Reviews

If it slipped under your radar in the theaters, like it did mine, then please see it. Every person (including those whom I've forced) who has seen this movie has loved it without exaggeration.

Michael Douglas is the star, in the truest sense of the word. Though he usually possesses a kind of creepy energy on film and also when discussing his marriage to Catherine, he is just plain likable in this movie. I think it's the affection this movie can generate is what raises it from "good" to "great." Every character in this movie is sympathetic (except possibly for John-Boy as the pretentious head of the English Department). That is really saying something where seemingly every film contains a cartoony villain or antagonist.

(The same COULD be said of "The Royal Tannenbaums" but all but Hackman's characters are 0- or 1-dimensional relative to these in "Wonder Boys.")

I'm glad I bought the DVD - even though there aren't any twists or surprises at the end that promote a 2nd viewing to understand what just happened (like "Memento" or "The Usual Suspects") and the DVD doesn't have alternate endings or supplemental material (like "Se7en" or both versions of "Planet Of The Apes"). But watching this always puts me in a good mood; I watch it with friends, and loan it to friends. I'm just very careful to make sure the disc is returned promptly.

The BBC series was usually worth a smile. This movie is worth a fire-bombing.

Whereas the series was kind of clever by placing this odd, British everyman (kind of like Ziggy from the comics) in unusual situations, the movie is a series of Bean mugging and hamming his way through cut-away shots from a zero-dimensional family. This is pathetic.

Let me put it to you this way: This movie is a giant, nut-filled turd.

Without exaggeration, I can tell you that I've seen this movie at least 30 times. And I always find something new about it. For instance, in Ron & Sheila's audition with their treatment of "Midnight At The Oasis", it took me about 10 viewings til I noticed that Sheila is mouthing the words to Ron because of his problems remembering his lines.

I really don't know where to begin listing my favorite things about this movie - Ron's "medical reason" for his sole trip outside of Blaine, Dr. Pearl's Carson impressions, Sheila's "less-is-more" acting approach, Corky's tantrums ("I hate you, and I hate your ass face!"), Libba Mae's description of her job at Dairy Queen, councilman Steve Stark admiration for Corky ("GOD, I wish I was in the show"), there is not a wasted moment in this film. It's stupid of me to try to list them here.

The extras on the DVD feature a ton of scenes that weren't in the movie. There's some additional Corky items in his memorabilia collection, including towels from "Hamlet On Ice", alternate epilogues for both Ron & Sheila and also Dr. Pearl, a scene of Corky driving around town telling people they made the cast, a nutty scene of Ron's whiffle-ball reenactment of Bill Mazeroski's famous home-run, dinner at Johnny Savage's house, and extra stuff from the musical - "Nothing Ever Happens In Blaine", "This Bulging River" and also a whacked-out White House scene. But the piece de resistance of the deleted scenes is Libby Mae's other audition piece which is so subtly twisted that you just need to see it yourself.

It's debatable whether this movie is outright cruel in making fun of small townsfolk & community theater types. But the more I watch it and get into it, I think that everybody in the movie has a strong amount of affection for their characters. I don't know; you watch it 30 times and tell me what you think.

Cute little black kid wants to be a policeman. The diminuitive star, Norman Golden III is out to steal your heart while it feels like like the film-makers have stolen your wallet in the process.

This comes about a decade too late after the trend of cuddly black "child" stars Gary Coleman and Webster, who were both in their late 30's during their heyday. (I've always thought that a great idea for a TV show would be something called "Shrunken Miniature Black Man" cause apparently that's the way America wants to see them.) Anyway, back to this film...

It's basically Burt Reynolds co-starring with his toupee and trying to look put-upon by Golden. In actuality, over the course of the 90 minutes, actor Reynolds spends a lot of his on-screen time sweating profusely. It's actually kind of creepy.

I confess, I didn't make it all the way through this one. If you hate musicals, you will loathe this movie. If you love musicals, you will loathe this movie. Dancing Depression-era newspaper boys - the "Newsies" in question - mince around through the Alan Menken numbers and try to win your heart.

I liked the first Die Hard fine, and the third I think was a great, great movie. But in DH2, I just couldn't get over the movie's premise: Terrorists were going to extort the government or else they would disable Dulles Airport in Washington, and then all of the planes would simply run out of gas with nowhere to land!!!

How many airports are within even reserve fuel capacity of Dulles - 100? 200? 2000?! This movie doesn't deserve nit-picking, but that is one of the lamer plot contrivance I've ever heard of.

Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters as robots who fall in love. Sounds like it might be campy, eh? It's not. This movie is a pure endurance test. Even the voices of Jerry Garcia & "funnyman" Jack Carter can't begin to save this.

What were these people thinking?

Auteur Jerry Lewis does it all. He plays inept Bo Hooper haplessly drifting from job to job. Lewis' sense of timing as a director is phenomenally off. The scenes of Lewis' fussing with the donuts, the wacky "my ring is caught in your mesh" gag, and the lumbering appearance of the Budweiser Clydesdales are the three longest and most drawn-out scenes in "comedy" history.

Director Lewis is trying to give us time to savor our laughter; it really isn't necessary.

I absolutely dare you to watch this movie from start to finish. So bad it changes your concept of space and time. Then again, if you like seeing Jerry with big fake teeth pretending to be a wild Japanese cook at Benihana's, then you might genuinely like this movie. If so, shame on you. Absolutely awful.

I've never been lucky enough to see Lewis' legendary "The Day The Clown Cried", so this one will have to do as the worst movie I've ever seen.

Wacky send-up of the gas crisis. This stillborn political farce centers around milk prices driving up gasoline prices. Just close your eyes and I'm sure you can predict the idiotic Arab gags.

The "conscience" of the movie is supposed to be Donald Sutherland as "Nozzle Nick" a helicopter traffic reporter. His 10 minutes on screen negate every good thing Mr. Sutherland has ever done.

Everyone who appeared in this one is a bad, bad person.

Neil Diamond's tour-de-force. Need I elaborate?

OK, fine -- cantor Laurence Olivier wants son Neil Diamond to follow in his traditional Jewish footsteps, but Diamond's just GOT to ROCK, man! The scene of Neil noodling on the piano to compose "Love On The Rocks" is laugh-out-loud bad. And who doesn't get into a giggle-fit at the sight and sound of "Coming To America" and Neil shouting "My country tis of thee ..." etc.

Still, I don't advise watching this. Love interest Lucie Arnaz is completely off the charts on the annoying-meter. Then again, you DOget to watch that weird Western part of the movie where Neil grows a beard and discovers himself on the long, tough road back to superstardom. Uggh!

I blame this movie for ruining Franklin Ajaye's career.

You would think a quasi-autobiography of the Village People would be campy. But "camp" is supposed to be enjoyable and this movie will seriously challenge anybody who thinks they can look a bad movie in the eyes and laugh. Bruce Jenner's acting defies belief. And Steve Guttenberg and Valerie Perrine play each scene like they have cocaine I.V.s.

Which is weirder?: All of the Village People singing "Y.M.C.A." in an actual Y.M.C.A. or the Leather Guy singing "Danny Boy"? It's not hard to believe that director Nancy Walker (Rhoda's mom of TV fame) never got another directing gig.

This "film" is actually too lovably bad to actually hate. But that doesn't mean I could watch it without being bound to a couch with a rope. If you've seen the mediocre-to-bad "Lifeguard" starring Sam Elliott, replace the world of lifeguarding with the ultra-competitive lifestyle of club tennis-pros and replace Elliott with Bert Convy (of TV's "Tattletales" fame).

The sight of Convy jumping over the net in too-white and too-small tennis shorts to congratulate Bjorn Borg on a game well-played is an image I have never been able to shake.

First of all, I've seen Xanadu ... and THIS is the worst musical I've ever seen.

This movie was one of the worst decisions ... ever. "Let's do old Beatles songs in a movie with Peter Frampton and The Bee Gees and celebrities from Alice Cooper to George Burns." The shucking-and-jiving of Billy Preston at the end will blow your mind ... not in a good way.

The best thing about this movie is that is spawned the definitively worst novelization (and written work of any kind) of all time. This movie is not to be believed. It's amazing this didn't derail Steve Martin's career before it took off.

Daredevil Evel Kneivel (just say his name out loud - ridiculous) stars as himself. The movie seems to portray Kneivel as some sort of wheelie-popping Christ figure.

You can't see it enough to fathom how truly bizarre it is. Kneivel says he's never taken a drug in his life, which is good so there was plenty enough to go around for the writer, the director and love interest Lauren Hutton.

And Kneivel's not even the weirdest guy in the movie! That honor goes to poor old Gene Kelly who plays Evel's sad excuse for a mechanic. His performance is quite possibly the worst captured on film; Kelly was playing this either as senile or retarded, though I suppose it doesn't matter which.

It's rough when the most convincing actor in the film is from Frank Gifford.

This movie is a headache waiting to happen. Seeing these kids after the onset of puberty isn't fun or cute to watch anymore. In fact, it's not even humane to watch this movie.

Somehow, the lowly Bears are playing for the national little league championship in the glorious Houston Astrodome. Their new coach is none other than William Devane. The not-so-climactic game is an endless montage of bunts and Devane yelling irrelevant nonsense like "Attaboy!" from the 3rd-base coaching box. I could swear Devane is looking at chicks off-camera during some scenes.

The good thing about this turd (by the way, I think original BNB is the best sports movie for kids or adults) - writer Paul Brickman did this dud along with Deal Of The Century, but was allowed the chance to make his own films Risky Business and Men Don't Leave which were both great.

Don't get me wrong, the first three years of this show may have been my all-time favorites in television. But anyone looking for bellylaughs in later years would be disappointed; but you'd get your fill of preachiness & simplicity. Here are the stages of M*A*S*H's decline for me...

Stage 1 - M*A*S*H makes its network television debut. Centers around the loonball antics of doctors at an army surgical hospital in Korea. Hawkeye, Trapper, Ugly John (anesthetist), Spearchucker Jones and others worked hard and played hard, and made us all laugh.

Stage 2 - We focus more on affable Henry Blake and Hawkeye and Trapper busting Frank Burns' balls and irritating Hot Lips Houlihan.

Stage 3 - Maclean Stevenson (the venerable Henry Blake) leaves show for greener pastures (a brief tenure as a talk show host, then "Hello, Larry."). Written off in moving storyline. Marks beginning of the end.

Stage 4 - Two episodes after Stage 3, Wayne Rogers (loveable rogue doctor Trapper John McIntyre) leaves show for greener pastures (TV-movie remake of It's A Wonderful Life starring Marlo Thomas, TV series adaptation of "House Calls"). Written off with final scene in horizontal pin-stripe suit. Marks last time show is funny.

Stage 5 - Hawkeye gets new partner in crime (B.J. Honeycutt), camp gets new C.O. (Sherman Potter). Show develops a social conscience.

Stage 6 - Hot Lips breaks up with Frank Burns, becomes friendly, now known as Margaret. Bad omen.

Stage 7 - Larry Linville (twittish Frank Burns) leaves show for greener pastures (memorable turn on Love Boat). Is replaced by stuffy Charles Emerson Winchester. Quality of show continues to slide.

Stage 8 - B.J. grows a moustache. Show is no longer functionally a comedy.

Stage 9 - Klinger no longer wears women's clothing. Another turn on the downward spiral.

Stage 10 - Nearly every show is "issue-oriented." Yeah, war is hell - we get it, already. Alan Alda becomes the driving creative force on the show; he gets confused into thinking show is "Playhouse 90". Guns for a Humanitas Award each week.

Stage 11 - Gary Burghoff leaves show for greener pastures (in some TV markets becomes spokesman for BP Gasoline). Klinger runs camp - now apparently loves the army.

Stage 12 - Peripheral characters now have entire storylines devoted to them. John Q. Livingroom gets treated to helpings of Igor (cook), Kelley (heavy-set Hawaiian nurse), and Rizzo (Cajun guy in motor pool - you may recognize him as ball-busting sergeant in the Policy Academy franchise). Any potential of this show amusing anyone besides mental patients can be officially retired.

Stage 13 - Cast and crew of M*A*S*H decide to "go out on top". Many lament the loss of characters that became as dear as family members or close friends to viewers. I lament the fact that I had so little going on in my life, that I ever watched this show for a minute after Klinger stopped cross-dressing, or that I have brain cells occupied by the fact that I know that Sidney, the occasionally visiting psychiatrist, was portrayed by Alan Arbus. Where did my life go so wrong?

What's with Jan Murray as a faux-Bogart from The African Queen? I can't even begin to describe how insane this movie is.

And what about Olympic decathelete Rafer Johnson as the evil Barcuna? -- Incidentally, how did all of these folks end up in Brazil? Jan Murray's interplay with little Pepe is like nothing I've ever seen.

When people tell you that movies were better in the old days, sit them down with this one. I once had the chance to ask Mr. Hope about "the road pictures" and he was gracious enough to respond by babbling about "the salad days" for about 10 minutes.

If you're offended by gay jokes, then this one will astound you. If I didn't know any better, this film seems like an out-and-out weird lampoon of homosexuality.