mafster's Reviews

Tycus (1999 Video)

1/10

12 August 2007

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. My lifetime was drastically wasted by this pile of stink. I would rather chew off my arm than watch this film again. Painful story line, painful characters and a painful two hours.

The best way of describing this movie is a follows:- I would rather stick pins in my eyes and cut out my brain than watch another minute of this tripe.

Advice is to stay well clear and let your local dustman do you a favour of removing this rubbish.

Lin, you told me this was good!!!!

Goodaleebyeload.

4 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Superman Returns (2006)

9/10

Superman HAS Returned

17 July 2006

Why is it these days, when films like this hit the horizon of release that we feel a little concerned? So many let downs with Hollywood chucking loads of remakes that just embarrass themselves more. Then you get the sequels or maybe horror films with CGI's which just DON'T work.

However, this film does and it does it in style.

I don't think it is as good as Superman 2 but it's good. Great effects for a start that look and sound great. The acting roles all fill in well and what a difficult task to wear the cape of the late Christopher Reeve. Kevin Spacey I thought was superb. His evil nature that lay dormant under a disturbingly intelligent and crazy individual, he played the part with brilliance.

Don't think there's much more to say and there can't be when there are only minor flaws such as a few holes in the storyline but it doesn't matter.

One thing I did notice and that was a couple of young kids with those smiles on their faces after the show. Took me back to when I first saw Superman as child with my family. Come to think of it, I also saw a few elderly people there as well and that was interesting as you don't get many going to the cinema in my area. It's a great atmosphere so my suggestion is go to the cinema and watch it. Superman MUST be watched at the cinema.

The best thing out of all this is...Superman has returned

0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Lord of War (2005)

8/10

Unexpected slap in the face!!!

17 July 2006

I put this film off for quite a while and finally getting round to it, I watched it for no more than 15 minutes before falling asleep. I gave it one more try and was stuck to the screen the whole time.

I thought it was going to be this action film with machine guns firing and never running out and explosions and that but there is a film that has a very serious undertone to it with a slight twist of humour.

I found Nicholas Cage brought a good performance to this role and everything that he done which effected the world also effected his family.

Some slick sharp thinking made him the great salesman but not of cars...but of guns. It also left this disturbing thought in your mind that this is actually going on in the world and knowing how cold and evil this world really is.

If the slickness of his car-salesman tactics had been thoroughly thought through then I probably would have notched the score up a little but still a great film and a real eye-opener.

3 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Joey (2004–2006)

1/10

Runaway - Toxic Waste Alert!!!

12 May 2006

Oh dear. First we had 'Friends', the most over-rated pile of stink I have ever had the misfortune of viewing and then THAT pile of stink goes and produces another load of stink...'Joey'. Well, for my review on 'Friends' you'll have to look back but it wasn't good but I can now reveal there is a show that is lower than that of 'Friends'...yep 'Joey'. I had to watch it to see if was any good and gave it a small chance, and it failed on every level. No excitement, no comedy and NO POINT. If you're a 'Friends' fanatic, then I think this will disappoint you. As for me, I am still suffering from being poisoned by this gutter trash.

I beg people that read this review to spare a thought on your hard earned cash and buy something more amazing like...a pack of staples.

The summary of this painful experience is this, I feel ill from watching this rubbish and will remain ill until my mind eliminates those horrid memories of 'Joey' so I will be on the road to recovery...AVOID.

8 out of 25 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Scrubs (2001–2010)

8/10

A real shock...

12 May 2006

I was very surprised to like this comedy. I am one who does not like American humour but I love this. It reminds me of a TV 'Dramedy' we have over in the UK called teachers. The characters are consistent throughout the three seasons that I have viewed and very enjoyable. To be honest, I didn't get on with it at first but given time, I'm glad I gave it an extra chance to prove itself.

The soundtrack through the series is well chosen, the tunes really do fit in with the story of what is actually happening and there are some episodes that have a serious undertone which many of us could learn from.

I love the use of actually getting inside the characters minds (day dreams etc.) which gives it that extra dimension of comedy and stretches the limits of creativity, there is just so much that can be done with that idea.

Some lovely guest star appearances and topped off by supporting characters that stay loyal to the show rounds this up as a great US Comedy which I (i can't believe it myself) adore.

63 out of 88 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Christine (1983)

9/10

Remarkably brilliant

24 July 2005

Warning: Spoilers

Again, when translation from book to film very rarely works it's hard to watch films after reading a great piece of work. Christine is no exception. Reading the book was a fantastic piece of writing but surprised that I was, the cut down size to viewing format actually worked.

Cuts were made of course but that really didn't effect the film and the point of the film. The love triangle elements between Christine, Leigh and Arnie still strongly exists and you actually feel for the car especially towards the end. The soundtrack to the film is wonderfully selected and executed especially the part where Moochie gets killed. The car sits casually while playing a really cool track with fingers clicking. Then burst to life with fury. It gave the car real character. The actors were also chosen well which made the viewing more comfortable.

John Carpenter I think hit home here. To make a car feel like it has real feeling without making it into a spirited monster is surely an achievement.

To the book, this film is still a watered down version but a proud film it stands along a collection of horror films. I love it.

2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Collateral (2004)

10/10

Tom Cruise - Better than I thought!

10 July 2005

This film could be a major turning point in Tom's career. He plays Vincent with cold-blooded charm. It is wonderful to watch a character stay flawless throughout an entire film and not be OTT with Hollywood FX etc. The dialogue between Vincent and Max is brilliant and the tug of hate they exchange brings out some chilling truths.

I love the way this movie has been filmed. It almost shows you the dark side of LA as well as the dark side of life.

The soundtrack cruises through the film beautifully. It is well timed at crucial scenes and when the film is done, you just want to buy the soundtrack to listen to.

Everyone that I have recommended this film to have been well pleased. However, Tom Cruise was sensational in this film and I was never keen on him. This film sits high in the rankings table for me and I am telling those who haven't seen it - YOU MUST!

172 out of 229 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Teachers (2001–2004)

9/10

Top Class Television minus a couple of Seasons.

8 July 2005

Warning: Spoilers

This is great stuff. Really great. I fell in love with Teachers after being forced to watch it. Truly wonderful television at it's best. All the characters are a joy to watch and I mean ALL. Simon Casey, played superbly by Andrew Lincoln, seems to be the main focus point. Supported very well by characters Susan, Jenny, Kurt and Brian along with The Head Mistress, Bob, Liz and Carol. Kurt and Brian seem to be the main comedy and Susan the rational one. Jenny is like a split personality of good and bad and Liz is the local gossip queen.

The characters play so well off of each other that it's an actual joy to watch. What is even greater about this show is the things you notice when you watch it again. The little things. Like a sheep on the school grounds or maybe teachers fighting on the grounds why the pupils look on. Brilliant stuff.

Season 2 was also fantastic. At first I didn't warm to JP but over time, I actually like him in this. Penny's okay, possibly the weakest character of the second series but not really flawed if you know what I mean. The music was also well chosen. Totally fantastic.

Now, like with a lot of good things, they have to come to an end and with teachers, for me, it came in Season 3. Three characters were gone and replacements were inserted. The female replacement was a pointless effort and a boring character. What were they thinking!!! Simon, being one of the actors to part with the show, does return for a few episodes and does lift the morale of the show. However, no matter how good he is, there is still a void from the other two characters which hurts deeply.

Season 4, now what was going on here. They should have just not bothered. I hate to say this but I have finally come to terms with it. This Season is thew worst and most pointless effort ever. I watched it over and over again to try a like it. Sorry but no way. This Season would have been more enjoyable if it had stolen my life savings and ran away.

Season 1 & 2 are brilliant and fantastic and well you see my point. Season 3 is still worth watching but Season 4, you must stay well clear of.

22 out of 23 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge (1994–1995)

10/10

Top range comedy

6 July 2005

When I first watched this show, I wasn't sure. My friend told me how funny it was but at first it seemed a bit normal. However, I gave it a chance and watched some more. It was too late, I was hooked.

This show is brilliantly written and the jokes are so different to other comedies it feels refreshingly different. It does require a different view point for it's comedy but when looking from that perspective, this show stands tall.

The character himself, Alan Partridge, is a wonderful creation and Steve Coogan has cemented his name in comedy history. I love everything about this character and can quite easily watch this show over and over again.

The funniest thing is, you seem to be laughing at Alans crashing career which is sick but you just don't care.

The best part of this show was the ABBA medley. Truly brilliant.

This is comedy at it's very best. The supporting characters are truly wonderful and as for Alan Partridge himself, fantastic and brilliant.

AHA.....

10 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Fawlty Towers (1975–1979)

10/10

British Comedy is The Best

6 July 2005

Fawlty Towers. All there is to this series is twelve episodes. All twelve are absolutely fantastic. Although, a tad frustrating, this is John's style. It works brilliantly. I particularly like the episode 'Communication Problems' with the annoying Mrs Richards. Super-funny.

I also believe that they ended this show at the right time just as they had finished 'The Office'. They had basically done all they could with the show and really could not take it any further without disastrously repeating the jokes which would of possibly had drastic consequences.

The series is written perfectly with characters well defined and understood in the early episodes that makes for some enjoyable viewing.

This show is a great example of how good comedy was when insulting jokes (The Germans episode) are used without offending the viewing audience unlike this day and age where viewers, for some strange reason, take more of an offence about the slightest thing.

If you haven't seen this show (can't imagine why) then you must!! 10 out of 10.

4 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Only Fools and Horses (1981–2003)

He who dares...wins!

6 July 2005

Well, this is a great show. I think a lot of people will agree with me on that. However, it's more than that. I remember waiting for the Christmas T.V. papers to be in the shops so you could look for the Christmas Special details. It's one of those family comedy programs too. You also feel at home with the Trotters. The show makes you feel comfortable and the jokes are brilliant that no matter how many times you hear them they still have the brilliance to trigger that laughter again.

The characters are all widely different and well crafted. The actors/actresses should be very proud to create such flawless characters.

The only problem I had with the show was the last three. They creators should of finished on episode 'Time On Our Hands'. The jokes, although they still worked, seemed drained along with the characters personalities which made the last three episodes drastically ineffective. Maybe due to the absence of a couple of the cast and the circumstances surrounding this, possibly messes with the shows structure. Who knows! However, still doesn't change how great the show is.

PS: Be careful when buying the DVD 'A Royal Flush'. This contains extreme cuts to which I will be writing a formal complaint to the BBC.

3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

The Office (2001–2003)

10/10

It will stand tall for generations.

5 July 2005

I just love this show. Although I wanted more, Gervais and Merchant were correct to end the show when they did.

I have watched my DVDs of this show so many times and laugh every time. It offers a refreshingly new alternative in comedy. Ricky Gervais is absolutely brilliant in his role as David Brent. The supporting characters are also wonderful and hardly any flaws.

With The Office and also Little Britain, the disturbing thought is 'there is actually people out there like the characters created in these shows'.

I think The Office is the cream of British comedy and it is something that the Americans unfortunately can't match even with an attempt at remaking it for an American audience.

Any comedy fan who understands talented humour at it's best, should own this DVD collection. There is no exceptions!

5 out of 10 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

8/10

Very good apart from the small flaws...

14 June 2005

Warning: Spoilers

I had no doubt in my mind that this film was going to be anything other than good. The start throws the viewer into a space battle. Ships are everywhere. Looks absolutely fantastic. However, most of the film looks brilliant. The main reason why this film worked for me is the story roles beautifully from start to finish. The politics are well explained and it ties all the loose ends together. It actually makes the viewer very much interested in the politics and plays a major part in setting the story for the final three episodes.

However, with all the polish and shine and the super-strong story line holding together, there were a couple of flaws which does drop the rating a little but fortunately does not effect the main circumstances for whats actually going on. Though, it does leave the viewer asking him/herself - "WHAT!!?" Whether it was to do with bad scripting, bad acting from Hayden Christensen or bad directing from George Lucas.

******* SPOILER ******* First problem was the scene at the very beginning and the execution of Count Dooku. Palpatine is encouraging Anakin to execute him but he will not due to the Jedi code. Then he kills the Count with no real conviction and then cries "I should'not of done that!" Secondly, when Anakin stops Windu from killing Palpatine, he then sees Palpatine murder Windu and then cries something similar to "I should not of done that. It was wrong." Then in two seconds without threat, he swears alliance to the Dark Side, Palpatine.

******* END OF SPOILER ******

Now, to me the conversion of anger and hate was so rushed that you felt like you missed a chapter and with bad acting....I think I would say it was Lucas' fault.

The ending was truly wonderful and brilliant.

Other than those minor flaws, I was pretty much happy with it but felt that a couple of pieces were still missing and felt the end product was slightly rushed.

Star Wars fans will enjoy nether-less.

2 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Nip/Tuck (2003–2010)

10/10

So....Tell Me What You Don't Like About This Show...

11 June 2005

...Well Doctor, I actually love it.

When I was forced to watch an episode from season 1 I found it refreshing. So, taking the DVDs one by one, I watched them all. I was totally hooked. I had discovered a Drama which was "Disturbingly Perfect" in every way. The characters are well created and have lots of depth. You grow to love the characters and by the end of the first season, you know them well.

The stories are brilliantly written and also have this dark sense of humour which you almost feel embarrassed to laughing at.

Roll on Season 2 and again, written beautifully and real depth to the characters this time round. The Season is an emotional roller-coaster and fails to disappoint. Leading up to the Season Finale of Season 2, well it left me craving for more NIP/TUCK fix. Loads of questions are left spinning in your mind.

Season 2 contains 16 episodes (16 hours of greatness) and I blistered all these away in 2 Days. Sleep didn't matter to me, even around work.

Full credit goes to the actors, especially the main three. Truly wonderful to watch.

I am currently agonisingly waiting for Season 3. It seems so long that I am going to have to replay all the DVDs of Season 1 & 2 until Season 3 is delivered.

This show is a MUST. This will have you seriously addicted.

10 out of 10.

3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

GoldenEye 007 (1997 Video Game)

Clearly a milestone

20 December 2004

When I first picked this game up to buy in '97 (i think) I was unsure. When I finally plugged it into my machine, the magic was unleashed. I have never seen a game become so obsessed by non-gamers and gamers alike. People would invite me round to theirs and visa versa for beers, kebabs and GoldenEye.

The one player mode was fantastic. I mean, you are James Bond with a gun. But not just a gun, gadgets too! Splendid. When no-one else was around and my girlfriend popped in, I was always on GoldenEye. I think it nearly came between us too. I was always on it, bunking college, never sleeping.

Then there's the multi-player. I introduced people to the N64 and GoldenEye and they were all glued and then it spread like a bug. The enjoyment of playing brother vs brother vs sister vs rubbish player.

If you wanted to decide something then Complex Level with Golden Gun for 10 Minutes. Unbeatable.

This game is a pin point in the history of games. I have been searching years for a possible replacement, waiting for a game to better it but I still have to get the N64 out and BANG. I am actually doubting now that there will ever be a better FPS game than this.

What was it in 1997 that made this game so special? I don't think I could ever answer that. Truth is, I actually own the game and when I pick it up and move it about and plug in or whatever, the memories flood back and in it goes again for a replay.

One last word...

No game will come close to this game and that includes Halo, EA FPS games, Quake etc... I mean, I find it amazing that when a new FPS is coming out, all the mags and stuff are all comparing it to GoldenEye. This game has earned it's right to stand alone as one of the greatest FPS - NO - GAMES of all time.

Truly Wonderful.

10 out of 10

0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Scream 3 (2000)

3/10

What the Hell!!!

18 December 2004

Please people. Do not support these movies. They are seriously bad for your health. This film is destroying the horror genre which was so proudly established by classics such as Friday the 13th, Halloween, Elm Street, Psycho etc.

Stupid rules, stupid ideas and the longer people buy these films the longer I have to suffer and watch them to review.

The only thing good about this film is Jay and Silent Bob and maybe the end....when the credits role up.

Erm...this film is like a bad smell that is lingering and finally starts to clear the room when people finally see they have been brain washed but too late, they are then infected and have to be burned. ARGGGGHHHHHHH.

2 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

The Village (2004)

3/10

Gutter Trash

18 December 2004

What is happening to the world? I expected good things from this Director and this Movie. How wrong I was. This could have been so good. Instead, I was more concerned that I had just handed over a few quid which would have better spent in the pub.

I also believe that this film should be investigated by the Trading Standards as the trailer misleads the people of the world that this is a scary horror and a good film.

DO NOT BE FOOLED. When the end finally approached I had this sudden urge to find someone behind the kiosk and demand my money back. If they refused, I would then make them watch it but then I would painfully have too watch as well.

Alternative and more useful idea than watching this movie:- Take your money and buy some out of date food and eat it. Then stand on one leg for 18 hours while poking yourself in the eye.

6 out of 13 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Van Helsing (2004)

2/10

I can't believe it!!!

17 December 2004

Warning: Spoilers

At first I was looking forward to this film. Me being a big horror fanatic so am slightly biased bare in mind. Halfway through I felt sick.

If I'm not mistaken - The Director of The Mummy done this. Figures. Three superb legends have been taken and distorted to a silly comical adventure. What the hell are they doing? Stupid CGI's make it look even more fake. Someone please bring back some classic horror films.

The only real good thing about this movie was the trailer and the Actor who played Dracula.

******SPOILERS*********

As for Frankenstein. What is he, so friendly and wimpy being. I mean at the beginning He looked way powerful throwing stuff and then He's trembling like a coward while on the run. CRAP.

******END**************

PLEASE PEOPLE - DO NOT BUY THIS. YOUR MONEY COULD BE USED IN MORE PRODUCTIVE WAYS LIKE A WISHING WELL AND THEN MAKE A WISH THAT YOU NEVER SEE THIS TRASH.

My summary - While watched, I felt like I had been stamped on by Frankenstein, bitten in half by Wolfman and had all my blood sucked out of me by Dracula.

0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

9/10

Wow!!!

17 December 2004

My thoughts were 2 hours plus of sleep when taking my girlfriend to see this movie. How wrong I was. The sound was amazing. The story was sensational and plays with the audiences emotions from beginning to end.

The cast was basically rather good. The lead girl who played Christine was ideally cast. Brilliant.

The music was well composed and if I remember correctly, a majority of the audience clapped when the movie finished (must have been on some opera trip!!!).

If you like Moulin Rouge, Music, Love Stories and getting all emotional then try this. Well worth seeing at least once.

3 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

9/10

Amazing, Splendid, Excellent, Superb

7 August 2004

This was probably one of the best movies I have seen in a long time at the cinema. From the moment the movie started I was sucked into Tarantino's world. The filming styles which he uses to film the movie is wonderful. The action scenes are executed so well and have you on the edge of your seat. It's hard to describe this film without revealing any details.

My partner can't stand these fighting type movies but she absolutely loved this. She was left, like myself, excited about the wait for Volume 2.

In my own opinion I would say that this film is Tarantino's finest - with volume 2 next to it.

A truly remarkable movie that will be played over and over again.

0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

10/10

A Remarkable Experience

7 August 2004

When I went to the cinema with my partner to watch Moulin Rouge, I was not looking forward to it. To me it started off really weird and was tempted to leave within ten mins. but then the music kicked in and BAM! i was hooked.

The music was sensational. Some of them were mixed with different love songs and strolled along beautifully. The more upbeat songs had the feet tapping to the beats.

The movie was well coordinated with colour. It managed to set the right mood levels from glamour to sad scenes. Truly remarkable.

The acting was of the highest calibre and some actually song the songs which helped blend then film together.

It also had it's sad moments and it is advised to take some tissues in with you for the tearful persons.

Owning this now on DVD, it has been played more than average and rightly so. A truly wonderful experience and a great musical which will live long in the history of cinema.

1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Friends (1994–2004)

1/10

Please someone save us!!!

7 August 2004

Well, where do I start.

This television series (won't call it comedy) is the sorriest pile of rubbish I have ever seen. The funniest thing about this series is that it somehow is called a comedy. I can never see anything funny about it at all. The jokes are like those cheap ones you get out of Christmas crackers.

I don't know if it's the American humour but I know there are other American comedies out there that are a lot better than Friends.

They've taken a perfectly good song and ruined that too. When it plays up on the radio I feel physically sick.

The acting is soooo cheap and tacky. The attempted jokes are basic and flat. I think the writers need a good lesson in comedy. Here's a good list:- Only Fools & Horses, Fawlty Towers, Keeping Up Appearances, The Office, Alan Partirdge and the list goes on.

I think Friends is as enjoyable as having acid thrown into your face or maybe being strapped to a firework and sent miles up into the sky.

74 out of 199 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

5/10

????

4 August 2004

I can feel the clouds gathering. It means that I was not impressed.

The first Matrix was great.

This however was very strange. I was expecting an awesome sequel but what did I see, far from awesome. I mean it had it's moments which is why a gave it a generous 5 out of 10 but in large areas it was cheap. It TRIED to lose you in the story and i think sometimes there can be too much action.

Sadly for me I haven't watched part 3 yet and cant be bothered after watching this. So I think you get the picture.

I think there's a trilogy set on the shelves. Well I would just buy the first one on it's own. It stands so proud without the other two.

My experience with Matrix Reloaded made me feel like my brain had been sucked out of my nose with a hoover. BEWARE!

0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

East Is East (1999)

1/10

A film we could do without.

4 August 2004

Another waste of time. I watched and wondered what all the hype was about. I paid full price for this film when it hit the shelves and after watching it, I felt like I had been mugged.

I couldn't see anything funny about it. I mean...why am I actually bothering to review this rubbish. It must be because I am trying to save some people from wasting their time and hard earned cash buying this junk.

Just to set the picture and this is no word of a lie - I actually GAVE MINE AWAY!!! Says it all really. Please don't watch as it will feel like you were sucked into the black hole with nothing surrounding you and knowing you were gonna starve to death.

PS. I think they should put a TOXIC sign on the cover!

3 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)

1/10

Approximately 80 Mins. of Suffering

4 August 2004

Watching this film made me see the truth...I'd rather have pins impaled into my eyes than waste a second watching this...erm...film!!! The only thing from this series that actually gets better with age is Leslie Easterbrook. I beg people who are curious to stay clear or actually watch it and understand why you would want to blow yourself up for fun afterwards.

I have also noticed that they are planning an eighth adventure with some of the old stars. Let's just hope they can create a GOOD film this time round otherwise my eyes are gonna sting!

So a 0 out of 10 from me and it will never shift...well maybe the other way to -1.

3 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

mafster

Reviews

Tell Your Friends

Recently Viewed