Reviews

As stated in the above summary, this Z-grade slasher dud has very little to offer but it's from Troma so what do you expect? The story starts when a transvestite checks into a rural hotel that specializes in servicing newlywed couples and tries to seduce the owner of the establishment. When the man realizes that he is kissing a cross dressing dude instead of a chick he offs the bottom boy. Of course the evil tranny comes back from the dead in zombie form to seek revenge. Notable characters in the movie include a funny drunk pastor, the smokin' hot wife of the hotel owner, and a weed smoking punk rock couple. The effects are extremely cheap, the zombie costume is pretty lame, and the kills are nothing to brag about. That being said there is some blood, a couple boobie scenes (yes the boobs are on females!) and a decapitation that was OK. Being a big fan of cheesy low budget horror myself i would have been content fast-forwarding to the one rather long shower scene that shows a killer rack because that's really the only part of the film that stood out. If bottom of the barrel violent horror garbage is your thing then i would recommend watching DOOM ASYLUM or one of Tim Ritter's films instead of this.

This is a pretty well known one so i won't get too deep into it. The basic story is about two teens who find out about a slimy alien blob of goo that arrives to earth via meteor. Human contact with this slime ball burns through flesh like acid. It also absorbs human bodies making it grow bigger. Nobody believes the teens (Steeve McQueen and his girlfriend) and when they finally do it seems that the blob can't be stopped. It's really well done for it's age and unlike a lot of other 50's flicks the pace is pretty fast. The story is very unique making it and a must see for any fan of old sci-fi and monster movies. If you can dig the gooey gore of 80s horror be sure to check out the remake from '88 as well.

This is quite the movie. It's a total rip off of KING KONG only it's done Asian style like the old GODZILLA movies so you know it's gonna be super cheesy. Basically some dudes set out to capture this giant ape man and must take a dangerous mission through the jungle. They encounter lots of deadly wild animals along the way and a bunch of em get killed. There's actually a couple relatively good deaths. Eventually the main dude is on his own and finds a hot retarded chick who is good homies with the mighty Xing Xing Wang. Anyway despite monkey man helping homeboy out and the dude getting to hook up with the hot wild woman he and his "partners" end up doing what they set up to do and capture the monkey. Of course this pisses off Xing Xing Wang and tons of destruction follows. I don't usually bother with most PG rated movies but this one's pretty damn funny and it's got plenty of cheesy action. It's too bad we don't get to see the main chick naked. At least she's dressed pretty skimpy. So if you like GODZILLA style monster movies or have kids it's worth a look you'll definitely get some laughs out of it.

Usually I would avoid most anything (unless it's really old) with a PG rating; especially a horror movie. But i figured since it's a horror-comedy and the fact that most Troma movies from the 80's are pretty rad i'd give it a try. I'm glad i did, i mean there's no gore what so ever but there was a really cool looking monster. The monster lives in people's closets if you couldn't tell from the title. The beast can't seem to be stopped from killing people even from the military and there's the basic plot. Aside from the cool monster effects it also managed to provide some laughs. Oh and we do get a couple of brief nipple shots of a hottie with rather volumptuous breasts; but it's kind of a tease. If this monster movie parody was rated R it would definitely be a classic. Nothing too marvelous but it would be a nice way to introduce your kids to the pleasures of cheesy 80's horror without showing them anything too graphic.

It's no NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET but i definitely dig Wes Craven's movie take on the 70's comic book SWAMP THING. Sure it's a little slow at times and has a little more plot than i usually prefer but for a PG rated sci-fi movie it rocks! The setting provides a very believable swamp atmosphere, the creature effects are rad, and we even get to see some angry titties! I never woulda guessed that annoying "Billy" chick from CREEPSHOW could be so damn hot! Throw in some good action (which includes a mild dismemberment scene and a super gnarly sword duel between two monsters) and some killer mutation scenes and you ain't gonna catch me complaining! Given a faster pace and this would of easily receive a higher rating.

This is the ultimate cult classic! The plot takes place in the near future where the government keeps it's citizens pacified by providing them a deadly sport similar to the one in THE RUNNING MAN. The difference is that this sport is a deathrace. Four or fives driver race their flamboyant death cars across the country killing everyone they can along the way. Each death scores the driver points. Some of the death scenes are pretty graphic for '75 and it's got all the great elements you could wish for in a exploitation movie: blood, Nazis, nudity, explosions, etc. The pace is fast and we even get to see Sly Stallone punch a chick in the face! I can't recommend this one enough. Track it down immediately!

This is a great Werewolf movie. The plot is basically about a news reporter chick who gets assaulted in a porno shop which causes her to black out and have weird visions. She's so tripped out by the incident that her psychiatrist sends her to a loony camp out in the boonies. Shortly after going to the camp a bunch of cool werewolf sh*t happens. That's all i'm gonna say about the plot. What i will say is that this movie has some killer special effects and gore. It's also got some really nice nudity! Major bonus! Sure it takes a long time to build up but once it does its well worth it. It also has a great atmosphere. I haven't seen the sequels yet but the first HOWLING is a great movie. The director went on to make TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE and GREMLINS (two other great movies). Anyway if you dig werewolves this is a must see as well as American Werewolf In London.

Being a big fan of dated horror movies i found this low budget holiday horror to be quite entertaining. It starts off with a kid watching his mom getting (mildly) jiggy with ol Saint Nick which totally trips him out. 40 years later he's a total loser on a full on Christmas trip. He watches kids to see if they've been naughty or nice, makes a list, checks it twice, and goes totally crazy. Dressed as Santa he brings presents to nice kids and kills a bunch of people who aren't so nice. There's a couple rad kills but most of the movie a pretty tame. It's definitely not as good as SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT but it is pretty funny watchin homeboy flip his wig. It also can be a little boring at times but it's got a really cool (extremely cheesy) ending that i was definitely not expecting. All in all it's a decent piece of crud that lacks in violence. Definitely check out SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT before this one. You also might want to give the much more gruesome MANIC a look.

While this sequel to the mighty CREEPSHOW definitely lacks compared to the original (as many sequels do) it still provides a lot of fun! It delivers some decent gore, a little female nudity, and even more of that cool animation than the original. This time there are only three terror tales and there's not as much cool special effects. The Creep in CREEPSHOW 2 looks more like the old skool Crypt Keeper from the comics is not near as cool looking as the original skeleton with skin Creep of the original movie but oh well. Luckily there is still a strong comic book feel like in the first movie which which i totally dig. The first story (the lame one) involves a wooden statue of an Indian, i'm so scared! But don't worry the other two are rad; especially the last one! The second story involves partyin teenagers and deadly slime which is always good in my book. the third is about a hitchhiker and even if you hate the rest of the movie this one is a must see for any horror fan. "The Hitcher" is not only super funny but is also pretty damn freaky. Then to top it off there's a great cartoon ending which wins major points for the flick. All in all it's a great little 80s horror flick just don't expect it to be as cool as the original masterpiece.

This movie totally rocks! it takes everything that's great about CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON and adds a lot more nudity, a lot more gore and a lot more monsters...can't go wrong with that! It's basically about a bunch of mutant rapist monsters who come from the water to wreak havoc on a small Northwestern town. The pacing is plenty fast, what a relief! (Way too many horror movies with great potential blow it with slow pacing.) the monsters look great too! they got the whole wet water creature look only with big exposed brains similar to the aliens in THIS ISLAND EARTH. best of all the ending is super rad! bottom line this movie is killer! i can't recommend this one enough! Mad props go out to Roger Corman. if you like movies like THE DEADLY SPAWN check this baby out

If crappy, dated, unrealistic horror flicks aren't your cup o'tea then forget it but if you like late 70's early 80's trash horror then i'd say NEW YEAR'S EVIL is definitely worth a look. The sweet beginning of the film mislead me to expect this to be one of those great outlaw punker movies perhaps like CLASS OF 1984 with a horror twist. This would have been a dream come true...and while unfortunately this was not the case i gotta say any movie with rebellious punk rock sluts flashing their boobies for the sole reason of being offensive is worth any other lameness it could possibly put me through. So anyway what we get instead is a decent yet cheesy slasher where some nutzo calls the host of a hilariously ridiculous new wave concert to inform her that he plans on killing at midnight(not just one murder but one at midnight for each timezone). On the low end this movie isn't all that gory but it's definitely entertaining and it's got some pretty good twists. I especially loved the biker gang scene (always a plus when you're talking bad exploitation flix). Oh yeah don't be fooled by the movie description claiming the movie has much to do with punk rock...its almost total new wave but i'll settle for some 80s new wave any day over today's lame trends...so anyway i dug this movie which means you'll probably hate it

This movie would would be totally lame and would never receive a 9 star rating if it didn't have such rad gore. sure it's nowhere near as sweet as EVIL DEAD but what is? plus what do you expect from the French? Italy can often make up for it's lame attempts at ripping off American films by offering lots and lots of gore but i've never heard of the French doing the same. anyway that's what happened with EVIL CLUTCH... the movie itself totally sucks but there the gore is so rad that it doesn't matter. basically if you love gore and can get past the goofy French accents then this baby is not to be missed; but if you're looking for a well thought out original plot than run for it. hey it's got cool zombies and lots of splatter and that always rates good in my book.

This movie is great! Lots of rad 80's/early 90s style special effects which means lots of gore and sweet mutation scenes! Excellent! The plot is basically about a super violent alien who is banished from his home planet and is sent to earth in the form of a human. The difference between him and a normal human is that he can rip people's heads off to replace his own which allows him to take their form. That being said you know there's gonna be plenty of decapitation action! Imagine THE HIDDEN (also a super rad movie) with less fast cars and more blood and slime. If that's not a killer plot i don't know what is. there is also a couple bare boobs in the mix too. Another plus is that the movie doesn't take itself too seriously. definitely a must for splatter fiends or anybody who digs campy horror!

This is a nice little b-movie from the glorious 80's that really made me laugh. The thing i enjoyed the most of course would be the awesomely slimy low budget special effects! Those, although cheap, were often really killer! The movie's about a mad doctor who brainwashes people subliminally through his television show into being what he calls "Independent Thinkers" which are really helpless pawns in his nutty plot to take take over the planet via mind control. (They should have included that Suicidal Tendencies' song "Subliminal" in the soundtrack, oh well) Anyway somewhere tied into this cool plot is a giant slimy killer brain from outer space. Sounds cool huh? Well it is so check it out if you dig cheesy creature fx from the 80's. There's also a couple scenes with boobies which is always a plus. The funniest part is a certain attack where the brain looks like a giant scrotum devouring a human being...if that don't sound rad to you then don't waste your time with this or any of my other reviews cuz we definitely got different taste but otherwise this isn't to be missed!

The cover of this little stinker has a bunch of punkers (none of which are in the film) so i went into it expecting a punk rock style exploitation flick from the late 80's and instead discovered the funniest ROAD WARRIOR rip off ever! It's one of the tons of Italian knock offs of the early 80's so you know it's gonna be cheesy but this one is just ridiculous! Ultra cheap with plenty of action/violence and enough funny gore to satisfy any fan of 80s b-rated sleaze. Not to mention a ridiculous soundtrack! The only thing that's missing is some boobies. Not that there's no sex just not anything arousing in any way. Of course it takes place in the post apocalyptic future where a gang of ridiculously costumed barbarian types called the Templars set out to destroy the few humans left as punishment for the crime of being born. Cool enough plot for me! Basically this movie is pure shite but it's funny as hell especially when watched with chicks or people who are not fans of crappy movies. Trust me, seeing the expression on their face during the Templars initiation sense will make hunting this baby down well worth the hunt!

This is one of the greatest if not the greatest monster movie from its era. I have watched this one plenty of times throughout my life and recently was finally lucky enough to see it in its original 3-D format...well sorta; it was being shown outside in a park and unfortunately me a couple buddies stepped out to grab a sixer and as a result were only able to score one pair of 3-D glasses between the three of us. So i had to switch off between glorious in your face action and distorted but watchable scenes. Anyway this movie rocks either way but its the ultimate in 3D. Its a shame more people aren't lucky enough to view this classic the way it was meant to be seen. Either way its still a mandatory for any monster fans especially if you like the oldies. Its got a fast pace and the coolest looking monster ever! The Creature himself is a true pimp as well and digs checkin out chicks swimming in their bathing suits and even tries to swoop a girly up for himself. And believe it or not his rubber skin is still more effective over sixty years later than any of today's lame CGI effects. Basically if you're into anything from the original MUMMY movies to HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP you gotta see this! especially if you get a chance to peep the 3D version

This is a great school outta control flick from the glorious 80's that's right along the lines of SAVAGE STREETS and CLASS OF 1984. it's got all the necessary goods that those type of flicks require to kick ass: plenty of violence, criminal punks, and even some nudity. i'd much rather see a gang movie with the gangsters rockin studs and chains than todays b-rated fake ass rapper bling bling movies. being a punk rocker myself i was stoked to see one of the kids had the Misfits skull on the back of his jacket. one of the girlies has a Motorhead shirt too! Anyway it's got the typical plot (kinda like CLASS OF 1999 minus the killer cyborgs) where gangs and crime rule the streets and the schools and one of the gang members wants out causing a war with his gang. sure it's way cheesy but that's whats so fun about it. Highly recommended along with CLASS OF 1984, SAVAGE STREETS, CLASS OF 1999, and maybe even SUBURBIA(the one from 1983 of course)

This is a totally fun cheezefest from the dude who brought us the much lamer CREEPAZOIDS. So some kids break into a bowling alley to steal a trophy as part of a sorority initiation. Unfortunately for them (and luckily for us) they accidentally a release a mischievous little imp and all hell breaks loose. The imp is hilarious! he's got a voice that sounds like a cross between Barry White and a pimp. Everything that comes out of his mouth is hella funny. Anyway enough of the plot, all you need to know is that this movie is way crucial to any 80's horror/b-movie lovers. it's got really cheesy special effects (we're talking TRICK OR TREAT territory here!), it delivers lots of laughs, and its got some nice nudity. Another major bonus is that its got scream queen Linea Quigley (you know the super hot naked punker slut from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD) who is once again playing a hot rebellious punk babe. Unfortunately she doesn't get naked in this one but she's still rad. I think it's also got the fat pig punk rocker from NIGHT OF THE DEMONS. Anyway the only other thing missing is gore, otherwise it would have received a solid 10. Bottom line this is not to be missed!

You're probably wondering how the hell a third sequel of a cult classic claiming to be the fourth could be better than it's predecessors, especially considering that those two were directed by gore master Lucio Fulci and this one is not! I must admit i'm totally surprised myself but i think i actually enjoyed this one the most of the three. It's directed by the writer of ZOMBI 3 and has a lot of the elements that in my opinion made that one surpass ZOMBI 2: the fast pace, lots of violent action, and an even better 80's soundtrack than ZOMBI 3! The gore is top notch as usual even without Fulci, and there's plenty of it! The plot has nothing to do with ZOMBI 3 but instead goes back to a much cheesier take on ZOMBI 2's voodoo plot and takes place in the jungle. This time the zombies are for the most part dressed in black hooded cloaks and drool lots of black slime. By the way did anybody else see a resemblance between this movie's Viet Nam vet character and the head bum from STREET TRASH (one of my other favs) who also happens to be a Nam vet? Anyway this is one of my new favs. A must see for gore hounds and zombie fans alike.

MOTHER'S DAY is a ridiculously cheesy piece of exploitation trash. After the first awesome death scene i expected it to be great and full of gore but as it turns out there is only a couple gory scenes. While this is most unfortunate the movie is still funny enough to justify a viewing, especially for fans of 80's exploitation horror garbage like myself. All other's should probably avoid this along with most other Troma movies. There's also a little bit of nudity but only the sleazy rapist kind. Basically if you're into the whole deranged family thing with a major dose of cheese then it's worth a look; especially for the totally hilarious ending. For this type of movie it ranks above REDNECK ZOMBIES and probably a little below Texas CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2

I knew this one would be total garbage but it's cover is so hilarious i had to get it. I'm actually glad I did. while this sleazy cheapo is so far from being good it was actually kinda fun for laughs over a few cold ones. Actually to be honest this one about killed a whole case of brew. The beginning actually started off excellent with some really psychotic scenes of attempted mackin, a really funny flash back, and even some messed up nudity. There was also an insanely hilarious country tune. If that type of stuff would have kept up this could have easily earned an eight star rating. unfortunately it gets pretty boring quick. I was starting to get pretty burnt out on it but the madness picks back up towards the end with nudity, the sleaziest dance scene i've ever seen, and a funny ending. Recommended for fans of total 70's z-grade trash only! If you wanna watch a good piece of trash about a deranged psycho i'd definitely recommend MANIAC before this one.

Although it's not as creepy as it's cult classic predecessor (ZOMBI 2) I actually like this one better. This is because of it's faster pace, better settings, and cool 80's soundtrack. It's loaded with action and has sweet gore effects by Lucio Fulci. The zombies don't quite look as nasty as in ZOMBI 2 but they still look good. It was made pretty well but it definitely has it's share of cheesiness; for instance some zombies move really slow while others are as quick as ninjas. some are braindead while others say funny lines, but who expects consistency when it comes to Italian horror? There's even a flying zombie head! How rad is that? Definitely a must see for gorehounds and zombie fans. it'd probably satisfy most fans of action movies as well. Also check out Zombi 4.

This infamous zombie flick (which is brought to us by the Italian master of gore Lucio Fulci) is about some supposed New Yorkers who travel to a remote island in search of some chick's pops. The island just happens to be infested with blood thirsty zombies. The pacing is slower than i would have liked but other than that it's a great gut muncher with some awesome gore, very nasty looking zombies (complete with worms in the eye sockets), and even some female nudity. There's a shark scene that's really unique and also a cool ending. (I hate when horror movies have lame endings) A definite must see for all zombie fans. If you dig this one be sure to check out ZOMBI 3 and GATES OF HELL which are both by Fulci. And also ZOMBIE 4 and the BURIAL GROUND.