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Reviews
American Reunion (2012)
Best Slice Of Pie Since 1 & 2!
I am a HUGE American Pie fan, and thought 1 & 2 were so freaking funny! Of course, there have been so many movies in the series now, and I thought it got kind of stale humor wise. However, American Reunion deserves to be held in the same regard as the first 2! ABSOLUTELY CLASSIC! As always, Jim gets himself in the most hilarious predicaments. Our Stiffler is still the same ole lovable prick that we all adore. On top of that, it was great because it has ALL THE THROWBACK CHARACTERS in it as well as a cameo from Neil Patrick Harris.
I was so stoked about the release of American Pie Reunion! My friends all new the release date because I would not shut up about it. Unfortunately, my father would get sick with cancer. They all tried to get me away from the care facility. So I could get away from "misery." I just was not in the mood for something like this.
He would pass away in late July. After falling into crippling depression, my friends purchased the movie on DVD and all planned a surprise visit. Everyone of my close high school/longtime friends showed up and we watched it together just like we did back in 2000! I think my biggest compliment I can give is it made me smile(and of course, laugh!) for the first time since my father passed.
If you are a fan of comedy and a fan of American Pie, this is one that you will not want to miss. I promise you will not only love it, but you will want to watch it over and over again. Tonight was my 6th time watching it since in came out in 2012.
Those Who Call (2023)
GOD AWFUL MOVIE, ABYSMAL ACTING
I DO NOT believe that I have ever care any LESS that the two lead female characters live or die ever! They spend most of the movie fighting and arguing about how stupid the trip was, and it is SOOOO STUPID OF A TRIP that it's hard to care whether they live or die. As a matter of fact, I was rooting for them to get killed. On top of that, the actresses are so abysmal at acting and the dialogue is so repetitious of them whining about who is at fault. Just a TERRIBLE MOVIE THAT TAKES SOOOO LONG TO GET INTO ANY ACTION that you may have to watch it over a few sessions. I fell asleep the first time, got bored the second tie, and the third time...never finished this GOD AWFUL BORE.
The Ouija Exorcism (2015)
Terrible Movie/Worst Acting
I do not believe I have ever seen a more abysmal actor than the guy that played "Joe." Do not waste your time with this movie! I am an avid horror fan, and was beyond disappointed with this movie. If you are expecting a great scary ouija movie like Origin of Evil, this movie is NO WHERE CLOSE as the dialogue is as bad as the acting Actually, the younger kids from the beginning to the younger kids of the main actors and actresses are not that bad and with experience should get it together. However, you will laugh out loud at how bad and monotone the lead actor "joe" performs his lines. I have never seen a worst performance. I just have not.
Terrifier (2016)
INSTANT CLASSIC!
As I write this review, I have seen Terrifier at least 100 times! I have made my fellow Horror fans/friends watch it! I raved about it on the radio! My girlfriend called in to tell the listeners how I like to "fall asleep" to this movie playing! While that may sound negative, it is not as I usually like to put a movie on that I have seen so much that I know by memory so I do not keep "looking" thus able to sleep as my favorite movie "soothes" me. She is not a fan of Hannibal either, but who has a more soothing, relaxing voice than ANTHONY HOPKINS.
What makes ART THE CLOWN SO LOVEABLE? I THINK IT IS his humor mixed with the fact that ART THE CLOWN must be a student of all the 80s greats like Jason, Freddy, Micheal and Leatherface because the great thing about him is you get all the elements that made them Horror icons! This clown actually makes Capt Spaulding look like. A giant wussy! It is the perfect slasher that will give you a few OMFG moments that I love to pick unsuspecting members of my family to disgust. It is simply a SLASHER FILM DONE TO PERFECTION, which left me immediately wanting more!, which has made me google search daily wanting to know when Terrifier 2 was going to be released! Large amounts of fans must have shown their love for Art because just last night, he hit the BIG SCREEN AKA MOVIE THEATER for the first time, which really brought him to life! ART is already an ICON AND CULT CLASSIC JOINING THE LIKES OF those greats I mentioned earlier! I give them both 10s and MUST SEEs for any TRUE HORROR FAN especially if they are a fan of the 80s slashers!
Terrifier 2 (2022)
WORTH THE WAIT!
I have been looking 4ward 2 Terrifier 2 since the scheduled '20 release! If the rumor were correct, the producer/director/creator was trying to secure the release to theaters rather than straight to streaming. Well, they got what they wanted, and I am SO GLAD THEY DID because ART THE CLOWN really comes 2 life on the BIG SCREEN! U GET IT ALL as this HORROR delivers the goods w/ gore, extreme violence, humor, boobs,& all the musts that the 1980s Horror directors set forth! On top of that, I was on the edge of the seat caring about the story. Art the Clown is already a CLASSIC HORROR PHENOM!
I GIVE the cast all A's on their performances! Just like Terrifier, the casting seemed to hit a homerun because it does not have the feel of low budget "terrible acting" you normally get especially in our genre. Not only is the acting great, but the women are again 10s in the look department, which I think adds an extra "OMFG" factor when they get brutally killed.(I hate to say it that way, but ugly women are much less impactful when they get killed)
So after constantly searching google to see when this movie was coming out, and never getting any real, confirmed answers, I was super pleasantly surprised when I went to check if it was coming out to see that it was not only doing just that, but was in theaters the next night! I was one of the first to see it in my small city(Augusta, GA) but the theater WAS NOT EMPTY! THE 10:30(which it only had 2 showtimes in just 1 of our theaaters here in Augusta and NOT one of the main ones) had a full house. I think Art The Clown has MORE OF A CULT FOLLOWING than people know! I look forward to seeing the box office for this one come Monday! I bet it outperforms what was projected and then some!
David Howard Thornton better get the Oscar Nod for Best Actor at this year's ACADEMY AWARDS OR SOMEONE SHOULD SLAP THE HECK OUT OF THE ENTIRE ACADEMY! :) TERRIFIER 2 FOR BEST PICTURE!
We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021)
MOVIE SUX
Worst Horror Film I have ever seen, and that is SAYING A LOT because I have seen some super crappy horror films. You are better off grabbing your teens camera, and scrolling through their videos of themselves. This is the same thing, and oh many does it blow! I would give it negative stars if it allowed me to! It is so bad that I am MAD I bothered to WATCH IT.... FOR FREE!!!
Room 203 (2022)
1 Of My #2022Horror Faves
This film has a lot of future stars that we hopefully keep in our genre, but feel they will get offers in a lot of different ones. Francesca Uereb, Scott Gremillion, Viktoria Vinyarska, Eric Wiegand, and Rick LaCour all showcase their talents in his 2022 Horror Film. As someone who watches ANY AND ALL Horror, I absolutely LOVED THIS MOVIE! If you get past the slow start(50 minutes before the true action begins,) you will not be disappointed. I do not mean that the first 50 minutes is boring! They definitely set the movie up, and you get a lot of information, but as someone who loves the gore/violence/blood/scaryAF stuff, it just takes awhile to get to the thrilling ending. You also get an hour of excitement once it gets going because this is a rather long flick for our genre.
The Funhouse (1981)
HORRIBLE
As of 1 hour and 3 minutes into this 1:35 film, NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT. NO ACTION. BORING STORY. For an 80's Horror Movie, I would have expected a lot more to this flick!
Clown (2019)
Sam Lazarus
This film is worth the 10 STARS because of BABE MAGNET Sam Lazarus! My wife has him on her "Can Do HIM with ZERO PUNISHMENT" AS DO I! If his looks were not enough, his acting absolutely makes this film a delight! Email me SAM!