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8/10
Great giallo!
5 January 2005
The reporter Gregory Moore (Jean Sorel) is found dead somewhere in Cold War Prague and brought to the morgue, but he is not really dead – his mind works, but he cannot move. Now he tries to figure out how he ended up in the morgue. Most of the movie is told through Moore's flashbacks from the morgue where an old friend of his is trying to revive him because he suspects something is wrong with the body since rigor mortis have not set in.

The next hour of the movie is very slow moving – through the flashbacks we learn that Moore had a girlfriend, Mira (played by the gorgeous Barbara Bach), who he loved very dearly. At a party she disappears without a trace and Moore starts his own investigation when the Prague police (almost dressed like the Gestapo) is of little help. His investigation leads him from place to place and he discovers that Mira is not the only missing girl in Prague. As he gets closer to the truth about the missing girls someone tries to stop him and the people who are willing to help him. It looks like a giant conspiracy… And the twist ending is magnificent and gruesome at the same time!

*****SPOILERS*****

The truth is that a satanic cult is behind it all. They sacrifice young people at giant orgies – we are so "lucky" to catch a glimpse at an orgy so we are treated to loads of old people having sex! Moore discovers the truth and is drugged. The effect of the drug is pretty gruesome since it is like being buried alive – he appears to be dead and cannot move, but his mind will be fully working! In the end the doctors at the morgue realizes that Moore must be dead and any attempt to revive him is abandoned. Instead they are going to perform an autopsy on him. Just before the autopsy is going to begin Moore gains a little control over his hand – sadly the doctor performing the autopsy is a member of the cult and he kills him! Pure evil!

*****END SPOILERS*****

Short Night of the Glass Dolls is a very unusual giallo mainly because of the pace. It is remarkably slow moving and lacks the stylish and vicious killings, which almost defines the giallo genre. The overall feeling of the movie reminds me a lot more of Roman Polanski's The Tenant (1976) and Rosemary's Baby (1968). The Anchor Bay DVD from The Giallo Collection is brilliant and the 11-minute interview with director Aldo Lado is very informative. Especially his views on how the movie reflects on how the political elite buries people alive (reassigning them for example) when they come too close to the truth about the elite (hey, he is from Italy!), and how the old generation (the elite) lives of the blood of the young generation (the young has to fight the wars the elite engages in). Aldo Lado also directed the giallo Who Saw Her Die? (1972), which is also part of the box set. Both movies have a brilliant score by Ennio Morricone, but they are used very differently – in Who Saw Her Die? it was almost vulgar and in Short Night of the Glass Dolls the score is used very subtle. This has to be my favorite giallo so far! Go see it!

My rating: 8/10
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1/10
Oh, the inhumanity...
5 January 2005
A man. A movie. Mans inhumanity to the movie.

I have watched my share of garbage-amateur-horrible-z-grade horror, but Coleman Francis's: The Beast of Yucca Flats must be the worst ever! I cannot say I wasn't warned by other user comments, but such a warning only sparked my interest. If there ever was a movie, which deserved to be rated 1/10 this must be it.

The Plot: A defecting Russian scientist (Tor Johnson) is chased into atomic testing grounds by KGB agents, and he turns into a monster after he is exposed to a nuclear blast. You can tell he has turned into a monster because his hair is now white! The monster goes on a killing rampage, and two detectives venture out to stop him.

What went wrong: Short answer: Everything!

1. Dubbing. It took a while before I noticed that you never see any of the characters when they speak, so I checked the IMDb trivia section. Apparently the movie was shot without sound and later dubbed and to avoid out of sync problems the characters had their backs to the camera when talking or the camera focused on something else… It is hilarious to watch two people talk when the camera constantly shifts to the character that isn't talking. And then trying to get away with it for a whole hour…

2. The "score". The score is so over the top dramatic that it adds to the fun. A man walks through the desert/prairie and suddenly he sees a Keep Out sign, and you are blasted backwards in your chair by the music. Judging by the music a Keep Out sign is so much scarier than getting stabbed while showering… I guess it is supposed to compensate for the missing suspense/horror/action on all the other fronts!

3. The Narrator. The funniest thing in the movie is the narrator (Coleman Francis himself), who speaks with a calm and intellectual voice. I don't think one word he spoke made any sense – it's pseudo-intellectual dribble from the beginning to the end. We see a man lying in a hammock and the narrator goes: "Nothing bothers some people, not even flying saucers". I have no idea where he got flying saucers from – there are none in the movie nor are they ever mentioned. We see the scientist walking into the testing grounds and the narrator says: "Touch a button. Things happen. A scientist becomes a beast". It's like that during the whole movie.

4. Acting and effects. If the movie was supposed to be scary it would all depend on the monster, but like I already mentioned it consists of Tor Johnson with some white stuff on his face. We see the horrible monster chase a couple of boys, but sadly the monster is so fat it cannot really run, but it can throw rocks and wave a big stick… There are a couple of gunfights in the movie, but the bullets don't make holes or draw blood… Now, this might all sound like it makes some kind of sense, but let me assure you that it does not! There are so many whys and WTFs in this movie!

I will join the 393 out of 527 who rated this movie 1/10, but the fun factor is a lot higher. I didn't end up hating the movie like I did with Troll 2. And hey… it's only 54 minutes!
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Jacob's Ladder (I) (1990)
9/10
Brilliant!
19 May 2004
Warning: Spoilers
SPOILER ALERT

Jacob's Ladder (1990) The opening scene in Jacob's Ladder takes place during the Vietnam War. A small group of US soldiers are joking around, but suddenly they are attacked by the enemy (apparently)! As the attack starts some of the GI's suffer from strange attacks and everything turns into chaos. Jacob Singer (Tim Robbins) is wounded by a bayonet but we don't see by who and why. The rest of the movie revolves around this day and what really happened.

Singer drops to the ground in Vietnam and we are taken to New York. The war is over and Singer has recovered from his wound and is now working as a postman even though he took a PhD before going to Vietnam. The reason: After the war he "didn't want to think anymore". He has left his wife Sarah, and now lives with his girlfriend Jezebel (Elizabeth Peña). Sarah and Jacob had three children together, but one, Gabe (Macaulay Culkin), was killed in an automobile accident before Jacob went to Vietnam.

Jacob suffers from eerie attacks in which he is hunted by inhuman beings. At a party he has one of his attacks and he sees Jezebel dancing and having sex with a demon on the dance floor (looks like something from a hentai cartoon). One day Jacob receives a call from one of his old Vietnam buddies. He suffers from the same attacks, and he is convinced it's demons and he's going to hell. He is freed from his torment when his car blows up just after he and Jacob parted. It turns out that the whole platoon is suffering from the same attacks, and they believe that the army must have done something to them. They ask a lawyer, Geary (Jason Alexander), to take their case and he initially accepts.

Now the movie turns momentarily into a government conspiracy thriller, because Jacob learns that his army buddies have abandoned the case and so has the lawyer. Jacob is pretty sure that the army has pressured them out. He is proved correct when he himself is forced into a car for a 'friendly' conversation with a couple of government thugs. Jacob fights them off and jumps out of the car. The landing hurts his weak back and he is taken to a hospital (after he has been robbed by Santa Claus, who steals the wallet with Jacobs only picture of Gabe). The movie is also known, as Dante's Inferno and we understand why when Jacob arrives at the hospital. This is my favorite scene in the movie – as if hospitals weren't scary enough… There are limbs and blood all over the place and strange and deform people crowd the hallways. The Evil Doctor (deservingly credited as such on IMDb!) tells Jacob that he's dead. Louis (Danny Aiello) who is Jacob's chiropractic gets him out.

Home again Jacob is contacted by Michael (Matt Craven) who worked as a chemist for the US army in Vietnam. He tells the story about The Ladder – a drug designed to turn soldiers into killing machines. The drug was first tested on animals and Vietcong soldiers with incredible and scary results – Jacob's platoon was the first US test subjects. They turned mad and killed each other! In this scene Lyne proves that the imagination is far better than any images when Michael tells about the drug testing – Michael never thought people could do such things to each other…

Earlier in the movie Louis told Jacob (which is the essential quote of the movie):

"Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth".

Now Jacob returns to the house where he lived with Sarah. His dead son, Gabe, comes to get him. Hand in hand with Gabe, Jacob walks up the stairs into the light. The demons have turned into angels and Jacob is in heaven! Now we are taken back to Vietnam where Jacob dies in a MASH unit – the doctors couldn't do anymore, but they notice how peaceful Jacob looks. The only REAL things in the movie was the first and the last scene – the rest was a dream/hallucination/divine intervention…

I consider this to be Tim Robbins best performance ever and Adrian Lyne's best movie – a somewhat overlooked treasure (not on the horror board where most have seen it). The brilliant score by Maurice Jarre and beautiful cinematography by Jeffrey Kimball (True Romance and Stigmata) creates the perfect mood and atmosphere for this thoughtful experience. The movie isn't filled with special effects – often they just hint what's going on and leaves the rest to the imagination. The fast motion head jerks are very powerful and the same goes for the scene where Jezebel's eyes turn black – a scene also used very effective in The Passion of the Christ.

My rating: 9/10
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