Reviews

****SPOILER ALERT!******SPOILER ALERT!!!!!*******I WILL REVEAL THE ENDING!!!!******I WILL REVEAL THE ENDING!!!!****** I've had this thing for about 2 years but could never bring myself to watch it. I knew what I was getting into when I read the description. When I saw the words "Sun" and "Supernova" together, it was obvious that the story was written by a high school drop out. But it doesn't stop there...add to that a subplot that includes an escaped serial killer and man...then the horrible acting, horrible accents, horrible effects...This is quite possibly the worst movie ever made.

It seems that an "Astrophysicist" discovers that the Sun is much older than previously thought. Like this alone changes the mass to the point that the Sun could "supernova". And during this time of great discovery, an asteroid hit the Sun. Yeah, an asteroid. I guess this was some form of foreshadowing but they never tied it in to why the sun keeps belting out CMEs directly at Earth.

Now for the lamest scene in movie history: Said astrophysicist was hiding out on a beach in a shack. And the "solar fireballs" that seem to pin point major cities...yep, scored a direct hit on his shack. And to add to the insult against viewers, this was right after he finally found true love.

****SPOILER HERE!!!!!******ENDING REVEALED!!!***** I'm going to spoil the ending. Luke Perry pours over the calculations and finds out that the original equations of the now dead astrophysicist were wrong. He had a plus sign where it should have been a minus sign. (NO, REALLY ITS IN THE MOVIE!) And now that the Sun has been put back into its proper place by the correct mathematical operator...its time to finish the random serial killer story (who all this time had done nothing but walk around looking evil and riding a stolen motorcycle). Long story short. Luke Perry's wife kills him. The end.

OK, I added the spoiler alert just to save my own reputation. But as far as this movie goes, there really isn't that much to spoil. If the milk has curdled, putting it back in the refrigerator will not help it. And now, on to my thoughts on this movie.

This will only be of interest for bad movie aficionados such as myself, so I'll cut to the chase.

1. The narration is horrible. It was like listening to Jack Webb spout some nonsensical political manifesto. "A button is pushed, things happen. A scientist is turned into a beast." He should have noted the relativistic time dilation this film creates. While the movie clock runs at about 54 minutes, the viewers clock seems to tick by for days.

2. Sound quality. Or...the lack thereof. The dialogue was dubbed in later, and so blandly that it can lull you to sleep.

3. The "action". Ummmm...If you consider random characters meandering through a desert for at least 40 minutes of a 50 minute film "action", then there is plenty.

4. The Characters. The inept patrolmen. Particularly Jim Archer, ex-paratrooper who cannot seem to hit the broadside of a barn with a scoped rifle. OH, and who, in one scene seems to have forgotten to take the lens cap off the scope. The KGB agents, why did the Soviets send these two? They are equally as bad shots as Jim Archer and whats more they are too lazy to follow their slow walking prey into an open field to fulfill their mission. Josef Javorsky, well, it is Tor Johnson. The slow moving and silent killing "beast" who decides to abandon his stealth, grunt and shake a stick from a distance at two kids. I was waiting for him to tell them that they'd never get their ball back, and to stay off his lawn. The Cheese cake. Yep, its Jim Archer's girlfriend thrown in for about a 10 second leg shot. The kids. They not only "feed soda to the pigs" as our philosophical narrator points out, they also wander around aimlessly. The victims. Well, that is all they are in this movie. I believe there were three in the opening. After that...suspense??? 5. The verdict. It is a bad movie. Except for the cheesy narration, really bad gun fight at the beginning and Tor Johnson, there really isn't that much camp in it to make it one of those "So bad its good" bad movies. It is just too flat, bland and slow moving. There isn't any quotable bad lines, there isn't any over acting or any under acting for that matter. So I think I'll just push a button and make something happen. The disc comes out of the player.

OK, I'm going to admit two things. One, I've been drinking, and two, I like the zombie genre.

Now with that out of the way, let me get to the "meat" of this so-called review.

For zombie fans, its going to be good. Why? Because for the most part, the creator of the movie genre wrote and directed it. So for us zombie fans...we're cool with it.

For you Horror fans, not looking for great Halloween ideas nor who may be into the whole "living dead" genre...you may find it bland. Especially if you are a horror fan who digs the zombie stuff. You along with me, may see a meld of plots between Romero's classic and his other, "Day of The Dead". Outside of that, I see nothing special. Its a great addition to a zombie fans collection, however on its own...meh.

For Horror fans: 3 out of 10 For Zombie fans: 3 out of 10 For Romero fans: 5 out of 10

I did have fun watching it though, but if I was in a zombie mood...I could find much better.

SPOILER ALERT!

Here is the movie. A guy hooks up his camera and lets it run. The couple sleep, and YOU are there! The couple argue about the camera running, and YOU are there! The door closes, and YOU are there! Things go bump in the night, and YOU are there! An Ouija board spontaneously burns, and YOU are there! The couple sleeps again, and YOU are there! A girl sleep walks, and YOU are there! The couple argue some more, and YOU are there!

You struggle, you fight, you pinch yourself in order to stay awake for the three, YES three unimaginative endings. And you wish you would have been somewhere else.

The premise of the movie is what caught my eye. It seemed to be an interesting piece of history presented to the public. Perhaps, I thought, the "Saving Private Ryan" or "Band of Brothers" of the Pacific Theater.

I was wrong. It turned out to be just another shoot 'em up war movie. Not that the action isn't bad, but it clearly was not what one would have expected from the blurbs and title.

At times it just became silly, for example, one man with 50 holes in his body and after being hit with a grenade can fend off x amount of the enemy, while firing from the hip, hitting his mark with every shot. The enemy on the other hand can only hit the ground in front of him.

This movie had potential. But, big booms and hackneyed Hollywood heroics destroyed the story it was suppose to tell.

I gave the movie a 5 out of 10, just because it is just a good "guy action flick." That is all it is, which is sad. Truly sad.

Sophomoric, inane, predictable "comedy" that uses the "F" word, lame sex jokes and boob shots in order to entertain 12 year old males.

If you have at least made it to high school and have the mental capacity of a teen, you will NOT find this funny. However, if you just hitting puberty and think hearing "adults" telling each other to "F" off is the pinnacle of comedy, or "adults" talking about sex is your idea of comedic genius and you have never seen a boobie...this movie is for you.

OK, I'll quit beating around the bush and put it plain and simple. This movie F'ing sux. (See, I can be F'ing funny too.)

BTW: I added the spoiler tag because the second paragraph IS the whole movie.

EDIT: 8/4/09

Just seen the movie Idiocracy. Zach and Miri welcome you to it. Enough said.

Frankly, this movie is silly.

Like others have mentioned, I too was confused at how "John the Baptist" morphed into Judas. It is dated, however that part can be fun. Also, seeing the Twin Towers...well, that is another subject (possibly the most powerful part of the film for today).

Outside of that...it is a guilty pleasure. Kinda like the Godzilla (hmmm...God..zilla/God...spell) movies that your afraid to admit you watch despite their silliness.

If you watch this movie, do it for the camp and the music, not the "message".

At first I thought the camp was suppose to be Theresienstadt. Especially with the propaganda film about the camp, and the fact that there were children in the camp. But when they started toward the gas chambers...I thought "where is this suppose to be?"

The story is good fiction, but bad history. The camp perimeters were never unguarded as they were in this movie. Most were surrounded by mine fields as well.I realize that most movies require a suspension of belief, but when you want to base your story on historical events it should be more believable. If not, then you may want to produce a WWII movie where France is liberated by Jedi knights and the Japanese Navy is decimated by X-wing fighters.