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R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned (2022)
If you didn't finish something...why bother reviewing it?
Yes, Roy/Joan's avatars are black women....and no, it isn't grandstanding nor is it even thrown in your face, whatever that means. The racial tension of the era gets only one scene really, the scene at the hotel, and that's all. Get. Over. Yourselves.
Two, read some reviews and they say, "I couldn't get 10-20 minutes in and turned it off", then why you reviewing something? If I asked for your review of a cake and you say, "It sucks, I got as far as cutting a slice and I didn't like it, 1 star", would that matter?
Is this worse than the Bridges/Reynolds original? Slightly, maybe, I nearly turned that one off but that's cuz that one had expectations being a full theatrical release. If anything that one was a 5.25 and this was a 5.15, and that one was a full theatrical release, budget, stars, and all. Did anyone really expect this to be better? It's a prequel no one asked for that was straight to Netflix, have some realistic expectations.
Now, none of that is to say this movie is very good but when it comes to "movies that shouldn't have gotten sequels/prequels, even Netflix released one at the same time, "Blade of the 47 Ronin" that was INFINITELY worse. You want to watch a real 1-3 star movie, compare this to that one.
This is just a watchable and brainless action flick with some forced attempts at comedy, just like most straight to VOD action flicks. We've seen a LOT of bad movies, REAL 1-3 star flicks, and this isn't one of them.
Animaniacs (2020)
Not the same....do NOT expect the same
Forced ourselves to sit through the first two seasons and this show is "Animaniacs" in name alone.
The theme song lies to you. Yakko doesn't yack anymore as the lines are a relative even split between the 3. Dot is also no longer "cute" she "has wit" because...well, you know why, even though she never uses any of this "wit"...she's still mostly the same Dot as before, mostly. She's also a mouthpiece for the writers/directors, they all are. They aren't cleverly written either...the "Goodnight everybody!" lines used to have wordplay most children wouldn't understand, now these "witty" lines are instead lines a child (middle school at most) would understand, "John Hancock", "Poppycock", "play with myself".
They did add new characters....awful ones. The one with the director's niece is awful plus the audio is dreadful since they recorded her with a tape recorder from the 90s it appears, compressed it even more, and tossed it onto a show. The new CEO of Warner Bros is wholly forgettable because she is barely in the show vs Plotz being an active contributor and somewhat driving force since he's the one who wants the Warners locked away in the tower.
There are still times when the Warners go bother historical figures...but the zany antics are gone, now they're just, again, mouthpieces for the writers. There is an episode where they are apprentices to Ben Franklin, coming up with inventions for him, which they then use as a way of getting the Warners to be upset that he's stealing their ideas from them. With the show completely forgetting they do things for no reason because "they're zany to the max". Forgot about the other historical episodes where they do the work and get zero credit because they don't care, like the Gettysburg Address or Sistine Chapel huh?
The ONE episode where the driving character truly deserved the Warner's bugging them (when the Warner CEO's daughter is parodying "My Super Sweet 16"...after already having her quincenera)....they instead empathize that she's a spoiled brat and she gets a happy ending, no carnage, no zaniness, no cake in her face, nothing.
The Warner segments primarily revolve around the Warners hanging out inside their water tower, yup, you get to see inside the tower as they conduct their regular lives, yup, they just have regular lives. They also do the close-up grossout humor that was popularized by "Ren & Stimpy" sometimes, just, seeing what sticks I guess.
At least "Pinky & The Brain" survived the transition relatively unscathed, even though recent episodes have mostly focused on "Aww....they're friends and The Brain is accepting that". If the review was just about "Pinky & The Brain" I'd rate it a 6, not amazing, but still an okay watch.
Il mio nome è vendetta (2022)
I've seen worse vengeance flicks....but there are also way better
If you have seen a few vengeance flicks in your life then you'll recognize the tried and true set-up of "I used to be a killer but I've retired, oh no, they found me." You know this trope, I know this trope, and I've lost count of how many flicks I've watched with this same set-up....except this one is in ITALIAN, showing the Italians also know how to make a relatively by-the-numbers revenge story. Even down to the "someone will try to convince the main bad guy it's not worth it but no, VENGEANCE!"
The violence in this movie is pretty tame, nothing too over the top...grounded in reality, you could say, mostly shooting and stabbing. Any character development you're looking for is missing but hey, this is a 90 mins revenge flick, you're not here for big discussion topics.
Now, the PRIMARY focus of every review here is focused on the girl and how the reviewers want to compare this to "Taken", despite no one being taken in this film. No, the girl is a 100% dead ringer for Natalie Portman in "The Professional" and young girl being taught the ways of murder is also 100% more "The Professional" than "Taken". One reviewer even said the "Bourne" series, really? I can name random action movies this has nothing in common with also, "Predator", "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin", "Lionheart"...see? Easy.
*SPOILER PART*
Back to the girl...yes, she shares blame for three deaths: mom and Patrick at the beginning since she not only took dad's pic but posted it online...and Hakim her bf, cuz she called him when the dad told her not to use the phone. HOWEVER....unlike other reviewers, how can you really blame her? You're going to give a child a phone and they NEVER take your pic or post it online, for almost 18 years? Then, in the story, she watched her mom/Patrick die, then when she asks wth is going on, dad says, "There's no time"....while they go on a who knows how long drive from their cabin to an abandoned hotel. He then continues to not tell her squat and leaves again. She is supposed to be a TEENAGER, then people get mad when she acts like one. I had no problem with her characterization, other than the fact she gets over mom/Hakim's deaths WAY too easily, but, it's more for convenience of plot rather than any other reason.
*SPOILERS END*
As for the ending, I'm okay with it and it was clearly the only way the movie was going to end, not sure why people were surprised by it. Anyways, I'd give it 4 stars, less than a 5 star average vengeance flick since it was still kind of boring for a 90 mins quick actioner (scenery shots weren't that great either), but far from the worst movie I've watched, shoot, not even the worst movie I've watched this month.
Plan lekcji (2022)
Cliches, plot craters, and you've def seen this movie before
This movie is the epitome of a cliche factory. School full of supervillains, teaching kids to stand up for themselves, women getting all hot and bothered cuz a guy defended their life, drugs are SUPER evil, fight scenes near electrical wires that will clearly end with the bad guy getting kicked into the wires...just, all of them.
BUT...who really cares? Saw reviewers giving this a 1 and 2, really? This is a clear cut sign someone has never truly seen a 1 or 2 star movie. Me? I managed to sit at least 50-60% through Insane Clown Posse's "Big Money Rustlas" (I don't even like ICP) and I watched all of "Money Plane", which is closer to a 1 or 2 star movie than this could ever hope to be. I'd still give it like, a 3 though.
What you are actually watching is the closest thing I've seen to a live action anime/comic book film set in Poland. I've watched very few Polish films/shows (so none of these actors are recognizable) and I'm awful with faces, but lucky for me, every single bad guy is distinctively designed from the rest of the cast...from primary bad guys to the randoms he fights, like the striped polo gang in the bar. Every issue can be solved with a fist fight, the main character just happens to show up at every location/scene they're needed at that time, and the bad guys only ever bring as much back-up as is completely necessary at the time, super convenient.
If you are looking for a movie that is going to make you think, make you ponder hard truths, and blah blah blah...this is not for you. PLENTY of those out there as every camera comes with a soapbox these days, but this is great for about 90ish (without credits) minutes of entertainment. I'd rate it a generous 7 but the action scenes lack impact...which, you'd think would be the only thing they'd definitely get right, but, alas.
The Takeover (2022)
This is skippable...yet watchable
I am an American (Asian) and watched this with subtitles, I am not an IT professional, do not speak Dutch, and have never been to the Netherlands so any complaints about acting (I don't speak the language so I can't tell), believability (it's a movie, get over it), or geographical impossibilities, go read something else. I am just a person who watches movies because I enjoy watching them.
This movie fits into a large collection of "meh, could've been better" I've seen, neither good nor bad, and I'll probably forget any details about it within the hour but, it's certainly watchable enough to make it to the end. If you turned it off early then decide to write a review, that's disingenuous since you can't truly review something you didn't truly try.
I've watched a LOT of REALLY bad movies and the only reason I'll turn off a movie is that nothing within the first 15-30 minutes grabs my attention. This one, with its short runtime, at least gets the character on the run early...but that's all I can say because she is then on the run the remainder of the movie which feels way longer than its 88 minute total runtime. Watch it if you're bored and/or have Subtitle Sunday like we do, or skip it, you won't be missing anything. The main character's name is Mel B, btw, so, I guess you can also watch it if you were a Spice Girl fan. Wife also agreed, "Okay I guess, watchable".
*SPOILERS*
For the evil Chinese company name, the subtitles say "Xiao Ming" is its name, the characters saying it, it could go either way, but the logo of the company which is clearly shown during one scene says it's actually "Xiauming" so, yeah, I dunno.
Also, the ENTIRE movie is predicated on this self-driving bus having facial recognition software and this is used to steal Mel B's face so they can create a deepfake video of her killing some random....but, the video also changes the body type. If the software ONLY scans the person's face, how'd they get Mel B's body type?