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Dune: Part Two (2024)
Just ok
Man. Cool to look at but not much going on underneath. Maybe should have been epic TV series like game of thrones. They left SO much out. A lot if good stuff. I know most people haven't read the books but this was really the cliff notes version. I liked the first half but the overall pacing was way off. The last 45 minutes things happened so fast it was like blam blam blam then its over. Where's the kid witch. Wheres the weirding way. Wheres the guild. Somehow they made it seem small. Walken was a pretty non threatening emperor. Almost like an snl skit. Sigh, another unwilling messiah story? I half expected Danaerys to show up on her dragon. I dunno. Guess I am just getting old and jaded. And all this tech but still fighting with swords. The shielding tech isn't really explained so the swords seem dumb. I didn't feel much romance from the leads. It's not explained whats bad about drinking the blue stuff while pregnant. And the music wasn't great either. During romantic scenes it sounded like cheesy 80s sci fi jazz ha. And the final knife fight was pretty lame and hard to tell what was happening. Couldn't they get the the john wick fight choreographers? It was fine but underwhelming overall. Feels like I have seen all this so many time before. It is also easy to overlay a lot of parts from the last jedi which everyone hated. I think maybe the heros journey has been completely wrung dry. Unfortunately.
Scrooged (1988)
Meh
This was the most bill murray of bill murray of bill murray movies ever. Plays the same smarmy character he always plays. What you think of this movie depends on how much over the top bill murray-ing you can take. He really is a gross jerk. I feel like maybe he was playing himself. Like his old girlfriend would be so into him and immediately swoon the minute he pays attention to her (right after making out with a solid gold dancer on live tv - haha hilareous right?). It is so ridiculous. In the end he doesn't seem redeemed he just seems insane. Like seriously a mental breakdown right before he commits suicide. His assistent holds the studio at gunpoint (which def isn't funny anymore) while he makes a truly deranged speech while crying. It's more disturbing than sweet. Maybe that was the point. I'm not entirely sure. I guess I don't get it. Now I can cross it off my list. It's like how wes anderson has just got too wes anderson. This is the same. Just too much free reign bill murray. I chuckled a few times but not enough to make this any kind of classic.
Love Actually (2003)
It's fine.
I saw this looong time ago and decided well its supposedly a christmas movie lets try again. Its fine. Like 10 Rom coms rolled into one with a lot of beautiful people having feelings. That being said it has not aged well. Lots of older men chasing hot young women and them being ok with it. Pretty cringe. Lots of hot young women being instantly interested in questionable older men. The young artist in love with his best friends wife was particularly oof and problematic. He barely knew her. Very stalker-ish from afar. Of course she loved it, sigh - forget my perfectly nice husband and best friend. B/c stalker behavior and not being able to communicate feelings thru basic talking is super romantic, right? Also lots of old school gratuitous nudity (female only b/c of course). This def did not past the bechdel test either (I didn't expect it to - but pretty much the whole movie revolves around the men making decisions about pursuing women and the women are little more than pretty props with no agency - mostly just waiting around to see if a hapless man picks them and then swooning into their arms). I enjoyed it and also enjoyed making fun of it. So win win. And jesus. So many fat jokes. So many. And most about a totally normal young women who isn't remotely fat. And Emma Thompson is just the best actor. Even in this dreck.
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)
Really Fun
Man. A completely random return to form for Dreamworks animation. With Pixar/Disney floundering and stupidly shuttering Blue Sky all the talent is prob sprinting to Dreamworks (and Sony). This sequel to an 11 year old movie has no business being as good as it is. You would think the theme of fractured fairy tale make fun of disney had been wrung dry. Nothing new here storywise. Just a fun hilarious adventure with some deeper themes that hits all the right notes. And can I say the animation was fantastic. Sony/Spiderman and now this movie blow me away with their art style and direction. I love the mix of 2d/3d and dare I say Kubo-esque at parts. Hig
This stuff is supposed to be fantastical not ultra realistic. I love it. Nothing can top spiderverse but this movie actually comes a close second. And the humor was very back to the original shrek. If they can keep the bar this high keep em coming. And no one is shouting out John Mulaney. He may have finally found his calling in animation voice over. He was hilareous.
Station Eleven (2021)
I loved it...
...but my wife who read the book (I didn't) and was excited to watch it gave it 3 out of 5 stars. She seemed underwhelmed. This seems aligned with other book readers in these reviews. She didn't disagree with any changes from the book per se. I just think the show didn't give her the same feeling as the book. I loved it. That being said it is not for everyone. As also reflected in these reviews. It is slow and meditative and bonkers at same time. And has time jumps which some people hate as it is hard to follow. We by chance had watched Last of Us before this and I can truthfully say I like this one better. After going thru covid and the dumbness and selfishness exhibited by most people with flashes of humanness. I think this show reflected that experience on a larger scale. Much better. I'm older. Humans really really suck. But our flashes of good humanness almost make the suck worth it. Almost. This show exhibits this idea perfectly and is prob much closer to how it would go down then last of us. My only gripe is it ended too perfectly and too pat but I was in the mood for that so I appreciate it. Tho it is a bit eye rolly. You know. As some tears squeezed out, ha.
Don't Worry Darling (2022)
Just ok.
Would have been better as a black mirror or twilight zone episode. Felt really padded. Great production design and beautiful people. We love our mid century modern. But nothing here that hasn't been done many times before, better. It's fine. A pretty diversion if that's what you are looking for. But no real compelling reason to devote any time to it. The sex was not sexy and awkward. As expected Styles needs more acting classes. We all love Flo. She was fine. More terrible men manipulating womans emotions to force them to be their partners ala stepford wives. Just in a more high tech way. And the plucky high EQ heroinne figures it out and saves the day. The twist is mostly satisfying and grossly horrifying. But still all a bit tiresome. Lifetime by way of Mad Men with a spray paint chrome techno sheen.
Yellowstone (2018)
Pretty dumb show
I watch it to make fun of it. It's like a conservative wet dream of how "cowboys" view themselves. Legends in their own minds. It's really laughable and kinda sad. You know when "men were men" and can just go around killing and murdering and fk-ing with zero consequences. It is all so silly and over the top. It's a lot closer to Dallas/Dynasty with a sprinkle of Sopranos, AR15s, pickup trucks, Budweiser, cows, horses, hats, and country music. The actress who plays Beth and Costner chew up every scene they are in and spit it out like a stream of tobacco juice. It is so over the top. And what is up with Costner's Christian Bale batman voice? It makes me laugh everytime he opens his mouth. Like a caricature of how a rich west coast actor would imagine a montana rancher talking. Gravely ya know? Watch this show for a good laugh. Go watch something like Power of the Dog or Brokeback Mountain for a more realistic take on what it's like to live this hard type of life. I have this fantasy that this is Dances with Wolves 2 after all the indians get killed and Costner says they kidnapped him and he goes back and steals all their land. And we all know flyover cowland is overflowing with oxy/meth/fentynal. Not showing much of that yet. Maybe it will show up in later seasons when costner breaks even more bad.
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Pretty, but boring and pointless
I mean really. If you saw the 1st one there is no reason to see this one. Unless you really enjoy eye candy and sensory overload and extended ultra violent video game cut scenes. And maybe it was my theater but it was really really loud. Right on the edge of unbearable. The 3d was cool. It really could have been about 1.5 hours shorter. Frankly it was boring. My wife and daughter wanted to leave but we powered thru. Water instead of jungle. Flying fish dragons instead of flying dragons. Green aliens instead of blue. Same ham handed eco one with the planet message. More embarrassing native american whoops pacific islander cultural appropriation. Whales good. Same boring one note villians with zero interior world except revenge and greed. Nobody stays dead and everyone has plot armor (except for poor oldest brother - someone has to kinda maybe probably die, right?) I can't believe there is going to be 1 to 5 more of these. Why? Even the little girl makes fun of the script simplicity when she exclaims "I can't believe I am tied up again!" after the 10th time various children were held as hostage bait. I mean to be honest Jake Sulley has brought down a lot of extra death and destruction on these aliens lives. They prob SHOULD hand him over. We hate colonizers but the white saviour trope that is super embarrassing is somehow ok? His alien wife should regret marrying him for sure. This is basically way hotter Ewoks crossed with Dances with Wolves and that is not a good thing. Save these for a late night streaming session and don't waste your time.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Thoroughly Enjoyed She-Hulk
Lord don't listen to the Comic Book Guy nerds using their stupid online superpowers to downvote and trash the show. Watch how many times these edge lord losers downvote this review (even buried here months after the series came out). God get a life. The chronically online have their panties in a bunch bc the whole series specifically makes fun of them. It is meta and hilareous. Go read the reviews. Here they all are. Right on cue. Proving the rule. The irony pokes them in the eye and they still can't stop themselves. I enjoyed this series immensely and had a smile on my face the whole time. If the suppossed MCU experts knew anything about She Hulk comic they would realize they nailed it. Watch it. It's fun and funny and irreverent and Tatiana Maslany is great. More please. And the fianl episode is a real gem. At the end of every super hero movie/series my son and I look at each other and roll our eyes as the fate of the goddamn universe is decided once again with a boring loud over powered fistfight. At least these writers were sick of it too. I mean it makes fun of super hero nerds and comic book tropes. What's not to like you babies. Something is different. You hate it. Something is the same. You hate it. What a bunch of whiny brats. Fine then just appreciate the huge amount of creativity and work that goes into something. They made something! Wtf have you done? Lord. Good bad or indifferent that is way more than almost all of us can say including me. Finally a new character I would love to see more of across the MCU. I can't wait. Don't listen to the haters. More She Hulk please. A lot more.
The Batman (2022)
It was ok. Prob not 3 hours ok.
It was fine. Not sure how many variations of batman and the joker (he's coming) there have to be. Prob less than there is. I appreciate making the world slightly more realistic and less cartoony and more gothic-y. But I can't shake the feeling this would have been better just as a noir serial killer detective story with pattinson and cast. It basically seemed a little silly that this detective guy has to walk around and do pi work in his weird armored batsuit. And struggles with fits of violent rage but somehow not killing anyone excep prob a lot of poor saps and truck drivers on some random highway. And harbors some very unhealthy dark silent stalker patriarchal mansplaining tendancies. Are catwomen still attracted to this? I would hope not but alas according to this story. I mean is gotham even worth saving at this point? And the whole riddler thing has been done in so many stories befoe its just yawn now. Mix some saw and black mirror and a dash of chinatown and you have the batman. And it is not improved by this fact. I fell asleep a couple times. Actually the new penguin was prob the best thing in the whole movie. I don't know why but he was. Prob bc he made fun of batman and gordan just like I would. It was all a little silly. I mean in the end batman didn't really solve anything or stop anything and was completely manipulated by the riddler and gotham was destroyed. Ok?
The French Dispatch of the Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun (2021)
Just ok.
Read the description before watching. That would have helped me immensely. I was very confused most of the movie and watched it the wrong way. Usually Wes's vignettes and dioramas and flights of fancy connect in some sweet and or disturbing way. This did not. Just think of it as a collection of VERY Wes Anderson short stories. I could barely keep my eyes open and cared not one whit about the characters or stories (while trying and looking for a story unification through thread). As usual though, the production was too clever by far and delightful. Like all great successful artists more success breeds more freedom. Super ironically Wes would benefit greatly from an editor to restrain and focus his vision and sensibilities into something coherent. Which also may be impossible. While I appreciate it, it's just all a bit much.
Dredd (2012)
Just Meh
Basically robocop without any of the social commentary subtext. Cops good. Drug lords bad. Cops kill every bad person like indestructible robot. I mean everything in mega city seems pretty awful and even Dredd admits they only respond to 6% of crime. This system seems not to work at all? I would need slo mo drugs too if I lived there! Perhaps they should explore legalization and use the taxes for more social programs? I mean if you take any subtext from this it shows the futility of ultra militaristic policing. Yay the judges and drug gangs killed 100s of innocent and guilty people in one typical day. I mean considering ma ma's background clearly mega city broke her and Dredd. There is a yin and yang there that isn't really explored. I assume maybe it is in the comics. It is just a 13 year olds wet dream video game violence fantasy. If you just take it as such it us fine which many of these reviews reflect. But I feel a missed opportunity to say more here and the movie returns seem to agree. The Matrix, John Wick, The Raid, even the original Robocop are prob better choices here. If you want to watch an extended video game cutscene it fits the bill. Prob needs to be a streaming series more thean a movie franchise.
Somewhere South (2020)
Good stuff -Way more then just food
Kudos to Vivian for taking baby steps towards trying to undrstand the real heritage and history of "american" food in the south. Which means a successful white chef having uncomfortable but neccessary conversations with black chefs and cooks about southern/soul food and the genesis of that in slavery and west african culture. And dancing delicately around the meaning of appropriation. And all the wild discomfort that entails. She is very brave. We need more courage like this. Porridge for the Soul was a particular standout. I could watch a whole series with the personalities highlighted in that episode. For real, that episode made me cry multiple times. Vivians awkwardness is my awkwardness and it is inspiring to see her fight through and have these conversations. It is difficult on both sides and she really showed that.
Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
Enjoyable. But just OK.
So as I told my fiancé. I love Sci-Fi movies. But I am NOT a huge Tom Cruise fan. I just don't think he is that good of an actor (he is ALWAYS Tom Cruise, you know - and what is with the motorcycle riding scene in EVERY movie). If you compare his early career to now he took a lot more chances. No silly crazy sci fi / action films. Seriously. Go look at his filmography. You will be surprised. Then for some reason - just like Will Smith - they entered the by the number automatic summer action flick movie machine. I get it. It is what it is. But over time it just gets a little boring. Like comic books. It is like the film industry finally realized there is a whole gigantic universe of ready made content prepped for movie consumption. It seems that no one has realized there is 100+ years of awesome mind bending sci-fi just waiting out there for movie consumption/awesomeness. But instead we keep getting movies like Oblivion and Edge of Tomorrrow starring Tom Cruise. Recycled dreck and tropes. So my fiancé asks why do you keep seeing these movies. Well. First b/c Tom Cruise picks scripts that would also be interesting to me. We seem to like the same stuff. I am just always disappointed in the final product. Just Eh. Poorly written. I posit the movie may have been better by having Cruise and Blunt switch characters. As if Cruise would ever let that happen... Blunt was so one dimensional. Think about it. If you took her out of the movie NOTHING changes. She was a cardboard cutout. You can see there was a cut out love story in there. Which was the appropriate decision. But when they cut those scenes there was nothing left for her. Oh well. Then plot holes galore. Creature design lifted right form the Matrix. Deus Ex Machina stuck in towards the end b/c huh we don't know how to end this. So lets make a device he stabs into his thigh. Really? They also lose the exo-suits (the coolest thing about the movie) a little after half way through-dead batteries. Huh. Really? It occurred to me the next day that all they had to do was to find the Blue Alpha again on the beach. 1. Killing it would save everyone on the beach and make weeks (months?) of the worst rails video game trial and error unnecessary and 2. could have splashed blunt with its blood also to remain immortal. Sigh. The end was literally lifted right out of Pacific Rim. Why is every alien race a hive mind. Seriously? it all gets a little tired over time (get it - over time - ugh). Oh well. It was dumb. But enjoyable. More ninja exosuit scenes and I would have been happier. Oh well. You can't have everything :-)
Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)
Funny comedic twist on a tired horror trope
This is a really funny smart movie. Better twist on the cabin in the woods story than the actual movie Cabin in the Woods that everyone talked about. I don't have much to add that was already written but this was an enjoyable hour and a half with many laughs to be had. I loved it! You can tell the writers really had a love of the genre. I do not know if someone not familiar with the conventions of the "teens camping in the woods attacked by hillbillies" would appreciate this movie. But if you do, it is hilarious. Obviously this was not meant to be great cinema, but for what it is supposed to be it nails it. It is easily available on Netflix and it was a great pick for the evening.
Ted (2012)
Average Comedy
Enjoyable diversion. Once you get over the bong hitting teddy bear joke not much left over but a few chuckles from some one liners. It is basically a live action version of Family Guy with Ted being a combo of Peter and Stewie. I was expecting sides hurt funny but it is not even close to that. Not sure why it was so successful? I guess Seth M knows his audience. Everything he does somehow excretes gold. I wonder if he laughs about it late at night? The story is basically rehashed Knocked-Up. Will immature man-child over outgrow his friends for his woman. The Flash Gordon parts are stellar though. Loved all of that! Joel M and Mila K are wasted here. Basically play lesser versions of every part they have ever done and are barely funny.
Django Unchained (2012)
Good for Tarantino Fans
I am unsure how someone who is not a Tarantino nerd would take this movie. But if you like him like I and many others do, you will love it. Waltz is the star here and has the BEST dialogue in the first half of the movie. He fades in the second half unfortunately. Same for all of T's movies since Pulp Fiction where EVERY character and EVERY piece of dialogue was golden. In his more recent movies we just get glimpses of it. But it is enough for me! Other than that it is over the top violent which is expected but the gore has been taken up a notch (to a silly slasher flick level). Not sure of the reason for that. It was borderline cartoon-ish and for some reason detracted from the movie. It really pulled me out.
Last. And again typical of Tarantino needed to be about 30 minutes shorter. He needs a good editor. But at this point he can put in whatever he wants for his own amusement. See the whole interlude where he is a character. It almost seems as if he just couldn't bring himself to cut his own scene. It was really self-gratuitous and unnecessary to have Django Unchained twice with that as the interlude.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
Don't listen to "critics". Great movie!
Just my 2 cents. I was afraid to go see this. I reread the book in prep. Peter Jackson did a great job filling in the gaps and matching the tone of LOTR movies. The changes he made make total sense. I DID watch this in regular 24fps and non 3d. Don't think the bells and whistles are worth extra $ and I hate the soap opera effect!
It's a fun silly fantasy movie about wizards, elves, hobbits etc. I had a blast and can't wait for the next two. I'm not real sure what the "real critics", expected? I loved the bits of humor and Gandalf moments.
A movie is not a book. I agree with the updates made for the movie. Go see it. I you won't be sorry!
Hanna (2011)
What a steaming pile of sheep dung...
Jesus. I know no one will see this but I still needed to review the movie. I made an account just to voice my displeasure. To add insult to injury I am now adding on to the 2 hours I already lost from my life. I am simply trying to keep others from making the same mistake.
HOW!? did this movie get such good reviews? I am middle age. I have seen a LOT of movies in my life. I can almost always find something to appreciate for all the hard work that went into making it. Eric Bana. Good. I see he should have played the Liam Neeson part in the new Batmans. Would have been much better. His copy in this movie was an improvement.
Hanna. Wondered around all wide eyed and innocent just like in the Lovely Bones. She has that down cold.
Kate Blanchett. Terrible. Did she even read the script before committing to this?
OK. The story. Plot. Pile of vomit. Whatever you want to call it. I am just going to get it all out there so bear with me. Bourne copy (among others). Instead of brainwashed super spy assassin. You get genetically modified in the uterus 13 year old super spy assassin. Hanna.
CIA program? Shut down by Kate. Probably rightly so. Assets exterminated. Presumably mothers and kids. Eric feels guilty? Maybe - it is never explained. Eric makes a last ditch attempt to save one mother and one child. Kate kills mother. Eric gets away with Hanna. Instead of honoring his original intentions (I guess b/c he is so mad at Kate for trying to kill him) he negates the one honorable thing he has tried to do in life by saving the mother and child and instead raises her as the assassin she was intended to be. All in order to kill Kate for his own revenge (and possibly for Hannah to have revenge for Kate killing her mother)? It is never made clear. Got all that. Why didn't they just go live in suburbia and live a normal life? No one knows. Why didn't' Eric just kill Kate himself? Again. No one knows.
He raises her in the arctic circle in a small cabin with an encyclopedia and Grimm's fairy tales. No modern conveniences. Doesn't teach her about them. Activates an "agent transponder" that apparently has a battery that can last 14+ years. Eric runs away (in a suit in the arctic circle) and leaves Hanna hoping Kate will make an appearance and Hannah can kill her. Great plan huh? Then Hannah uses her training and kills who she thinks is Kate(and a lot of other people) and gets away. How this got a pg-13 I don't know. Everyone dies except Hanna.
Then an interlude where Hanna gets to be a teenager and make friends with a nice normal family. When the bad guys catch up she leaves her adopted family to die at the hands of two laughable German skinhead caricatures and a weird Euro-trash guy. She gets away. Forget the fact that the nice normal family could have driven away at any time while Hannah was fighting the weirdos (and not killing. Even though earlier she killed numerous fully armed and trained US special forces soldiers). It is just so ludicrous.
Meanwhile Eric somehow SWIMS from the Arctic circle to Germany. Amazing. Kills some people. And they all end up meeting in Germany. Every character has died up to now. Interject some more pointless fairy tale symbolism. Then skinheads die, Then eurotrash guy dies. Eric dies then Kate dies. The end.
Oh I forgot. With a sledgehammer the writer and direct try to tie it all back together to a deer hunt in the first scene of the movie (in case we forgot). Oh. The arrow. The heart. Oh the symbolism. SOOO deep. Baarrfff. Give me a break. Even insinuating that Kate didn't HAVE a heart would have made more symbolic sense than "oops, just missed it. Just like the deer two hours ago. My bad".
After sitting there watching the credits I realized that Hanna was indeed a sociopath serial killer who did need to die. And Eric and Kate needed to die for creating her. But Kate wasn't really evil. She was just a high level CIA person (with bad gums) doing her thankless jobs as best she is able...
I only scratched the surface of the ridiculous holes in this plot. Spy assassin fairy tale. What Sh*t. I can suspend disbelief. I get that! But do so in the amount required by this movie would mean I no longer exist. I will never understand the good ratings for this crap. If substituting a waif like 13 yo girl for Jason Bourne is what we call good these days...I really am getting old.
GET OFF MY LAWN!