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Reviews
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)
An ultra-violent, future Grind-house classic. Rutger rocks!!!!!!
Rutger Hauer makes a fine return to the screen with this grind-house flick about a homeless man who finds himself in a world full of sleaze and unpunished criminal activity. Its only when he himself is pushed too far that he finally snaps and decides to "Deliver justice one shell at a time". Personally I loved it, but then I was able to watch it with the right frame of mind and admire the simplistic nature of this film. If you can take your brain out and get in the mood for an over-the-top, ultra violence film then you'll have no problem sitting through this future grind-house classic.
However, it amazes me that there are a few people who seem to think that a film entitled "Hobo with a shotgun" was going to be anything more than it was. I mean read the title back to yourself, look at the extreme artwork on the DVD cover and tell me you thought it would be anything other than a low-budget action film with lots of gore, a ridiculous plot and plenty of over-acting (save for Hauer, who was excellent). Of course its stupid, but then its supposed to be. The guys who made this knew what they were making here, and their intention was to make a homage to the classic 80s B-movies, nothing more.
Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)
Oh my god, how low did this series sink?
Easily the worse comedy I've seen to date. Everything was horrible about this film. You get the feeling that when they were halfway through filming this heap they must've said to each other "You know, this film is truly going to die at the box office, let just do any old crap, film it and send that out to the cinemas. They'll buy it, it got Police Academy written on the box after all".
The best bit that just completely sums up how bad the film was ***SPOILER WARNING*** (Like I'll spoil anything anyway lol) was when Jones and Tackleberry go to collect lassarde from his hotel room. They arrive outside his door and they become suspicious that all is not well inside. So they decide to investigate. Now at this point you'd think Tack would simply kick the door open and shout "Freeze", as is normal procedure for cops to do in America. No, not for this film, they decided that the methods for kicking doors down was downright silly. Instead Tack decides he needs the aid of an Icebucket...on his head. Clearly when he went through the academy they showed him differently the way to gain entry into a locked room - by putting a bucket on your head and ramming it against the door presumably. He puts a hole through the door anyway, stands up, takes the ice bucket off his head, sighs and then walks away with Jones without even going inside to investigate. All that stupidity for nothing and not one bit funny, logical or rational. ***SPOILER OVER*** I think about halfway through the film I began to realise this was not getting any better. I found myself becoming entertained by the site of my dog licking her rear in front of me. It was funnier too.
Anyway I recommend you to watch this "film" just purely to see how bad the series had become and to find out just how bad films can be in general. On the other hand I recommend you NOT to watch it if you want to stop your brain melting out of your ear holes with boredom.
Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
Entertaining enough
Some of the comments left by people on here show just how clueless movie goers can be. As if you can't tell that there's a slight tongue-in-cheek feel to the movie. Doesn't the stupidly high kill count or OTT methods used to kill people make that obvious to you? Does a movie with the title "Shoot em up" sound like a serious piece of work? Come on some of you just need to relax and use your brains a little.
I haven't much to say on the movie itself since its ones of those "entertained me but probably won't buy the DVD" films I so often see in cinemas. Acting was good, action was good, plot was OK. Go see it. If you love it - great, if you don't - oh well. It really is one of those kind of movies. Just remember not expect a serious film reminiscent of James Bond or Die Hard, OK?.
Crank (2006)
average
I don't really have a lot to say about the film in all honesty. The acting seems decent enough (but not great). The plot seems to hold some elements of originality and the film comes across as generally well made.
My main gripe is with the dialogue more than anything - it was just way too typical. Its that "I'm gonna kill you, motherf***er" and "You're a dead man, a**hole" type dialogue we've heard so often before. You start to wonder if the writer allowed his 12 year old son to wrote part of the script or something.
I gave it a 6 overall since it wasn't terrible but it wasn't enough to make me watch it again.