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Dark Shadows (2012)
4/10
Keep these two away from each other
9 May 2012
The film can't decide whether it's a fish-out-of-water comedy or a Gothic thriller/romance. Instead, we get treated to a bipolar movie that is, at times, really funny, but mostly full of unnecessary exposition. I think Burton wanted to honor the TV show by adding in so many details, but frankly, it was boring at times as they moved from one plot point to another. Some of the "wrap up" surprises at the end came off as forced. Though I'm glad they didn't rely on as much CGI to create the set pieces, one major scene involving a concert looked like it was stolen from the Austin Powers films.

Johnny Depp did some great physical comedy as well as Helena Bonham Carter and Jackie Earle Haley, but Dark Shadows should go back to the grave.
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Comic Book Men (2012–2018)
2/10
Meh.
24 February 2012
Adding to the already flooded market of "how much is my crap worth" shows like Pawn Stars, Auction Hunters, Oddities and the original Antiques Roadshow comes Comic Book Men.

If you're Kevin Smith fan, you'll probably like this, but for the rest of us, this comes across as a stale formula that is already being done on the Travel channel, for crying out loud.

I've watched two shows and can't say that anyone really stands out, except for a guy who has a ZZ Top Beard.

Basically, it seemed like the show is set up to belittle "customers" who come in to have their stuff evaluated with the prerequisite "I have to check with my buddy who's an expert in (blank)" and then the person is told that their junk is worth nothing.

Then, we switch to a studio where Smith tries to ramp up the drama where we get to make fun of the chump and celebrate the "Men" and their efforts.

I suspect that Kevin Smith supports recycling. It should have the green symbol underneath the header. it look like he's using content from his podcasts and spitting it out as a TV show.

The feeling that these customers have been pre-screened a hundred times and coached is pretty strong here. I just feel bad that a bunch of dumpy middle-aged guys need to feel better about themselves at the expense of even dumpier dudes......

40 year old virgin already taught me what the value of an Oscar Goldman doll is. I don't need these guys telling me as if it's secret knowledge.

In the words of their animated forefather: Worst Show Ever.
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The Departed (2006)
4/10
I don't know if we watched the same film
6 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This one went on way too long and had too much Jack Nicholson's shtick. The story had more holes than Whitey Bulger's victims did. I saw the original and was not impressed with the good guy/bad guy duality. I tried to give it a chance, but it sank like a body in the harbor. It was nice to see actors valiantly trying to grip the MA accent, but some, like Nicholson, gave up any pretense.

It was also funny to hear thugs deliver their lines with well-formed thoughts and references to Joyce and Shakespeare, despite the fact that they are low-class thugs.

Setting up a meeting in a porno theater might have worked twenty years ago, but where are there any in the world? At times, Scorsese's use of music was boring.

And the ending, oooh there's a rat in your apartment! That was just funny.
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Ghost World (2001)
2/10
Snore!
9 September 2002
This is a film that has been given way too much praise. It doesn't add up; from characters that are more caricature to chew up scenery to a dullolder guy -younger woman relationship that is all but exhausted and nauseating, I was bored by it. The only interesting part concerns the rift between friends, but it becomes an afterthought as the plot unfolds.
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