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berkerj
Reviews
I Heart Huckabees (2004)
Pointless
Rented this stinkaroo thinking we had something along the lines of "Garden State" or a Woody Allenesque view of life. But the thing about Woody and Zach Braff, who wrote "Garden State," those guys actually tossed in some real comedy. I thought I was watching a philosophy thesis paper come-to-life written by someone on a bad acid trip. For nearly two hours, screaming matches and debates over the same themes: Life is meaningless ... but so what if life is meaningless ... we are nothing ... we are something ... just live your life because tomorrow we die. And of course, an occasional gross-out scene to keep us interested. I am of the firm belief that no one really liked this movie. It's one of those films that pseudo-intellectuals have to pretend they liked so they can tell their other pseudo-intellectual friends, "Yeah, I got it!" Give me "Napolean Dynamite" any day. Better yet, give me "Annie Hall," "Love and Death" or "Zelig" any day. Woody Allen? I get him.
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Not even bad enough to see for shock value.
This is how my wife and I rang in New Years Day 2005. We visited friends, very dear friends, who had decided to rent "Anchorman" after being reliably informed that "Anchorman" starts off slowly but gets really, really funny as it goes on. By the end we could expect to be so hysterical that we'd be falling out of our seats, rolling around the floor like fish out of water.
So we sat there, popped some corn, cracked open sodas and nestled in for what we expected to be nothing special but, hey, have a laugh, enjoy it for what it is -- just a silly little comedy. I didn't expect Shakespeare, Scorsese or Spielberg. I expected to be mildly amused every once in a while. That's all I wanted.
About 90 minutes later, I realized two things: One, I had just seen without rival the single worst motion picture I have ever seen. Two, I will never get that 90 minutes back.
Some movies are so dreadful they're almost worth seeing to witness how bad a movie could be. "Anchorman" does not even fall into that dubious category.
***Spoilers*** It's my firm belief that no one who sees more than one movie every five years could possibly have found the rumble scene -- with A-list actors making cameos -- the slightest bit funny. A dog getting kicked off the side of a bridge? Ron Burgundy arguing with the clubowner who's trying to make him eat cat doo-doo? Baxter the little dog talking to the grizzly bear at the zoo? Here's an example, it was shown in subtitles.... Baxter:On my journey I met one of your kind. His name was Katow-jo. We became friends. Bear: Katow-jo is my cousin. From now on, you will be known as Baxter, Friend to Bears. Go in peace. Baxter: I will spread tales of your compassion.
It's one big drawn-out improv sketch -- all entirely too long and all completely humor-free. "Anchorman" was the comedic version of your local Halloween haunted house. A bunch of people dress in scary outfits, make scary noises and jump out from every corner and yell BOO! We're startled, taken aback for minute, but not really frightened. In "Anchorman", a bunch of actors provide the audience with comedy's version of BOO! They shock us with some loud noise or a crude joke or a cat-poop reference, and some really clever dialogue from a dog. It might amuse the feeble-minded for a second, but everyone knows this oinker really isn't the slightest bit funny.
I might upgrade it to two only because Christina Applegate was looking mighty fine.
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
Lame or what?
And there I was, all excited and hopeful that someone would make a decent film based on one of my all-time favorites. How could it be worse than "Exorcist II, The Heretic." Guess what: That was Oscar-caliber compared to this profoundly horrible waste of two hours that I'll never get back. It's hard to believe anyone actually thought this movie was worthwhile. Even if you're a fan of gory, gratuitous violence, how about at least making it look real? I actually said to myself when those hyenas showed up, "Wow, a group of computer-generated, fake hyenas." The movie is strewn with computer-generated, fake creepy things. The swarming flies were particularly laughable. If you see it, you'll know what I mean. Aside from that, this movie failed to provide a single spooky moment. The occasional loud noise was as startling and effective as my sister jumping from behind the wall and yelling "boo!" back when we were kids. Save your money. There are so many better things to do with $8.50. Tossing it out the car window would have at least made the finder happy.
Sons and Daughters (1974)
Still memorable
The plot summary had it wrong: Jeff's father died of a heart attack in the pilot movie called 'Senior Year.' Anita's parents were divorced. Her mom was having an affair and Anita caught her going into the hotel with the guy. That's why Anita had trouble committing and opening up to Jeff. I know all of this because I was in my early teens at the time and loved the show. It was the kind of show that really captured the angst of teenage life (ala 'My So Called Life'). Amazing it only survived 13 episodes, but I think it had strong competition at the time. Very few of my friends watched it because something more popular was on at the same time slot. Wish they'd re-run the 13 on Bravo or TV Land or something.
Catch Me If You Can (2002)
It caught me!
Believe it or not, Leonardo DiCaprio has acted well in the past. "This Boy's Life" and "Basketball Diaries" come to mind. He couldn't miss with this kind of material. It's one of those "how could you not like this?" kind of movies. Such a unique story is perfect fodder for a movie. People are gullible. How many firms really pore over college transcripts and check out all those references in depth? Charm gets you quite far in this life because as much as ability counts, an employer also wants to know, "Am I going to be able to stand this guy for eight hours a day?"
Here's basically a slimy little kid named Frank Abagnale fooling everyone, essentially stealing millions of dollars, pretending to be some really high-level occupations (pilot, doctor, lawyer, teacher) and what happens? The viewer actually finds himself rooting for him. That's a combination of Steven Spielberg's directorial expertise and Leo's fine work with the script.
At least the Oscar folks remembered Christopher Walken by nominating him for best-supporting actor, though Chris Cooper got the statue for "Adaptation." Too bad. As usual, Walken takes over the screen every time he's featured, and the performance as DiCaprio's dad was Oscar-worthy. Tom Hanks was good as FBI agent Carl Hanratty, though it sounded as if he received New England accent lessons from Kevin Costner in "13 Days." In other words, "ugh!"
Terrific film. Should have been nominated for Best Picture. It was the best I saw in 2002.
Equilibrium (2002)
Talk about underrated!
Wow! This one must have been lost in all the hype with the "Matrix," "Lord of the Rings," "Star Wars" and the like because this is a terrific film. And I'm not a huge sci-fi fan.
This movie has elements of the totalitarian society of "1984" and the world without crime in "Minority Report." Watch this film and marvel at the stoicism Christian Bale is able to maintain as the Spock-like John Preston. Excellent use of bland colors to create this sanitized society without emotion . . . the attention to detail in costumes and speech to make the viewer feel as if this world is not only possible, but actually exists. It's very atmospheric.
Some of the criticisms indicate this movie tries to be too "stylish." That's a problem in many films these days, I agree. Stylish works with this film, though, because writer/director Kurt Wimmer trying to create his own new world and new possibilities. It does borrow from some other stories (what movie or book doesn't?) but somehow this one comes across as original. ****
The Boondock Saints (1999)
Dreadful, in so many ways
I was suckered into watching this dog from a few people who claimed it was "original" and had a great moral to the story.
***SPOILERS***
Throughout the movie, our "heroes" recite a prayer before blowing people away. Direct ripoff of "Pulp Fiction." Then a cat gets splattered all over a wall. Not-so-direct ripoff of the "Pulp Fiction" scene in which Marvin's head gets blown off in the back of the car. They even worry about the how upset the girlfriend will be if she discovers the mess, ala "Pulp Fiction" and the Bonnie situation. The shootout at the peep show? Saw that in "Desperado" and "From Dusk Til Dawn." Troy Duffy obviously watches and rewatches Quentin Tarantino movies. Willem Dafoe falling into his "Platoon" pose while recreating the shootout at the house? C'mon! And I'm no prude, but does every other word have to be the F word?
***
Absolutely dreadful film. But that's why Baskin Robbins makes 31 flavors. So if you liked it, I'm not sure why, but you're entitled to like it!