alohajoe-1's Reviews

Night at the Museum (2006)

3/10

27 December 2006

By itself it's a dog of a movie. But given the timing and it being the ONLY real Xmas type movie out there it will do well at the all important box office no one is going to take the kiddies to see the "Good Shepard" or "Blood Diamond". If you have seen the previews you have seen it all. It makes no sense, makes a lame attempt at having a plot but kids will like it because they don't know any better. This is a "cute" movie, too cute. It relies solely on special effects and the waste of all the actor's talent is criminal. This movie would have been a good if not great movie if they had cast only Dick Van Dyke and the great Mickey Rooney by themselves. SPOILER... sort of. the worst part of this bomb is the ending, what a cop out. I'm sure all who are going to see this turkey have seen the previews so telling the "ending" will not give away anything. They stooped so low as to include everyone dancing and singing together at the end as one big happy museum family. Yes Genghis Kahn dances with a Chritopher Columbus statue or something, who cares?

This is a clear case of the suits deciding just how bland they could make this turd under the delusion of making it more acceptable by more people. Sigh. If this movie was released in Feb. it would sink like the "Poseidon Adventure".

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For Your Consideration (2006)

1/10

For Your Re-Consideration

24 November 2006

This was rated a mere 1 based on sheer disappointment. I love all of Guest's movies but something happened or I should say didn't happen here. The movie was over before it stated with a running time of slightly over an hour and it appeared as though Guest just plain gave up and quit so the studio called in a editor to finish the project. Here we have one of Hollywood's most consistent and greatest ensemble cast and it is wasted on the scale of "The Thin Red Line". To top it off we have many many more faces everyone will recognize, too many. You just didn't care about any of them. The only saving grace was the take on Inside Edtion with the magnificent Judy Lynch and the clueless Fred Willard. But these were not scenes but bytes. The whole movie bytes. Go see "Stranger Than Fiction" and see a real movie. Just to write this makes me sad, I so loved all the other movies Guest and company have done. As Willard's character kept saying in the "Mighty Wind": "What happened???????????"

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The Flim-Flam Man (1967)

7/10

Loved this 1967 classic

10 May 2006

This was a great year for movies and I think this kind of got lost in the shuffle. The year was the summer of love and movies like this fell by the way side. I saw it when it was released so I was only ten yrs. old and thought it was a great movie. This had Scott as the title character who really had a ball doing it. The rest of the cast was top notch making this great all the way thru and it showed a South that has all but disappeared. Lots of action a great score by Jerry Goldsmith and the dynamic between veteran Scott and new to the movies Michael Sarrazin who held his own quite well and went in in the 60s and early 70s and made some entertaining movies then seemed to have just vanished. Does anyone know what happened?? He seemed to have IT and the studios kept paring him with the big stars of time. Fun, fast paced a must see for film buffs of that era.

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Crumb (1994)

10/10

Mr. Unnatural

14 April 2006

When I first saw this film at an art house in L.A. I was blown away. I had been reading Zap Comics and it's brethren since the 70s and loved them w/out really knowing why. In this great documentary I found that Robert Crumb was telling TRUE stories ins his comics. Which makes him a great story teller as well as an artist that now enjoys accolades from museums around the world. He is one of those very rare people who can be called a MASTER. He also maintains an honesty and a level of integrity that is just not seen these days, the exception being Dave Chapelle when he walked away from $50 million. It also sheds light on his dark childhood and how he turned out to be the "normal" one. Music plays a vital part in this movie as well. Crumbs passion for mostly blues music from 1936 and before and his premier collection is fascinating. He easily could be considered a music historian. I live in Colorado and will be visiting Roger Ebert today as part of his annual trek to speak about film near the CU campus and hope I can talk to him about his commentary on this updated DVD. You don't have to be a fan of Crumb's to enjoy this film either. His life story is more than enough. For me this movie led me to become the largest collector of Crumb art in the state of Colorado and enjoy an inside circle status. I can't wait for his book of Genisis to come out. This movie is NOT for children so be warned.

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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

10/10

kiss kiss this this movie movie

12 February 2006

take Howard Hawks and mix in Q. Tarrintino and this is the kind of inspired comedy noir L.A. movie one will get. Superb inspired casting Robert Downey Jr. needed this and made it all worthwhile. Val Kilmer as supporting actor another brilliant choice. Fast, funny, furious dialog that compels the movie goer to see it again if only he could. For a reason that I can't find anywhere this movie was barely show at all. The theater I went to in Denver was on odd choice to show it but it was worth THE 80 MILE drive I had to make. I'll buy the DVD so I can see it again to listen to all the parts I could not catch over the howling laughter of an ALL AGE GROUP audience. My brother who lives in L.A. could not find a theater to see it. Very strange since the movie is essentially about L.A., the movie biz, and well just about everything else thrown in. I can't even find a DVD release anywhere. Does ANYONE know why the studio did not distribute this movie? Why despite adamant great reviews Hollywood pulled the movie? Something strange is going on here. Perhaps this is a case for the new detective agency that... wait I don't want to give anything away. JUST SEE THIS MOVIE. DEMAND TO SEE IT TODAY!

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King Kong (2005)

8

8 December 2005

Warning: Spoilers

I'll start off by warning everyone that I'm writing this from the assumption that everyone has seen King Kong already just not this one. I think everyone already knows the story so there really isn't anything to spoil in my opinion. At the premiere at Universal Studios last night things went very well indeed. Last week we were inundated with movies so bad that the studios made the fatal decision NOT to let critics preview their latest entrees. ENTER KING KONG. Peter Jackson has now taken the dinasours away from Spielberg, and the money making from Lucas. He is now the KING and as king was allowed to indulge himself it also cost him money to do so. The movie IS an event. It must be seen on the big screen with a full house to obtain that experience. Most of the movies made today are made with only the DVD in mind and I find that sad. King Kong is a whopping 3 hours long and you can tell that Jackson had to make cuts to bring it in at 3 hours. It's too long for repeat box office sales. Having said that make sure you don't drink anything an hour before the show and buy only a small coke. The movie is relentless in it's non stop breath taking aciton and special effects. Most audiences will experience vertigo during the Empire State bldng. sequence. It's also too long. All the acting was right on and some of the action episodes are going to be way too scary for young children. As it should be. I tire of movies that pander "for the children". One of the reasons I love cinema is the profound effect it can have. There are some scenes that are going to gross out most of the adults let alone children so beware. Jackson has shown there is life after LOTR but I wish he would have more discipline vs. indulgence. Spielberg and Tarantino are masters there. In the current "I'll wait until the DVD comes out" it's refreshing to see a movie that MUST BE SEEN AT A LARGE THEATER. You will be attending an event as well as a movie.

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The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

10/10

Another 10 review

29 July 2005

First: When this came out I was just a teenager who loved movies including westerns and greatly admired John Wayne. This movie put me off because it was SO DIFFERENT the guns didn't sound right, it didn't look right, and where was the good guy? But even then the film came to an end quickly despite it's length. Well years later and seen again this movie has gotten better. It keeps getting better as one matures. How many movies do that? Have ever done that? Even the critics matured to worship this wonderful film. Anything else I say is merely repeating what others have said. If somehow you have not seen this movie which would be hard to believe go see it tonight. It's one of the greatest movies/westerns of all time at least that's what the world at large says.

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Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

1/10

Prize for most BORING MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!

23 January 2005

I rented this waste of time because of all the rave reviews it got regarding Sir Alec Guiness playing something like 10 parts. For all he did they may as well have taken 10 pictures of him in different make up and then put the movie camera on them. It would have been more exciting. There is no redeeming quality to this piece of crap. I'm well versed in all genres of movies from all countries and this is not a matter of the British dry humor. It's a matter of just plain boredom. My girlfriend still has not forgiven me for making her watch this. You don't care about any of the characters, you don't care about anything but the end and only that because it has FINALLY ended. I would have hit the stop button much earlier but my girlfriend for some perverse reason has to finish every movie NO MATTER HOW BAD IT IS! Then I get the blame for terrible cinema. Don't waste you time on this tragic waste celluloid. How any critic, person found this to be enjoyable is way beyond me. This is one movie that could have easily been destroyed by fire and the world would have been left a better place. Don't fall for any of the lies that praise this tribute to boredom.

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Ed Wood (1994)

10/10

Truly an inspired movie of quality, about no quality

24 February 2004

This picture is an homage to irony. It is truly an inspired movie with great performances by all, but seen by few, about a movie maker with boundless enthusiasm but no talent what so ever. Add to this that Ed Wood's movies are still playing and selling and the movie about him lost money and now they have pulled the dvd w/out any explanation prompting making it as the highest priced commercial dvd on Ebay. Go figure.

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Bad Santa (2003)

Dark Meat can be good

28 November 2003

This is an absolutely great dark comedy. Not for kids and not for people who think any Xmas movie should have some redeeming value. This film is true to itself in it's darkness and makes no excuses. This will no doubt outrage some viewers who don't bother to find out about a movie before they see it and demand that something with Xmas in it have something wholesome. Anyone remember "A Boy and his Dog" from the '70's? I found Cat in the Hat offensive because it was made to sell cokes and hamburgers, and toys. It in of itself was one big lie. Bad Santa was made to prove that a good movie can be really really "bad".

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