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Reviews
Kill List (2011)
A dark modern masterpiece
So I got to see this one last night at a preview in Dublin. It's getting rave reviews from those lucky enough to see it on the festival circuit the last few months, so was glad to check it out before the hype machine took over and spoiled the whole film for me. Although I will mention plot here, I strongly advise those wanting to see it to read and watch as little as possible; it's a film best experienced going in blind, as they say.
Anyways, Kill List follows two old friends who happen to be hit men carrying out their first job together in months. It seems their last job didn't go so well, and Jay (Neil Maskell) is properly haunted by it. Coping with a nagging wife and mounting credit card bills to maintain their semi-wealthy lifestyle is taking its toll on him too, but his pal Gal (Michael Smiley) is on hand to get him back in the saddle. After a tension-filled dinner party, the two head off to meet their new employer in a shady hotel room. The fact that their contract is signed in blood should set off alarm bells for these two. They are given a list of three that need to die, and from here they launch themselves into a dark odyssey of murder, confusion and paranoia that doesn't let up until the credits roll.
To say anything more plot-wise would certainly ruin the film. From the opening frames of an embarrassing and intense domestic argument, the viewer is struck by a strong sense of foreboding and brooding tension that carries on for the entire film. You never truly feel at ease with these characters. This is helped by the spot on performances from all the leads, as well as the un-intrusive camera work and direction that allows the characters to breath instead of cutting for stylistic reasons. This sense of direction also plays well for the scenes of violence, which are frequent and some (particualrly the hammer execution scene) disturbingly realistic. As the tension and unnerving nature of the plot unfolds, we are taken through the darkness by characters that are not only nasty people, but somehow human and sympathetic. A very tough thing to pull off, but director Ben Wheatley and the cast get it perfect.
Despite all of this, the film is also surprisingly funny; the humour comes naturally through the characters and the bleakness of everything around them and never takes you out of the mood of the film. Sure, it's black humour, but it's still very funny in parts. You can believe these two have been friends for years.
Some people are going to have a problem with the final act, but I think it worked perfectly. Some at the screening found it confusing, and those who are writing reviews saying the last ten minutes are completely left-field clearly haven't been watching the film properly. The complex resolution is explained through image more than dialogue, and if you are not paying attention to seemingly insignificant mise-en-scene you may miss it entirely.
Overall I think this is the best horror film I have seen this year. Funny, disturbing, unnerving and a film that will stick in your head long after it is over.
Doomsday (2008)
Kinda fun but pointless
Neil Marshall had a tough act to follow after the laughs and gore of Dog Soldiers, and the balls out claustrophobic terror of The Descent. After two home runs like that, it wasn't going to be long before the money men came to Marshall's door and offered him carte blanche on making whatever the hell he wanted. So Marshall decides to direct a script he wrote years ago that was an homage to his favorite 80's action and sci-fi films, and relished in the budget he has been given.
Some time in the near future a nasty virus spreads throughout Britain, melting and killing all who come into contact with it. The authorities decide to seal off the most infected part of the country (the poor old Highlands) and build a wall around it, sealing in the poor diseased souls! Cut to 30 years later and the whole mess has nearly been forgotten about.
That is, until the virus shows up again in the slums of London. The government are left with only one choice. Send a crack squad of operatives back into the sealed off Glasgow, to try and track down the mad scientist who locked himself into this dark world 30 years ago. Lead by the mysterious and sexy one eyed Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra), they soon discover that there are many survivors beyond the wall, and are roaming the streets in violent gangs. Can they locate the cure in 24 hours and get out with their asses intact? You won't know unless you watch it, fool! Once inside it doesn't take long for the sh!te to hit the fan. Crazy punk warriors soon grab em, burn one of em alive, kill a load more, leaving our fiesty heroine to try and figure it all out. As I already mentioned, the film was conceived as an 'hommage' to old school action flicks, but as it turns out, Neil marshall has basically turfed about 15 films into a blender and set that felcher on high power. It's basically Escape From New York -meets- Mad Max -meets- Mad Max Beyond ThunderDrome -meets- The Warriors -meets- 28 Days Later -meets- Underworld -meets- Aliens -meets- Resident Evil -meets-, blah, you get the picture! I don't think there was one single original idea knocking around in here, even the final 'twist' is straight out of Snake Pliskins playbook! She even only has one eye! It may be one sexy eye, but that's not the point! Now don't get me wrong, just because on paper it sounds like a load of thieving gee scum, that doesn't mean it ain't a fun load of thieving gee scum. The film rips along at a breakneck pace, with non stop action and exploding heads. Yup, this one get's pretty messy in the gore department, which is always welcome in my brown stained book. We also get served a decent enough cast to keep us watching the nonsense unfold. Mitra in the lead is certainly a tasty piece of work, and Bob Hoskins as her boss is always watchable. As is everyone's favorite ham king, Malcolm McDowell as the mad scientist, of course.
I can see that the majority of the audience are either going to decide that it's a bunch of artless bollox that has already been done in the 80's, or won't have a felching clue who someone like John Carpenter even is and just lap up the gore and car stunts. Either way, neither group is wrong really. It's a film as artless as any of the Resident Evil series, but has enough gore and action to stop you from wanting to turn it off. Marshall has gone as far into 'hommage' as is humanly possible, but where does he go from here? I'm hoping he goes back to basics on the next one, and realises he doesn't need a massive budget and thievery to entertain his hardcore audience
[Rec] (2007)
Spanish flick makes zombies scary again
At the rate foreign horror films are being remade at the moment, I wouldn't be surprised if things ended up like they did during the production of Tod brownings 1931 version of Dracula; when his crew went home at the end of each days shooting, another film crew came on set and shot the film again, only this time using the same script but just Spanish actors, and the film was released in a different version in Spain. As it stands, Rec has yet to be granted a release in the states due to the shot for shot remake coming out this month. Blah, what's next? Burning the original film and claiming the remake to be the original?? Anyways, after that pointless hissy fit, onto the film. We kick off in a Spanish fire station at night, with a camera operator filming the antics and interviews of a fiesty little presenter as she wanders around aimlessly, hoping for some action to happen. Eventually she gets her wish, with a call to an apartment building about an old lady trapped in her room. The fire crew enter and find the police here already, and when they break into the apartment, things don't seem right. Like the fact that the old lady is acting like a squirrel with it's dick in a mouse trap and being soaked head to toe in blood. When the old lady attacks and mangles a cop, they know something is really wrong, and now the authorities have locked down the building and refuse to let anyone out. Is the old bag carrying some kind of infection that causes the victim to act like a rabid animal and eat people? Who is responsible? Who will survive? And what the hell is going on up in the penthouse? Watch it and find out yo! Shot in the faux documentary style of recent films Cloverfield and Diary of the Dead, Rec is a straight up, balls out scare film. We never leave the point of view of the camera man, as he records every aspect of how quickly things start turning to crap in the apartment block. It doesn't take long before victims start getting chewed up and attacking. The pacing is probably the film's greatest strength, running at just around 75 minutes, we never have a chance to get bored, and it makes the action and scares all the more intense. Sure, we don't get much characterisation, but for once, I felt I didn't need it. To be thrown amongst the chaos was enough for this fool. Things do get fairly intense, especially for all you guys out there with surround sound. My cleaning lady will not be impressed with the hard brown stains in my underpants this week.
I won't go on much more about this one, every website is pimping it at the moment. I will say this though. Please, oh please, just don't bother with the remake.
*review written 20/10/08
Society (1989)
fun gloopy times from the end of the 80's
Ah yes, another one of those fond memories from my auld flower Mark Cousins back in the mid 90's. For anyone who doesn't know or remember, Mark Cousins was this edgy little guy who used to present a series of cult films every week on the BBC, and they ranged from everything from old Peckinpah films, up to splatter like Society. What a guy! He introduced me to many a great flick, and will be forever thankful for his cotton socks.
Poor little Bill (Billy Warlock). He seems to have everything sewn up in his teenage life. A mega rich family, a bright looking basketball scholarship ahead of him, and of course, a nasty looking cheerleader girlfriend to bust his balls. But there is a problem. Poor little Bill just doesn't seem to fit in. He has constant paranoia that his family and friends are up to some ill activities behind his back, but his doctor is no help to him at all. An ex boyfriend David Blanchard (Tim Bartell) of his sisters tries to warn him that something is up; he plays Bill a tap that sounds like his family involved in a sick little orgy. Blanchard soon shows up dead, and all fingers point to the 'society' of the rich, are they a weird cult that feed off the poor? It's up to Bill to figure it out before he winds up dead himself.
Society was always an oddity in the horror genre. It came out at a time when interest in horror was certainly waning, and after a decade of slashers, the steam was running out fast. But Society belonged to a different school of film. For the majority of it's running time it has very little gore, and even plays as a dark comedy right up until it's very gloopy finale. It also has a very tongue in cheek approach to it's central theme of 'the rich feeding off the poor', and plays heavily upon the ideals associated with the upper class. A gory black comedy horror that plays as a social satire? Fun times.
But don't forget that this is a horror film directed by none-less than the producer of Re-Animator, Brian Yuzna, so yes, the gore certainly hits the screen! We get a bloody throat slashing, eyes being forced out of a rubbery head, some poor sod being pulled inside out, and too much madness in the last 20 minutes to spoil or describe here! Not the bloodiest film out there, but it has a nicely surreal feel to it's madness, much like a film such as From Beyond. It also packs some pretty damned sweet nudity, with several boob and ass shots to keep your pecker hard.
This is one that is must-see in my books, if you can get your hands on it.
Pathology (2008)
Could have been great, but stupidity wins the day
I think most people find the idea of ending up on the slap in a mortuary to be one hell of a disturbing thought. Sure, you will be dead, but hell, do you really want people poking around in your insides even if you won't know about it? After watching a film like Nacho Cerda's Aftermath, it brings the idea of "poking around in your insides" to it's worst possible conclusion. But lately American horror is looking for it's next 'extreme' cheap thrill, and settings of the mortuary are springing back up on the screens with all it's gory glory. Pathology is the second film in recent years to be set almost entirely within the confines of the hospital basement. The other film was Unrest, a mess of a horror film that never pulled itself together and ended up in a stupid place completely. Does Pathology compare well? Not really. Brilliant doctor Ted Grey (Milo Ventimiglia) get's a job in a renowned University morgue. He seems to have everything going for him; a promising career ahead, a wealthy family, and a gorgeous lawyer girlfriend Gwen (Alyssa Milano). However, he is only in the University a few minutes and he is getting eyeballed by a group of elitist young doctors lead by Jake Gallo (Michael Weston). They don't like him and his intellectual approach, but it's not long before Jake starts to take an interest in him, and lets him in on how the group get their kicks after hours. It seems these guys like the challenge of a really difficult 'cause of death' to figure out, the idea of working out exactly how a corpse gets on their table is exactly what jerks their chains. However, they are no longer content with just figuring out, they each take a turn killing someone in an outlandishly complicated way, and then the group must use their skills to find out how they did it. This involves them smoking crack, screwing on morgue tables, committing silly murders, and all the time a cat and mouse game develops between Ted and Jake, when Ted decides he has had enough.
Sounds like a load of guff? It most certainly is. The film plays off like a rehash of The Lost Boys, with the group taunting and threatening Ted within the first 5 minutes of meeting him. This kind of thing gets tiresome pretty quickly, and when it is revealed what the group do, the crapometer splits right open and spews a sloppy brown wet turd across your TV screen that just never seems to clear up. The acting is either OTT sneering or as stiff as Ron Jeremy's fat one. By the time the earmarked ending rolls around, you really won't care who is dead, or who is getting chopped up.
The sad thing is, the film started off strong with it's opening sequence. It involved the unseen group puppeting two corpse's mouths with their hand's as they put on silly voices as if the dead bodies were talking, and the whole thing was filmed with a home video, giving it a creepy, sick necro feel to the thing. Sadly this is lost quickly, and the rest of the film is shot and cut together like any of the Saw franchise. If they had of kept this tone up throughout, and made the 'game' more believable, the film could have been a dark psychological masterpiece like Donna Tart's book, The Secret History.
On the plus side, there is plenty of gore to be found, in terms of autopsy scenes. The murders themselves were not particularly nasty, but the rest of the film gives it enough plasma to make up for it. Also, there are multiple sex scenes, though they are edited so quickly you soon lose interest. However, we do get to see Milano's dead autopsied vagina, so depending on your preference for living or dead girls, this could be a spank fest.
A lot of people are saying that this is just dumb fun. Sure, that's acceptable if you are a fifteen year old with an attention span of a meth addicted downy. I expect my dumb entertainment to be a lot of fun, not a drab one note medical thriller.
Witchboard (1986)
worth a watch for some 80's supernatural fun
Director Kevin Tenney will probably be best remembered for a certain little splatter-and-sleaze fest known as Night of the Demons, (not to be mixed up with that lovable 'Bigfoot the rapist' flick, Night of the Demon), but thanks to the fine folks at Anchor Bay, we can enjoy his debut feature again, fully restored and remastered.
Ah yes, there is nothing like screwing around with a Ouija board to tick off some evil spirits. When you were a kid, everyone knew some guys brother's friend who had a piano drop on his head through the roof of his house and had his corpse molested by Satan after he played with a Ouija board. It was one of those things you just don't do! Have some respect for the dead! Witchboard follows the consequences of giving the unliving the greasy goose after a party being held by yuppyish feisty redhead Linda (Tawney Kitaen) results in her getting a tad too attached to that unholy piece of cardboard. One of her guests, Brandon, used it to communicate with the spirit of a little dead boy named David, but after accidentally leaving it behind, Linda starts using the board on her own, much to the disgust of her bullish boyfriend Jim. At first, the spirit seems friendly, it helps Linda find a lost ring. But when Jim's friend on the construction site dies suspiciously under some old collapsed scaffold, it isn't long before Brandon puts two and two together to come up with 666, and the evil spirit fights to take control of Linda in an attempt to be reborn and destroy her for good.
You can probably piece together what happens for the most part. Brandon hires a wonky psychic to exorcise the demon, but this only angers up the spirit who launches a full on assault on those trying to expose it. As Linda gets sicker and more unstable, it's up to Jim and Brandon to get to the bottom of who the ghost really is if they want to save Linda's life. Oh yeah, throw in some annoying detective who likes to speak in riddles for no good reason at all! In terms of a low budget film made in the mid 80's, this one still has a lot going for it. The filmmakers made a brave choice to go against the grain and to tone down on needless gore and to up tension and atmosphere. The film is a slow burner, taking it's time to develop the creepy stuff, and allow the story to play out naturally. Tenney gets quite creative in terms of how it is filmed, and actually manages to get some genuine scares and a sense of dread before the OTT ending kicks in. The acting is reasonable for the most part, with only the 'annoying as a pubic hair between the teeth' psychic Zarabeth really grating. It's funny how 80's horror males usually either look like ridiculous nerds or ridiculous homosexuals. Jim and Brandon fall into the latter category. These boys sure knew how to use hair dryers and tanning beds, and at one stage in the motel room, I though they were gonna straight up 69 each other. No joke.
Oh yeah, and the cop who pops up to investigate the deaths and speak in riddles has nothing to really do with the film at all. All he does is add more running time to an already lengthy film, it really could have done with losing 10-15 minutes. There were also one too many 'fake scare' moments, the graveyard scene had about three of them, and they were all with Jim putting his hand on Brandon's shoulder! They didn't even bother putting music or stings on them! Lazy.
Saying all that, Witchboard is still a lot of fun. Even the plodding bits manage to be interesting enough, and the camera work is of a high enough standard to keep your eyes open. With only one or two moments of brief gore, we do get a late-in-the-day shower scene from Tawney, so don't turn it off before that. I'm sure a lot of folks remember this one from it's VHS days and look back with fond memories. I just wish Anchor Bay had kept the original artwork in the UK, the cover we got was horrible.
I Walked with a Zombie (1943)
Atmosphere by the bucket load
We start off with a fiesty young nurse Betsy (Frances Dee) being offered a job to care for a patient on an island in the West Indies. The patient is Jessica, wife to the plantation owner Paul Holland (Tom Conway). Jessica is a near ghost of a human being, she shows no sign of life on her beautiful face, and is unresponsive to any form of communication. She is prone to creepy episodes of night walking however, that gives our plucky young nurse course to believe there is something more sinister going on here. Rumours are abound about what happened to the poor Jessica, and it looks like her husbands brother is somehow involved in her catatonic state. Will the island's voodoo priests be able to save Jessica, or is it to blame for her state in the first place? If you are expecting some modern style gut ripping zombie action, then get out of here. Go watch Nightmare City 5 times in a row as a penance! This one is all about the atmosphere. It never quite turns into out and out horror like a lot of the Universal films that went before it, but that doesn't mean it ain't got it's own creepy charm. Many scenes stick out, the midnight walk to the old building with the winding staircase, the night time journey to the voodoo church in which the girls encounter the creepiest black man ever before Michael Jackson took that title, and the unusual finale are all favorites.
Indeed, Lewton is probably best known for getting the most out of brooding atmosphere and shadows than full on shockfests, and that's why his films are still loved today. I walked with a Zombie's story is told in a dreamlike fashion, with many of the characters pasts hinted at. We are never given a full explanation for why or how jessica ended up the way she did, the mystery is allowed to live amongst the darkness and through the native songs on the island.
Val Lewton had many hits whilst producing horror for RKO, and this is amongst the fan favorites. Director Tourneur went on to make an even big hit in horror a few years later with Night of the Demon . Thanks to the wonderful boxsets available, new generations can still discover these old gems for themselves, even if their creators have long since stumbled off to that great big graveyard in the sky.
My Bloody Valentine (2009)
See it in theatres in 3D, otherwise, you can skip it.
It's seldom these days I bother making the trek to theatres to see new releases. I've just had one too many bad experiences to be arsed handing over my not-so-hard earned cash to have most of the audience wreck my head throughout the movie. With home theatre systems being so cheap and accessible for the average Joe, I expect I ain't the only one abandoning the red sticky carpet and overpriced popcorn for the comfort of scaring the crap outta yourself in your own living room. However, some film's demand to be seen in a cinema, for either one of two reasons. One, it's a crowd movie that wouldn't be the same on your own, or two, it's technical aspects, i.e, a 3D process that you will not be able to experience at home. And funnily enough, My Bloody Valentine 3D falls into both of these categories.
In terms of plot line, not a huge amount has changed from the original. In case you didn't know, this is a remake of the semi classic film of the same title from the golden age of slashers, 1981. Crazy mentalist Harry Warden escapes from a coma after he was trapped in a collapsed mine and forced to kill the others in order to survive. He returns to the scene of the massacre only to go on a new killing spree, hacking up teens having a keg party with a pick axe. After the sheriff (Tom 'thrill me' Aktins) blows the madman to hell and buries him in the collapsing mine, things look set to return to normal.
Cut to ten years later, and everyone has tried to move on with their lives. That is, until the killings start up again. Who is shedding all this blood? Is it Tom (Jensen Ackles, of the impressive TV show, Supernatural), who has just shown back up to the town since the massacre to sell the mine? Or is it the new young sheriff Axel (Kerr Smith) who looks shifty and is definitely boning a teenage girl behind his pretty wife's back? Or is it ten other potential red herrings that film points a finger at throughout? Who cares. the story is fairly flimsy, and it really falls apart in the last half. The acting is also hit and miss, and to be honest, you probably won't really care what is happening by the 60 minute mark. In fact, if it wasn't for the 3D aspects, I would be calling this an awful pile of crap. However...
...The 3D really rocks. Plain and simple. This is the first film I have seen that is a live action 3D, and the new process is fantastic. It really puts you into the film and enhances the experience by 300%. Pick axes, eyeballs, guns, and anything that can move towards the screen hits you like a bag of hammers every couple of minutes, and is thoroughly entertaining. Even moments like when the camera peers into the hollowed out chest of a murdered victim, the way it looks is giddily nauseating. The filmmakers clearly knew that they were making another crud slasher film, but knew that the sale lies in the presentation. Which leads me to one conclusion, this film is gonna bomb on DVD. Without the 3D process, this film is pretty much worthless. It will probably then fall into the same category as the Black Christmas remake.
That aside, it's worth handing over your money to see it. For once, I didn't mind all the screaming and shouting in the cinema, as I knew the film was garbage, but the entertainment factor was still there. Oh, did I mention that we also get about 5 minutes of solid full frontal female nudity? And a midget getting killed? And lot's of gore? Enough said.
À l'intérieur (2007)
A nicely violent thrill-ride
Inside is one of those kinda flicks that exploded onto horror audiences last year from a very strong word-of-mouth at the festival front lines. A lot of reviewers seemed on the verge of having straight up heart attacks over it's violence levels, some saying it crossed too many lines of taste, but they all confirmed one thing; that it was a bloody good film. So, now that it has gotten it's official DVD release in the states, how does this sick pup hold up? Inside follows the life of widowed car crash survivor Sarah just on the cusp of becoming a young mother. With her husband's life lost in the opening scene smash, we jump forward several months as she is set to be induced into labour on Christmas Eve. Not that she seems particularly interested or enthusiastic, it seems that she has lost a lot of that will to live with her husbands death. That night, a disturbed woman shows up at her house claiming to know her and her dead husband. Sarah, panicking, calls the cops, but the woman seems to have disappeared. Thinking the ordeal is over, she disappears off to bed for a good night's sleep before the hospital visit. But, is the woman already inside her house? And what is that pair of scissors doing in her hands? And why is she holding them over Sarah's pregnant stomach? This is probably a film best watched without having any expectations, or knowing as little as possible. I gotta hand it to the French, they certainly know how to blast your face clean off your skull with some serious ultra violence. After the first 30 minutes, the film turns into a non stop baseball bat beating of gore and bloodshed, with some images you never thought you would see on screen. If you have issues with violence inflicted on pregnant women, do not watch this film. Or do not show it to your pregnant wife or girlfriend. Despite all of the carnage on-screen, I think a lot of people seemed to have missed the very deep rooted black comedy of the film. It's a film to watch with a crowd to get it's maximum impact, as some scenes will have people roaring and screaming with the insanity. And it's in this level of insanity that I believe the humour lies.
In terms of film-making, the piece is flawless. Fluid camera-work, gorgeous cinematography, and a genuinely creepy and adrenaline pumping soundtrack make it a very memorable experience, apart from the gore of course. What's great is that film's like this are being made on large enough budgets and are given proper respect in it's home country. I would be shocked to see a film like this ever made in this feeble-minded country. Oh well.
The French seem to have developed their own brand of extreme horror over the years, namely with such films as Irreversible, Switchblade Romance, Sheitan, Malefique, Ils and most recently, Martyrs. I for one admire their approach to making tough, visceral, unnerving horror. they are winning the genre back for an adult audience one film at a time, and are leaving my nerves in shreds in the process. What more can a horror fan ask for?
Nine Inch Nails: Broken (1993)
worth a look for NIN fans, and those looking to quench a thirst for torture.
This is one of those films that was always mentioned in excited and hushed tones by metal and NIN fans alike back in the day. It was around the time when NIN brainchild and front man Trent Reznor rented the Tate murder home to record The Downward Spiral, rumours surfaced over a supposed snuff film being produced by the band. It was one of those things I had forgotten about until recently when I was given a copy of this 'movie', on a fully remastered DVD no less! We open with some slickly shot black and white footage of a demented looking man having a noose placed around his neck, and dropped through a trapdoor in the floor. We then go to some seriously damaged and grainy home footage being shot out of a car window. Some guy who looks like a slack jawed redneck is then filmed for a few moments. We cut to what looks like a warehouse where the man is strapped to a chair, and on a TV begins some NIN music vids.
Intercut with the music promos made for all the tracks on the 'Broken' EP is footage of this man being beaten, smeared with what looks like excrement on his face, having teeth broken out with a pliers, tortured with a blow torch and straight razor, then eventually having his arms sawn off with a chainsaw, his dick cut off, raped/molested and finally having his heart cut out and eaten. Most of this nastiness happens in the finale as the track 'Gave up' plays, and is inter-cut with the police finding the corpses and the killer being hung.
First off, it's great to see the music vids fully uncut and remastered, the photography looks sharp and the ideas were certainly some of the strongest that NIN had commissioned. The 'snuff' footage obviously still looks as nasty as you would expect, I dunno what kinda video camera this serial killer uses, but he needs to upgrade! Still, this is all done for authentic effect, so it is forgivable. As to whether you can stomach the snuff footage, well, that's a different story. Personally, I didn't find it particularly shocking, but in this modern age of August Underground and the rest of the 'faux snuff' film industry, I guess it is harder to shock than it would have back in the early 90's. Plus, with the pumping music of NIN playing over the rapid cuts, it's hard not to feel some level of adrenaline whilst watching the final scenes, as it actually takes you out of the reality of real life death.
Incidentally, the 'snuff' footage actually made me think of everyone's favorite cannibal killer, Armin Meiwes. What happens in the Broken Movie is surprisingly close to what happened when he decided to eat his lovers bell-end, and I imagine the video tape he made is not that far off what is depicted here. Overall, it is a worthy download if you are a fan of the band, as it contains the original music videos, and you get to finally see what all the whispering and bootlegging was about. Was it worth the wait for die hard NIN fans? Probably not. It's really nothing more than a twee curiosity these days, but I'm glad I have had the opportunity to see it anyway.
Now if only we could get it in a 5.1 surround sound mix...
Cruising (1980)
dark and gripping look at a seldom seen sub culture
It always makes me smile when looking back at certain films made in the 70's and 80's and pondering on what the intent was for making it. It was prime time for exploitation films, and some of my all-time favorite shockers come from this seedy period. A time for zero budgeted filmmakers and producers to make a quick and sleazy buck. But hand in hand with this we also had some more mainstream filmmakers diving into the cinematic septic tank to wrestle with the slippery turds that get stuck in the underground. Scorsese showed us with Taxi Driver that a look into the low life's didn't equate to potential Oscar disaster, and Paul Schrader himself followed up with the skin-filled exploration of porn and snuff in Hardcore . So I guess it is no surprise to see a film like Cruising not only coming from one of Hollywoods biggest hotshots, Mr William Friedkin, but also starring the one and only Mr Al Pacino.
Based loosely on a true series of events, Cruising follows the undercover attempts of the New York police department as they try to infiltrate the gay sub-culture (specifically the leather S&M scene) in order to solve the spate of vicious gay serial killings that have been haunting the mayor and police chief. They select the young Italian cop Steve Burns (Pacino) to go deep undercover in the scene, forcing him into morally questionable scenarios for a heterosexual male. But is everything as it seems with the murder case? And does Steve stand more to lose than his anal virginity? There is only one way to find out! To say Cruising is a dark and gritty little film is an understatement. It's shot in a similarly garish style to something like Vice Squad; lots of neon lights, sleazy characters and rain drenched streets. There is a constant sense of danger floating throughout, either in the S&M bar scenes, or in the quietly haunting moments before a nasty murder erupts. Even by the end of the film, that sense of unknowing fear will grip you. Who thought a simple image of a leather-clad man walking down a dark, lonely street could be so unsettling? The murder scenes are short but brutal. As I said, they are most effective in the moments before the actual kill, with the murderer mouthing the simple rhyme of 'who's where? I'm here. You're here' before getting stab happy. The S&M scenes are suitably lurid, expect lots of manly types in jock straps with studded leather blowing each other, and in one great scene, lubing up and fisting each other. Reminded me of sports day in school.
There are some flaws for me though, and it's mainly in how Steve Burns is shown in how he deals with his own homosexuality. We are never explicitly shown if he is uncomfortable, or how far he pushes himself in search of leads. The closest we get is when the detectives, fearing Steves life is in danger, bust into the apartment where he is taken by a suspect. They find Pacino hog tied and naked, but still he murmurs, 'you came in too soon'. It shows that he has been down this road more than once, and has to endure more than play acting.
Ultimately though, the film is a dark road beaten through Steve Burns' fragile mind, the further he gets into character the further he must go to get to the truth. Is the truth to the identity of the killer out there? Who knows. Friedkin leaves us with more questions than answers, but his point was probably to make us examine the darker sides of our own nature and sexuality than to really give us an easy solution.
Were his intentions genuine for making the film, or was it in his eye's an easy and controversial hit? The film was plagued with protests and disruptions due to it's content, which no doubt helped it greatly in it's initial run. Whatever the case may be, he crafted one of the finest cop/serial killer thrillers in my book, exploitation or not. Check it out.
Dead Set (2008)
Not superb, but a worthy entry in the over-populated zombie genre
It's hard these days to find anything fresh in the zombie genre. The last ten years have seen such a resurgence in it that I for one am actually sick to my hairy boobs of looking at the shambling dead. Thanks to Resident Evil, 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead (remake) and Shaun of the Dead, every Tom, Dick and lazy zero budgeted filmmaker has hacked out a cheap knock off, or knock off's of knock off's, to the point where you just gotta take your sticky hand away from your bruised bell-end and say, enough! I don't wanna watch any more! So how does one go about suckering in the last few bucks from a dying genre? Put it on TV of course! Seeing as there has yet to be an epic zombie show, Dead Set at least gets points for that. Set on eviction night for the nasty Big Brother show, a zombie outbreak wipes out most of the UK, leaving the surviving contestants huddling together to keep their skins in one piece. How long will they last, and what will be left of them? What makes Dead Set work is the very premise itself. Any sane thinking human being would despise Big Brother, and everything it stands for. It is perfect for satire ripping, and having the presenter of the show getting turned into a mindless zombie was a stroke of genius. The show was written and created by Charlie Brooker, a man connected with media stabfests such as Nathan Barley and Brass Eye. His lack of love for the Big Brother formula and the people it entertains are clearly shown. We are treated to hordes of the now undead and brainless, swarming outside the studio, trying to get in and devour the contestants. Not a far stretch from what happens usually outside the show. Throw into this some good gore, some light nudity, some interesting sub characters and you have a fun filled 3 hours.
The show is not without it's flaws however. It suffers from the age old problem of too many characters, and not one you really give a damn about. Most of the time they are either shouting at each other, or trying to out macho each other. In fact, the best character is Patrick, the sleazy producer who is trapped inside the set. The moment where he craps in a bucket is priceless. Andy Nyman gives a great performance here. Now, down to my main gripe. The shaky camera work. It's like they dug up Christopher Reeves and put the camera in his hands. It worked in 28 Days Later as a stylistic choice, but now it's just lazy film-making. What ever happened to building up actual tension through pacing? Lazy bastards! Plus, the camera work hides what look to be pretty damned good gore f/x. Shame on you.
Personally, I expected a bit more from Brooker, but if you can get past all of this you may have some fun with Dead Set.
Terror Train (1980)
Worthwhile slasher if you have your expectations set accordingly
Have you ever been in a fraternity? I'm not American, so the concept is novel enough to me. What knowledge I do have of them has been lifted from the big screen. If you are to believe flicks like Terror Train and Night of the Creeps, corpses seem to play a surprisingly prevalent role in initiation, and the frat is usually populated by smarmy rich pricks. Unless, of course, you are in Animal House. Give me Bluto and Flounder any day.
I'm not really sure what my initial reasons were for never watching Terror Train in my youth, but it probably had a lot to do with the assurances from my buddies that it contained very little in the ways of two core ingredients to guarantee good times; breastage and killage. Do tits and gore maketh the movie? Probably not, but when you are 15, the answer is definitely! .
Well, now that I'm older and wiser, ahem, I find myself getting re-addicted to these dusty old slashers. Plot wise, this is what we get. It's fraternity initiation time, and the smarmy rich pricks decide to pull the jape of the season on a nerdy newbie. Thinking he is gonna pork Alana (Jamie Lee Curtis), the frat boys pull the old switcheroo on him, leaving him making out with a real corpse. The guy understandably goes a bit nuts, landing him into a stretch in a looney bin. Cut to four years later, and it's graduation time. The guys are having a final fancy dress bash on board a moving train, but little do they know a masked maniac has slipped on board. Will they reach the final stop before the killer carves his way through them? If you have watched even only a handful of slashers, you will know the answer to that question. Terror Train was made in the close wake of Halloween, but before the craze really exploded with Friday the 13th. So what we get is more about atmosphere and tension than all out gore. And you know? It works well enough. The opening section is handled pretty well, we really get the sense of how horrific the prank was on the nerd. It then takes the film a tad too long to get into the meat of the film. We are distracted by the presence of David Copperfield as The Magician, who does a few card tricks and thankfully keeps his mouth firmly shut. The identity of the killer is novel enough, and they milk not showing his face by the fact that he steals his victims costume after murdering them. It gives a bit of variety to the look of the killer too. Chances are though, when the killer is revealed, you will laugh your ass off.
Acting wise, Curtis does a pretty good job, she had beefed up her game a bit from Halloween, and it comes through in her performance. Ben Johnson also shows his mangy old head as the train conductor. That old drunk is always worth a look in my books. Gore wise, this one is pretty light. A lot of the kills happen off screen, but are bloody looking enough. I have to give credit to the final chase sequence though, for once the final girl took a royal beating, she even gets an ear ring torn out! That's how you treat a lady. Nudity wise, we get one brief topless shot, and some naked corpse boob, but nothing worth dropping your pants over. Just beat off after the film is over, OK? Final credit also goes to the look of the film, this one is actually quite well shot.
If you are looking for a classic splatter slasher, look elsewhere. This ain't the flick you are looking for. If you want something a tad classier, give it a spin. It looks pretty, and it will entertain you for it's slightly too long running time. The remake is due out soon, but who gives a sh!t. They have even changed it's name. Just another trick up Hollywood's sleeve to make you think you are seeing something original.
Noroi (2005)
Haunting Asian horror strikes again!
Like a lot of horror fans out there that went looking for the next great scare flick, we plundered the Asian horror market for whatever we could get our hands on, leaving no dark haired ghost lady unturned. We had good reason to do so, the Asian market had spawned such terrifying wonders as Ringu, Dark Waters, Juon - the Grudge, and a Tale of Two Sisters. By the time Takashi Miike started ripping the mick out of the genre with One Missed Call in 2003, the market seemed to be drying up, leaving it open for mockery and derision, despite the continued Hollywood Remake Machine working full steam ahead. Now, don't get me wrong, there were still plenty of good Asian horrors being made, the likes of Marebito and Shutter, to mention but two, will stand as minor genre classics some day. But the lank haired ghost lady had definitely had her feed at the party, and was time to take that success-drunk tramp home to bed! Then along comes a film like Noroi - The Curse. A film that is smart enough to pay subtle homage to it's roots, yet throws the rulebook out the window whilst doing it. What I'm about to describe in terms of plot will probably make you think there is nothing new here at all. The film is a documentary about one of Japan's top paranormal investigators as he receives stories and tip offs on ghostly goings on. He starts investigating the claims by a woman that she regularly hears a baby crying in the house next door, yet there is no baby there, apart from a middle aged woman and her son. These two disappear sharpish when the reporter pokes his nose around, but strange other coincidences start popping up. A psychic young girl, a mentally ill clairvoyant, a pretty young actress who had a strange vision, a lot of dead pigeons, and a very sinister demon by the name of Kagutaba, leading to a truly terrifying showdown in a small historical town...
To say any more on the plot might ruin the fun a bit. The film is shot in 'faux documentary' fashion, and incorporates footage from TV shows and news reports, and the labels via subtitles lets you know where you are in terms of the time line. The film has drawn more than a few comparisons to the Blair Witch Project, but apart from the shooting format and the creepy trip through the woods late at night, the comparison ends there really.
What is refreshing about Noroi is how it doesn't pander to modern horror audiences. If you are expecting croaky ghost ladies to pop out of the attic, look elsewhere. The film's strength lies in it's slow, gradual build up of terror, a terror so profound that it will stick with you for days after watching it. The climax is pretty damned freaky, but just when you think the film is over, you get treated to the 'real' ending when the credits start to roll, and sweet holy f*ck, is it a killer. In terms of acting, it is mostly convincing. You get some 'comedy' relief from the crazy, tin foil covered clairvoyant, but that soon dries up half way through the film. The film also has a slightly 'nastier' feel than a lot of Asian ghost horror, as there is a violent streak to some of the events too.
Overall, Noroi is one to watch on your own, late at night. Not since my first viewing of Ringu ten years ago have I been so delightfully creeped out watching a horror film. It is one that will itch away at you until it is too late, then it is under your skin. Just let yourself go to this one completely. And not a lank haired ghost lady in sight?? No wonder it has barely been released outside of Japan, let alone had an American remake lined up yet. Check this one out if you can, essential viewing in my books!
Die, Monster, Die! (1965)
If you can forget about Lovecraft, you may enjoy it.
I will say it straight off the bat, I'm a pretty big fan of HP Lovecraft. I regularly re-read his stories, and find that his way of looking at horror is greatly affecting my own approach to writing. But what is it about his stories that just doesn't generally work for the big screen, unless drastically altered? Look at Stuart Gordon's films for example, as he has probably filmed more Lovecraft stories than anyone else. But Re-Animator, Dagon, From Beyond and Castlefreak hardly reflect much of the authors intellectual horror and psychological approach. They borrow some key plot elements and run a mile with it, and are so enjoyable in their own right to avoid any serious criticism of being a poorly rendered adaptation. Apart from the Lovecraft Society produced 'Call of Cthulhu', they rarely stick to the original source material.
The story, 'The Colour Out of Space' is probably my personal favorite Lovecraft story. It's dark, physical and downright scary in parts. So what happens when it gets made in the 60's under the watchful eye of AIP and Roger Corman? You get a movie that tries to bend Lovecraft material into Poe material, with mixed results.
The plot starts off in similar fashion to the likes of The Fall of the House of Usher and The Pit and the Pendulum. Stephen (Nick Adams) arrives in Arkham train station (woooooo!), and tries to get a lift out to the old Witley Estate to visit his lady, Susan. The locals refuse to help him, which sets off immediate alarm bells. When he eventually does arrive, he is met with hostility from the wheelchair bound Nahum Witley (Boris Karloff, overacting and kind of wasted), telling him to leave his daughter alone. Susan's mother is sick in bed and hidden behind curtains, but she urges Stephen to leave the house at once, but to take Susan with him, as the house is cursed. It seems that some kind of evil is at work, turning the house guests into deformities! It is up to Stephen to figure out how the current madness links with the past in order for him to save the love of his life...
When Die, Monster, Die! eventually gets going, it is a lot of fun, if you are in the right kind of mood. But the problem is, the first half hour is very slow, and as I mentioned, bears too many similarities to greater films for you to be truly sucked in. The problem may be with how bland and uninteresting a lead actor Nick Adams makes. He speaks in a broad New York accent, and he seems pretty dumb and un-involved compared to other AIP leading men. Act, Motherf*cker, Act! Suzan Farmer fares a bit better as the lead lady, but that may be that I was just staring at her ample hooters. No surprise she went on to work on some Hammer films. If you can get past the first half hour, you do get some treats, such as; the creepy shawl covered lurker at the window, a skin crawling shriek heard on the moors, a cool face melting moment, a creepy mist filled greenhouse with distant crows cawing (reminded me of the Resident Evil game) and mutant plants attacking, and of course, the sight of Karloff running around covered in green glowing paint! Apart from all of this, the film looks great. The house is atmospheric, and the fog machine must have gotten paid overtime for it's outstanding performance here. But as I said, this all feels like a Poe set up, shoe horning in some Sci-Fi in the last act. I guess Lovecraft wasn't a big name like Poe back in the 60's. Don't let my lacklustre review put you off however, as I said, this one is a bit of a hoot. Just don't expect The Masque of the Red Death or Re-Animator.
Pâfekuto burû (1997)
Sad, dark, violent.
I'm not much of a man for Manga or Anime to be honest. I've only seen about half a dozen or so films, and while I have liked what I watched, I generally don't go seeking for titles as I would with other genres. But saying that, if I were the kind of man to make a top 100 list of all time, including all genres, I'm pretty sure Perfect Blue would be on there somewhere, and quite possibly in a decent enough position.
Perfect Blue follows the disturbing path that young Mima's life takes after she announces that she is retiring from pop band life to pursue a career in acting. One of her managers feels it's the best idea for her, but the other, Rumi, a former pop idol herself, thinks it is career suicide. Despite all, Mima lands herself a small yet harrowing part on a TV drama. At the same time, a website starts up called "Mima's room", purporting to be written by Mima herself. Whoever is writing the online diary sure does know a lot about her life, and it isn't long that this stalker starts threatening those around her. It doesn't take long for threats to materialize into murder, and for Mima's sanity to take a backseat...
What unfolds is both genuinely disturbing and sad. Mima is asked to act out a rape scene for the show, and it is a hard scene to watch. The innocence of Mima's past life crumbles away as everyone wants a piece of her, and none seem too concerned about it's affect on her young mind. She begins to confuse dreams with reality, and the past with the present. Is her personality really splitting, and is she somehow involved in the murders? I've said too much already! The first few minutes of Perfect Blue feel pretty much like anything you would expect a teenybopper anime to be. Lots of pop music, screaming teenage girls, and tough looking boys. But this all melts away pretty quickly after the title sequence, luring you in with an easy charm. There are very few punches pulled here. The murder sequences are short, but pretty damned brutal. The killer likes to stab the victims in the face with a screwdriver, and occasionally in the groinal area too. The rape scenes and other exploitative nudity scenes are just what you would expect from the nation of folks who eat rapes for breakfast; they are kinda uncomfortable.
What works so well is how the film is realized. I'm not sure if it would be as great as a live action film, but apparently there is one already made in Japan. The fluid camera positions coupled with the colour tones are flawless. For me, the film feels like a messed up blend of Argento's Tenebrae crossed with Aronofsky's Requiem for a Dream. Ya think I'm talking outta my hairy flossy? Just check out the scene Aronofsky borrowed for Requiem. You will know it when ya see it. He even owns the rights to this film, apparently.
Perfect Blue is stylish, dark and disturbing, but flows brilliantly and without any hiccups. This is one little flick you will want to watch more than once. Check it out, but don't watch the dubbed version!
Hardcore (1979)
Sleazy and exploitative. Both of which are positives!
I decided to have a bit of a George C Scott night the other day, mainly his more genre orientated work. I watched this back to back with The Changeling and The Exorcist 3. An interesting triple bill for sure! Scott plays Jake Van Dorn, a Calvinist and conservative business man who seems to have everything going right for him. That is, until his teenage daughter Kristen disappears whilst away at school in California. Cops and an eye witness speculate that she was lead off by a young man, and the detectives don't hold out much hope of finding her. Taking the advice of the cops, Van Dorn hires a private dick, Andy Mast, (Peter Boyle, sleazier than me on a Saturday night) to begin searching himself. A month later, Mast shows back up with a reel of 8mm footage. What's on it? Why, hardcore pornography, of course! In it is his nubile and innocent daughter, not looking so innocent anymore.
Van Dorn understandably goes heavy off the deep end. He moves out to California and scouts the strip, harassing hookers and pimps about his daughter, to the point where he gets his ass kicked. He realizes that the world of sleaze is not a place for a man like him, so he re-invents himself as Jake DeFreese, porn producer extraordinaire! He gets in touch with the local heavy hitters of the porn world, posing as a wealthy guy looking to make a porn flick. He then meets young hooker and porn star Niki (Season Hubley), and together they head off into the underworld to track Kristen down...
George C Scott gives a pretty mean performance as Van Dorn, a man with clearly high moral values thrown into a maelstrom of sleaze and profanity. the scenes where he watches the porn with his daughter is a gruesome moment. Not only must he face the decadence of the porn world, but he must also face up to certain other realities and truths. Is his hard lined faith really the cause for his daughters self degradation? And if he does find his daughter, will she be the same person she once was, or even want to come back home with him? These questions are what make Hardcore interesting for me. Schrader almost pulls it off too, but he drops the ball a few times in terms of plotting. Van Dorn's transformation into 'porn producer' isn't entirely convincing, yet it certainly is amusing. Same goes for the discovery of the snuff reel. It was unnecessary to the plot really, and it was pretty lame looking. And of course, the finale. A bone of contention with a lot of people, me included. The ending was apparently forced by the studio, and Schraders original bleak ending was dropped. What could have been a masterpiece on futility and abandoned faith gets a neat little ending, almost all tied up. Sure, it's entertaining, but unrealistic.
What works for me about a lot of Paul Schraders early films is how he paints the everyday characters so colourfully. He has a knack of writing the everyday blue collar guy in realistic yet likable fashion. Just look at both Taxi Driver and Blue Collar for that. He creates a world you can taste, and even if his central characters are off the wall, you can relate to the surroundings in a grounded way. Peter Boyle excels as always as the sleazy private eye. Even great little cameos by the likes of Hal Williams as 'Big Dick Blaque!' will have you rolling in your seat with glee. And of course, Season Hubley, Kurt Russell's ex-wife and star of my all time favorite pimp and hookers flick, Vice Squad, for those who are interested. She does a pretty good job of portraying a lost youth, much like Jodie Foster's role in Taxi Driver. She also gets highly naked, which may be of interest to some of you. For me, all I can say is yikes! Overall, Hardcore is a near miss of a classic. However, the film is shot beautifully, capturing the neon lure of California at night, and the camera work is truly stylish and innovative. The film also has plenty of nudity and violence to keep the casual crowd interested. Oh, on a final note, if the plot of this sounds vaguely familiar, that's because it was essentially remade as 8MM, by Joel Schumacher. The less said about that film, the better...
¿Quién puede matar a un niño? (1976)
A disturbing modern masterpiece
It's been awhile since I watched anything like this, and I'm damned glad I stuck it on. Who Can Kill A Child? opens with a pretty grim montage and narration on modern war, and how the children are the worst victims of it. Que the 8 minutes of real war footage of dead babies and kids dying. We then kick into the film, which follows the happy couple Tom and the heavily pregnant Evelyn as they take a trip to Tom's favorite island that he spent time on as a kid. On arriving at the island, they notice things seem to be particularly quiet. No adults are to be seen, only the few local kids are walking about. Thinking they may be all over at a festival on the other side of the island, the couple make themselves at home in a café.
Things are eerie enough, but when an old man suddenly appears in the street, things go to hell. A young girl beats the old man to death with a stick, all the while laughing to herself. Tom tries to stop her, but then a gang of kids steal the old man's body and play human piñata with him. Tom soon discovers a lot of adult corpses in houses, and when he finds a man in hiding, he explains that the kids went crazy the night before, going door to door slaughtering the grown ups. And nobody stopped them? Of course not, who could kill a child? From here on it's a deadly game of survival for the couple. The kids haunt them in gangs, and it comes down to the final decision, it's either the kids or themselves who are gonna die...
Plot wise, there isn't a huge amount to go on, but that's not what the film is about. It's a film with bigger ideas than just straight up narrative, and it dangles those moral questions for the audience nicely. That's not to say the film isn't exploitative. The opening war atrocity footage will put a wide load of people off straight away, but the director, Narciso Ibáñez Serrador, does a smart thing here. He visually forces you to feel uncomfortable at the idea or mentality it takes to stand by and watch a small child die,(which we all do every day in times of war, how many starving kids have you seen on TV??), so he sets you up straight away with the gut churning feeling of dread, with your own morality telling you that killing children is wrong. Sure, it's a cheap trick, but it's highly effective.
The film builds the tension strongly until all the cards are laid on the table. The island, a once beautifully open and spacious place, soon narrows down to the streets, which soon narrows down to a room, leaving our heroes little place to run. With machine gun in hand, Tom must blast his way through the kiddies to make it to the boat, and safety. And blast he does! This one probably packs all the bullet sprayed minors and boat oar beaten kids that you will ever need! There are so many chilling moments here that I really don't want to ruin them all. One sticks clear in my head though, when Tom tries to help a woman who as fled to the village church. He finds the woman dead on the ground in the bell tower, and the kids attempting to strip her body of clothes. It's a shocking moment, just watching the cold nature of the children, doing a vile act out of what seems to be oblivious innocence. The climax is also a powerful one, and is up there with some of the great endings in modern horror cinema in my opinion.
The camera work is crisp, and the photography spot on. Some nicely unusual choices in terms of framing really help sell the claustrophobic nature of the film too. There is very little bad I can say on this one really, I did find Evelyn's character to be a tad annoying though, and keeping her in the dark on what was happening just didn't cut it with me. Other than that, I say it's a modern classic. A grim one, but one that should be seen by every real horror fan out there!
Mo (1983)
Completely bonkers in the best possible way
Is there such a thing as a film being TOO much fun? I dunno, it's a thought that has been running through my head whilst watching some of my recent sicko feasts. Some films may have a slow but steady build up with a wicked pay off, such as Re-Animator, Evil Dead and Braindead. These seem to get the balance right, courting the line between suspense, character, and balls out grossness with expert precision. However, if ever a film was said to be TOO much fun, The Boxer's Omen is sure to be it.
The second of my recent Shaw Brothers viewings, The Boxers Omen is somewhat simple in terms of story. So there is this Chinese kick boxer in the ring with the dirtiest Thai fighter on the block. The Thai guy cripples our Chinese hero, and his brother swears revenge on the other scumbag. That night however, the brother is saved from a gang by the spirit of a Buddhist monk, who sends him on a mission to find a special temple. When he eventually finds it, he finds that the visiting spirit is in fact his 'kind of' dead brother from a past life, and he must now save this spirit from eternal damnation as his own fate is sealed to a premature death otherwise! In order to save the Buddhist he must battle wizards, demons, tentacled flying heads, re-animated crocodile heads, vomit eels, skeleton bats, skin a witch and THEN, kick the Thai guy's ass and travel to the Himalayan mountains! And this isn't even the half of it. I ain't kidding. Throw into that mix a fine pair of breasts being squished up against a window pane for 5 minutes and you got yourself a party.
The Boxer's Omen literally rips along at a ridiculous pace. There was so much crazy stuff going on every two minutes that you will either throw your arms in the air, drop your pants and fire off several rounds of hot sticky love glue onto your remote control in pure glee, or else get extremely frustrated by the clear lack of regard for pacing and plot structure. But you know what? If this all doesn't sound like fun to you, I don't know what will. There is a good healthy heap of gore that runs non stop throughout, along with the ample nudity of curvy Chinese ladies. The boobs against the glass scene I mentioned was worth mentioning again. Simply sublime! It's also worth mentioning the eel vomiting scene again, this moment actually made me gag, which is saying something. In fact, there were dozens of vomiting scenes here, go figure.
In terms of acting, I can't really say much, I don't remember any particular performance being bad, mostly just kinda OTT in a good way. They all seemed to do a fine job. Directing wise, imagine somebody mashed up The Holy Mountain, The Evil Dead and a big pile of vomit, and you pretty much get the idea. I must say though, the film looked damned pretty for its type, and the subs were spot on. The f/x are kinda hit and miss, but that won't stop you enjoying it as the sense of fun gets behind them and makes em work.
The bottom line is this, get your hands on this and Seeding of a Ghost, and have yourself a party. Invite friends over, put some beers in the fridge. Expect pats on the back for such quality entertainment. I dare anyone not to like this one. Enough said.
The Changeling (1980)
Nicely acted and terrifying....what are you waiting for?
The 70's sure was an interesting time for horror. After The Exorcist managed to stomp through the box office like Big Foot on a raping spree through a school yard, it showed that the genre didn't have to be relegated to the second bill on a B movie matinée to make some serious cash. It was the perfect coupling of big budget, hot young director and a talented cast, and this formula was thankfully to repeat again throughout the decade with the likes of The Omen, Jaws, Alien and The Amityville Horror following closely on it's heels.
By the time The Changeling hit the big screen, many a 'respected' director had taken a stab at the often ridiculed genre, with Philip Kaufman turning up the chills with his Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake, and the 'other' haunted house flick of 1980, The Shining, being directed by a nobody called Stanley Kubrick. So, how does The Changeling hold up to all these heavy weight horror contenders? Taken on it's own merits, The Changeling punches holes through the skulls of the likes of Amityville Horror like Ricky Oh pulverizing a bunch of badly acted prison inmates. We get off to a grim start, with John Russell (George C Scott), a music composer, who loses his family in a freak car accident on a snowy road. Several months later he seems to be on the road to recovery, and is offered a university lecturing job in Seattle. He decides to rent a stately historical home to stay in, and hopefully start him off fresh in his new life. It's not long though before he gets woken by loud banging noises, and soon he discovers a boarded up door leading to the attic. Here he finds a dust covered child's wheelchair, and other ancient curiosities.
It seems that there is the spirit of a young boy trying to communicate with John, and the more he delves into the history of the house, the darker the past seems. How did Joseph die? and how is it connected with the state senator? Will John escape with his marbles intact? Watch it and see, yo! What we have here is a seriously creepy haunted house slow burner. The film takes it's time to build character, and allow the atmosphere to creep up nicely with excellent use being made of the central location. The scares may seem standard at this stage, but they are well executed, and it makes a damned scary use of a séance scenario that always manages to get a bit of pee out of my willy. Another stand out scare moment involves the clinically eerie wheelchair, and scene when a younger girl foolishly wanders into her haunted bedroom late at night. Don't worry little girl, I was screaming along side you! One of the great things about The Changeling is Mr George C Scott. He carries the emotional bulk of the film on his hefty shoulders, and really lets loose when required. It's refreshing to see an actor as established as Scott was delving into the genre and really giving it his all. To see an elderly actor cast as the lead in a horror film is quite a surprise, it's something that would never happen in this day and age. His performance really helps sell the latter stages of the film that don't work quite as well as the first half. Unfortunately the film slightly derails in the last act, after a great false ending that will remind eagle eyed horror fans of the climax of Ringu. Don't worry though, the problems are only minimal and won't ruin the film for you, it just felt a tad OTT.
If you are fans of films like The Haunting, The Innocents, or even The Amityville Horror, you need to see this. It's serious, scary, and well acted. And really, when it comes to haunted house flicks, these are the essentials. Not big, flashy special effects or gore, just straight up old fashioned chills.
The Unholy (1988)
Could be worse, could be a helluva lot better.
The Unholy was a film that had an awful lot of good going for it, but like the teenage boys who have rented this back in the day, it blew it's load all over the floor after the hot redhead shows up naked in the first minute of screen time. Me, I'm a sucker for any film that deals with possession, the catholic church and priests. I guess it was my upbringing, but nothing terrifies me more than the thoughts of demonic possession or exorcisms.
Unfortunately, the only terrifying thing here is how poor a director Camilo Vila is. We start of with a priest praying at the alter of his parish church, only to be confronted by some hot demon in the form of a naked redhead. We get a good peek at her pubes n' bubes before she rips the horny priest's throat out with her bare hands. Cut to a few years later, and young father Michael (Ben Cross, looking very suspiciously like HP Lovecraft...hmm) is brought in by police detective Stern (Ned Beatty) to try and convince a rooftop jumper to come down. Somehow, this guy turns out to be possessed and throws Father Micheal out the window.
By some miracle, Father Michael wakes up in hospital without a mark on him. The local Archbishop (Hal Holbrook, really slumming it here) decides that this is the priest he has been looking for to re-open the church after the last priest was murdered. Father Michael isn't here long before some strange things start to happen in the church, and he himself is seeing visions of the naked redhead, and being drawn to investigate things further.
To spice things up, we get scenes in a 'satanic' nightclub, where Father Micheal meets probably the worst actress in this film, Millie, (Jill Carroll). She may somehow be connected with the past murders, or is it her bizarre boyfriend/boss, William Russell? I won't bother trying to piece together the plot of this one for you, suffice to say it ends up in a pretty fun monster mash in the church, as Father Michael finally battles 'The Unholy'! The Unholy has two glaring problems from that start. A terrible, nonsensical script, and direction that's flatter than Paris Hilton on her back. Some scenes are so badly directed it's hard to tell if the cuts between two actors talking are actually between two people in the same room! Events happen with no real tension, and drift off the screen just as lazily. We do get some gory and sexy goods in the opening scene, but then it's a full hour before anything else really happens. We are just left to watch legendary actors like Hal Holbrook and Ned Beatty stumble through poor dialogue whilst Ben cross looks like he slipped into a coma for most of the shoot. As I mentioned, Jill Carroll's performance gets a standing ovation for laugh out loud moments. Some scenes (Her finest moment is when she has a breakdown and starts shouting 'no!daddy no! don't touch me again!' Has to be seen to be believed) might of had some weight to them if directed properly, but I get the feeling director Vila was too gob-smacked by the hysterics to do anything but let the camera roll on her for five minutes.
OK, enough complaining, because The Unholy isn't without some merits. Firstly, it delivers nicely on nudity, which is always a good thing. The only actor to get props from me here is William Russell, who gives a thoroughly entertaining performance as the pimpish boss of the nightclub. He also gets a pretty sweet death scene, which is one of the few great moments in this film. Also, when the demons finally get angry in the last twenty minutes and appear, some good stuff goes down. who would have thought that one of Satan's top demons has midget monsters as part of his entourage? Well, now you know. The demon or 'Unholy One' himself is pretty mean, if not a man in a badly articulated rubber suit. The f/x are by the guy who did the Hellraiser f/x work, but here, he is let down by too much bright lighting and poorly set up shots. Probably not his finest moment. We also get some random flashes of gore that have nothing to do with the film, but were added by the producers looking to get the blood hungry crowd in. Fun times.
This is the kinda flick most of you will never bother hunting down, unless you saw it years ago on VHS and are looking for a stroll down memory lane. As I said, there is some fun to be had here, I just wish the actual film-making didn't suck so hard.