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Suspiria (1977)
Bleh
20 March 2004
Warning: Spoilers
It seems to me that the word "masterpiece" is entirely overused here at IMDb, and never more so than when I see it used here to describe Suspiria. Maybe it was a masterpiece for its time, though I doubt it. This movie just has too darn many flaws. ***watch out for the spoilers!!!



I didn't like the different colored lights, the sound, or the Goblin music. It all did more to distract from the story than enhance it. There were numerous plot holes- such as why were the witches drugging Susy? Why did they kill their blind pianist? Did all of the innocent dancers die/burn to death in the end ? If so-that doesn't seem right... And what was up with that giant slinky that helped kill her roommate ? And what happened to that dancer character who was introduced in the beginning (the one that Susy initially roomed with) and then disappeared from the rest of the movie? I could go on all night with the questions. Maybe I would know a little more if I'd paid better attention, but it dragged so much that I picked up a book near the middle.

All that being said, the lead actress was quite good and they weren't lying about the last 10 minutes being scary. I was very creeped out once she got into that room. But witches & devil worshippers are creepy anyway since they are more real than say vampires and werewolves, so I can't credit the director too much for that either. And 10 good minutes do not make up for 90 bad ones.
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1/10
Too Slow Too Horrible
16 August 2003
Do not to rent this movie UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If it comes on tv, turn the channel. If someone tries to give you a free copy, run away screaming. Too Fast Too Young truly is one of the worst movies I have ever seen and I've seen plenty of crappy movies in my time.

I was tricked into renting this by Michael Ironside's picture which was featured prominently on the cover. He is not the star though so Michael Ironside fans beware -the so called stars of this so called movie are such horribly bad actors that I literally cringed when they were on.

I'm a little fuzzy on the plot since after the first 15 excruciating minutes I fast forwarded through all the scenes that Michael Ironside wasn't in. It was something about this petty criminal getting talked into an armored truck heist by his extremely icky escaped con relative and then they are chased by the police and blah blah blah. Trust me, it's not important. Oh, but petty criminal had a girlfriend who also did the narration and must be one of the worst actresses ever. I'm assuming no other actresses showed up at the audition.Must have read the script...

So in summary, do not watch this movie. It is bad. If you want to see Michael Ironside, rent Total Recall. It is good.
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7/10
Be kind to this movie
5 July 2003
I faithfully watch When Time Ran Out every time it comes on television, and am never bored by it. I had no idea it was such a terrible movie until I read these reviews on IMDB. Sigh...reviewers can be so cruel. At least now I know that I have bad taste in movies so you can stop reading this now if you like.

There are a lot of familiar faces in the cast and they do a good job. This is my favorite Paul Newman movie by the way. (But to be honest I don't watch many Paul Newman movies.) Edward Albert is also great in it, and even though his role is too small, he does get to be heroic but don't blink or you will miss those moments. The women aren't given too much to do but aint that always the way it goes. Sigh again... I did like Veronica Hamel's little bitty role. She was classy but stupid. Should have hooked up with Edward Albert.

This movie is a great soap opera with love, betrayal, danger, greed, and a dastardly villain. Oh, and the way some of the characters die is kinda funny. Sort of like every other disaster movie from the 70's and early 80's. So cut it a little slack why don't you.
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Wrong Turn (I) (2003)
6/10
Eeeew, but in a good way
3 June 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Wrong Turn is not as bad as some people say it is. It is basically a chase movie (I suppose most horror movies are) in which six which quickly turns to four good-looking young people are stalked by some SERIOUSLY deformed backwoods cannibals. It's funny how killers never go after the ugly people in these kinds of movies. Of course, ugly people are never in these kinds of movies, but I digress. So the young people are running for their very lives and you actually want them to make it because besides being cute they are all nice and reasonably smart, but alas, that is never the way it goes. But before they meet their maker they are chased in the woods in the daytime, then in the nighttime, then in the daytime again. Never could get out of them dern woods. Then the movie is over and you can get out from under your seat.

I don't know why they made so many references to West Virginia. There are woods in most every state so the state could have been left unnamed. Then the West Virginians wouldn't be so mad. If I lived in West Virginia I'd be mad too. ***SPOILERS ARE COMING UP***

I only gave this movie six out of ten stars because they killed off Jeremy Sisto's character way, way too early. Everyone in the cast was good but Jeremy Sisto rocks. Also this movie made the police look like morons. You hear that there is a killer in the woods knocking people off and you don't bring back up? Or even a partner?? On two separate occasions?? Other than that Wrong Turn is a pretty good movie. Worth the outrageous ticket price.
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2/10
If you heard this is crap-you dont know the half of it
24 May 2003
The plot of this TCM sequel is basically the same as the original, except that the victims are stupider and the psychos are "wackier". Don't expect to be frightened unless you are afraid of transvestites or bad acting. This movie is pure camp - but not the fun to watch kind. More like the counting the minutes til it's over kind. I will spare you the details and just say that I gave this movie two stars. One star for Renee Z. who apparently has always been adorable, but is now a much better actress. The other star is for Matthew M. who's a hoot as the craziest psycho and the best thing about this horrible, horrible movie. I would accept a dinner invitation from Leatherface and Grandpa before I'd endure the torture of this movie again. Someone needs to stop those people from making anymore TCM sequels. Please. For the love of God.
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The Hunted (2003)
Awesome action adventure
18 March 2003
I had been looking forward to the release of The Hunted for months, and after finally seeing it, I was not disappointed. This movie is exactly what it is advertised to be- an engaging, fast paced action film. The acting is exceptional, the fight scenes realistic, and the scenery-beautiful. Benicio Del Toro does a great job of making his character sympathetic. Aaron Hallam is not evil, he's just incredibly messed up. While you know he has to be stopped, you don't want to see him killed. Tommy Lee Jones also makes a likeable character out of someone who must share some responsibility for Hallam's meltdown. I wish the movie had explained why he ignored Aaron's pleas for help, or at least allowed him to express a little remorse. An extra half hour of story to go along with all of the chasing would also have been nice but those are my only complaints. The Hunted is not the deepest movie at the theaters right now. It's not going to explain any of life's mysteries. Accept it for what it is and you will have a great time.
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