xixliesent's Reviews

The Farm (I) (2018)

2/10

21 November 2022

Few movies get this low of a rating from me, I genuinely believe that most films are above a three and below an eight. However, this movie has absolutely nothing to offer outside of a dark comedic take on farm chores.

Zero character development, zero explanations, zero stakes, zero commentary, zero story, zero sense. It simply exist for the sake of existing. I think the last scene of the film was the first scene the writer thought of and decided to build a sceipt around it. The same movie could have been made and achieved the same effect in 1/3 the time.

Basically this could have been a 30 minute episode of a horror anthology and it would have been more successful, it should not have been a 80min film.

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Bullet Train (2022)

5/10

Seen it

6 November 2022

Deadpool 1 & 2, The Kingsman 1 & 2, Mr. Nobody, Smoking Aces etc. Over the top action with luck being misused as "fate" to excuse any and all deus ex machina they could hamfist into the movie.

I see people shocked at the low reviews, but maybe people are just tired of seeing the same movie? I mean Brad Pitt is essentially Domino from Deadpool 2 minus the super power to explain it all away.

This movie is what it is and what it is; is a derivative, low effort, nonsense for the sake of nonsense fluff. Save yourself the time and watch The Kingsman for over the top characters with better plot, action, and story.

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Wendell & Wild (2022)

4/10

Who is this for?

3 November 2022

This movie doesn't seem to be for young kids... it's too nonsensical to be for adults. I guess maybe teens? But I don't think they'd watch it.

Im confused by the high score of a 6.6 at the time of this. Why are we praising mediocrity? It's not overly impressive in any aspect so why the 7 and 8's? Out of 10? That's damn near Coraline numbers.

I don't think this was a bad movie but it there is almost no plot, no consistency in tone, no real growth and everything just seems to unfold easily for everyone involved. It tried to stuff so many lessons in at the end I felt like I was cramming for an empathy seminar.

I know it wasn't for me as many people will say but I'm genuinely asking, who is this film for?

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Blackout (VI) (2022)

3/10

Why?

19 October 2022

For a paycheck, to fill a content void, just cuz?

I thought this movie was a joke at first, like tongue-in-cheek comedy or perhaps a twist where he's still in a coma because the shootout scenes are so outlandish that they cant possibly be taken seriously. But.... alas.... its for real.

I cannot think of a single redeeming thing to say. Except maybe credit for the single location? I guess? But its painfully apparent that nobody cared. The writer? Didn't care. The actors? Didnt care. The director? Didn't care. The Editor? Didn't care. Nobody wanted this to be made, but it was because Netflix has a content quota and we're all to blame.

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Beast (I) (2022)

5/10

Pacing is top notch (High 5)

18 October 2022

I really enjoyed this no-fluff monster movie. Its straight to the point, establishes simple character motivations and throws them into the fire. The middling score shouldn't be indicative of the quality of the film but the brevity.

There's not a lot to chew on and there shouldnt be. Its a dumbed down Ghost In The Darkness with one-dimensional characters trying to survive. Thats it. With so much "elevated horror" trying to be an allegory of pain or trauma or awareness, it's good to just have a straight to the point film with people in danger.

I also really enjoyed the camera work, akin to 1917 the tracking shots for such a high paced film felt right at home.

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Smile (V) (2022)

5/10

Over the top suicides with a smirk

18 October 2022

As I've learned with Truth Or Dare, smiles are never as creepy on film as they are in a scary story. I've heard enough horror podcast to know the eerie feeling I get when I hear of a creepy smile then actually seeing one.

This film has a worthy protagonist, someone you can kinda root for and some definitely decent jump scares but outside of that it's not much to talk about.

This film is kind of like The Happening with smiles. Over the top suicides with a smirk. It has a better message (i think) with commentary on trauma but in the end it's just an ok horror and thats a lot better than what we've been getting so I'm good with that.

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Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

3/10

Too many questions

18 October 2022

Warning: Spoilers

This movie was beautifully shot and it was well acted even if it was a bit over the top at times. For me, it had too many questions, ones like the Matrix made sure to answer.

If it can simulate children to the point of believing they're real, why not just simulate the women?

If the exit point is so important, why not guard it? Or at least build a gate?

If Harry doesn't have a job in the real world, how is it that he works hard everyday to afford living in a simulation?

Nobody notices a top surgeon going missing for weeks/months?

Also, if I created a simulation that fooled hundreds if not thousands of people, I don't think I would be considered a "stupid man" by any stretch of the imagination. The last one was just a comment on the ending that seemed ham fisted for a certain demographic to cheer for accomplishments made by others.

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Significant Other (2022)

5/10

Little horror gem

13 October 2022

Just a simple, low budget, single location, well acted sci-fi with a bit of a twist. This is a high-five just short of a six imo. I don't think it's necessarily ground breaking by any means or cliché, it tracks and is very simple. The callbacks you can see coming, but its done in an engaging way. 85min runtime cannot be beat while maintaining story and simple character arch (very simple) the quick story beats come fast and will not disappoint. There's really no reason to not give this movie a first 10 (Watch it for ten minutes) and if you don't like it move on to the next. But I suggest this for your next horror night in October.

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