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10/10
Batman, Joker, even the Predator, and Aliens!
28 September 2003
This Batman short is VERY cool, and can be downloaded for free online, so go check it out for sure.

Batman honestly looks better than most if not all of the big budget movie versions, and the Alien and Predator costumes are incredible for a short like this.

The only real fault I can come up with is that the Joker's appearance (but not performance, that was good) was really overdone, but other than that it's very hard to complain here. Great shots, weapons, THE PREDATOR... go download this.
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Kolobos (1999)
9/10
Excellent
27 June 2003
I really loved this movie. Finally a horror movie made somewhat recently that wasn't completely awful.

I almost WANTED this to be bad. Well, I didn't want it, but I found it hard to like, simply because I'm not satisfied by a long shot time and time again when it comes to newer horror movies. The opening was very well done, the music fits wonderfully as well. I just knew after an opening that good it was going to become awful, and fast. It didn't.

This movie takes a stupid stupid cliche idea like a bunch of teenagers going to a house for a reality show, and actually makes it good. This is because the movie really is not about the show whatsoever. Watch it and you'll see.

I wonder if the people that made this movie came up with a lame run of the mill plot to pitch to people for funding, then turned around and made a good film instead. Much homage paid to classic horror here without outright copying things. And as cool as some of that classic horror is, honestly the plots were never that good, just the eye candy. This includes Argento films, which I love dearly.

The people that made this movie need to be given the chance to make many more. It was creepy, it wasn't completely obvious what was going on at all times, and if you're complaining about the lack of a scary monster jumping out from behind every corner, watch the whole sequence that makes fun of slasher flicks before you convince yourself that you're watching one.
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2/10
A Travesty
24 June 2003
I'm a big fan of Anne Rice's vampire books. Queen of the Damned is my least favorite of them all, however it is still a very good book, though slow in a few sections in my opinion, and that Queen is damned better than this damn Queen.

Others have explained how this movie doesn't bother to follow the books so I won't dwell on that, but I wholeheartedly agree. What the hell were they smoking when they wrote the script to this? Or perhaps, since some drugs do make people more creative, (throw your music collection away if you don't think so) what WEREN'T they smoking?

The only storyline gripe I'll go over here is all the vampires fighting Akasha at the end of the movie. Those other vampires are MAJOR characters in the book. They're given a glimpse of screen time in the movie.. all of a sudden the vampire posse you've seen 3 frames of previously shows up and wipes out the main villain who wasn't even in the movie much. (yes, I know she died, doesn't make the movie any better) They really needed to at least introduce some of the other vampires before they came in to play the hero role.

My biggest gripe with this movie is the soundtrack, and more specifically the garbage Lestat sings. Why does Lestat suddenly turn into the guy from Korn when he sings? Does that make ANY sense?? ANY?!?! Besides, Korn is awful, and regardless of their talent, I don't exactly think of that when I think of something a vampire would sing. I think maybe something similar to Type O Negative music, with NEW vocals, not just an existing band's song, may have fit a little better without sounding like glam rock, which is kind of what the book makes it sound like, and I think even that would work beautifully in comparison with the crap that comes out of Lestat's throat... oh sorry, I mean out of nowhere since it doesn't sound like Lestat or even close to it.

This is pure tripe that was thrown together to take advantage of Vampire Chronicles movie rights, was made for a quick buck. As a fan of the books I was insulted by the plot, and I don't think there would even be enough there for this thing to even make sense to people that haven't read the books.

Avoid it. Interview With the Vampire didn't follow the book 100% either, but it was beautifully filmed and retained the feel of the book. This is crap. Read the books The Vampire Lestat, and Queen of the Damned and you'll understand why, and you'll likely get a lot of enjoyment out of them in the process.
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Robot Ninja (1989)
1/10
If there was ever a movie to teach you not to rent movies based on the titles...
11 May 2003
...here it is.

I rented this in my early teens sometime, actually hoping for a Ninja movie, or better yet, a ROBOT Ninja movie.

The main character and some inventor guy make this costume, and becomes... THE ROBOT NINJA! dun dun dun....

Well, it's a guy in a dumb looking suit. He's not a robot, and he's not a ninja. I'm pretty sure he never even tried to do any sort of "ninja move" either.

The whole thing was really really boring and lame, and I'm sure that if I watched it again now I'd laugh my ass off at how horrible this thing is. At the time I wanted a damn ninja movie, and this thing just plain sucked.

Could have used more ninjas, robots, and robot ninjas.
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Militia (2000)
Ugh...
11 April 2003
I've seen that a few people caught the Terminator 2 scene. However, most of the comments seem to think they re-made these scenes, simply stealing the idea. No....

THEY USED THE ACTUAL FOOTAGE FROM TERMINATOR 2! They edited the idiots in the movie into the scene, poorly, and even included the Cyberdyne Systems sign.

I caught this movie on some movie channel late one night, and was really confused when I saw Cyberdyne show up, and then this travesty of a scene began. How #%!@ing stupid do you have to be to use THAT scene in your movie? One of the most high profile scenes from an incredibly popular movie, and nobody is going to notice? Get real.

Avoid at all costs. If you notice it on TV, maybe watch it to see the horrible raping of the T2 scene and laugh, then see what else is on, I'm pretty sure it was right at the start, if not the first scene in the movie.

Ripoff scenes are one thing, in the sense that an idea or sequence is copied, but actually using footage from other movies since you can't afford big budget large scale action scenes? That's a good way to make people lose any and all respect for the filmmakers ability, and to find something better.

I just stumbled on this page on imdb by chance, after wondering what the heck this movie was called for quite a while, so now I can finally quit thinking about it. Good riddance.
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Predator 2 (1990)
8/10
I like it.
22 March 2003
I may like this movie even more than the first Predator. I think no-Arnold is actually a good thing here. I've seen him plenty of times, and in this movie the "cool" factor and the focus is pretty much all on the Predator. More Predator weapons are seen, you get to see the inside of a Predator ship, including a trophy room. (look for the scene of the window of a shop with stuffed animal carcasses for a nice comparison to our culture)

People don't seem to like this movie, and I don't remember it thrilling me terribly the first time I watched it either. Having recently watched it however, I think it's a great action movie. It's not really set in reality, more of a near-future setting, so they can get away with the crime ridden city and packed police stations. It's almost a comic book setting, but gritty enough to work in live video. The director gave the movie a great claustrophobic feel.

This movie has more action, more Predator, more Predator weapons, less characters that aren't a whole lot more than muscles, not that those kinds of characters can't be fun either.. and I think it's a lot of fun, and doesn't even get too out there. The slaughterhouse scene could be very debatable with the silver suits and liquid nitrogen guns, but it made sense in the context they were using them, and I think those suits even look somewhat like the Predator's own suit, with the shoulder mounted devices and all. Those suits were human technology to avoid detection by the Predator, the Predator's suit is technology to be stealthy against the humans.

If you don't like a cool alien killing all kinds of people, shootouts, gritty city settings, and excess blood and explosions, what are you watching an action movie for in the first place? I like the city setting much more than the jungle/no-technology setting of the first film. Don't get me wrong, I love the first film. I'm a fan of the Predator in these movies, not Arnold, so I have to go with this one if I'm going to choose favorites here.
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Street Trash (1987)
10/10
One of the craziest movies there is. That's a good thing.
12 March 2003
Street Trash is about bums drinking "Viper", and melting and exploding. A crazy Vietnam vet rules a junkyard, and police investigating the meltings.

EXPLODING BUMS!

This movie is hilarious, one of the best parts of the movie has to be the guy stealing stuff in the grocery store calling the elderly woman an old motherf**ker, then promptly walking out for no particular reason, THROUGH THE FRONT WINDOW. Although the cop beating the hitman up and puking on his head afterwards was rather lovely too. This movie is just so random and odd I can't imagine someone watching this and not having fun with it.

To all the people that can't make sense of it and find themselves scratching their heads about what they just watched.. stop trying to figure it all out! Just have fun with it, I didn't know what the hell was going on the first time either, however I thought that was great. I had a blast watching it, there was no possible way to predict what would happen next. If you're in the mood for something serious, then by all means stay as far away as you can from this, but this movie is wonderful if you're in the mood for weirdness.
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She Creature (2001 TV Movie)
7/10
Why all the negative reviews?
11 March 2003
Warning: Spoilers
-may contain spoilers-

This movie was great for what it is, with effects by Stan Winston being one of the LOWEST points in the movie. Frankly, if you don't enjoy cheesy old monster movies, then there really must be something wrong with you, no they're not great movies, but they're fun. This one actually is a good movie, which is quite rare when Vincent Price or Peter Cushing aren't the top billing in the credits.

The movie is quite good up until the end, with good acting, good camera work, good production.. this isn't your low budget straight to video, shot on a camcorder type movie, it looks very nice. Costumes, sets, even the mermaid effects are all very good. And as for the mermaid there's a comment here about how nudity ruins this film. How? She's a mermaid. It'd look really fake if she was wearing a set of shells over her breasts like in a Disney movie, and they weren't zooming in on her chest constantly or anything. The character was simply topless. I can show you lots of movies that would have taken a topless character and exploited it at every opportunity, but it was all pretty tasteful here.

The problems start when the mermaid transforms into generic "Alien" clone #764. The creature doesn't really look bad, but it really doesn't fit the character. This is the queen of the mermaids, but ends up being your standard movie monster, stomping around tearing people up. I'd have given this monster quite a bit more grace myself, less horns and more of a seductive quality like she had in mermaid form, you know, something to connect her to being a mermaid besides a slight fishy look? Normally I'd have nothing to complain about here, as these scenes are normally the high point of creature features, but the rest of the movie was of much higher quality than this, and a standard "rubber monster kills some people" scene just doesn't cut it.

People that didn't enjoy this at all need to earn themselves some movie history and figure out why most big Hollywood movies are boring, lame, and overpolished. Not to say that this is the height of cinema, far from it, but I'll take more of these over Swimfans and Screams and Men In Blacks any day.

Go watch the old Universal monster movies, most everything Hammer ever made, and a bunch of Vincent Price movies, then see what you think about a newer movie made in the same vein.
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Wild Zero (1999)
9/10
AAAAAAAAAACE!!
13 February 2003
Wild Zero has to be one of the craziest movies I've ever seen. This is a Japanese zombie movie starring a punk band, a transvestite, UFOs flying around for almost no apparent reason, magic guitar picks, and a club owner in very disturbing short shorts.

If you're looking for a Dawn of the Dead type movie... watch Dawn of the Dead, it's great. This is... well, it's Wild Zero, there's not much else like it. You probably need to be in the mood for weirdness like this. Keep an open mind, take it as it comes, and I bet you'll have a really good time with this one.
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1/10
Mindless trash for the no attention span masses.
22 December 2002
Did anyone actually watch this? The basic pattern of this movie is roughly 45 seconds of dialogue, and then a LOT of screaming and loud sound effects.

The perfect movie for those of us without any sort of attention span. Laugh at the wacky monsters screaming and hitting things and getting bonked on the head. Don't worry, it's going to happen again soon, so be patient during those three seconds of the characters talking, your mindless garbage is going to repeat itself real soon.

This movie has some neat graphics, big deal. Graphics mean nothing without anything to back them up.

Skip this and give your child a copy of The Hobbit (the BOOK, yes, those things with words printed on paper) instead. It's a good story that isn't dumbed down so much. Give your kids something that's worth their time, not this flashy and loud tripe with no real substance.
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