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Reviews
Rise of the Footsoldier 3 (2017)
Eldorado...Pat Tate style!
Rise III puts Pat Tate against all odds as he escapes the dock with relative ease and heads to Marbella.
Pat needs to make money...he loves coke and pills...he needs that edge!
Craig Fairbrass sticks to Pat Tate like Marmite to Toast, you either love him or hate him.
What's not to love, he ends up causing too much 'agg!' for the likes of Larry Lamb (of Superman I and III fame), Billy Murray (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 1,2,3 fame) and Shaun Ryder (Shaun Ryder on UFO's on the History Channel) - he rocks the boat without a paddle!
He's got a friend in Tony Tucker who loves coke and loyal to Sam (Jamie Forman) but when a couple of toss-pots try to large it and go for Sam it all goes pure Pat! He ain't having none of it...he takes on anyone whilst serving time.
He lifts weights, takes on more coke whilst Billy Murray watches in his cell, then buzzes so hard he needs to pleasure the full on mini-Pat!
There's a lot going for it but needed Marcus Tandy in a cameo for that extra-added nostalgia to please the BBC boomer generation.
Pat Tate goes in hard, fast but wakes up like
a C( ) NT when he takes too much of the white stuff!
Is this Craig Fairbrass' best film....who knows? It's so high it's in orbit!
On Deadly Ground (1994)
Needed more Sven!
Why hire Sven Ole Thorsen only for him to take a beating....albeit too quickly.
It's hard to take this film seriously - it feels like on paper this could of been a decent thriller. Unfortunately by the time it hit production, budget and casting it became a Teddy Page film without the heart.
Seagal IS Forrest Taft. He wears tassles and is the 'go to guy' when oil runs amok. He stands in front of exploding bombs showcasing the grandeur of flames through a long lens and his libation is small spirits whilst smoking skinny menthols in rowdy bars whilst the odd drunken Inuit gets ridiculed and beaten. He does intervene when the bullies call him 'cup-cake', and music composer Basil Poldouris certainly let's the audience know about it!
Basically Taft doesn't give a toss, he'd urinate on animal fur for the money until Michael Caine's Michael Jennings blows him up. Seagal survives the explosion naturally and is rescued by wolves, who take him to the Chief of the Land to revive his spirit!
He becomes a superhero, wears big furs and listens to the eagles in the sky to guide him in a mission to destroy an oil rig to save nature.
Some interesting fight sequences and explosions follow and a slow motion run to safety that makes Chariots of Fire look like Benny Hill.
Seagal's Taft hires a municipality and fills it with extras and a projector to discuss the evils of global capitalism then prays with his beads as the eagle soars above.
Steven Seagal's eco message movie that does more for the polar ice caps then the COP26 summit!
Eternals (2021)
Eternals.....it's refreshingly different!
What a movie! Who gives a squids bottom what the keyboard 'critics' or 'movie polls/scores' suggest...this had a great cast and superb visuals based on an unusual comic book that has translated well onto the big screen.
At last we get to see the grand scale of the celestials, ominous and threatening and also a glimpse of the main characters who have lived many lives through the passage of time. Their hopes, ambitions, flaws makes for interesting developments in future instalments.
Probably one of the most tricky of marvel adaptations to pull off, the direction is faultless and certainly captures that epic scope with both its big operatic action sequences and more intimate scenes.
Only downsides was the deviant designs that are all too similar in modern science fiction fare but it's the grand celestial designers that more than make up for them.
It also works well as a separate entity of the other marvel films and carries its own weight with heroism and grandeur that certainly opens the portals to the bigger marvel universe that fully embraces the heroes and legends of old as well as the future cosmic ensembles yet to come.
I'm sure Jack Kirby will be puffing on his cosmic cigar with a wry smile.