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Reviews
Tactical Assault (1998)
Robert Patrick Must Stop Fat Lazarus-Like Hauer!!
Ahh yes, this is one of those films. You know the one. You're red-eyed and bleary with fatigue, but you just can't sleep. The dogs of insomnia outside your door. You flip the TV on at about 3am....this is the kind of movie you get.
The person who noted that Rutger Hauer looked pretty beefy for a POW is dead-on. Maybe they tied him down for those six years at a Chinese buffet or something. He's a hell of a guy though. He is an Air Force pilot, but he also has ninja skills riding on a truck and messing up missile programming, killing armed guards, and surviving tank explosions. There was also some pretty sad security on that military base. A fence a 12 year old could clime is all that stands between tanks that you can just jump in and ride. There are no guards there either? Robert Patrick goes into that munitions storage and comes out with an RPG which seems to magically reload itself. Hauer's tank also got off three shots....I thought a tank had to be reloaded after firing a shot? Hmm...
The dialogue in the last ten minutes was gold. Hauer has killed Patrick's squad...and is heading towards the base to kill his wife...who of course is on the exact floor he blasts his machine guns into. Patrick says something like: "You S.O.B., you're no pilot!" Well, Hauer's character is an S.O.B, and he is also crazy, but he is a pilot and all. That's how this whole thing started.
After Hauer's plane crashed into the water at the end, I expected him to spring out of the water, ala Jason in the first Friday The 13th, as Patrick walked with his wife and newborn child.
American Movie (1999)
Just watched it again.
I just watched this again the other night. It's probably the ninth or tenth time I've seen it, and I think it gets better every time. Contrary to what some people are saying, I don't think the makers of this film are laughing at and ridiculing Mark. Sure, some of the humor in the film is of the car-crash can't look away variety, but I feel underneath that they really admire the guy and his dogged tenacity. Another thing is I think Mark does show some skill as a director. Remember he has zero money shooting this stuff, and Coven was conceived as a money-making venture so he could make Northwestern. I think some of the samples they were showing from Northwestern actually looked very good. Now I don't think Mark writes the best dialogue in the world, but looking just at his photographic eye I'd say if the guy had any kind of schooling he might be shooting movies for someone right now. And finally, I think some of the people making negative comments about this movie need to look in the mirror and think about themselves a bit. OK, you don't like the movie, that's fine. But I've seen enough smug, superior, comments on here to make me want to puke. I love how as long as you're a poor, lower middle-class white in America people love to throw around terms like "white trash", "redneck", and other such pleasantries. I believe some scribe from Orange County at the beginning of the reviews even called them "inferior". I'm sure most of the people making the comments consider themselves liberals too; as if they have any concept of what that word means.
Dracula vs. Frankenstein (1971)
It's all a blur
I remember seeing this one about 9 years ago. I was underage and got my produce manager at the grocery store to get me two cases of Miller High Life (hey...I know...but MHL was very cheap then) and about 5 of us were watching it at a friend's house. Only two of us drank...so that was a case apiece. Subsequently, the only thing I remember is Dracula having a beard and an afro, and Lon Chaney looking very shaky and as drunk as I was.
The Last Dinosaur (1977)
PALADIN ROCKS!!
I remember watching this stinker as a young kid. Richard Boone makes this movie. Salty-ass ham baby!! Stalking around prehistory sounding like Tom Waits' dad and wearing some funky, disco duck clothing. Always ready to kill the dinosaurs with his trusty 30-06. Not to nitpick or anything....but is that a big enough rifle to take down a dino? I mean, you have to have a pretty big slug to down an elephant quickly right? I'd bet bagging a dinosaur would be even tougher than dropping Dumbo.
Sacrifice (2000)
Pass the Jack Daniels Michael Madsen!!
I guess the only redeeming factor about movies like this is that they supply Michael Madsen with money to buy liquor. I caught this in the wee small hours on cable one night and couldn't resist watching it. Madsen plays...a Michael Madsen character!! But less so. Michael really needs to pore over his scripts a bit better. I'm sure he gets some bad ones but one winner has got to come along once in a while. The serial killer scenes in this one reminded me of some early 80's Friday The 13th ripoff film.