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jackfoley
Reviews
Bastards (2003)
Pretentious garbage
Pointlessly shot in first person, this is an utter waste of film that for some reason has been appearing extremely regularly on Movie Central recently. The awful acting, mood-killing lighting, fade-happy editing and DOA script certainly do their best to pull the viewer completely out of this piece.
I was surprised to learn this film was directed by Mort Ransen, who was 70 years old at the time this film was made and directed the somewhat acclaimed "Margaret's Museum". The rampant self-indulgence in this film seems to suggest a young, inexperienced director trying to make a name for himself but the harsh reality is that it's an older, experienced director who somewhere along the line---probably around the time he said 'Okay, time to write Bastards'---forgot how to make a quality film.
So bad it's worth watching, but SO bad it's not worth watching for long.
The Art of Woo (2001)
More like The Art of Poo.
Some random comments about a film that doesn't deserve much thought:
*Adam Beach is an awful actor; If Graham Greene is the native Canadian Tommy Lee Jones, Beach is the native Canadian Paul Walker.
*Sook-Yin Lee was an annoying VJ on an annoying channel and now she's an annoying actress playing an annoying character.
*"Woo" typifies in a number of ways the stereotypically bad Canadian movie; flat cinematography, stock, naive characters, inane dialogue.
I'd rather insert a toolbox into my rectum than endure sitting through this again.
The Eternal Husband (1999)
Absolutely awful.
Caught this on Movie Central. One of the worst films I have ever seen. Gives Canadian cinema a bad name. This Dostoyevsky novel is unread by me, and will likely remain that way, but I'm also going to assume that it will be offensively bad to anyone familiar with the source material. Shame on all involved. Also, I can't believe this film was made in 1999. Has the video quality of a 1970's porno. Awful.
Memento (2000)
at best mildly entertaining
When I saw Memento in theatres I left feeling numb. The film did absolutely nothing for me---in fact, I found it intensely awful. Hearing so many positive things about the film and taken by the possibility that it might've been my mood, I decided to revisit it when it appeared on my movie cable channel. I found myself appreciating Mr. Nolan's directing more at home, and Mr. Pearce's performance stood out the second time around. What remained the same, however, was the complete lack of interest I had in the story. It seems Mr. Nolan was so pleased with the gimmick he had that there was little atttention paid to generating suspense and creating involving and/or compelling characters. There were moments at home when I was entertained by the film, but I was never fully interested in it. If I really want to watch a reverse chronology film I'll take "The Betrayal" over this any day. My rating: 2/5
Sidenote: I look forward to Insomnia, however, if only because I know that one will have an interesting story.