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Reviews
Les patriotes (1994)
Pretentious and plotless
What so many French movies lack in storytelling, they make up in humor, irony and self-deprecation. This one takes itself seriously, and it really shouldn't. It never found an audience and was an utter commercial failure when it came out in 1994. To this day, the director seems to think "the press" was responsible. Well, no: the reason it failed is that there is no plot, characters and scenes are utter clichés, cinematography is uninspired and even sound design is poor.
It is utterly vulgar in nature, and sexist. A hooker is shown naked during several long shots, but when the male main character gets up from bed after sex, he wears boxers!
It's also long and slow. Actors were apparently told to insert random silences in their dialogue, sometimes between words, to sound deep? But that's not deep, it's dumb.
Utter waste of time.
The Staircase (2022)
Forgettable
This is bad. Poor acting, bad writing, confusing editing, uninteresting and rambling subplots. And a betrayal of the original documentary.
Colin Firth is unbelievable as an American (or former Marine). Juliette Binoche can't act, in English or French. The actor playing Denis Poncet doesn't speak French fluently, and it's ridiculous and very distracting.
All kids characters are unlikable, unrelatable. Whatever happens in Germany is boring as hell and, I think, irrelevant to the story.
I don't understand the point of making this when the original documentary was so good and well received. This is a complete and utter waste of time.