, lost) F. W. Mureau changed it up. Dracula is now Graf Orlock, better known as Nosferatu ("undead" in Romanian). Rather than a sexy Hungarian, Orlock is clearly inhuman. his is batlike with pointed ears and claws. his fangs are also different. Like a rodent, his slashers are his two front teeth.

Bela Lugosi is pathetic. Who's scared of that? Max Schreck is the best Dracula ever, of course he's not really Dracula. His makeup is perfect, the whole batlike features are excellent. Even today he is cool looking. Imagine seeing it in 1922! German expressionism was in top form in this period, but Nosferatu surprisingly shows little of that. It is certainly different looking from The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari. Many of the characters (and this is straight out of German silent cinema) have odd names. Van Helsing is now Bulwer (his role is minor in this), Jonathan Harker is now Thomas Hutter, and Reinfield is recreated as Knock ( a very different character from the other. But the film is great. A silent masterpiece.

Anyone who hasn't seen a Friday the 13th film and only knows about a hockey mask psycho named Jason take notice: he is not the killer in the first one but he is part of the whole story. He gets to axe 'em in all the other ones. This one sets the whole thing up. (oringally the sequels weren't even in mind).

This movie set many slasher standards. The whole camp thing, sexy teens galore, and a knife wielding psycho. Though like so many early slashers, it takes some time to get moving, but once it starts it just keeps improving. And the ending is sure to make you go "whoa!"

Rated R for violence, gore, and sexuality (but not really nudity, surprising!)

"Kill her mommy! Kill her!

You know, this isn't bad. The whole thing takes place in a submarine, so there's a feeling of claustrophobia. Stuck underwater with a ghost. Oh great. This is the best element of the entire movie. You rarely actually see the ghost, but lots of action goes on otherwise. The comic book guy is cool and who could go wrong with a British hottie? The tension between characters is also very well played. The whole whodunit thing on why the ghost is after them doesn't work too well. Just doesn't impress me very much at all.The WW2 setting somehow adds to the whole thing overall. The American crew show the usual anti-German view of the period. Huh. It's not so much a horror film, but I'm not sure what to call it, so that's what I'll stick with. A good horror film. Quite underrated.

R rating applies mostly to the fact this has a lot of language, but there is some violence.

This movie isn't a scary horror film, but it's a classic. Faceless is one of the killers out for vengeance that has you rooting for him. The evil boss Milo (played by that guy who starred as Slippery Pete in the classic Senifeld episode) really needs to, though he has some funny lines. It really not very serious in some ways, and some stuff and hilarious. It's never really been billed that way, but that's what it is. This is the first Romero flick I've seen, and I thinkhe does very well. Can't wait to see his Dead series. As for this one, it's a fun horror classic. Go get it.

"Hey creep! You wanna free peak?"

Elements of science fiction and horror come together very well in this movie. You never know who the Thing is till he mutates! The effects were brilliant! Very good for even today. It's got an action movie air as well. Great movie. Watch as soon as you can. Sci fi and horror fans will love it.

Rated R for language, gore and violence

Texas Chainsaw Masacre 2 is brilliant. Dennis Hopper's performance may be a bit over the top, but he does great. Chop Top is hilarious. He and daddy fight just like in the original. Classic! Bill Johnson's Leatherface is almost better than Gunnar Hansen's! Yes, this one's not as scray as the original, but it's still great!

Classic insane horror! This movie defiantly has the "weird seventies" feel. It was two years before "Alice, Sweet Alice" and four years before "Halloween," both great masked killer movies. I'll explain the good and bad of the movie. Okay, here are the bad parts of the movie: 1) Killingwise, most of it was with a hammer, the chainsaw was used for killing once. 2) The dinnertable scene was very erratic. Those closeup shots of Sally got annoying. Only the seventies. 3) The acting actually seemed bad in the sense that it was if five teens were put in a van to talk, no script. It guess that makes it seem real and documentary-like, but when you're being entertained you usually want perfection. Now this is the good stuff: 1) The creepy opening 2) The first chase scene with Sally was excellent! 3) Grandpa is creeepy! 4) Leatherface is masterfully played. Those masks are creepy! 5) Hitchhiker and Drayton's arguments are sooo hilarious. 6) The end! (chainsaw dance my friend?) This is an insane and often totally weird film. But it is scary with its freaky madness and truly classic! 7.5 out of 10 Rated R for extreme violence, some gore, disturbing images, and graffic torture.

Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, Jack Nicholson, what do they have in common? They all knew the Monkees! The characters look well enough like the Monkees, the story does them good justice, the music is good. There are historical flaws, though the wall punching scene did happen, I believe it was really different in real life. In any event, a pretty good film!

This show has some good fun and fine genius. None of the new episodes are good though. There are some big faults though!

1) I HATE Dee-Dee! She makes too many episodes unwatchable! But they make the person who sometimes saves Dexter. I hate that! 2) Sometimes Dexter's arrogance gets on my nerves. 3) What's up with the new episodes? Bad new animation, bad voice, dumb stories! This show has run it's course. Either kill Dee-Dee (I swear I wouldn't miss her a bit) and get everthing back to the way it USED to be! Speech over