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Wish (2023)
Disney's worst movie
What is going on here? Why is it impossible to make good things any more? This isn't just a Disney problem but it's striking here . Movie writers and producers seem to only know how to copy but they don't understand when and why to copy and what made the thing they're copying so special in the first place.
This movie is a smile that doesn't reach the eyes. It has the ingredients but no heart and the movie makers didn't know how to give it one.
It's generic and bland and comes across like it was made by committee with a tick box of ingredients that they know worked in other films so they thought they'd justify chuck it all in without really thinking about it.
It's a shame that they thought this should be their milestone celebratory movie as it sums up modern Disney quite well. Stick a fork in them they're done.
Sweet Tooth (2021)
Great first, terrible second season
Take note. Nearly all of the positive reviews for this show are coming from reviews for the first season. It really really REALLY takes a nose dive into vacuousness and nonsense in season 2.
None of it makes sense at all. I know it's fantasy but it still has to be good enough to make you suspend your disbelief.
Season 2 also introduces too many characters you don't care about, detracting from the ones that you do.
And Birdie? We're supposed to think she's the goodie but she's the cause of everything. WORSE than a Nazi. The villain while being a villain at least has a plausible and desperate reason for his actions.
It's not worth investing your time in this series for as much as you'll enjoy season 1, it'll just make you more peeved off with season 2. There's no pay off for you here .
Faintheart (2008)
A gloriously British movie.
It's criminal that this movie didn't reach a wider audience and was terminally under sold. Why?
It's one those quirky and charming British comedies (in this case a romantic comedy) that really only appeals to those who like quirky British comedies. But if you like that sort of thing, you'll love this. You know the sort. You can tell from the impressive British cast list. It's just missing Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. If you like the Detectorists, Black Books, Hot Fuzz, Spaced etc then this is the movie for you. It won't blow your socks off but you'll finish it smiling. And can you really ask for better than that?
Astrid et Raphaëlle: L'étourneau (2021)
A welcome return but dissapointing ending.
It's good to be back with the team. The season starts with an intriguing mystery. How was somebody murdered in a room full of people while nobody noticed?
After plodding along with a few red herrings and the theme of magic and sleight of hand being a clue, the murderer is finally revealed. Unfortunately they forget to actually tell the viewer how it was done. Which is surely the point of the mystery? How did they pull off the murder? What a dissapointing end to a promising start.
Here's hoping for better episodes to come because I'd really been looking forward to this season as it's a great show.
The Last of Us: Look for the Light (2023)
A weak ending to a good season
And so this it it. The end of the season, you'd expect some action, it building up to something but it was somewhat of a damp squid.
Not a lot happened. It was just rinse and repeat. And it felt like the episode was over really quickly with not much to say for a season finale. If you've seen The Walking Dead it's fallen into the same trap where you've seen it all before and you end the season with not much having developed overall.
Oh the promised land didn't work out. What a surprise. Ho hum. Tune in for the next season. I don't want to sound like I didn't enjoy the season but overall this episode didn't leave me wanting more.
Im Westen nichts Neues (2022)
Generic war film detached from original.
Netflix does it again. Why can't they adapt movie's without changing everything to do with the original work, completely missing the point of the original work, showing they didn't even understand the work they adapted.
As a WW1 movie showing the futility and Horror of War it's an 8 out of 10. As an adaptation of All Quiet on the Western Front I struggle to even give it a 1* as it has no resemblance to the book apart from the main characters name and the title, which the film makers obviously didn't understand at all. Did they even see the previous movies or read the books before adapting this?
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
Just bad
This has the ingredients for a disrespectful but cheesey cult classic. Unfortunately you're not getting that. It's not good. It's not even so bad it's good. Not even so bad it's good. Not even at 1 am when you get home with your mates drunk passable. The acting is terrible, the script is terrible, the music is terrible, the plot is terrible, the costumes are terrible, everything is terrible.
If you're going to mess with a beloved text then at least put the effort in.
In an age of terrible movies, this has to be the the most terrible of them all. Don't be tempted to watch to see if it's as bad as I make out. Just take it for granted.
Knock at the Cabin (2023)
A borefest at the cabin.
The twist in this movie is that there is no twist and you never get the feeling that there will be because it's so pedestrian that it just plods along on and on as you wait to get to the end and see which will be killed and you know which one will be the sacrifice because they make it so obvious.
The acting is well done but it can't sustain a pedestrian script with absolutely no depth, flesh or bones. I'm just padding out my review now because there is a minimum length requirement. Just as happened with this movie, it feels way too long but also really short because there's literally nothing to talk about.
That '90s Show (2023)
Shows promise with a few wrinkles.
A good addition to the 70's Show. Still funny. Red and Kitty steal the show and are vital to its continued success. The cameo's from the originals are good and strike the right balance between setting up the show and giving fan service while not being in it so much that they detract from the new characters, giving them a chance to bed in. But please, don't let this be the last we over see from the old gang.
And now to the problems,
The new kids over act and apart from the main character they don't really have any personality or presence yet. Especially true of the next door neighbour who overacts both in line delivery and emotes. The Asian kid gets more time towards the end of the season and gets better but his voice is really annoying. The rest of the gang might not exist for all the screen time they get.
There is virtually no indication that this show is set in the 90's. This is the show's biggest sin. It's a 2023 show, filmed on the set of the 70's show with the occasional 90's reference to justify the title of the show. Please, in the next season, can we have more 90's style and context? This isn't supposed to be Hannah Montana with over acting kid actors and only 21st century social commentary. It's called That 90's show.
And and scale back the laugh track.
Velma: Velma Kai (2023)
Still bad
Jokes continue to fall flat. The writing continues to fall flat and be extremely smug. And the worst sin of all is that it's completely boring. Nothing has happened, it's going nowhere, it's just mean. It's intersectional posturing trying to be clever but without any ability to actually be clever or remotely funny. I'm convinced this was a different show but it wasn't good enough to stand on its own so they made them Scooby Doo Characters in order to get brand recognition and initial eyeballs. Unfortunately they've just disgraced themselves, made any future animation series so much harder and tainted the beloved Scooby Doo brand.
Yawn.
The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022)
What did i just watch?
What is this? Huh?
I've just watched a bunch of great actors reduced to coming across as terrible actors due to a terrible script I guess?
What is going on here? It just jumps around and then jumps around again...and again. It barely has anything to do with the Witcher. It's as if Netflix just took a bunch of random scenes that their fantasy writers had written for various projects over the years and jammed them all together, giving them the same character names in order to weave a 'narrative'.
But it's junk. It's barely watchable. Even as a generic standalone fantasy. But hey it takes a weird kind of talent to produce the worst programme Netflix has ever put out.
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
All style no substance.
It's visually stunning but there is no substance. Cameron may have been able to pull this trick once when the technology had never been seen before but the CGI although impressive is not as ground breaking as it was 13 years ago. People are over 3d now. It's a one trick pony, a decade too late. Like with the first, a movie that comes in near 3 hours needs more than great CGI to sustain it. Without any kind of engaging plot it's three hour run time feels like an eternity.
Why doesn't plot seem to matter to anyone anymore? Are we really so dumbed down as a society?
Movie's that cost so much really need more to make it. After the initial buzz, I suspect viewings will crash and nobody will care in a very short period of time.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Alloyed (2022)
Last episode dissapointment
So we come to the last episode were we were supposed to get amazing revelations and "amazing" plot "twists" only to find that those revelations and plot twists were entirely foreseeable, not just from episode one but from before the season was even shown. For example, it was incredibly obvious from the pre season trailers who Sauron was. I won't reveal spoilers to anyone reading this but you probably know anyway. Because it's so so obvious, Subtlety and cleverness was not in the critical skill set of the show runners or script writers.
And so we say goodbye to a completely wasted promise as the most expensive tv show ever made bows out like a deflated balloon. So much wasted potential.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: The Eye (2022)
bad writing still destroying this show.
After last week's picking up of the pace, finally introducing some pace and tension into the show, this week that's all gone and we've returned to cringe dialogue and high amounts of 'that would never happen'. All tension has gone because we now know that nothing bad can ever happen to our main characters. When faced with a situation that nobody could possibly ever survive, when everyone else is getting killed, when people hundreds of miles are effected by the latest circumstances, our plucky heroes at the centre of the storm, won't even suffer a scratch. C'mon. There's being able to suspend your disbelief and then there's nonsense so far fetched that you can never suspend your disbelief.
House of the Dragon (2022)
I love it
Right from the start, this show pulls you in and invest in the show. Unlike that other fantasy show that's running at the moment, it introduces the characters and the plot points without boring you to death. It's exciting, it keeps you wanting more, there's a complicated plot going on but you understand all of it. This show certainly doesn't insult it's viewers.
It's wonderfully diverse in a good way. It's non insulting or tokenistic. Every character makes sense and deserves their place.
And holy cow. Matt Smith is amazing in this. He's an excellent villain with a sympathetic twist in the best GOT tradition.
Definitely check this out.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Partings (2022)
mixed bag. Not good enough at this stage.
I was drawn back by some positive reviews, only to realise they're probably fake as they all use the same buzzwords and didn't match my perspective (or anyone else I know who are actually watching it).
The plot is actually coming together as in a storyline is actually developing. It's still not believable though. I don't have to force myself to suspend my disbelief while watching the movies or reading the books or watching other fantasy series such as House of the Dragon or GOT or even Wheel of Time. I can only put this down to poor writing and acting. It's so hammy. Once again Galadriel is shown to be a poor vehicle for this show. She's an unbelievable and unlikeable character, acted badly.
By this point we shouldn't all be thinking "Well they need to find their feet and set up the world" and other thoughts to justify this meandering show. We're over 5 hours in. Many classic trilogies would have wrapped up by now.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Adrift (2022)
Better than episode 1
Well this episode was an overall improvement on the first episode.
The human character's, the elf Arondir and the Dwarves are good or maybe it's just because they can actually act??
There was actually a moment of tension in this episode where I felt invested for the first time.
The weakest link in the show is still Galadrial however. She's the worst character and the worst actor in the show but supposed to be the main character. Which could be a big problem.
Will the show switch focus in order to save it? .
Less Lenny Henry was also an improvement.
Am I damning this with feint praise? I'm unsure.
Tune in next time...
God's Favorite Idiot (2022)
Bingeworthy but forgettable
It was ok but felt underdeveloped.
The problem is not the story but the cast. Melissa McCarthy seems to ruin even good ideas. The side character's are thinly drawn and one dimensional.
Humour these days seems to consist of really fast talking sarcastic monologues with in jokes and being mean. Stop talking about Harry Potter. This has nothing to do Harry Potter.
I want to stick with it just to see the end of the season but I wouldn't be surprised if it's been cancelled half way through.
Also why is it filmed in Australia but pretending to be America?
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Worst Star Wars yet
After seeing all the negativity, I couldn't understand it as I enjoyed the first two episodes. However watching episode 3 onwards, I realise the trashing is warranted.
Junk. Just bury Star Wars. It's done.