Reviews

Darker and a lot more magical than the two previous movies, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban comes highly recommended. The three main actors have all aged but this works better with the heavier subject matter of the third installment of the Potter franchise. Michael Gambon is excellent as Richard Harris' replacement for Dumbeldore and after about half of the movie you fail to notice the actor has been changed. Emma Thompson and Dawn French are amusing in supporting roles. My only gripe is that the excellent Alan Rickman as Professor Snape was once again criminally unused, and overall it's astonishing how little screentime the A-list actors receive! Draco Malfoy is also totally useless in this movie - what happened to that boy? I figured by now he'd been inspiring fear, not laughs. Perhaps not suitable for very younger children - my 3 1/2 year old found the werewolf scenes a bit tense, to say the least. My eight-year old loved it, however. Overall, a strong 9/10.

Grin at 'cool' Fonzie and pathetic, nerd friends time travel on a saucer. Titter at cuddly mascot, 'Mr Cool'. Chuckle at the gangs' crazy adventures. Scream with laughter when you realise you've gone blind and you won't have to endure anything minute of this tripe. A horrible, horrible show.

Everyone used to talk about how SCREAM 'saved' horror; the irony was, as we've now come to see, it actually killed it off, and almost for good. While SCREAM is a pretty decent film, the firm tongue-in-cheekness of the script, combined with pretty teenage kids, and subsequent turnover at the box office, made studios go teen-horror movie mad. The end result was five years of complete drivel from the so-called horror genre, with few notable exceptions, all from outside the teen horror area (SIXTH SENSE, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, and lately RING). Tripe like I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, URBAN LEGEND, SHRIEK, and the spoofy but equally terrible SCARY MOVIEs helped turn horror completely into a farce. A joke, even. The follow-ups to SCREAM further contributed to this demise, both forgetting the joke and playing themselves further into near-total parody. Another irony is that Craven did this in-joke horror much better two years earlier with NEW NIGHTMARE; a far superior horror movie, and a very underated flick. Only lately, with the realisation that horror was actually a lot better in the 1970s, have we seen some signs that a turnaround might be on the horizon. Please, please, please... don't screw it all up by making another SCREAM, Wes.

Wow, what a major disappointment.

I bought the KILL BILL original soundtrack a few weeks back, played it once, and never played it again. Tarantino's OST choices are some of the best CDs I've ever heard; the KILL BILL one, while not terrible, was so forgettable and background-music-lite that I should have seen this as some kind of omen.

KILL BILL, the movie, in short, is actually pretty terrible.

I know what Quentin was attempting to do; I grew up watching the Asian martial arts flicks of the 1970s and early 1980s and I loved them. There was something incredibly satisfying about the incredible physical realism of seeing those guys strut their stuff; guys like Sonny Chiba, who features in KILL BILL, left an impression on me that will never be forgotten. Their all-around coolness, with martial artistry that topped anything you'd see from Hollywood, was a revelation.

However, I hated the wire work. I hated ninjas that could leap thirty feet vertically. I hated the fact that they possessed super-strength, and never seemed to tire. I hated the fact that, for some stupid, code-of-honour reason, the bad guys only ever fought the good guys one-on-one, despite overwhelming odds. And I hated the ridiculously over-the-top bloodwork.

Unfortunately, Tarantino, in his quest for the perfect homage, concluded that KILL BILL would have to feature all of these awful traits, and more. And for someone who has openly criticised THE MATRIX movies for their use of 'wire-fu', I thought it was pretty rich indeed that KILL BILL featured so much obvious use of wire-assistance.

The plot is simplicity itself; it's your basic revenge thriller. The Bride, played by Uma Thurman, wakes from a four-year coma to find herself not only less the child she was carrying, but at the receiving end of God-knows how many unwarranted sexual advances as her sure-thing, dormant body was leased out to hicks for a straight $75/throw. This obviously p**ses her off big time, but when we learn, through flashbacks, of the massacre of her husband-to-be, and entire party, at her wedding four years prior, well, she's really not very happy at all.

The killings were orchestrated by her former employer, Bill, leader of the much-feared Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, which includes O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu), Elle Driver (Darryl Hannah), Budd (Michael Madsen) and Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox). At the wedding, the Bride is beaten severely, the final blow coming from a bullet straight into her head, at close range, from Bill. Her final words, "The baby is yours," before he pulls the trigger. Nice.

The Bride draws up her 'death list'; the five members of the Viper Squad that she will kill, leading up to Bill himself.

KILL BILL, like PULP FICTION before it, isn't told in sequence; it's not as clever as PULP, but the opening scene, for example, is actually the end of the movie time-wise. It works because you move straight into the action. And if action's your bag, then you're laughing baby. The film is pretty much non-stop action, bar a few necessary plot movements and pauses. And initially, you're grateful, because this is what you came to see. By the end of the flick, however, you're praying for it to move on. Like most films of this type, ultimately, the reason you came to see the movie is lost; fights blend into each other, and you find yourself checking your watch.

However, in other Tarantino movies, these endless battles would have been saved by the little slices of genius in between. This is so not the case in KILL BILL; for someone who has built his career on dialogue, some of the shite uttered by the cast in this flick has to be heard (or read - lots of subtitles) to be believed.

Mostly, it's the Japanese translations that fall totally flat. Sonny Chiba, for example, utters the immortal:

"I can tell you, with no ego, that this is my finest blade. If, on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut."

Hello? God is Jewish - of course he's cut! ;-)

As you have probably read, this is a very violent movie. Quentin got the film past the credits for three reasons: one, the blood and gore is so over-the-top that it cannot be taken seriously at all. It's cartoon violence. Two, the most disturbing scene of the movie, which traces O-Ren's history, is shown entirely in anime. Obviously, this was necessary because it features a young child, and includes the notion of paedophilia. However, the scene is so sleazy that it will leave a terrible taste in your mouth. Again, I know what he was doing, but anime is so awful, so ridiculously dated, that it just plain sucked. Finally, a concluding scene of the movie is shown entirely in black and white; this gets the critics past the most over-use of blood that you're going to see in any flick post BRAIN DEAD. It's also played for laughs and, you guessed it, pretty much sucks.

That's what really gets to me with this film; Quentin, as I've repeatedly spewed, was making a direct homage to those Asian movies of the 70s. However, while these films hold on an important place in the heart of many a fan, these films could never be described as good pieces of work. Fun? Sure. Important? Maybe. But as I laid out above, so much of them was utter garbage, and even as a ten-year old I found myself shaking my head repeatedly throughout a viewing. By not removing these parts and, indeed, highlighting them, Quentin has taken what could have been a fantastic homage into a near-parody. You want blood? Sure, here you go - let's take Johnny Depp's death scene in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and make everybody shoot blood out like that when they die! You want chopped off limbs? Sure, here you go - let's make everybody lose at least one limb, and have arms, legs and heads flying all over the place. You want our hero facing ridiculous, overwhelming odds (in this case, of eighty-eight to one) and still come through, even though the bad guys could have just rushed her and - God forbid - pulled out a gun at any time and ended the battle in seconds? Sure, here you go - and let's not only let her beat them easily, but have a laugh while she's doing it.

Worse, Tarantino sets up these concepts in the movie, but then breaks them. OK, so people bleed ridiculous amounts of blood before they die - fine. But then don't have somebody dying within minutes of having their tongue bitten out, only for someone else to live out half of the movie with several limbs missing. Duhhh. In the case of the latter, she must have been in possession of eighty or so pints of blood because she lost at least twenty with her first arm. Yes, it's not meant to be taken seriously, obviously. But it should have been. This should have been a serious movie.

The acting is decent enough; I'm not totally convinced that Uma Thurman was right for this role, but Quentin worships the ground she walks on (almost literally; the close-ups of her disgusting, chimp-like feet turn your stomach). Clearly she was in good shape, but more than once it was obvious that the distance shots of her fighting were actually some geezer in a blonde wig, only for the camera to then zoom in for a grimacing close-up of our Uma.

You don't see much of Bill (David Carradine), or Budd (Madsen), but the female members of the Viper Squad are given serious screen time. And with "beauties" like Uma, Lucy Liu, Daryl Hannah and Vivica A. Fox, nobody was really complaining. Except me, I guess. I don't find any of these women all that attractive; Liu and Fox stand above the reason. Thurman used to be gorgeous, but now she's a walking skeleton. Hannah has always looked like a walking skeleton. Her character is terrible; an eyepatch has never been cool, especially on a woman, and a medical eyepatch even less so (a TERRIBLE scene!). Aside from the Bride, Liu's O-Ren gets the most background, and she's the second best part of this movie, both from an acting and character perspective. Outside of the posse, and getting sound applause all round, Chiaki Kuriyama's (BATTLE ROYALE) Go Go Yubari, armed with ball and chain, is perhaps the one genuine reason to go and see this flick; she's uber-cool, and you gotta love the insanity in those eyes. You'd love to fuck her, but you know that pretty much for sure you'd never survive it (ease up, cowboy, Kuriyama is 19 years old). She kicks arse. You have to respect a woman who knows how to handle balls so masterfully. I loved her.

The film is split into five chapters, and the final part shows us the long-coming battle between the Bride and O-Ren. It's a nice scene, prefixed by the Bride single-handedly beating O-Ren's Crazy 88 without hardly breaking a sweat, and then facing O-Ren herself. Clearly, there's much respect between the two, and the Samurai-inspired scene, filmed outside in a beautiful, snowy landscape, is very attractive indeed. If only it handed ended so lousily; Quentin, mate, you set it up so wonderfully, and then pull the snowy rug away and leave us with farce. I saw shades of HANNIBAL, and wouldn't have been surprised if it concluded with the Bride tucking into a cerebral snack when she got back on the plane. And WHAT was the deal with the Bride being allowed to have her sword next to her on every flight? Hello? HELLO? Quentin? Is anybody home??? Shocking.

A few Quentin-esque touches were nice; a big poster that the Bride walks past displays Red Apple cigarettes. The Bride dons a pair of Clarance's, TRUE ROMANCE, Elvis sunglasses. I like that. But, overall, the usual feeling of cleverness so eloquently expressed by PULP FICTION and JACKIE BROWN was missing.

As I mentioned earlier, usually Tarantino's choice of music is pretty much spot-on. Every time I hear "Stuck In The Middle With You" I'm sent straight back to that cop's hell at the hands of Michael Madsen's Mr Blonde. Likewise, the PULP FICTION OST is about as good as it gets. In this movie, Quentin, once again throwing a nod towards the 1970s Asian flicks, chose to set up a scene pretty much exclusively on the back of the music. The O-Ren Ishii/Bride final battle is totally dominated by a very loud, and in my opinion, poorly chose theme that totally undercuts the beauty and impact of that fight. It just didn't work at all. There's some good stuff on the OST, but it pales next to his other movies.

As does KILL BILL as a whole. It's easily Quentin's worst flick to date. My gut reaction when it came out as, "That was bollocks." But I told myself to go away and think about it. I have done. It was bollocks. Sure, it was stylish bollocks, and there is some really good stuff in there, but overall, it's still bollocks. Quentin-worshippers will defend the superficiality of the movie with the same force that they would have torn-apart a Jean-Claude Van Damme flick that featured the same identical, ridiculous scenes. And that's their prerogative. But however much you look at it, and want to like it, this film is flawed, and it's for the very same reasons that inspired Tarantino to make it in the first place. The truth is, as I said, and this comes from a big fan, that those films of the 1970s just aren't really all that good. And despite the cool fighting and style, when you get below the surface, there's very little underneath indeed. Sure, I'll go and see the sequel - I do want to know how it pans out. But no matter how many times you watch this flick, it's never going to open up for you like PULP FICTION did.

Let's face it, this is pretty poor stuff, and would never have seen the light of day if it weren't for the LOTR movies. And 6.8/10 on here? Come on; at least half of that score is from bullish LOTR fans who mark anything up associated with Peter Jackson. This is 4/10 at best. It's not terrible; it's just not good.

Anyone going into this movie with the slightest, whisper of an interest in analysing the plot needs to stay at home; 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS is not for you. Who is it for? Predominately, fans of the first movie (of which I am one), folks interested in cars and good-looking women, gals interested in Paul Walker and Tyrese, and folks easily impressed by bright colours. Don't get me wrong - the movie has a great sense of humour and self-mockery (something that the first flick was missing) and it's a wild ride. The opening race is amazing, and throughout you'll be impressed by the cars whether you want to be or not. Tyrese is a revelation, showing great comedy timing and it's evident that both he and Paul Walker had a blast making this sequel. Walker maintains his Keanu Reeves-light impersonation, but he's still interesting enough to capture your attention. My money's on Vin Diesel returning for the next episode (3 FAST 3 FURIOUS??? :) if XXX2 and his other projects don't generate the big bucks - set this one in Mexico, boys. Once again, don't bother with this if you're one of those people incapable of actually enjoying a movie as opposed to reading every little thing between the lines; this isn't for you. It's for everyone else. Recommended. And you can bring you date - she'll like the boys.

My expectations for ICE AGE were not great; after the pretty uninspired trailer, I rented the movie primarily for the kids. But then I always say that, and much like TOY STORY before it, ICE AGE is much more than a film that's just for the nippers. Indeed, it's a charming, heartfelt tale that will appeal to people of all ages. The animation is outstanding, and ICE AGE is yet another example of the shift within the genre away from the painstakingly hand drawn, classic Disney cartoons of old to the modern, computer-assisted animated features of today. (Although the work in animated flicks such as ICE AGE is no less impressive. Check out the DVD behind the scenes features for an eye-opening look at the – ahem – ‘mammoth' task involved in bringing such a project to life.)

Set 20,000 years previously in the midst of an Ice Age, the film opens with a look at the most amusing character in the movie: Scrat, the sabre-toothed squirrel. Poor Scrat wants nothing more than to bury an acorn, his food source for the winter, and throughout the film we're treated to his exploits as he attempts to do this supposedly simple task. Yet, no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, he is continuously foiled by the elements, his fellow beasts, or just plain bad luck. Scrat is a hilarious creation and his scenes are the highlight of the entire movie. (Scrat, incidentally, is ‘voiced' – a series of screeches, grunts and screams – by ICE AGE director Chris Wedge. Make sure you check out the extra Scrat animated short on the DVD – it's the best of the lot.)

The true story of ICE AGE centres on the tale of three unlikely friends: Manfred (Ray Romano), an enormous mammoth who decides that, unlike the rest of the world, he'll migrate North this winter; Sid, a lazy, good-for-nothing sloth who talks a mile-a-minute (voiced by the hilarious John Leguizamo); and Diego (Dennis Leary), a fierce, sly sabre-toothed tiger who doesn't tolerate fools – or anyone else – lightly. The trio are brought together by the discovery of a human baby. Sid decides that the right thing to do is to return the child to its father, and talks the reluctant Manfred around. Diego's motives are more sinister – his secret mission is to return the child to his pack.

The story progresses as the three battle increasingly harsh conditions, including snowstorms, wind, volcanoes, a theme park inspired ice-ride through a cave, and more, as they move on towards their destiny. Along the way they become closer to each other and to the man-child, particularly the confused Diego, who begins to question his motives. Manfred, meantime, battles with inner demons about his own feelings towards mankind, while the upbeat Sid blunders in regardless of the dangers around him.

The principle cast of ICE AGE provide a significant amount of character in their respective parts. In particular, John Leguizamo's Sid is very funny indeed, and the extra on the DVD that shows us how Leguizamo came up with Sid's very unique, toothsome voice, is worth the price of the DVD alone. In his other work, Ray Romano, a massive star in the U.S. thanks to his EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND series, but a virtual unknown outside of the States, isn't as funny as he thinks he is. But his nasally, thick voice is perfectly suited to the gruff, no B.S. Manfred. Denis Leary is always good value, and his sixty-a-day croak of a voice is ideal for the sly Diego. As stated above, however, it is the priceless Scrat that steals ICE AGE.

Beautiful animation is almost a prerequisite nowadays; if a movie cannot deliver in that sense, it's almost a failure irrespective of the quality of the story (i.e., POKEMON). ICE AGE has some of the best quality work you will see. The team behind the animation talked of their desire to replicate the work of Chuck Jones ROADRUNNER style of animation – that being, simply, sketched backgrounds with the focus on detail applied completely to the characters in the foreground. Whilst the background detail is a million miles above that seen in Jones' classic work, the ICE AGE team have succeeded in making the foreground so visually appealing that you'll hardly notice anything else. But you should, as some of the background scenery, particularly in long shot POV, is breathtaking.

But it's the animation on the main characters that you've paid to see and it doesn't disappoint – little things, like the attention paid to Manfred's eyes, the lone source of all of his emotion and feelings, are handled with the utmost in care and detail. Likewise Diego's smooth, graceful yet twitchy mannerisms beat that seen of the big cats in Disney's THE LION KING. Sid, of the three main leads, steals the show with his endless repartee and exaggerated goofiness, and that's mostly thanks to Leguizamo, who clearly had a blast with the character.

The movie is somewhat predictable, but don't let that spoil your enjoyment. It's enormous fun. As I said, I came in expecting little ‘cause of the poor trailer but had a blast. Which is a very good sign.

To conclude, this falls just short of the overall quality of TOY STORY or TOY STORY 2 but is miles better than any Disney film post THE LION KING. If you have kids, this is highly recommended, but also give it a look yourself. And the DVD is a must buy if you have already seen and enjoyed the film.

Rating: **** (out of five)

DVD Review: So much! Hours and hours of extra animated clips, deleted scenes, behind the scenes, commentaries, etc. So much that you'd do well to buy this DVD if you had an interest in getting into computer animation – it's that thorough, and they provide that much background detail. Highly recommended.

DVD: ***** (out of five)

When you break it down and look at it both honestly and cynically (assuming that that is possible for a minute), there are really only two kinds of war movie: pro and con. The underlying theme of virtually every war movie - particularly since APOCALYPSE NOW - generally comes down to an analysis of the 'value' of war, of its worth. It's pointlessness, or its need. Is the action of battle warranted because of the attempt to find peace, or is war never justifiable, no matter what the intention?

Pro or con?

What is interesting is that since the Second World War, this underlying message that is found in nearly all war pictures has slowly changed from the former to the latter. This again is generally shaped in two ways. Either we see the play-by-play results following the issuance of what appears to be a bizarre and foolhardy set of orders from high command (i.e., APOCALYPSE NOW or SAVING PRIVATE RYAN). Or we get a glimpse of being right in the action as it all falls apart: hearing the bullets whizzing past our noses, reeling from the impact of RPG's and gazing blankly as the bodies begin to mount (PLATOON, say). BLACK HAWK DOWN, directed by Ridley Scott and accurately following the true story of the best-selling book by Mark Bowden, very much adopts the latter perspective.

On October 3, 1993, a small unit of U.S. Army Rangers and Delta Force troops were dropped by helicopter into hostile territory in Mogadishu, Somalia, with what is perceived to be a straightforward mission: the capture of two lieutenants of the Somali warlord, General Aidid. The unit is under command from Major William Garrison (Sam Shepard), and headed by Staff Sergeant Matt Eversmann (Josh Hartnett) in his first direct experience of frontline leadership. He also has a personal goal - to ensure everyone comes back alive.

Yet, these things are never as easy as they appear - hence the development of the book and the film - and when 18-year old frontline rookie Todd Blackbird is injured early on, the entire mission begins to fall apart. More U.S. troops are injured, and when Somalis down two Black Hawk helicopters, the mission changes completely: it's now a rescue operation.

And for about ninety minutes, you are subjected to some of the most intense, disturbing, graphic, violent and chilling pieces of conflict representation that you will ever see. Remember the Omaha Beach scene in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN? That was about half an hour long. Think of something three times that length, yet more 'realistic' and with (thankfully) no flag-waving. That is the gist of BLACK HAWK DOWN.

Ultimately, one hundred-and-twenty-three U.S. troops were involved in the Mogadishu conflict. Nineteen were killed, and one thousand Somalis also perished.

Unlike RYAN, BLACK HAWK DOWN doesn't build up a core group of characters, focusing on their emotional makeup and depth. No. Instead, we barely know our 'heroes', with very little time devoted to each characters motivation or purpose. And this is a good thing. At first, you find yourself a little bewildered by the sizeable cast, and this isn't helped by the many distant POV scenes that found this reviewer wondering just who he was seeing living and dying. But surely that is an important and crucial element of war - you're involved in these suicidal missions with men you barely know. You don't have time to share your life-stories. You may have only met that week, that day, or within the last hour. And then it's full on.

We get snippets of character data: Eversmann's entire focus is on not letting the team down; Specialist Danny Grimes (Ewan McGregor), for so long tied to his desk simply because he excelled at typing; and Delta Sergeant 'Hoot' Hooten (Tom Sizemore, soon to be playing Bruce Banner in THE HULK), wise despite his years, somehow making more sense of the nonsense than anyone else.

But any characterisation is underplayed and to the point, which is how it should be. The fresh-facedness and naivety of the troops is key to the success of the film, and of the emotional impact therein. As the errors and bodies mount, we get to see the horror of the conflict - the carnage and devastation, relentlessness and never-ending waves of Somali forces - directly through the eyes of the U.S. Rangers and Delta Force squad. I was somewhat stunned by the impact of the movie, both in the way the action grips you and shakes you violently until you want to let go, and in the occasional and very touching soft moments. Indeed, the action is so intense that I found myself at times glazing over, thinking of something else, and with hindsight I put this down to some kind of need for an emotional release; certainly, I cannot fault the film in that sense. It was simply a case of 'too much.'

Throughout the movie both the acting and direction are superb; Ridley Scott has an eye for detail and filmography that is probably unmatched. Even his lesser efforts like HANNIBAL are beautifully shot. And BLACK HAWK DOWN is one of his best efforts to date.

The musical score is also superb, and I was encouraged to hear the Stone Temple Pilot's CREEP near the beginning of the flick. I believe this is the first time I have heard a STP song in any movie.

What is also very welcome is the lack of U.S. nationalism in this picture. Of America saving the day. Unlike, say, brother Tony Scott's TOP GUN - which yes, was making a different point entirely (i.e., let's make some money and recruit some boys to the Navy at the same time) - this isn't about the might of the U.S. There is no wake-leaving in BLACK HAWK DOWN. Real people made mistakes, and real people died.

Speaking of Tony Scott, however, my only minor quibble was Sam Shepard's performance. He was probably in the wrong movie, as all his mannerisms (especially the way he took off his sunglasses in that quick-draw kind of way that stereotypical military types always seem to do) appeared to me to come straight out of TOP GUN. He was a little too 'bleh' for my tastes. For all I know William Garrison could have been exactly like that, but it still seemed a little Hollywood.

I also wasn't completely comfortable as to how the Somalis were portrayed; this movie wasn't really about good versus bad in my opinion, but on the face of it the U.S. are the bad guys here. At least inasmuch as they were at fault. Comparisons are made with Vietnam both in the unnecessary involvement of the U.S. in the Somali civil war, and in the end credits of the film where we learn that the Medal of Honour was awarded to two U.S. soldiers for the first time since the Vietnam conflict. Yet, throughout the film the Somali are seen in only two ways - either a relentless force of bloodthirsty killers, or a simple people trying to stay out of the way. Now yes, this may be what it really was like - I cannot say because I wasn't there - but the overall message didn't fit well with me. They seemed too one-dimensional, a bit TOO bloodthirsty, and that left a bitter taste.

Also as mentioned above the film is often confusing during the extended battle scene, and warrants more than one view. As the blood and dirt begins to pile, you will find yourself wondering who you are looking at, particularly when the perspective is on several soldiers from a distance. But that can be forgiven. This isn't PREDATOR, and while that film is outstanding as a piece of science fiction, it made a great effort to separate the marines so that the viewer would have an easy time following each one.

That, of course, isn't real life, and BLACK HAWK DOWN is, perhaps, as close as we've come yet to an accurate capture of the true feel of war.

Rating: **** 1/2 (out of five)

Okay… I should probably preface this review by saying that THE ONE is the first Jet Li film I have ever seen. I realise Jet Li is now a pretty major international star, certainly in the martial arts world, but even today his movies are firmly rooted on Sky Moviemax, not daring to make the leap to Premier, and, perhaps somewhat snootily, this put me off for the past couple of years. I do recall when ROMEO MUST DIE was being trailered and a close friend of mine was insisting that this movie was going to be the best thing ever that I did consider going to see a Jet Li movie; however, when the trailer for CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON was unveiled, I quickly forget about Jet Li and have managed to avoid him ever since.

Hence, I came into THE ONE without any real idea of what to expect. Sure, I wasn't totally ignorant of Mr Li and his abilities; I had caught an interesting show entitled MODERN WARRIORS on Discovery which looked at the history of martial arts throughout the ages, and Li was featured within. So, I had a rough idea that, for all intents and purposes, and certainly in Asia, Jet Li was somewhat of `The Man', but to me appeared caught somewhere between Jean Claude Van Damme and Jackie Chan in the martial arts hierarchy. This unfortunate position wasn't assisted by the fact that aside from ROMEO MUST DIE I had never seen a Jet Li movie open at my local Odeon. Very much a straight to video man, a la Van Damme (who is now moving into that very bleak straight to budget video area.)

Phew. Okay, with that out of the way, on to the review. THE ONE is a heavily influenced martial arts / science fiction flick that offers no apologies for the derivative nature of the script (and set pieces), and instead offers a slam-bam-thank-you-Van-Damme non-stop action-fest that at least partly was filmed to show off the unquestionably impressive physical abilities of Jet Li.

In the opening narrative we are introduced to the concept of the Multiverse. In a nutshell, the premise is that there is not one universe, but many; multiple and infinite universes where anything and everything is possible. And, most importantly, within these universes there are an infinite number of versions of you. That is: in one universe, you might be a billionaire; in another, the opposite sex; in another still, dead, or perhaps a junkie, policeman, hermaphrodite or whatever. The point is that there are an infinite number of YOU out there. And not just you, obviously (you're not that special), but everyone else, too. For example, in one of the universes we see that Al Gore is president of the United States. In another, that George W. Bush has passed a ‘healthcare for all programme' into law (yeah, like THAT would ever happen.)

Now most people in the Multiverse are completely ignorant of it; that is, they are only aware of the existence of their own universe (and their limited knowledge therein, much like you and me within this one.) Hence, at one time, the Multiverse was seen as ‘perfectly balanced' – travel within universes was possible, but was illegal, and only an elite police agency, the MultiVerse Agency (MVA), were allowed to do so – but this has now been threatened by the actions of Gabriel Yulaw (played by Jet Li.)

Yulaw is a former MVA officer who, in the line of duty, encountered and accidentally killed ‘himself' in another universe in an act of self-defence. Subsequently, and unknown to both Yulaw and everyone else in the MVA, this act – the removal of one of his ‘selves' – saw the life energy from the dead man transfer across to Yulaw, making him stronger, faster and more intelligent. In short, he absorbed the other man's energy. At the same time, all the other ‘versions' of Yulaw throughout the multiverse also became stronger, faster and more intelligent; each living man received a share of the dead man's life force.

When Yulaw realises what happens, he becomes power hungry, and decides that he wants to become THE ONE – that is, the only version of himself in the Multiverse. Nobody, not even the MVA, know what would happen if there was only one version of Yulaw left in the Multiverse; some say he would implode, others that the Multiverse would explode. Others still suggest that Yulaw would become a living God, and this is what he wants and believes. (And you must admit, it would be tempting.)

We catch up with the plot to discover that Yulaw has killed 122 versions of himself, and is now targeting version number 123 – a rather unsavoury figure called Lawless (also played by Jet Li, as is every other version of Yulaw in the movie. One of the great scenes in the DVD, which I will get to later, is a short documentary piece about how they created and filmed all the different versions of the Yulaw character.) In this universe, Lawless is a prisoner, and by all accounts a junkie. The MVA are on Yulaw's case, however, and move to insure that Lawless is not killed. Heading the MVA team are agents Roedecker (Delroy Lindo) and Funsch (Jason Statham). Roedecker is the play-it-by-the-book cop, who outranks Funsch, and has to continuously keep him in check. Funsch, meanwhile, is a bit of a rogue, and wants nothing more than to kill Yulaw. Both Roedecker and the MVA know this is not wise, however, as we are told that there are only two Yulaw's left in the Multiverse! Subsequently, if one of them dies, the other could potentially become all-powerful, or worse, end life as we know it.

(I had a real problem with this plot development; either I missed something, or it was never explained why there were only 125 versions of Yulaw. The ‘infinite possibilities' spiel that was offered to us on several occasions in the movie falls flat on its face if there are only 125 universes within the Multiverse. With only 125 versions of me, there's a healthy chance that I wouldn't be all that different from person to person, and certainly not to any level of extremity.)

The lower-level MVA cops look to move Lawless to a secure area, but are quickly dispatched by the arrival of Yulaw, who kills Lawless without much effort. Here we witness the real power of Yulaw (and the excellent movie SFX) – we can see that he is incredibly strong and fast, that he moves at a speed that makes the MVA agents look and act slowly in comparison, and there are some neat fight scenes that show off video game type moves (I was made to think of KILLER INSTINCT in particular.) The agents can do little against Yulaw, and those that aren't killed or felled are quickly passed as Yulaw sprints away at speeds of up to fifty miles per hour!

It's only when Roedecker and Funsch arrive that Yulaw is apprehended, but only after some effort. Yulaw is taken back to the MVA headquarters (in another universe), via the most painful and violent time travel portal you have ever seen, and is sentenced to life imprisonment in the Hades universe. Once again he escapes, however, assisted by his girlfriend Massie (played by SPIN CITY's Carla Gugino.) It's a bit of a no-brainer where he is going, however, and Roedecker and Funsch trace and follow him to our universe, it being the location of the remaining and only living ‘Yulaw' version – Gabe Law.

Gabe is the good guy in the movie, and in our universe, he's a cop (just a regular one.) While he has no idea about the existence of the Multiverse or Yulaw, as his namesake has been methodically working through his kills, Gabe has seen the benefits, and both he and his wife, T.K. (played again by Carla Gugino) have seen Gabe grow stronger, faster and smarter. `People get older, they don't get stronger,' T.K. informs Gabe. And she's right. But there you go.

Things become a lot less clear, and then infinitely more so, when Yulaw arrives and tries to kill our Gabe. At first, Gabe, T.K. and all of his cop buddies think he might be going a little off the rails, particularly when he announces that the killer they are looking for is actually… himself! His statement isn't exactly assisted by security footage of Yulaw – who obviously looks exactly like Gabe – attacking and killing police offers and staff at a hospital.

Once again, Roedecker and Funsch arrive, and manage to prevent Yulaw doing what he does best, but only temporarily. Yulaw quickly finishes off Roedecker, and also about half of the town's police force, using, amongst other things, a pair of Kawasaki motorcycles as batons (which is a really amazing bit of SFX and one of the most original martial arts scenes I've ever witnessed.) Funsch tracks down Gabe, and slowly convinces him of who Yulaw is, who Gabe is, and the consequences of Yulaw's actions. Gabe doesn't want any part of it at first, but when Yulaw kills his missus, he quickly adjusts his priorities. As he comes to terms with the death of T.K. (`She was my centre… she made me whole…' is a particularly trite example of the dodgy dialogue during any romantic parts of this movie.) and his super-abilities, he and Funsch decide to track down Yulaw and kill him, even though Gabe realises that, should they succeed, he must die too (else he'll implode, the Multiverse will end, McDonald's will run out of quarter-pounders etc etc.)

So, now we have what the film has been building towards – the inevitable showdown between Yulaw and Gabe Law. It's Jet Li vs. Jet Li folks, and they ain't taking any prisoners.

I'm not going to give away anything else here; I'm sure you can work out where the film is going, but I won't spoil it for you apart from saying that the closing fight scene is possibly one of the greatest ever staged, and that the actual ending of the film is really, really cool (it's one of those scenes you've wanted to see for years and years.)

Throughout the movie, both the battles and SFX are outstanding, and I would put this up there with THE MATRIX – to which THE ONE unapologetically owes a bit debt – in terms of the wow-factor. I really believe that in this film they've taken wire and blue screen usage in martial arts films to the next level, and while, as I said, there is an element of a ‘showcase' here for Jet Li's talents, that isn't necessarily a bad thing when you're as good as he is. There are also strong elements of THE HIGHLANDER in here, particularly in the entire THE ONE thread (at one point in the film Yulaw even utters, `There can be only one!' which I am hoping was a nod towards THE HIGHLANDER rather than an out and out steal.) Having said that, there are parts of this film that surpasses anything seen in either of these films, and in particular the fighting methodology and delivery is many levels above that seen in THE MATRIX.

It certainly was not flawless, though; the dialogue throughout was questionable, particularly, as I said, in any romantic scenes between Li and Gugino, and even though Li has made leaps and bounds with his English since LETHAL WEAPON 4 (when apparently he couldn't speak even one word) it's obvious that the script has been written so not to stretch him too much. This isn't his fault per se, but it does mean that the dialogue is a bit, let's say, restricted at times. It's rumoured that Li studies English for four hours a day, so hopefully that will turn around soon.

And as I mentioned there were some elements of the plot that were glazed over a little too much for my liking, particularly those relating to the concept of the Multiverse. I also didn't like how Gabe Law ‘suddenly' became super powerful – I guess they were again taking a little from THE MATRIX with Gabe suddenly ‘getting it', but it was a little too rushed for my liking. Indeed, the film would have benefited from another 30-45 minutes of background and pacing; I would have liked to have seen some more history of the two main characters.

Overall, though, I was very impressed, and the film kept me glued for the full eighty-five or so minutes. I'll be making a beeline for other Jet Li films now – I've heard that FIST OF LEGEND, THE LEGEND and some of his other Hong Kong films are outstanding – and who knows, I might even give ‘em a bash on Sky Moviemax. And that would be a first.

RATING: 8/10