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Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)
It's not but, but it isn't anything to write home about.
I went to a preview screening today at the Mall of America, where Kevin James was doing a signing to promote his new movie. I didn't get an autograph, but I was able to go to the preview screening of the movie, and although we got into it a couple minutes late, I was still able to see the bulk of the movie.
It definitely isn't bad, but I wouldn't put it up there as a top comedy either. It's decent at best. There are actually a few genuinely funny moments, but there aren't many. The rest of the jokes throughout the movie aren't bad in the sense that you cringe at them, but they aren't really what I'd call funny either. Really though, the movie is highly tolerable, and doesn't overstay it's welcome, ending at a good time. I didn't have to pay for it, so maybe that's why I enjoyed it so much, but as long as you aren't looking for the next great comedy, at the very least, you won't be disappointed.
The main weakness of the movie is the main villains in the movie, the "X-TREME T33M!", turn what is a pretty good movie into a pretty mediocre movie. You just can't take them seriously, as usually bad guys in movies don't jump around as if they believe they are the evil twins of Spider- man, and to make it worse, they also equip themselves with skateboards and BMX bikes, because apparently free running around the wall wasn't XTREEEEEEEM enough for them. They really make the movie seem more like a kid's movie than it already did, which I guess it is more of a kid's movie, but still.
Kevin James himself isn't bad, and he has most of the best jokes of the movie come from him, but he isn't really at the top of his game either. Really no complaints; the only thing holding him back is the somewhat sloppy script. If you liked him in "King of Queens", you'll probably like him in this, yet he is a little underwhelming to be honest.
The plot is very simplistic, Hollywood routine stuff here, no surprises, except one last minute twist that is actually unexpected, mostly because it was so unnecessary to move the plot forward. It was just so unneeded that it really made no sense, and was almost shocking. It's like someone who says they are going to count to 100 and then they count to 105. What was the point of that? They already accomplished their goal when they got to 100. Kind of a bad analogy, but you get the idea.
Overall, it's nothing to write home about, but it definitely isn't bad. If you are a huge Kevin James fan, then go ahead and see it, and if you have kids, then they will most likely like it. I was going to give it a 6/10, but seeing as how it is more of a kid's movie, I decided to give it a 7, also because it is very tolerable, and there are some actually pretty funny parts, so it is an enjoyable movie (although again, I could be a little more accepting because I got to see it for free). You might enjoy it, you might not. Really, just watch the trailer. It pretty much captures the spirit of the movie.
Disturbia (2007)
Stupid.
I thought this movie would be good, but the minute I saw the car barrel rolling through the air near the beginning, I knew it would be a Hollywood crap fest. I was right. Why would a serial killer, someone who is obviously being extremely careful to keep his secret, kill people in his house with the lights on, the blinds on his windows up, and right in front of the windows, where all the neighbors can see. Furthermore, why, when he finds out that the neighbor kid is spying on him, continue these behaviors, not to mention then kidnap the kid's mother, pretty much ensuring that the kid gets involved even further? Oh I know, because fools will love it. When I pointed out these glaring flaws to the people I watched it with, they said I was over analyzing the movie, and that I should just enjoy it. I tend to enjoy movies that are believable. For instance, when the girl catches Kale spying on her, and he gives the most canned speech of all time "You look at the whole world, when I only see you...", and says something to the extent of "Even though that's the creepiest thing I've ever heard, I find it romantic, and therefore, find you attractive, even though I just said I think you are creepy." It's just dumb. Not to mention that entire plot just takes away from the story and is completely unnecessary. After Kale is captured by the serial killer, the man reveals his entire devious plan to him! Honestly, I thought movies got to the point where we didn't have the villains giving monologues anymore. Now there are talks for a sequel. What, does another serial killer happen to move into the same house and Kale starts spying on him too? Ugh. This is just a movie that had potential story-wise, ending up to be a disaster.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
This is a review for VENOM
Again I would like to remind you this isn't so much of a review of the movie itself but for how they did Venom in the movie.
First off I'll say the things they got right with Venom. His suit was really cool, I liked how they made it look almost just like the comics (with the exception of the webbing patterns, but that didn't really matter), and I liked how they gave him that sarcastic dark comedic nature when he was Venom, that he always has. (such as when he says "my Spidey sense is tingling, and I think you know what that means...") Venom without his dark humor is not a good Venom at all, so I give props to that. Also I liked the touch of making his webbing black, AND get this, he even shot web from the top of his hand, which was a nice detail. The way they did the bell tower was also pretty good, and fairly close to the comics.
The bad stuff about Venom is that he didn't put up much of a fight against Spiderman, (which he can easily do in the comics, if not beat Spiderman, all Spiey has is sound, which he does end up using in the movie to beat Venom, but it was too fast) Also, Venom didn't talk much he mostly just screeched a lot like a dinosaur all the time, which is more of a carnage thing if you ask me. The far worst aspect of Venom though was his voice. He is supposed to sound like an awesome monster with a low type voice, in this he had a whiny teenage wanna be ninja turtle type voice. It was disturbing, because his voice was one of the best parts of him. Also, he din't refer to himself as "WE", instead using the term "I" for everything, and never even said his name. He was hardly in the move, too, and the fact that they killed eddie brock is a disgrace to the Venom name.
Overall they did some aspects cool, but mostly it was an insult to Venom fans.