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josh-waa
Reviews
Lake Dead (2007)
Why did I choose this title?!?
Oh woe is me! It was said by an actor in the "making of" featurette "Lake Dead is not your average horror film" Huh?! The f**k it isn't! This is THE most mind-numbingly average piece o' s**t horror film I've seen outside of anything Rob Zombie's put his plagiarist hands to. A half an hour into this film I wanted to kill the cast myself! This film is also another perpetrator of what seems to be a big, conscientious theme in American horror and that is MAJOR gender issues, American males cannot show fear, it seems. What, I wonder, would actual jocks/frat boys do in extreme situations like the ones shown in this film? They'd s**t their 3/4 shorts, I'm sure! Instead, in films like this, you get slightly anxious action men, f**k off! I'm not covering every grievance I have with this title as I'm a rambler and subsequently a space filler, my one piece of advice is DON'T watch this film, don't give douche bag film makers like this more encouragement, look what happened with Michael Bay!! The guys that made this film obviously just watched Deliverance and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre(both brilliant horror films) too many times and decided that they'd try and capitalize on the themes but with much poorly executed accentuation, this film is abhorred.
Quarantine (2008)
Yet another artistically void American remake, oh dear
Yes folks, mainstream American cinema can't stand the fact that a non-American country has made an absolutely genius horror film that happened to be scariest film that many people, myself included, has seen, I'm of course talking about the excellent Spanish horror film REC and i can applaud that film till the cows come home but let me now vent my frustration with something like Quarantine. Released in 2008, barely a year after REC, Quarantine sought to bring true fear back to mainstream horror by not doing anything original of course but by making a carbon copy of a really, really good film. The results here are disastrous, in true American style everything had to be "bigger! Better!". 'It's shot hand held huh? WELL LETS MAKE IT SHAKY AS HELL! Whoa it's gonna freak the audiences out! It's gonna reflect America's current social climate and all the fears we live every day because we're a repressed country!' Well i could rant on and on and go off topic but this is THE worst horror remake i have EVER seen followed closely by The Shining(nice one Stephen), The Fog, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and of course Psycho. Please, please, please i implore you, DON'T WATCH THIS FILM, WATCH REC! RANT!!!!! Thankyou!