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matthew-farrugia88
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The Maltese Holiday (2021)
The Anti-Ad For Malta
The fact that this movie was made is suspect. It stinks of being a tax write-off or an 80 minute paid ad to go visit the Maltese islands. Except that the movie essentially consists of interior shots of a NYC hotel, generic drone clips of the Maltese coast with sputterings of stock footage- at one point we see stock footage of a French airport (???). No idea what the point of basing the plot in Malta was, probably just sponsored as an ad, except that if I were a tourist I'd be put off visiting this place. It's cynical, lazy, cringe worthy and an insult to anyone who watches it. Also, the Maltese people are not Maltese. Talk about cultural appropriation. Il-Milied it-tajjeb.
Genesis (2001)
The Genesis of Good Maltese Film-making
It is simple really: this is the best Maltese film to date. Alas, it is not for everyone it is true. In terms of plot, nothing much happens - and yet that gives Genesis the freedom to explore characters.
Filmed in black and white (giving the poor digital quality a bit more flare), it is an exploration of man and what man is basically. If you liked "The Dreamers" then you would probably enjoy this, even though it is not as heavy overall.
A story that makes you think, with a few surprisingly not-bad performances. The star here is obviously Scicluna and his beautiful cinematography. Of course, it is full of confusing points, but that I guess, may be part of its charm.
The tragedy in all this is the fact that this "film of Maltese cultural importance" is not available to the general public when such fermented garbage as Qerq is. I urge everyone to see it; an realistic view of man, the relationship between man and man and also man and God.
This film is the genesis of the good Maltese film.
Qerq (2007)
Qerq: the First Tragedy/Comedy Ever?
I believe it was Shakespeare who first said that "there is nothing new under the sun". Well Mr.Sharkespeare, you haven't watched Qerq. It is the first feature film to successfully fuse a tragedy with a comedy, and best of all, it's unintentional!
I cannot say it's good because it's more flawed than Christian fundamentalism. I cannot say it's bad because it is genuinely entertaining. Honestly, it is tragic in its being pure fermented garbage, but in being so it is also very entertaining. I didn't stop laughing from the very first scene until the end of the credits.
I know I give the impression that Malta produces a lot of mediocre "art", but this... this is beyond mediocre, or rather, well below it. When I say garbage I really mean garbage. It is the obese fat woman in a mini-skirt you can't help but stare at. From the blatantly (and funny) advert-style obvious product-placement (We all know Montebello sells cars now) to the unbelievable characters with no sense of continuity or realism to the clichéd plot and the plot-explaining dialog, it is just... amazing.
If Qerq were realistic, a conversation would sound like this:
"Hello, Matt. How is your day today? I personally enjoy the birds singing in the sky which is blue above us"
"Why yes, John. I too enjoy the birds which are singing above us in the blue sky which we see above us. I like Mack Reynolds whiskey very much, John."
"I know, Matt. Mack Reynolds is relaxing, much like the blue sky and the birds singing in the blue sky... Matt"
"Hey, Matt, this is total bs. We sound like we should commit suicide, don't you think?"
"I do agree, John. But first, we should tell everyone the story so far, just in case they went into a coma and missed something."
The plot is easy to understand, not because it is well written, but because the characters tell it in its entirety around 20 times each. They have a fixation on calling each other by their first name, and if they have a motive, they'll repeat around 147,981 times so we don't miss out on any of their immense depth.
Acting... acting is the sort of "spoofy" acting, except this is meant to be serious. Mr.Cushcieri (self-proclaimed Director and "writer") said that he wanted to make people cry. He did make me cry... with laughter.
Take the character of the drug baron. He cares about his family. He does everything to make them happy, and yet he sees no problem in zipping the dead body of his infant daughter in a sports bag and switching the dead baby with another baby in the hospital. Also, how can the baby not be recognized if the baby he switched it with was a twin of another baby?
Confused? You have no bloody idea how confusing this movie is. Fortunately for us, it's repeated around 349 times in the brilliant dialogs.
Directing consists of moving the camera. Period. He moves it around (ignoring reflections of the cameraman) and sucks his own penis thinking how great he is for actually moving it around - probably a first in the tragedy/comedy genre.
The music is over-dramatic and completely not in tune with the "emotions" of the scenes. If it is, there's too much of it. There's barely a scene without the shitty synthesized sounds in them.
A hint of moral fascism is detected at the end with one of the twins accusing that the baron "kills" the young by selling drugs. He must probably force-feed the cocaine down the youth's throats, no wait, he SELLS it to them. They take it because they WANT TO. So technically, they kill themselves. A bit of social commentary is found when a criminal (who, by chance is robbing the bank of the drug baron [????????]) accuses the baron-philanthropist of being the true criminal and a hypocrite.
After this heartfelt accusation he proceeds to take the cocaine and sell it. Wow.
Regardless of all this, I am honest in saying this is a MUST-SEE. It's the worst movie of all time, and I mean that. It's not because it's Maltese, it's because it's just bad.
The opening credits are nifty, though.
Overall I'd give it an 0.0001 out of 10, but it's still one of the movies you have to watch before you die. To see this movie will make Fast and Furious 3 seem as The Godfather. Can't wait for the DVD, I'm definitely going to buy and cry with laughter.
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