Reviews

The basis for this review is the Retromedia DVD.

T&A titans Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray shared the director's chair for this cave girl flick. It's basically a mashup of Hammer Film's "Prehistoric Women," and "King Kong" (with a T-Rex instead of a giant ape). If you enjoy movies like "Beach Babes From Beyond," chances are good you'll like this one as well. It's chockablock full of corny one-liners, lighthearted humor, and hot women wearing almost nothing, or nothing at all. The standout scene is the wrestling match between Toni Naples and Michelle Bauer. This film is also notable for being the breakout role for the lovely Nikki Fritz, who would go on to become one of the queens of 90s softcore cinema. A significant number of the cast members would appear in Ray's "Bikini Drive-In," which judging by the commentary track was filmed shortly after.

Sadly, the original film elements were lost, but Mr. Ray cleaned up the movie as best he could. It looks and sounds like a very good VHS tape; he did not go overboard with the DNR or edge enhancement. There is no audio hiss. It's also uncensored. Highly recommended.

Favorite quote:

Wayne: "What are you guys doing here?" Sgt. Healy: "Trying to contact the rescue party." Skeemer: "Rescue party? Don't you get it? If we get rescued, the party's over!"

The basis for this review is the 2023 Blu-ray.

Fred Olen Ray fans will be very happy; the results he achieved with this restoration are stunning. The movie looks like it was shot yesterday. Colors that were dull and muddy on the old version now pop. The clumpy grain and pixelation that marred the old DVD? Gone, replaced by a clean and crisp image, one that has not been DNR'd to death. The original 4x3 aspect ratio has been preserved, so no worries about image cropping. Frankly, I've seen releases by big Hollywood studios that didn't look anywhere near as good as this. Mr. Ray did not ignore the sound quality, either. Dialogue is clear, and the under appreciated soundtrack can be heard in all its glory. The movie is also completely uncut and uncensored. And oh, boy...it's a veritable feast for the eyes, featuring an impressive roster of early 90s T&A actresses.

"Bikini Drive-In" is a 1993 incarnation of an old trope: a failing business that is saved by the timely intervention of a group of attractive women. It's simple, effective, and provides the groundwork for ninety minutes of goofy, sexy fun. One scene in particular, featuring Michelle Bauer and Richard Gabai, exemplifies this. Trust me, you'll know it when you see it.

I couldn't write a review for this film and not mention Sarah Bellomo, of "Beach Babes From Beyond" fame. She's hotter than Texas asphalt during a heat wave in August.

Do not ignore the special features; every single one of them is worth a look. The commentary track with Fred Ray and Richard Gabai is both funny and interesting. I would argue that this is one of Mr. Ray's best movies, and one of the best discs released under the Retromedia label. Highly recommended. Hopefully, he will do the same for "Bikini Airways" one day.

Before anything else: if you're a fan of this movie, this disc (from Full Moon) is the one you want. The A/V quality is decent, plus they included the old Videozone feature. The version that you'll find on DVD with "Rebecca's Secret" does not have it, and the PQ is subpar. Both versions are uncensored.

With that out of the way: I recommend this to anyone who enjoys early 90s sex comedies. Like Dave DeCoteau's other early entries in the Torchlight (now Surrender Cinema) line, this flick is all about goofy, lighthearted fun. "Beach Babes From Beyond" is still the best, but this one ties with "Beach Babes 2" for second place. I hope it gets the BD treatment some day. Like those other films, this one is thick with 1993-94 nostalgia, which I really enjoyed. This film is basically a sexy spoof of "The Terminator" and "Sorority Boys" (although the latter movie was early 2000s). I was (pleasantly) surprised at how much skin was shown, and how erotic the spicy scenes were. DeCoteau's got a great eye for flesh, I'll give him that. All the ladies are lovely, but the real standout was Tamara Tohill as Samantha. Sadly, this was her only film.

You may have read rumors about Morgan Fairchild being upset with Charles Brand about this movie. If true, one possible reason is the scene where the guys are reprogramming the Lex 500. A prop nudie magazine is used, with her face pasted over the faces of the models. That one scene alone made this movie worth buying.

Some of the better dialogue:

Maggie (Michele Matheson): "Would you mind telling me why you're fixing him?" (the Lex 500, played by Don Dowe)

Naldo (Brian Bremer): "Well, Maggie, I'm reprogramming him to go after Swales." (Morgan Fairchild)

Maggie: "You mean, you're going to have him...terminate her?"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Like I said, goofy sense of fun. Also terrific is Ian Abercrombie, best known as Mr. Pitt from the Seinfled TV series.

If you're looking for a short, "turn off your brain and enjoy" movie, look no further.

The basis for this review is the Full Moon DVD.

The steamy scenes have been (mostly) reduced to a series of T&A shots, which is still nice to see, but disappointing. A company called 88 Films, based in the UK, has released an uncut DVD. Before you decide to buy that disc, make sure your setup can accommodate the Region requirements and the NTSC-PAL conversion.

The manner in which the steamy scenes are edited is a bit unusual. Some of it was done via looped footage from the same scene, but mostly they did it by inserting footage of Luna and Sola dancing in slow motion, either on the beach or in the cavewoman village. Longtime fans may be wondering about the infamous "banana scene." It's still there...kind of. Only the first 15 seconds or so is shown, then it cuts to dancing.

This sequel is polarizing. Some people who enjoyed the first movie don't like it, but I did. I will admit that it loses some of the charming, goofy sense of fun that makes the first "Beach Babes" appealing. Even so, I really enjoy watching this film...if I have the time, I watch both of them back to back. One thing I liked is the dancing at the end, as the credits are rolling. Why? Honestly, I'm not sure. Maybe because everyone seems so happy and carefree. It's infectious.

I believe a lot of the problems can be traced back to time and money. "Beach Babes" had a ten day filming schedule, and a budget of $250,000 - $300,000. "Cave Girl Island" had only a five day filming schedule, and a small percentage of that budget. The lack of time and money is obvious not only in the physical aspects of production, but the quality of the script...in short, it's all over the place. I wouldn't be surprised if the cast/crew were just making stuff up as they went along. For example, several characters mention escaping a volcanic eruption, but nothing of the sort is even implied on screen.

The plot (such as it is) can be a bit difficult to follow, but the description on the back of the DVD case provides a pretty good outline. Almost nothing is said about the events of the first movie, aside from a brief mention of Malibu by Luna. The beautiful Sarah Bellomo (Xena) is the only original cast member who returned. It's a real shame Dave DeCoteau couldn't get the old cast together again. The interweb says that a third movie was planned, but abandoned.

A/V quality of this disc is okay. Nothing to brag about, but still very watchable. There is no VideoZone feature. I don't know if that's because TorchLight / Full Moon never made one, or they chose not to include it.

It may seem as though I'm putting the movie down, but that is not the case. I regard my purchase as money well spent, and I like sitting back, relaxing, and watching "Cave Girl Island." If any Full Moon people happen to read this: please release a Director's Cut BD. "Beach Babes" was awesome; having the sequel on BD would be a dream come true. Failing that, an unrated cut on DVD would be nice.

The basis of this review is the 2021 Director's Cut Blu-ray.

Films such as this are not to be judged by the rules of mainstream cinema. It may be schlock, but it's very good schlock. Briefly: three young women from the planet Vasquez, out on joy ride to planet Earth, run out of fuel and crash. They soon encounter three young Earth men, get laid, and become immersed in Malibu beach culture. Then they help save a guy's house from repossession by entering a bikini contest.

"Citizen Kane" it ain't. But it works. I've never seen any of the old "beach party" movies, but I would describe this film as an NC-17 version of them.

First, the sex and nudity. Rest assured that this version is completely uncut; in fact, it's even more graphic than the original cable release. This goes double for Nikki Fritz's scene with Albert Mitchell. You'll never look at tanning oil the same way again.

Second, the A/V quality. The short answer is that this new edition is a massive improvement over the old DVD. Colors pop, resolution is excellent, and the "shimmer" effect during panning shots, which plagued the old version, has been corrected. That having been said, there are some issues that should be mentioned. These are not meant as criticisms. Full Moon is to be commended for giving fans this new release. But I do think that potential buyers should be aware of them:

• Minor print damage can be seen throughout (but it never becomes distracting).

• The new (optional) 5.1 sound mix does give a little more oomph, but there are still a few lines of dialogue that are too soft...you can hear the speech, but you can't make out what the characters are saying. By my count, this happened three times, was very brief, and did not impact any character development or plot points. Not to mention the fact that "character development" and "plot points" are very loose terms when dealing with movies like this.

• Because the OAR (Original Aspect Ratio) has been altered, a small portion of the image from at least a few frames is missing. I only noticed this when Dave and Jerry go to Dr. Veg's Health Shack. On this new edition, the top of the sign has been cut off, and now you can only see the words "Health Shack."

I only have one minor quibble with this new Director's Cut; Full Moon did not include the old Torchlight VideoZone feature. A small thing, but it would have been nice. But they did include a massive 90 minute behind the scenes feature. No real interviews here; it's just a guy wandering around the set with a video camera. It was interesting having "fly on the wall" view of the production, and I'm glad they included it.

I liked this movie far more than I thought I would; so much so that I bought the now OOP original DVD (mostly for the VideoZone feature, and because that version has some alternate scenes), and the sequel, "Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island." I hope that one day, Vinegar Syndrome can get hold of both, and do a thorough restoration, with all available materials, production stills, etc. Maybe even a commentary with Dave DeCoteau. I will be writing a review for the sequel some time in the near future. For now, I'll just say that while "Cave Girl Island" is not as good as the first movie, I still enjoyed it.

Why did I like it so much? Partly the sexy factor, of course. The women are gorgeous (especially Sarah Bellomo). Another reason is nostalgia; this movie is like a one way time portal back to 1993. But the single biggest reason is fun. Sheer, unadulterated fun and lightheartedness. This is the kind of movie I can watch and forget my troubles for a while. I would recommend watching this along with "Dinosaur Island" and "Bikini Drive-In" (the latter now available on a beautifully restored BD). They share similar themes, and make a great trio, particularly for Nikki Fritz fans. Rest in peace, Nikki. You are missed.

I've scoured the internet looking for the lyrics of the two standout songs in this movie: "Moshin' On the Beach" and "I Got a Woody." No luck yet.

Thanks to Charles Band and Full Moon for giving fans this new edition. On the very small chance that any of you are reading this, please do the same for "Cave Girl Island," and the old TorchLight / Surrender Cinema line.