Reviews

I do not mind the lengthy scenes of wildlife; nor the lengthy scenes of natives drudgingly digging for bits and pieces of diamonds in the muddy rivers. This movie had potential for something riveting; but it is acceptable as something you can just sit back and relax while being entertained. I will continue watching this every year because it is an adventure: filmed in Venezuela, lurking with danger, and casted with people that I like, especially the ominous William Smith (Caribe). What comes Caribe's way is a woman using a grant to take photos of wild animals; accompanied by her Brother; and they hire a guide to help them with the quest. At the end of their first day on the road toward the wilderness, they stop at a ragtag outdoor bar, where they meet Caribe; and all become acquainted. Caribe gets absorbed into the agenda, but after a couple days of traveling, he is primed for displaying his dangerous behavior. With this movie: you don't have to try to fixate yourself on an abundance of action scenes (like in modern Hollywood movies): the unusual motorcycle race between the hired guide and Caribe is the fast paced highlight, which is fair enough. But the significance of the story is the conflict between the female and Caribe, which leads to a particular intensity.

I liked the ice road truckers season three, and some of season four - the India trucking was okay, too (being Deadliest Roads Season One): so I had high expectations for better entertainment with the deadliest roads series for season two, filmed in South America.

But I was wrong.

I was wrong not really because of the location, and the different towns and cities, nor the different culture: I was wrong because of the crew that the production used as drivers - in particular: the two bozo idiot rookies! Those two guys were imbeciles! And they had no right to be criticizing anybody on how a road is to be driven: as with the episode when they scolded a veteran driver on how he should drive after they themselves only drove the road once.

And to top it off: Lisa Kelly: the semi-cutie female from Alaska, turned out to be a real conceded bitch. Lisa's head swelled even more than the rookies after she managed to get through the route. At first she was soooo scarred - then she became gods' greatest gift to trucking after a successful drive.

Okay ... Bolivia and Peru were interesting; but give me the crew from Alaska to watch - or some guys worth liking: without anybody quitting after the second episode like Rick and Dave.

But Hugh Rawlins was great.

Was this program real, or did they become actors, using a script from writers: because it sure seemed like an insane asylum to have to put up with the attitudes of those truckers? I think that some of what goes on is scripted; including drivers quitting or getting fired in order to hype up somebody or a situation. I guess that had to be done, because of what they hauled; stupid things, like: ceramics, plaster dinosaurs, cases of beer (why can't a remote city make their own beer?), real live Llamas (why can't remote communities breed their own livestock?); and then they hauled some normal things, like: cement and metal pipes. BUT ... there are large helicopters that can carry a tank, so why can't it carry those pitiful loads that the trucks had? It would be a lot faster and safer.

Well ... what the hell: the program was still better to watch then 90% of everything else on the tube. Maybe Lisa will try mooning on one of the episodes?

Everyone should have listened to Phil (Mortensen), who was undoubtedly the smartest of them all. Phil only wanted to have a nice day of boating, but a fire upon another boat ruins the day because he's urged to rescue two distressed passengers in need of assistance: one who is an illegal female immigrant, and the other being a sweetie-pie Shemale. But things go wrong for the crew - the sweetie-pie Shemale turns into a gun-totting Shemale, and hijacks the boat because he/she desperately wants to get to a rendezvous point to meet his male lover. Along with the hijacking: the story includes how the crew reacts to their own emotions concerning their life, so other occurrences take place as they argue among themselves about their personal problems. Bill gets drastic because of his frustrations concerning his sorry ass, and cheating wife, and turns his back on his relatives to help the hijackers against his brother-in-law (Mortensen); and from there Phil pits himself against the assholes who are ruining the day by attempting to regain control of his precious boat - which he does do, with a result that creates more of an ordeal. Good movie; it had tension!

Mary Hartman was definitely the main attraction - other than her weird dialog, she would often wipe the front of her teeth to give them a quick cleaning, and sit on the couch to open and close her legs in moment of anxiety, giving the viewers a blue pantie-shot. Mary's mom and dad were good, too: with the dad needing to sit on an air dough nut for his hemorrhoids while he stated the need to hire F. Lee Bailey as his attorney to settle a legal matter. Mary's sister, Debra Lee Scott, did well as a sexy slut. This program gave Mary Kay Place notoriety; who, in this program was a terrible singer, and married to an ugly goof who lost his balls - he often talked about his awaiting operation to obtain a pair of dog gonads as a replacement. This program was so crazy you had to watch it.

Kit Gerardo (Hayden) has a strong motive to get revenge over his mother's death, carrying the quest for twenty years against Captain Luis Del Toro; but when an opportunity arises, instead of killing the man, he collects a ransom from a prisoner he holds, which happens to be Del Toro's fiancée. He also battles other foes, some of which were on land while riding horses after getting commissioned by a French leader to destroy the Spanish settlements - in return he and his men can be rewarded with land to settle on.

Rhonda Fleming was Captain Rouge, and she was a pirate; but this was not discovered until after the first 30 minutes. Now that delay had some circumstances for her, and would have been okay if she still would have maintained her Captain's status, giving off vibrations that definitely could put a man in erection city; but she soon ends up back on her plantation, becoming a victim to Kit Gerardo's men who are on that mission to destroy settlements … stoking her hatred of men.

Part of Hayden's character was to be a lover, and he passes the test since he does not overdo any charming routine. His success with women sure does take a nose dive, though; he finds that the fiancée and Captain Rouge are women who sure are fickle: one minute they want Kit Gerardo dead, and the next minute they want his loins … all this in the midst of a twist in the story.

There were believable characters, authentic clothes, villages … good fighting scenes, and beautiful mature women - a pretty good swashbuckler for only half of the movie being filmed at sea. The reason I gave it a 7 instead of an 8 was because of Rhonda's character not staying in her pirate's mode.

I've liked Rhona Mitra since I first saw her in Get Carter; and I liked seeing her in this movie, even though she was not right for the part. Like all too often, producers and directors miscast the films they make: in this one they should have chosen a bigger woman than Rhona. She did look like she had been pumping some iron, though, which was good to see: the arms and shoulders looked good; but in no way could a woman like her be able to kill the people she killed. (Where are today's Brigitte Nielsen and Cory Everson?). Kurt Russell got away with winning against bigger opponents in Escape from New York; but little Rhona is just 5 foot 4, and beating the guts out of 6 foot 8 inch barbarians. Then we have a girl who had never seen a car before, and low and behold: she and some other dude end up being the quickest pit crew in the history of gassing a vehicle (in order to get away from her daddies barbaric henchmen). Although, in summing it up, I'd have to say: Nevertheless, despite all, this was somewhat entertaining.

I am tired of seeing cutie-pie-guys who never comb their hair and have a see-thru beard. Matthew Settle (leading actor): of course is also a slob: with a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and who drinks instant coffee. But the teenyboppers will love him.

Now you've got to amplify his character by making him a loser (and with bad dialogue; trying to make good on sentences like: puke on the floor, and, hole in the head). He's a goof who has previously expressed to people that he desires to be a writer, but when his past friends inquire about his progress, (6 years later), he covers up about still being on page one.

Page one!

Yes … page one is revealed by a former girlfriend, now extramarital affair partner, making this viewer wonder if he is … who knows … maybe a chronic masturbator because of his lack of writing?

This movie could be considered as a learning film for the young just to show them an imbecile adult. With a good example being when he destroys valuable glass figurines from a mantle in a playful way; probably in order to put the blame on someone else for his own ineptness. Although he does accept blame when he and his former girlfriend talk about the abortion that he failed to do correctly several years before, resulting in her inability to have children in future attempts. Nevertheless, they deem their screw-ups as minor compared to the millionaire husband, who gets condemned for just making some illegal business ventures, and for slapping his unfaithful conniving wife.

So now we've got an immature woman involved, only caring about money, revenge, and participating in the two (yes two) affairs she's involved with. And you will see Mr. Inept parking right in front of the house he wants to enter to commit murder, along with seeing him mosey to an entrance while security guards are patrolling the grounds.

Lots more take place; which includes detectives: one of which is an old buddy of the inept writer, and who has a great deal of problems himself. That detective (Patrik Ersgard) was sort of okay. I did like the millionaire, Currie Graham. And if you can manage to gruel out Mr. inept writer's disposition, you can actually see a decent story take place - WITH A FEW UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS.

The treasure part of this movie is stupid, because diamonds don't emerge naturally from ground level. There is some gold finding, too - that separate escapade is done by a Nazi and a topless native woman (who is actually Latino instead of Amazonian). But I have to admit that that woman looked good. The Nazi (Pleasance) is okay, and I found myself on his side while searching for treasure in order to build a better world - (what the hell) - Though opponents to that have their way. There is a need to mention that there is a goof who is searching for oil; and he is, by far, one of the worst actors in history. The goof's girlfriend isn't too bad looking though; but miss goody two-shoes eventually shows her devious side. The main characters are the diamond getters: performed by Whitman and his two nagging companions, who travel through the jungle yelling and pointing guns at each other. Fortunately they are given the greater majority of film time, making the story passable: with the scenery and Whitman making the highlights.

A whole lotta naked going on, going on, going on, going on!

There's so much nakedness that inserts of horses dumping manure would be welcomed as an alternative.

What you see here are imbecile women who need to be gagged: all the time they are yapping away like kindergarten children - frolicking outside in the courtyard and in the shower - not shutting up even when they're in their cells.

The guards are always finding an extraordinary amount of weapons in the prisoner's bodies. When discipline is implemented: beatings don't seem to change the convicts attitudes; which maybe because they know that their bodies will endure the punishment, and not give any part of them (especially their clean shaved legs) any bruising.

The guards and warden are probably better looking … if you (like me) prefer mature women. The warden: a blonde, (above and below) shedding her clothes several times like the prisoners.

Drama and a plot … Sorry, I missed any particular reason; although, the prisoners relentless show of defiance might be the story. They do come up with an idea to escape, and when some get away; those women turn out to be scumbag killers instead of imbeciles. They each find a man to hideout with, and that's when mild nudity turns into some hardcore action. But their stupidity takes over when it comes to managing their freedom.

This had some of the worst acting in the annals of acting. The ship captain was a horrible actor. The main character was almost as bad, while he narrated his way through this $H*T (ala Tom Neal in 'Detour'). There was a goof who played a ghost of the mansions master; and he was just that, a goof. The dungeon woman with plaster on her face (an idea of making her look weird) did one of the worst dying efforts I've ever seen, when getting stabbed by, a letter opener? from the token beauty. And the music, sometimes, seemed like it came from a b-western. The only good part (if you want to decide to laugh at this movie) was the black servant who looked to be dressed like Mrs. Santa Claus when she was in her hot-to-trot days. Unfortunately, he was pretty bad at dying, too, after the master (the old man who proved to be in better physical condition then the strapping black dude-during their pursuit of the main idiot character and the beauty) shot Mrs. hot-to-trot while he was pooped out - talking with his face in the dirt. I think this was made by some guys in Sandusky, Ohio: using Lake Erie as an ocean, and having fun with thinking they were somebody.

Dolph is an assassin who takes on his last assignment. He's experienced, mature, and filled with common sense - trying to teach the naive and deadly wannabe, Gina, to be discriminative and aware. This takes place in a metropolitan building,(not yet finished), overlooking the bridge leading from the US into Canada. It's also where Dolph and Gina go through a period of adjusting from their previous troubled time together. There were some flashbacks, which I liked; they fit in well at showing their past job together, and the reason for their problematic rejoining. But during that time is when a minor flaw occurs (concerning authenticity); it's about a security guard snorting cocaine - (his job must pay awful well) - and he snorts it several times during the night. But what the hell, it helps him become more of a sex-craved maniac looking to fill-in a boring night: a romp through the penthouse with the sexy Gina as the participant. He does a great job as a weirdo guard, and is an excellent filler for action during the assassins set up. But . . . Then after Gina fights off a sexual attack with the guard, she then gets a sexual feeling for Dolph, of course. This happens near the window that's been cutout in a circled manner for the upcoming assassination attempt - you'll see her fine shapely hips while laying on the floor. Although Gina doesn't have an ounce of toughness to her, she still does all right as the female assassin. The action scenes were good; some extreme, but not too outrageous like a lot of other flicks. And maybe I could include that the Canadians seem to have a higher percentage of good action movies than Hollywood.

There were a few flaws and minor loss of excitement in the second half of the movie. But still, this was a satisfying watch. And a satisfying directorial effort, too; making me realize that some women are getting better than men. Profanity, nudity, and raunchiness, are acceptable trademarks for a mature film; and along with the harsh story, this was a refreshing movie; better than the ever-growing action film. With me, the main detective did well at acting - I had never seen him before. Meg Ryan did well - I think I like her better at this age she has. But with Jennifer Jason Leigh, I don't like her better in her elder stage; she was too soft - not aging well. The second time I saw this (5 months later) I thought it was as good as the first time. With some mysteries, once I've seen them I don't want to see them again for several years; but with, In the Cut, it's got a certain style that can be re-watched every year.

The detectives, judges, doctors, (you name them), they are all getting younger each year. Hollywood is getting more unbelievable all the time. It's a shame. What we have here is a teenage looking female detective on the hunt for one of Frankenstein's monsters. The usual here-and-there pursuit takes place; all done in the usual low budget nowhere places. Helios (Frankenstein) has a beautiful wife who he tries to make better when he gets the urge, or needs to do so. Then the first creation/monster of Helios arrives, but he is wanting to help the detectives get the man who created him; but the original creation, unfortunately, is not used enough. All in all, this movie was not worthy of making, unless betters actors as detectives were chosen.

Hollywood is going with the flow of satisfying the decline in the audience's lack of class. Or is Hollywood the cause of it? Whatever the case, too much of America thought that this was a good movie, and rated it 4 points better than it deserves. Weird movies are okay, but this one was too slow, boring, and ridiculous. No doubt this was conjured by someone putting a finger to their head: where-upon saying, `I think I'll write something stupid-Hollywood loves that type of sh*t.' You might be able to hold some interest through the boredom, but it ends with you shaking your head. And get a better looking Blonde. But the brunette was attractive. I did like the director with the glasses.

A sick mind, or a million dollars . . . Which is better? Currently I only have the sick mind: and this movie feeds that fairly well! The version I saw was 81 minutes instead of the 90 minute full length film: but still, I would have to inform you to NOT use the comment from, Quebec, Canada. Because, the lack of 9 minutes probably would not have deleted scenes of any loot from a robbery, or some insurance whatever, or information about a woman in prison for killing her lover: none of those statements was correct from what I saw. There was a prisoner who killed her father, and one who killed her brother. But . . . You'll have to watch to find out what really took place about one of those killings. And let me tell you about the female warden, Monica Swinn; she may not have been as sexy as Brigitte Nielsen's portrayal of a warden, but Monica still had appeal, and did very well with being a mean bitch. The eyepiece she wears is a good touch, too, along with the Nazi book she reads. And though her voice was dubbed, that voice was well chosen. The warden loves seeing nude prisoners get mistreated; and when you see the nudity, you're seeing a film much better then your average soft-core movie. You will also see a great looking old prison; or it's a castle by the sea? And finally, you'll see the jungle area between the prison and the sea where an escape takes place. But . . . the ending is not your typical Hollywood bullsh*t.

If you like adventure outside the United States, then this movie is for you! We got Mexican architect and scenery! --Conspiracy, backstabbing, multiple violent acts, rebels and comradeship; also some sexual situations, too: all-contributing to the action movie, in an interesting version. One possible obstacle is that, even though Daniel Bernhardt is very appealing, and does well at projecting toughness: because he resembles a duplicate of Jean-Claude Van Damme, settling into Bernhardt might take awhile. But this movie is better than many of Van Damme's movies, particularly when the twist arrives: when, `Senora Presidente Bitch' initiates the main gist of the story.

It started off okay: the Italian heist scene; But when one of the thief crew, (Edward Norton), decides to take the gold for himself, the situation resulted into the rest of the crew ending up in freezing water, for several minutes - the death time exposure would kill anybody, but the crew lived through it. There must have been some heavy doses of vitamin intake by those guys in preparation for unusual events, because, not only did they live through that, they sat around on the rocks beside the water, in that freezing cold, pondering their next move, which of course, was revenge. And then, the double-crossing 'Norton' ended up in Los Angeles, of all places. Shamefully the movie reverted to a lower class atmosphere. With the 35 million in gold, Norton then buys a house that looks to be worth 30 million. Doesn't figure? To which then all he does, and is concerned about, is to watch TV. Mark Wahlberg gets Charlize Theron, (the daughter of the only crew member to die), to help with the revenge plan; she's a safe-cracking specialist with an idiot passion for driving outrageously. Some hype dung there. Matter of fact there's hype dung everywhere. You've got your typical computer geek--nothing new there. But you don't have your typical ladies man--this guy looks like a street fighter losing his hair, and he's used to seduce a TV cable woman for the purpose of arranging, (wouldn't you know), the look-alike Charlize into getting inside Norton's house: a house that Charlize scans for a safe that might have the gold. Okay, continuing in short: getting to that safe is complex and watchable--street traffic scenes highlight the obtaining of the truck containing the safe. But . . . Man O Man . . . With those dinky cars that they used to transport the gold: one scene--get this, they went into a subway rail system by driving along the platform and then take a right turn to get onto those tracks (ten feet below)! Man, that's just so damn undoable: in actuality they would have nose-dived . . . Crashed and piled up. And that's this movie; it's full of the undoable! --Made because Hollywood only cares about entertainment, not quality. Edward Norton had been getting some respect from me, but now I've lowered him a notch or two. As for the rest of the crew (other than Sutherland): give them pink slips and directions to the Salvation Army.

. . . The only flaw was that Lance Henriksen was too old for the character he played, or that Jeff Wincott was too young for his character. You would find out what I mean when the ending arrives. I liked the Seattle area where this movie took place. Lance Henriksen's acting was very good--Joan Severance, too, who was looking fine as always, especially in that bathtub, doing her own version of a masturbating routine: if I remember right, ala Sharon Stone from 'Sliver.' This, and other Joan Severance movies need to be put on DVD!

Usually with a movie like this: after five to ten minutes I would be fast-forwarding through the rest of it, and mark it down to being watched. But for some reason I stuck with it, and every few minutes it seemed to get better. Eventually it didn't seem too bad. And when it ended I thought it was all right. The leading actor . . . From time to time he was acceptable. But everyone else was okay, probably because they played odd characters who kept my attention. The movie is not as predictable as you might think.

BUT ... after 20 years of not watching this movie, I now have lowered my rating from a 7 to a 4.

If you haven't been spoiled by modern society and brainwashed with political subliminal television making you into a sheep, then you will clearly enjoy this movie! You will like setting yourself within the era of the early 1800's, experiencing the freedom and danger of the wild west. `Got sand in her, she does,' Brian Keith says when an Indian woman wants to latch on to Charlton Heston; which leads to the normal function of having a mate, and that becomes the main story because the squaw‘s mate from the Blackfoot tribe pursues in getting her back. The Wyoming Grand Teton national park is an excellent location; it sets the scene for Heston who loves to trap beaver; it sets the scene for a period of time when their where few luxuries; it sets the scene for the battle between Heston and the Blackfoot warrior. A buddy film that's fun, and sad . . . So watch, feel, and enjoy the action.

It could be said that America is now an imbecile society: because this movie exemplifies a mature theme with mature actors that participate in a mature story, and the film has been overlooked at being good entertainment. It is underrated, and that's surprising because of its romance and exotic locations: two of the basic and desirable necessities in entertainment - (along with an attractive actress and actor; which this does have) - (no bimbo representations to tantalize the teenies). Though it may be true that there are uncommon events that take place to provide the story, (one being that the drug induced Gidley gets hypnotized to carry a list of people in her mind, in order to get passed customs), this movie is not dull or slow; which makes me want to say that it's a shame that way too many American viewers are lacking style! Come on people, watch this movie with patience, and rate it higher.

Why can't Carter live his own life instead of being barked at by his sister in-law about not being home to hold his brother's hand over the past years? That was an early annoyance on his hectic quest to find his brother's killer. Also: why can't a grown-up women (his niece) who chose to take drugs and have sex with a man and another woman settle for what she had done? Actually, she took that decision better than Carter; cause Carter, being a professional thug, and not being open minded on the matters that women are fickle, had to take the action she participated in as a rape; which he then took action against the man he considered a rapist. He took action against his colleagues from Las Vegas who had trailed him to Seattle because of his own intervention with adultery. (It's okay for Carter to involve himself in bad decisions but anyone else). Eventually he gets to the man who killed his brother, and has a vigorous fist fight to his hearts content. (Which was not too bad of a scene. Better than a shootout). Unfortunately, Hollywood being as it is nowadays, cast a geek as the billionaire who is indirectly involved with the brother's murder; but other than that particular miscast the other characters were in form. Not really too bad as a remake. My personal choice though would have been to have Mickey Rourke as Carter.

Pretty fair acting . . . I'd have to admit. John Ryan was the best to see. But . . . what's all the hype about ??? This movie is no great adventure; it's filmed in either an apartment or a bar. There have been other devious women movies that were better. Much better! 'The Last Seduction' puts 'Bound' to shame. So just because lesbianism is involved (which there really wasn't much of when it comes to actual contact) should not make this a special movie. In no way should 'Bound' be rated above a 6 out of 10 for its genre, and that's being generous.