jim-2441's Reviews

Watchmen (2009)

10/10

Most violent, gory and sexy comic book movie ever.

16 March 2009

I consider myself to be nearly immune to movie gore and violence, having been an ambulance EMT and emergency nurse. That said, many of the images in this film were almost uncomfortably shocking.

The sex was amazing! Malin Akerman is beautiful to begin with, but was presented as about the most alluring character I have ever seen in a film. The sex scenes were very graphic, and showed the best and least-known benefit to being, and having sex with, a superhero.

The story line was incredibly complicated, but presented in a way that made it easy to follow without losing sight of the characters. The characters were deeply flawed, and their problems seemed so much more real than those of the X-Men or Batman, for example.

I'd recommend the film to anyone with a strong stomach who wants to leave the theater completely turned on.

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Body of War (2007)

10/10

Sickening

15 February 2009

I expected to be depressed when I was finished watching this film but I had hoped there would be some inspiration within it. There is none. The filmmakers could not put something there that does not exist.

These are the people who do the work in this country, and who volunteer to protect it. They have been betrayed. We all have. Our love for each other and our vote are all we seem to have left. This film tells us not to waste either of these things.

I would like to tell the family portrayed in this film that I am glad I have gotten to feel a little of their pain. I can't offer help, and I don't imagine my sympathy helps much if at all.

I've become involved in a documentary myself. It's called "Fuel". I'm credited as "assistant to the director". The film speaks out against war, greed, and corporate welfare. I hope it can help a little in making our country more independent, and maybe a little less likely to go to war again.

I give my thanks to the makers of "Body of War". I hope many people watch it. I don't think it will change minds, but it's important to know the hurt caused by war.

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Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

4/10

Slightly tolerable

27 January 2009

Everyone in this film seems willing to read their lines and hit their marks. There's lighting and direction. The sound seems to match what's going on in the film. The characters remember their names. The mall appears to be an actual mall.

The star has reasonably good control of the Segway he rides in nearly every scene of the film. His character calls for him to be fat, which he appears to be.

I might have laughed once. I don't remember. I felt more discomfort than interest. I don't imagine the cast or writers ever imagined the film might be very good, but it appears to be making money.

I think I've written enough words now.

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Land of the Lost (1974–1977)

10/10

Sid and Marty Croft on good drugs!

27 December 2008

This was the best show I remember from my childhood. The Sleestak were clearly big-eyed representations of "The Man". Anywhere you went, they were lurking there to kill your buzz.

There was one Sleestak that was friendly. He was an old man who knew how to use crystal, I mean crystals to get s**t done.

Chaka was that one foreign kid you hung out with. He didn't make any sense, but he was hilarious to watch. The father figure was OK enough. At least he didn't keep the kids from going out and looking for crystal, I mean crystals, and teasing dinosaurs and such. If Holly and Chaka had a thing, I think he would have fed Chaka to a dinosaur or thrown him off a cliff.

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The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

10/10

Forrest Gump+Highlander+Like Water for Chocolate

26 December 2008

Warning: Spoilers

It's easy to compare the plot to other films. The amazing thing about the main character here, is not what he does, which is nothing special, or what happens to him, most able-bodied men got caught up in the war, it's how he lives his life.

Benjamin Button is born handicapped (think Forrest Gump's "magic legs") He stands for the first time when confronted by a faith healer, who then dies of a heart attack (an episode of "House"). He misses his chance to be with the woman he loves at least 3 times (Like Water for Chocolate). He gets to spend the middle of his life with the woman of his dreams (the beginning of many films where one or the other has something awful happen to them), then fades into obscurity as he grows younger (this is new, but we don't get to watch).

We need to believe that Benjamin's life is tied to a clock made by a blind clockmaker that runs backward, even though they never met, the clock was started before Benjamin was born, and it continues to work even when unplugged and put in storage after he dies (we see a huge, intricate power source earlier in the movie). This clock that runs backward is left in a train station from 1918 until 2002 even though it is only right 4 times a day, and probably causes countless numbers of people to miss their trains. Benjamin is confined to a wheelchair, nearly blind, nearly deaf, and has hair like the Crypt Keeper at 84. I know many people over 80 who are in much better condition, but it was, after all, 1918.

It sounds like I'm panning the movie with all these criticisms, but I actually loved it. It made me glad to be aging with my friends and relatives, instead of growing younger and watching them die. It also makes me feel that middle age isn't so bad.

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