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2/10
Not for Grownups
6 January 2010
Warning: Spoilers
The proof that "Capitalism: A Love Story" is a surpassingly stupid movie is evident from its heavy breathing over FDR's abortive "Second Bill of Rights"—which, if the President had but lived to push it through Congress, would supposedly have established economic justice and equality by law. This second Bill of Rights was actually included in FDR's 1944 State of the Union message. Here's his list of proposed new rights: "The right to a useful and remunerative job in the industries or shops or farms or mines of the nation; The right to earn enough to provide adequate food and clothing and recreation; The right of every farmer to raise and sell his products at a return which will give him and his family a decent living; The right of every businessman, large and small, to trade in an atmosphere of freedom from unfair competition and domination by monopolies at home or abroad; The right of every family to a decent home; The right to adequate medical care and the opportunity to achieve and enjoy good health; The right to adequate protection from the economic fears of old age, sickness, accident, and unemployment; The right to a good education."

Now of course this is all humbug. However attractive these so-called rights might seem in principle, a government attempting to enact them would soon acquire near-totalitarian powers. And no conceivable government could obtain the necessary data, much less mobilize the wisdom, to make these rights effective. Even in FDR's day, the promise of economic planning was a sad delusion. A national economy on the US scale is simply too large and complex to be managed by government experts and bureaucrats. For these reasons, one would have expected Moore's film to be greeted with hoots of derision. But since, as the French say, a fool can always find a bigger fool to admire him, "Capitalism: A Love Story" was saluted in certain quarters with hosannas and waving palm branches.

Moore proposes replacing evil capitalism with "democracy." And though he's leery of using the precise word, the astute viewer soon grasps his point. Socialism! Socialism will save America from the greedy clutches of corrupt politicians and their sinister corporate paymasters! Okay, so maybe this idea didn't work too well in Russia, China, etc.—but whatever his deficiencies as an economist, Moore understands his audience well enough. He knows that few of them learned any history in school and are largely unaware of the catastrophic results of every past attempt to establish socialism. He also knows that people like to be told what they want to hear—in this case, that they can have all the goodies they want for free if only a "democratic" government existed to provide them. So despite the stupidity of his film, I suppose that I must concede to the filmmaker a certain low cunning.

Moore being Moore, he drives his point home in a typically heavy-handed manner, with the usual collection of sob stories. But while it's tough to lose your house because you can't afford the mortgage payments, that's a relatively minor tragedy compared to a sojourn in the Gulag or a bullet in the back of the neck. I doubt that the pathetic victims of capitalism he parades across the screen could endure living in Cuba, North Korea or Vietnam for even a single day. And that's why Moore's expose of American economic injustice is largely bogus: He measures America against an airy ideological fantasy, a socialist paradise that has never existed and never could exist in this real world of fallible, imperfect human beings.

Grownup people understand all this. Michael Moore, of course, is not a grownup, and his film is merely the power fantasy of an arrested adolescent.
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Screamers (1995)
6/10
I've Seen Worse. . .
5 January 2010
Philip K. Dick's "Second Variety," is a fine example of that difficult form, the science fiction horror story. When I discovered recently that it had been made into a movie, I prepared myself for the worst. The cinematic butchering of Robert Heinlein's "Starship Troopers" and the absolutely horrifying desecration of Isaac Asimov's "Nightfall" had shown me the depths to which the film version of a revered SF classic could sink.

But what a surprise! "Screamers" isn't at all bad. Though transported through time and space from Earth to a distant planet, Dick's basic plot remains intact. The murderous "claws" of the story are called "screamers" in the film, but their function is the same: to search out and destroy human life. Better still, the atmosphere of creeping paranoia that rendered the original story so memorable has been effectively transferred from page to screen. The cast, headed by Peter Weller and Jennifer Rubin, do well in their admittedly undemanding roles. The special effects, though hardly whiz-bang, are sufficient unto the film. I had a good time with this movie myself, and I think others would enjoy it as well.

The reason why "Screamers" can be rated as a modest success is a simple one. The movie remains faithful to the letter—and, more importantly, to the spirit—of Dick's original story. "Second Variety" is a little gem of terror, and the people who made "Screamers" had the good sense not to mess it up. If you enjoy cinematic SF and/or horror, you'll like this movie. For sure, you could do a lot worse.
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6/10
Mr. Pal's Wild Ride
10 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
George Pal's "War of the Worlds" shouldn't work, but it does. Transplanting H.G. Wells' Martian invasion from the English Home Counties, circa 1898, to Southern California, early 1950s, seems ill-advised enough. But larding the story with religious sensibility must have set poor H.G. spinning in his grave. The movie's air of can-do American gumption and prayerful Christianity is about as far from the mental universe of the original novel as can well be imagined. One scene even includes a square dance! But no matter: "War of the Worlds" is good, clean sci-fi fun, happily unencumbered by Earnest Messages or Weighty Philosophical Considerations.

My favorite "War of the Worlds" moment comes just before the fighting begins. Observing the Martians' landing zone from a sandbagged bunker, General Mann (Les Tremayne) intones, "They'll probably move at dawn." Never has a film cliché been delivered with such perfect pitch! And sure enough, the fighting begins right on schedule with the incineration by heat ray of the saintly Pastor Collins (Lewis Martin). The troops surrounding the landing zone are routed with great slaughter, and the next thing you know, civilization itself is on the point of collapse. Not even the atom bomb, delivered by the US Air Force's Flying Wing, can arrest the progress of the invasion. In the end, of course, the Martians are defeated—by terrestrial germs, provided courtesy of God's wisdom.

The special effects? Okay, there's nothing special there, but their very crudity lends the movie a certain period charm. The acting? Gene Barry, Ann Robinson and the rest of the cast do well enough in their undemanding roles. Don't expect much in the way of character development—like the SF pulps from which it draws inspiration, "The War of the Worlds" isn't too interested in the inner lives of its characters. It's simplistic, sensational, shallow, wide-eyed, unintentionally funny in spots—and isn't that what we sometimes want in a movie? I'll take this one over the elephantine Spielberg/Cruise version any day.
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7/10
Classic Hammer Horror
9 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
"Horror of Dracula" is a nicely streamlined film version of Bram Stoker's classic novel. Though the script by Jimmy Sangster takes numerous liberties with the book, it remains faithful to the basics of Stoker's story. Christopher Lee, as the sanguinary Count, locked up the Dracula brand for a generation with his performance in this movie, and I still prefer him to more recent cape-swirlers such as Frank Langella and Gary Oldman. Peter Cushing, as the redoubtable Dr. Van Helsing, shows Anthony Hopkins (who butchered the role of the vampire hunter in the Oldman version) how it's done. The toothsome Melissa Stribling—no quasi-anorexic Hollywood starlet she—plays Mina Holmwood, the would-be bride of the vampire. Ah, those Hammer girls! Though by modern standards there's a high ratio of dialog to action, "Horror of Dracula" moves at a brisk pace. And along the way, it delivers some genuine chills. The graveyard scene in which Van Helsing and Arthur Holmwood confront the latter's sister, Lucy (Carol Marsh), who has been transformed into a vampire by Dracula, is particularly creepy.

Considering that "Horror of Dracula" was made in 1958, it holds up very well today. Christopher Lee went on to portray Dracula in a number of Hammer sequels ("Dracula Prince of Darkness" was probably the best of the lot), but his first outing in the role remains the most memorable of them all. If you're into horror movies and you haven't seen this one—see it.
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Conspiracy (2001 TV Movie)
8/10
Government Isn't the Problem—It's the Final Solution
9 December 2009
You probably don't think it's possible to make a horror film about a bunch of cops and bureaucrats sitting around a conference table. Once you've seen "Conspiracy," however, you might change your mind.

"Conspiracy" recreates the notorious Wannsee Conference (January 1942), at which a group of German officials under the chairmanship of SS-Obergruppenführer Reinhard Heydrich sketched the plan of the Final Solution—the annihilation of European Jewry. Several transcripts of the meeting were made, one of which survived the war in the archives of the German Foreign Ministry. "Conspiracy" is based on this transcript.

This film would not be half so terrifying if it depicted the architects of the Holocaust as barbarian savages. But we see that they were not. Most were educated men—a majority of them were lawyers and one even goes so far as to quote Goethe in the context of a discussion of the gas chambers. And this makes sense when you think about it. Mass murder on the scale of the Final Solution demanded organizational and technical expertise of a high order. "Conspiracy" reminds us that the execution squads and extermination camps were supported by a vast army of paper pushers who never squeezed a trigger or opened a gas canister—people like Adolf Eichmann, for example, an exemplary bureaucrat whose job was to ensure that the death machine ran on schedule.

Touring the defeated country after the end of World War II, George Orwell remarked that "To walk through the ruined cities of Germany is to feel an actual doubt about the continuity of civilization." Some such doubt lingers in the mind after watching "Conspiracy." It's not pleasant to reflect that the nation of Bach, Kant, Mozart, Schiller, Goethe, eventually brought forth Hitler, Himmler, Heydrich. How such a thing could happen is a subject for philosophers and perhaps theologians; "Conspiracy" shows that it can happen.

Kenneth Branagh (as Heydrich), Stanley Tucci (as Eichmann) and Colin Firth (as Dr. Wilhelm Stuckart, primary author of Nazi Germany's anti-Semitic Nuremburg Laws) headline a uniformly excellent cast. I highly recommend this HBO movie for TV, which in its understated way gives as disturbing a perspective on the Holocaust as a blockbuster like "Schindler's List."
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1/10
"Drag" Is the Word, All Right
8 December 2009
The idea behind "Drag Me to Hell" isn't a bad one, particularly in these times of underwater mortgages, foreclosures, etc. Given a decent script, competent direction and credible acting, it could have been a smart, witty tale of terror. As it is, however, I can only recommend that the scriptwriter, the producers, the director, the entire cast and all extant prints of this cringe-inducing, sorry excuse for a horror movie be piled together in the middle of the floor and set on fire.

Though I hated "Drag Me to Hell" in its entirety, it was the uniformly atrocious acting that really triggered my gag reflex. If I had to single out the worst performance, it would have to be Reggie Lee as ethics-free loan officer Stu Rubin. Lee plays his character as an utterly transparent, exceptionally dumb sleezeball. In the real world, Stu wouldn't last a week in his job. But in the movie he's presented as a deadly threat to the career prospects of plucky heroine Christine Brown (Alison Lohman). Yeah, right. As for Ms. Lohman's performance, well, if you look up "comatose" in the dictionary. . .

Don't let anyone drag you to a screening of "Drag Me to Hell." You've been warned.
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Threads (1984 TV Movie)
4/10
Tell Me Something I Don't Know
8 June 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The trouble with this nuclear slasher flick is that it lets its audience off the hook. Sure, "Threads" is graphic, harrowing, horrifying, etc., etc.—but to what end? Is it telling us anything that we didn't already know? Not really. Just as we didn't need "Psycho" to remind us that stabbing a naked woman to death in the shower is wrong, we don't need movies like "Threads" to show us that a nuclear war would be hideous.

The chief distinguishing characteristic of "Threads" is not, however, its gruesomeness. I could rattle off the names of twenty-odd movies that show bad things happening to good people in even more horrific detail. The thing to notice about "Threads" is its cheap emotionalism. How easy it is, after all, to mow down one's pathetic cast of characters for the edification of one's audience. And how easy it becomes for that audience to develop feelings of moral superiority over the operators of the system that makes nuclear war possible. That it's very hard to come up with a solution to the moral and political dilemmas posed by the existence of nuclear technology is an inconvenient truth that "Threads" prefers to ignore.

Twice while watching "Threads" I was seized by the notion that a member of the audience had somehow jumped into the film. The speech by the female anti-nuclear activist seemed to me a perfect summary of all the irrational sensations that "Threads" aspires to arouse in its viewers. She asks—rhetorically—what the Russians could possible hope to achieve by "winning" a nuclear war. This would have been a good question if somehow it could have been addressed to the Politburo instead of to a British crowd. Later on there was the trade union official, calling for a general strike against nuclear war—as if some sense of solidarity with the British proletariat would have stayed the hand of the Soviet Union. Similar emotions, I note, have been expressed by many of those who have here commented on "Threads."

For my money, "Fail-Safe" (the original from 1964, not the cruddy George Clooney remake for TV) is far superior to "Threads" in its depiction of a nuclear doomsday. The former inspires true pity and terror; the latter merely delivers a series of shocks. The former is about people caught in a tragic situation; the latter is about the body count. Just ask yourself: Which of these two films is really more thought-provoking? The answer, I believe, is obvious—and that's why "Threads" must be judged a failure. It's not asking you to think. Maybe it doesn't even want you to think.
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Fail Safe (1964)
6/10
An Earnest Period Piece
25 January 2008
Warning: Spoilers
"Fail-Safe" has always been overshadowed by its famous contemporary, "Dr. Strangelove," and most would agree that the latter is a much superior piece of work. Though the plot mechanism that sets the film in motion is really rather implausible "Fail-Safe" has its virtues, including a literate script and some excellent performances.

When the failure of an electronic component results in the transmission of a false attack order to a group of US Air Force nuclear bombers on airborne alert, Soviet jamming prevents the group commander from confirming the order verbally. But the fail-safe system has transmitted what appears to be a valid attack order. So Group Six, with its load of ten 20-megaton hydrogen bombs, heads toward the Soviet Union. Target: Moscow.

The balance of "Fail-Safe" recounts the increasingly desperate efforts by US officials to prevent Group Six from reaching its target. The action takes place in four locations: Strategic Air Command Headquarters (Omaha, Nebraska), the War Room of the Pentagon, the presidential bunker under the White House, and the cockpit of the lead bomber of Group Six itself.

Why does it prove so difficult to recall Group Six? Well, that Soviet jamming prevents SAC from issuing a recall order by voice radio—an order that must be sent within ten minutes. After that, in accordance with standard operating procedures, Group Six will disregard any order transmitted by voice, even if it purports to come from the President himself. The nuclear war planners reasoned that the voices of senior officials and officers could be imitated; therefore, Group Six can only be recalled via the fail-safe system—which has now malfunctioned.

You see the problem. When I watched "Fail-Safe" recently, I found myself asking why there was no provision for a coded verbal recall order. In the real world, this would surely have counted as an extraordinary oversight. Indeed, from what we know of US nuclear war plans, redundancy is hardwired into the system at every point. "Accidental war" of the kind envisioned by "Fail-Safe" was always an extremely remote possibility. (Far more plausible is the premise of "Dr. Strangelove": that a rogue officer in control of nuclear weapons might touch off a war.)

Despite this gaping hole in its plot, "Fail-Safe" succeeds on a number of levels. For the first-time viewer, there is genuine suspense: Can Group Six be stopped? And without doubt, the film's Cold War atmospherics hold the mirror up to nature. In the early Sixties, when "Fail-Safe" was conceived, written and turned into a movie, the bipolar world order seemed immutable and eternal. Neither the United States nor the Soviet Union was going anywhere, and both were armed with thousands of nuclear weapons. Constantly intensifying superpower rivalry, punctuated by repeated crises, made global thermonuclear nuclear war seem inevitable. "Fail-Safe" is a fitting memorial to that bygone era.

Of the performances, my favorite is Larry Hagman as Buck, the President's Russian translator, who, on the hot line to Moscow, becomes the voice, and assumes the persona, of the Soviet premier. Walter Matthau is also outstanding as Professor Groeteschele, a political scientist and expert on nuclear war who happens to be present in the War Room on the day of the crisis. The familiar character actor Ed Binns turns in a solid performance as Colonel Grady, the commander of Group Six. Frank Overton as General Bogan, the SAC commander, is also a treat to watch. Henry Fonda's portrayal of the President is typically stoic—workmanlike if not particularly inspired.

The weakest performances are by Fritz Weaver as General Bogan's aide, Colonel Cascio, and Dan O'Herlihy as the tragic General Black. Mostly the trouble is that their parts are over-written. Cascio is the obligatory weak link, the man who cracks up under the stress of the crisis; Black is the martyr who must commit the film's final, terrible act. The implausible melodrama of Cascio's crack-up sounds a jarring note that reminds you of the fact that you are, after all, watching a movie. A quieter species of madness was called for here. And General Black? He's a tortured soul from the start—the uniformed apostate who questions the fundamental assumptions of nuclear war strategy. The astute viewer soon realizes that whatever happens, Black is going to be sacrificed. Perhaps if he'd been portrayed as a carefree flyboy, in love with all that technology and less conscious of its ultimate purposes, that sacrifice would seem more heroic. But we rather expect a Christ-like character to be crucified, don't we?

The look and sound of "Fail-Safe" are appropriately gritty—everything black and white, with a soundtrack full of spooky electronic noise. It's interesting to see what counted as cutting-edge technology in 1964: toggle switches the size of your thumb, huge consoles, ticker-tape readouts, stick-drawing Big Board graphics, etc. Owing to the non-cooperation of the Defense Department, the aerial footage is pretty lame. But this is a minor flaw.

Some assessments of "Fail-Safe" are colored by politics—and it's true that the film's scenario and message bear more than a tinge of old-time Ban-the-Bombism. On the other hand, the grotesque anti-military prejudices of contemporary progressivism are absent. The world of "Fail-Safe" is a world in which good men find themselves trapped in an impossible situation. No one can really be called a villain, not even the sinister Groeteschele. Like everyone else, he is a prisoner of history, a bit player in a cosmic tragedy.

"Dr. Strangelove" is a work for the ages; "Fail-Safe" is merely an earnest period piece. Still, for those of us who can remember the coldest season of the Cold War, this film still has the power to send a shiver up the spine.
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The Cruel Sea (1953)
9/10
Hearts of Oak Indeed
21 November 2007
My father, who served in the US Coast Guard on Atlantic escort duty during WW II, always said that Nicholas Monsarrat's "The Cruel Sea" gave a true picture of what the Battle of the Atlantic was really like. And the film version, with its literate script and excellent acting, faithfully recreates the atmosphere of the novel. "The Cruel Sea" is without doubt one of the best war films ever made. It shows what the war at sea was really like for the men who fought it: a matter of coping with vile weather, cramped living conditions, bad food, and the constant presence of danger. Jack Hawkins, as the captain of the corvettes "Compass Rose" and "Saltash Castle," give one of his best performances. The rest of the cast supports him admirably--particularly Stanley Baker as the odious Lieutenant Bennet.

"The Cruel Sea" makes an interesting comparison with war movies of more recent vintage, such as "Saving Private Ryan." What distinguishes it from many later films is its lack of sentimentality. To watch it (or to read the novel) is to enter the world of a generation whose attitudes and values were very different from those who came after them. After the WW II generation has passed from the scene, films like "The Cruel Sea" will number among its monuments.

Note on ships: In the novel, the second ship was a River class frigate named simply "Saltash." For the movie a Castle class corvette was used, hence the name "Saltash Castle." The Castle class ships were an enlarged edition of the original Flower class corvettes, of which "Compass Rose" was one.
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1408 (2007)
2/10
Don't Bother to Check In
16 November 2007
Stephen King may have his limitations as a writer but when he puts his mind to it, he can turn out a scary story. And I don't mind admitting that "1408" (the short story) scared me. Those familiar with King's work will recognize in this tale one of his longstanding obsessions: the Bad Place. Unpleasant things tend to happen to the people who stay in Room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel. The room isn't haunted, exactly—it's simply evil. And when a writer whose specialty is the debunking of the paranormal decides to spend a night in the notorious Room 1408—well, if you haven't read the story I shall not spoil the experience for you. Suffice to say that King does not disappoint.

Because it is a short story, "1408" bears no trace of the gassy bloat that has spoiled so many of King's novels. For he is actually a better writer than we think; the problem is that since Stephen King became a brand, no one seems brave enough to edit him. And precisely because it is a short story, "1408" has been turned into a pretty crummy movie.

The problem with "1408" (the movie) is that King's economical tale had to be padded out to feature-film length with whiz-bang special effects and tedious plot complications. In the process, it just plain stopped being scary. One of the things about the short story that made it frightening was what may be called the uncertainty principle. Are the horrors experienced by the writer actually happening? Or are they all in his mind? Just what kind of monster is Room 1408? Wisely, King doesn't say. But in the movie this question is never even asked, much less answered.

I imagine that "1408" would have done very well as a "Twilight Zone" episode. As a feature film, it's pretentious and ultimately boring. My advice: forget the movie, but find the story and read it if you haven't done so already.
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4/10
Good for a Laugh
9 November 2007
While it's true that "The Handmaid's Tale" is a rotten movie, it does have the excuse of being based on a rotten novel. Canadian novelist Margaret Atwood's anti-American screed was lame enough when first published in 1985; having recently reread the book, I can confirm that "The Handmaid's Tale" hasn't improved with age.

The sheer preposterousness of Atwood's scenario, her patent dislike of the Colossus of the South and her progressive finger wagging pretty much sink the book. In the movie, though her scenario remains more or less intact, Atwood's ideological preoccupations get short shrift. As a result, the movie does possess a certain entertainment value—providing that the viewer chooses to regard it as a parody or spoof. If, for example, we didn't know that Atwood was serious, the sexual protocols of the Republic of Gilead would seem a stroke of comic genius. So I can't thoroughly despise this piece of cinematic dreck. "The Handmaid's Tale" does for progressive earnestness what "Valley of the Dolls" does for pill popping: makes it seem really funny, though with absolutely no intention of raising a laugh.
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