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Expats (2023–2024)
3/10
Watched the whole thing: Painful
15 March 2024
The whole show could have easily been compressed into a 2h-long movie. It's slow-paced but in a bad way. It is ambitious but ultimately it's just plain boring, with stilted performances and meaningless sub plots that go nowhere. Mostly, I found it cringe worthy: like a vapid Korean soap opera for middle aged housewives. Why have a pretense of dealing with the protests but doing so in a completely superficial way?

Episode 6 takes the cake: a 1h40 long snoozaton featuring singing and dancing Filipino maids, pointless new characters. It made me miss Episode 5 where I felt like I was stuck in the elevator with the other cast members with nowhere to escape to.

Hard pass.
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1/10
What A Bore-Fest
21 February 2022
While the shorts are fun and educational, this movie was boring beyond belief. Nothing's exciting. The visit to the dinosaurs takes about 1 minute, etc. It looks like a blatant attempt at cashing in on the Chinese market with constant references to the country.
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Cum to Live (2001)
1/10
So bad... it's good!
16 October 2013
Let's face it: there is no way anyone can rate this movie higher than one star! It is ridiculous in every level, from the main protagonist's hairdo, to the fact that the "american" girl has a heavy french accent. Oh, and let's not forget the grown man's bedroom full of racing car posters and die-cast model cars. As if the director/actor was still living in his childhood bedroom at his parent's house... which he probably is!

But, like a horrible car crash, you just can't help but watching it. You can see this is a long-term project, as the 2001 release betrays the fact that this movie has an early 90s feel. Must have been in post-production for that long.

The one pity is that this movie hasn't made it to the "worst ever" movie lists, which would at least give it more visibility, and the opportunity to recommend it to others as the gold-standard of crappy garage-movies.
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Herpes Boy (2009)
2/10
Poor Man's Napoleon Dynamite
24 November 2011
This movie tries to be quirky by ripping off the more successful Napoleon Dynamite. Lovable geek: check. Retro feel: check. Hammond synth soundtrack: check. The main difference however, is that the acting is really bad (the main character acts like a cross between Zoolander and Napoleon's Pedro), there is no discernible plot, the lines are too repetitive (how many times must he say he hates people) and characters are just too superficial.

I'm at a loss as to how the critics seem to love this movie, including the one who "didn't get" Napoleon Dynamite. I guess for once the bad movie ratings really do it justice.

I connected with this movie in one way: it made me hate people - everyone in it!!
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1/10
Utterly boring
24 May 2003
Sitting through this movie is a true ordeal: as with all Stephen King turkeys, this movie is LONG and time seems to stop as nothing ever happens. In the end I couldn't believe that there was simply no purpose to this movie, let alone a plot.

Stephen King movies are either hits or misses: while some adaptations of his books have turned into great movies (The Shining, Shawshank Redemption, Green Mile) others can only fall into the category of worst movies ever - Tommyknockers, Langoliers, Cujo, Christine or Needful Things all come to mind.

Avoid this movie at all costs. I'd rather sit through 3h of cooking shows than seeing this movie again!
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A Partilha (2001)
3/10
An introduction to Brazilian soap-operas...
7 February 2002
I would recommend this movie mainly to people who would like to know what Brazilian soap operas are like, but are not interested in following the 200+ episodes, often badly dubbed. The storyline is weak, the situations are all-around superficial. What starts out as a dull situation tries to develop in some kind of feel-good movie.

The cast often over-acts, and most topics dealt with are basically only taboo within the average Brazilian society. Being directed by Daniel Filho, it comes as no surprise that this movie resembles so much those low-level soap operas we'd rather not have associated with Brazil's image...
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