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Reviews
The Swan Princess (1994)
A Childhood Memory
When I was little, I watched this movie over and over. I loved it so much, I even bought the sequel (the second sequel, no, but the first I did like). I absolutely adored it. When I hit 10 or 12, I sort of forgot about it.
So, yesterday, bored out of my skull, I decided, what the heck? I dug out the old VHS copy and stuck it in the VCR. I honestly only remembered something about a Princess being cursed and her being in love with a Prince, but I did remember that I loved it.
But when I watched it last night, I cringed in parts. The animation bothered me, it was so bad. I mean, what was up with Odette's hair? Honestly. And the story/songs were a bit cheesy.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of Disney-and-Disney-style movies for kids. And maybe I'm being too harsh - after all, there have been worse movies. (Have you seen some of the Barbie movies? I rest my case.) All I'm saying is that as a kid, I loved this. I wasn't distracted by the fact that all Odette did was cry over Derek, or that Derek was a complete dumb@##. It was just a pretty story.
Now that I'm older, however, it's a slightly different story.
Nancy Drew: The Creature of Kapu Cave (2006)
So Much Patential
I love Nancy Drew. I love the games (I own all 15). This was the only one that I truly dislike. When I first heard about it, I was really excited. I love the Hardy Boys - and the fact that we get to play them (more so than in "Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon") was awesome. But this game disappointed me so much. The game seemed to revolve around the fact that you could play the Hardys - that was the whole point, it seemed.
The animation was great, I will admit. Though I never really imagined the Hardy Boys looking like that, I will admit that each character looked fairly realistic, and the movements were a lot more fluid and realistic than the choppy, repetitive motions of previous games. Classic case, however, of animation dominating the game.
The mystery itself seemed wrong. Most of the puzzles were tiresome to do, or far too easy. And I disliked the ending. I didn't feel like the resolution was complete (I had to ask a friend who the culprit really was just to be sure). In all 14 of the other games, the ending was dramatic, intense and/or exciting, at the very least. This one was just "Click....click.....click....(pause to think)...click....oh, shoot. Guess I'll have to use second chance! Click....click..." How did HerInteractive go from the well-developed "Danger By Design" of summer 2006 to the animation-oriented-only "Creature of Kapu Cave" just a couple of months later? If you want to try out a Nancy Drew game, you should try maybe "The Final Scene", "Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake", most really, apart from this. This is not an average game for HerInteractive.
I just hope "Whit Wolf of Icicle Creek" is better.
Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997)
Wow. Disney had it wrong, me thinks.
Wow. This movie, when trying to describe it to a friend, comes out sounding so lame. Really, the concept of a horrific "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" could make anyone laugh. But when you see it, it's so brilliant.
The plot is well thought out. It follows the same very basic storyline as the "classic" tale you and I grew up with (ie, Disney's interpretation), but a lot of details are changed. Her mother is no longer just an evil woman, she more like a crazy, psychotic, jealous, obsessive person. "Snow White" no longer goes by her childish nickname, but instead goes by her given name, Lilliana. Even the "Prince" she "rides off into the sunset with" is dramatically different. As opposed to a 2-D character, the writers have actually integrated him into the plot line, and given him a bit more depth (I can't say how, though, without spoiling the movie).
Most horror movies are all just scare tactics and gore. This one is more like a thriller. The plot is developed, and each character has their own role to play. Take the "dwarfs" for instance. In Disney's interpretation, they're all just Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy, Doc, Grumpy, etc. They take care of Snow White, they cry when she dies, they watch as she marries the Prince. That's basically it. This one, they each have their own well-developed personalities, and help Lilli to "grow up" in some way and face the "witch".
I would love to go into more detail, but you really have to see this movie yourself to fully appreciate it. Anyone who loves horror movies or is just plain sick of that stupid Disney tale should definitely check this out.
Niagara (1953)
Not Exactly a Shining Moment in Marilyn Monroe's Life
The scenery in this movie is beautiful - a gorgeous backdrop of Niagara Falls could have that effect on any movie. But when that's the best part of the movie, you're in trouble.
I personally was bored while watching this. I thought they could have played up Marilyn's plot line a bit better - it felt like a lot of what happened was connected to small events.
Without having her aspects of the plot line played up, the film seemed to fall apart and be confusing. Watching it, I couldn't comprehend why so-and-so was doing this and why such-and-such did that.
If you want to see a Marilyn Monroe film, try "The Seven Year Itch", "Some Like It Hot" or "The Misfits". Heck, most of her films (as many as I've seen at least) are better than this.
You kind of have to understand that at this point in her career, Monroe was just starting to get real recognition (this is debatable, however). She was contractually obligated to make so many films, and this was one of them.
It wasn't a high point in her career for me.
The Wonderful World of Disney: Nancy Drew (2002)
And the plot was...?
I am a die-hard Nancy Drew fan. I haven't yet spoken with someone who has sat through this entire movie and said "I really liked it. I really, really liked it." Maggie Lawson is a good actress, I'll give her that - in fact, a lot of the people on the movie are decent - if not great - actors. But no amount of talent could fix the scripting issues here.
Seriously, I have never watched a movie like this - it's completely unique! It's hides its plot so well taht it took me 5 times watching it (a JOYFUL amount of time which I shall never get back) to actually understand what happened, who do it, and what they did. I'm not joking. It takes a really long time to comprehend what's going on.
And now for the characters - look, I don't mind it if you want to make Nancy Drew you're own, but this was ridiculous. Nancy's father seemed to be the biggest problem for me. His character was no where near the supportive, caring single-father of the books. He was really mean, and insensitive to Nancy.
Now, if you're a "die-hard" fan like me, you'll also notice how inaccurate the film is. (Non-diehards might want to ignore this paragraph.) Mostly it's little things. The name of the University is wrong. Nancy's dog was not named Butch, and was not a large breed. Things like that which Disney really could've stood to fix. But there's also problems with things like characters.
Although, in the movie's favor, they did pick a really good-looking Ned (even if he has a total of 10 seconds screen time - accurate, if you've read the "On Campus" series).
However, if you really love Nancy Drew, there's no stopping you from watching this I've learned. I say, go ahead, it's worth seeing once (heck, it's not like any of the other Nancy Drew films have been any better), if only to laugh at.
The Seven Year Itch (1955)
Undeserved Bad Reputation
So many people see trailers or pictures from this movie and think, "Oh, Marilyn Monroe with her skirt flying up. Has to be the only good part of the film (which is obviously sexist)." Really, it's so far from the truth.
This movie is hilarious! It has to be one of the funniest films I've ever seen. Tom Ewell makes the film all it is. He plays his part of the husband suffering from "the seven year itch" magnificently. The whole plot revolves around a summer spent away from his wife and son, while a beautiful neighbor with no name (Marilyn Monroe) moves in upstairs, tempting him.
I love Ewell's fantasies sequences - they are the most hilarious part of the whole movie. They reference a lot of classic movies - "From Here to Eternity" being the most famous (3 guesses what that scene looks like - and the first two don't count).
A lot of people think that Marilyn's skirt flying up is the highlight of the movie. I'll admit that scene is good, but really, it's no where near the best of the movie.
The best for me is Marilyn sitting in the bathtub with her toe - well, you really have to see it to appreciate it.
Anyway, it's a refreshing, lighthearted comedy that I've enjoyed watching over and over. Definitely would be in my top 10 favorite movies of all time.
The New World (2005)
Too Long for its style - otherwise, fine
I know I am going to get smacked for this, but I didn't like this movie.
I know it was "artistic" and I get that. But really, if you're going to be that artistic, you might want to shorten it down by at least a half an hour.
I enjoyed the plot, and the acting was better than most movies, but really, I just disliked it. It was depressing (obviously) and really quite too long for the style in which it was presented. If you haven't seen it, it's presented in a way where it flips back and forth between scenes, which is beautiful and adds to the mood of the scene, but after 2 1/2 hours, you begin to look for a sharp object.
If you are going to see this movie, I recommend you rent it, borrow it, or genuinely not pay money for it if at all possible.