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Reviews
Thor (2011)
Good acting, awful writing
I'll do my best to not spoil anything in the rather weak plot.
Thor wants to kill the bad guys. He's exiled, and then for no evident or explained reason undergoes an overnight change from arrogant, angry, defiant, rude brute to a kind, wise, peaceful theologian.
His brother, who at this point has exactly what he wants, does something that could serve no purpose but to jeopardize what he already has. He serves to gain nothing, but he's mucking up what he has. He's SUPPOSED to be the clever trickster, not Hitler. But then he goes off trying to kill the bad guys.
Thor takes it personally that his brother is doing exactly what he wanted to do the day before, and sets out to stop him.
At the end a piece of MACHINERY is destroyed, and apparently no one in this advanced civilization that ages gracefully over 2000 years can rebuild one.
The friends of Thor, both mortal and immortal are never humanized enough to care about them, in fact you'll only remember the name of natalie portman. The rest of the characters are all real "that one guy" sorta people. The only characters with any development are thor, loki, and oden, but only oden's makes sense. Thor just snaps into good-guy mode, and loki goes on a 5-yr old tantrum when he finds out who he is. Nothing is explained about whether they're immortal by relics, or born immortal, or how they live forever and have strength. Are they just humans with relics?
Shield plays the antagonist for half the movie. They're not playing the secretive in- and-out, we don't exist, POOF guys. They're just the FBI bumbling around. I think I saw mulder and skully. They're stealing stuff in broad daylight and throwing their name around like they're accepting applicants. They don't seem to know whats going on at all, or care, they just want to steal one scientists data for some reason never clearly explained. They then give it back, and with one line of dialogue, are friends with thor. Well thank goodness.
The graphics are 2 years ago, and the backdrops look 5 years ago. Rather akin to the new star wars backdrops that are just too pristine to be real. No grit or texture.
Overall, the movie was made to introduce thor for the avengers movie. I'm concerned Green Lantern will go the same way. There are several name drops of other characters in the Marvel universe, and after the credits they show a clip from some upcoming marvel movie. The movie is a lead in, not it's own real entity. Save your money, watch it at a friends place sometime, no rush.
American Zombie (2007)
These reviewers must be cast
Might I start out by saying I will watch almost any zombie movie on repeat regardless of 'corny-ness', 'hokeyness', or gore. This is not a zombie movie. If the title were renamed "american leper who eats raw steak" you would need to change less than 3 lines in the movie.
The movie starts out hopefully enough with the cast wanting to make a documentary about zombies in LA. They develop the undead were all killed violently, and no longer remember their past lives. They also find zombies all have some glowing blue goo that seems like it could get really interesting, and then never does. It is completely never explored. Never mentioned again after they encounter it. Random blue goo swept into the plot hole pile.
Then they start developing there might be something sinister happening at a zombie party, but they cant get in as humans. This too seems like a chance for zombie dress up or a spy entry plot, but it doesn't. They get permission and go into a zombie ren-fest thats just as boring as they're trying to make it look. You could name anything that would have made that scene more interesting, but I defy you to think to something more boring. You can't. They could be trading limbs or eating grotesque or walking on the bottom of lakes or something zombie-esquire. nothing at all out of the ordinary ren-fest.
Something ravages their tent and seems to be surrounding the crew in their tent and seems like it could be getting suspenseful, but then nothing happens. Its like the boy who cried zombie for an hour. No plot line is continued or sought out. At this point you are 3/4 through the movie and still can't find a plot line.
They get kicked out for the final night but they just walk over a hill and they're 30 feet from the center of everything, so..not really kicked out. Something happens I wont ruin, but its not scary, there's no blood or gore, and it doesn't tie into anything thats already happened.
Then there a bunch of aftermath interviews that just as easily could have been shown anywhere else in the movie and made as much sense, perhaps more. The last of these, and in the last 10 min, is when the possibility of a zombie movie arises. For no explained reason a lesser character attacks someone nonthreatening, and then after the whole team makes a decision, they do the opposite.
In summary: This movie has no plot at all.
Sliders (1995)
Great start to a weak ending
Unfortunately I cannot review each season separately, because the first couple seasons deserve a much better rating than the subsequent ones. The Crew: The show starts out with the usual cast: unexpected male called to be a leader in adverse conditions who finds his confidence and strength through various challenges; the older sage/ wise man/ elder who has experience in all things, but never lives up to the hero; the cute girl next door who has always loved the hero, but never built up the courage to tell him, and the tension builds with each time he saves her; and the comic relief/ strong guy who has no idea whats going on but makes quippy comments and punches people who don't like the hero. In the third season they lose wise sage, and add obnoxious fox. Foxy warrior women only make a show better if you like the person, but this one just seems to pick fights and make bad choices. Her good looks don't matter if the character is ubiquitously hated by all viewers/ characters. The Idea: The show is based on the cast traveling to parallel Earths trying to get back to theirs. The first many episodes have no intertwined plots, and are based solely on the peculiar differences between worlds, and the struggles that causes to stay out of harms way and help the locals overcome tyranny and oppression. The show could have gone on this way so long as they kept thinking up new clever ways to make these worlds different, but they didn't. They started taking from age old plots of scientist mixing animals and humans, invisible person only one crazy person can see, dinosaurs, underground morlocks, back in time to change your worst moments...the works. In season 3 the plot changes to tracking down a murder, even though there's been murders in every other world, this one needs to be stopped, and they go on a rampage trying to stop one guy who's always one step ahead. It's been done. The comic relief stops being comic relief in season 2 and becomes debbie downer. The nerdy hero boy learns boxing and kung-fu at some point and stops being beat up all the time, and wails out the pain. The girl next door becomes a major whiner too, and completely stops pursuing hero-boy. Overall Jist: The first couple seasons are good, but after that they really seem to be riding it to the bank. The acting gets over the top, the stories becoming trite, and the whole situation becomes a joke. Everyone has a sliding device. Nobody knows how to use it. Everyone's hunting everyone. Weird earth-bound aliens are some overarching evil that really done't seem to do as much as people give them credit for.