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Reviews
Christmas at the Palace (2018)
It's a trope for a reason
It's exactly what is claims to be. A Hallmark Christmas movie in which a widowed king and his adorable (although slightly older than the usual) daughter fall in love with the American peasant. There is so, so much wrong with this whole concept, but it is cliche only because it is a popular enough concept to grab casual viewers of the genre.
That said, it's just okay. Neither bad nor good, although there are some surprisingly passionate opinions on both sides in the reviews. That surprised me, because this movie does absolutely nothing to make it so exciting. But it also doesn't make me want to throw things. And it's pleasant enough to look at and listen to (in the background) that it can be on while the family is doing other things like cooking, cleaning, or conversing.
Not good. But also not bad.
A Veteran's Christmas (2018)
A Hallmark Christmas Horror Movie
Giving this 3 stars only because it becomes almost entertaining if you watch it as a horror flick. Yikes this one is super creepy. The whole thing feels a little Stepford/Get Out/Wicker Man. By the end of the movie the judge has used the sheriff to essentially kidnap our intrepid heroine and bring her to be initiated into the creepily happy cult by the entire town.
To be honest, I only stuck with this movie because the reviews were hilarious. Otherwise, things like the heavy-handed church "invitation", the after school special advice to the little kid, and all the plastic happy people would have sent me running.
A World Record Christmas (2023)
I'm not crying, you're crying
Hallmark Christmas movies are a yearly indulgence for me. For a few weeks each year I throw out all expectations of good storytelling/writing/directing and choose to drown myself in schmaltzy romantic drivel.
This year, Hallmark managed to sneak in a few actual good movies in amongst the anticipated hyper-sappy drivel. This is one of the best! I've watched it twice now, and will watch it again if I catch it on this season. The story is simple and uplifting, but the characters (and the actors' portrayals) are gorgeously done!
Aias Dalton is an incredibly talented young actor. Period. The fact that he is autistic makes him neither more nor less talented, but I am entirely impressed with him for managing to practice his craft in what I know for a fact is a hectic environment. Well done, dude!
The family and friends were presented in such a way as to teach the ignorant that autistic people are just people who need some considerations. Best friend Amy was a gem. How great would it be if we all were so considerate and caring of each others' needs and differences?
I am here for sappy, stupid romantic Christmas movies but I loved that this movie didn't fit that bill. Marissa and Eric had their moments (and honestly Marissa's deception was the one real sour note for me) but that wasn't the crux of the story.
The real standout character for me was the stepdad, Eric. Talk about your perfect man! My heart bled for him every time he so sweetly accepted that the boy he loved and raised wasn't comfortable calling him dad.
This movie is so worth watching. Bring your Kleenex.
A Godwink Christmas: Miracle of Love (2021)
This is how to traumatize a person
Seriously. I get that this is about miracles, and we all go into a Hallmark Christmas movie expecting a happily ever after. But we also assume that the characters still believe that things could go wrong.
It's utterly appalling how Joy is set up for a potential lifetime of trauma. When Eric is dying in the hospital, Joy is told multiple times that she is the reason he is surviving and he might not make it through the night if she leaves. So if the miracle doesn't happen, Eric dies and Joy is now living with the crushing guilt of having somehow not saved him by sitting at his bedside? Way to go Hallmark.
The emotional manipulation is worse than usual in this one, and not just in that horrifying sequence. I've watched a couple of the Godwink movies and they are all pretty much in the same vein but this one was by far the worst.
I won't even get into the awful acting and writing because I'm still too angry at the horrible ending.
Don't waste your time.
Round and Round (2023)
Genuinely good movie
I only watch Hallmark during the holiday season, and for that short period I tend to give up all expectations of actual good writing and directing (although to be fair the acting is often quite good in spite of those obstacles).
This movie, though, took me completely by surprise. (As an aside, Hallmark needs to rethink their promos and teasers. I nearly didn't watch this movie because the promos turned me off so much.) But this is not just a good "for Hallmark" movie. This turned out to be an actual good movie, better than many stupid rom coms that make it to the big screens.
The characters were engaging and endearing, and well played by the cast. Rick Hoffman in particular was kind of adorable and comforting as the dad, which was strange for me because I usually associate him with the absolute jerks he plays in so many movies. The boyfriend was a bit two dimensional (the comic shop guy would agree), but that was actually rather satisfying because it made him an easily dislikable character. The two main characters were both likable and - more importantly - not stupid. The actors had good chemistry and seemed at ease in their characters.
The writing and directing were some of the best I've seen from Hallmark, continuing a trend this year. (Three Wise Men and Baby immediately comes to mind.) I found myself genuinely engaged by the story and the relationships between all of them, and I was absolutely invested in the outcome even though I knew it would have a Hallmark happy ending. I also found myself pleasantly surprised by the little family twist at the end.
Satisfying and fun. Absolutely worth watching! I will watch at least once more this season and it has absolutely made my regular holiday viewing list.
A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (2018)
Insultingly awful
Let me preface this by saying that for 11 months of the year I despise schmaltzy romances. But for the month of December I become weirdly obsessed with Hallmark Christmas movies. I accept and own this craziness.
When I run out of Hallmark movies, I sometimes turn to Netflix to provide my overly sweet and predictable fix. The first movie in this series, A Prince for Christmas, fit the bill perfectly. Completely predictable, good actors (including Alice Krige!) making the best of a pretty awful script, and a satisfying resolution in 1 1/2 hours. But it had enough heart to make me care what happened to the characters and appreciate their HEA.
The sequel was beyond disappointing for so, so many reasons.
The recasting of the father was a horrible decision. The dad in the first movie was portrayed as a solid, sweet, supportive parent. In the second he was a caricature that made me cringe every time he was onscreen. The wedding planner was worse. He was ridiculously over the top, and not even funny with it. I blame most of that on the director because the entire film was just plain cringe.
The script was terrible. And I say this with the understanding that the vast majority of this genre of movies are poorly written. That's usually part of the fun. This was not fun. It was just painful. The dialogue went from melodramatic to cheesy to just plain boring all in the space of one scene. What I think was supposed to be humor just wasn't funny, and my heartstrings weren't tugged at all in the spots I'm sure they were supposed to be. The conflict was both overwrought and too easily rectified (more so than is even acceptable in this genre). The wedding itself was disappointing, and treated as an afterthought.
You can almost see the life leaving the actors' eyes the longer this farce goes on. By the conga scene, they all looked a little desperate to end it. Or maybe that was just me.
There were a few moments that salvaged this from the total trash bin. It was nice to see the original cast again, and the rehabilitation of a villain from the first movie was nice. There's a really pretty scene with the gorgeous horse and a beautiful, snowy landscape. But honestly, the best part of the movie was the blooper reel at the end.
I know there's at least one more movie in this series, but I don't know if I can care enough to watch it.
Three Wise Men and a Baby (2022)
Peak Hallmark Goodness
First, let me just say that the dance scene was absolute perfection. My husband and I looked at each other and asked, "What just happened?" Utterly hilarious and wonderfully executed by the three brilliantly cast leading males. I hope everyone who made this movie had as much fun making it as we had watching it.
Is it Shakespeare? Of course not. But that's not why you watch Hallmark Christmas movies. What it is, however, is a rather brilliant little movie written by two of the best Hallmark veteran actors. They clearly paid attention to all the ridiculous scripts they had to bring to life onscreen in their Hallmark careers and said, "We can do that better." They were so very, very right.
Great casting and direction brings this script to life in a way that Hallmark needs to aspire to in all its holiday movies. It hits so many of the tropes we expect and depend on from these movies but does it without being stale and overly cringe.
The comedy was, for the most part, directly on point. I've read that there was a good bit of ad-libbing that only added to the humor. The schmaltzy parts were (for Hallmark) relatively low-key and sincere rather than saccharine and just kind of gross as some of these movies can be. I loved that the obligatory romances didn't all magically resolve themselves with a kiss on Christmas. The brothers' reconciliation and introspective revelations were fast enough to give whiplash, but it's hard to complain about that when we expect a happy ending in less than 2 hours.
Speaking of brilliant casting: Margaret Colin was a stroke of genius. There are many subtle and not-so-subtle self-aware aspects of this movie, but to cast the girlfriend from Three Men and a Baby as the mom was *chef's kiss*.
I really hope Hallmark has more coming from this writing team. They're golden. As a "Christmas only" Hallmark viewer, this movie is at the top of my list of those I will watch every time I see it on.