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3/10
The Man with Yellow Fever
12 December 2012
It's pretty much what you'd expect.

The action was crap, the dialogue was terrible, half the cast was melodramatic while the other half was wooden; even the props and costumes were nauseating. The martial arts/weapon ideas were the stuff of fanfiction. The audience was forced to sit through RZA's predictable backstory. Every second line was a cheesy metaphor. RZA was competing with Tom Hardy for the award for most inscrutable dialogue in a motion picture

The music was pretty good, but seemed really out of place.

It felt like RZA sincerely wanted this to be decent action movie, but then Tarantino decided to punk him and edited it into a B-grade flick post-production.

I can only assume Russell clobbered someone with a phone again and was blackmailed into starring in this.

Lucy Liu desperately tries to recapture the time when she was the go-to Asian-American actress.

Rick Yune is as bad as he's ever been. It's like he and John Choi are the the best Hollywood has to offer.

Then there were the few HK/Chinese actors who think this will help them break into Hollywood.

I seriously wouldn't have mind everything wrong with the film (which is basically everything) if they at least bothered to hire a decent action choreographer.

I fully expect Tarantino to pretend he was going for a deliberately cheesy movie to hide how bad it was.
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6/10
Spider-Man 3 all over again.
29 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Just saw Robin Begins.

It was like Spider-Man 3 all over again. Except this time, instead of Sony Pictures forcing Sam Raimi to add tonnes of characters with their own little subplots to outdo the previous two entries and turning the series into a mess, Nolan did it of his own volition.

Bane was awesome up until after he broke Batman. Up till that moment, he was a man of action. Just like Alfred said, you could feel his rage, that he was driven, that he had a purpose. Then he became one of those joke villains that just kept talking and talking. What's worse, his voice was so muffled you couldn't understand half the things he said!

Then there were all those redundant characters: that Wayne enterprises board member, that police chief, that orphan kid, that special forces captain, that dude that hired Selina, etc. It's like Nolan just decided to create a new character every time he needed to move the plot along. Then he kills half of them off because he didn't know what to do with them in the end.

Can someone also explain how JGL's character knew Bruce Wayne was Batman? From what I understand, he saw Bruce Wayne's face when he was a kid and BAM that's gotta be Batman!

And wtf was up with the stock exchange/Bruce Wayne losing his entire fortune subplot? A group of terrorists attack the stock exchange and conducts illegal trades, which the WHOLE WORLD knows about thanks to television, then it's like "Bad luck Bruce, nothing we can do about it. Sucks to be you!"

And I can only assume Michael Bay took over directing duties for the last third of the film.

Good grief, I heard this film got a standing ovation. Sure it just wasn't people wanting to stretch their legs after sitting through 2hr 45min of disappointment?

6.5/10
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4/10
Saturday morning cartoon stretched to one and a half hours
3 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
What a terrible movie.

Every single line of dialogue was cringe worthy. If it wasn't trying too hard to be funny it was shoehorning kungfu into the plot every chance the writers could get.

The plot, themes, twist and moral were all clichéd and predictable. It is a Saturday morning cartoon stretched to one and a half hours.

The Chinese accents were grating. Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman and Gary Oldman's voices did not seem out of place, so why the director felt the need to give all the minor characters Chinese voice actors or Chinese accents to make the movie more authentic when it actually detracts from the experience is beyond me.

The worst aspect of the movie is the fact that Po didn't need to do any hard work or make any effort whatsoever to become stronger; he just got an instant power-up to God mode. It's the antithesis to every single kung-fu movie ever made, where effort and hard work pay off. It's basically telling the audience you can do nothing and still achieve greatness.

The film must've been written by kung-fu fanboys who have no idea about the subject matter beyond the flashy wire-fu.

The very last scene at the end just confirms that this is nothing but a quick and easy cash grab, and that more quick and easy cash grabs are to come.
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4/10
Crappy remakes have spread to HK cinema
8 February 2011
If you find yourself overwhelmed with the large selection of kung fu movies available and unsure of what to watch first, then you can safely pass on this film knowing you aren't missing much.

Donnie Yen is a very versatile martial artist and choreographer. The fight scenes in his films alternate from realistic brawls to graceful wuxia pieces. Given his vast experience in the genre it's baffling as to why this film's action sequences are so mismatched and mundane.

In the beginning Yen's character, Chen Zhen, is capable of superhuman feats like dodging machine gun fire by sprinting at impossible speeds and propelling over tall buildings in a single somersault. Then for some reason Chen Zhen reverts back to a mortal where he uses Wing Chun that's lifted straight out of Ip Man 1 & 2. I don't mean inspired or improved upon; I mean the punches and kicks are literally copied, almost blow for blow, from his previous movies.

Except none of the fight scenes have the painstakingly created realism and inventiveness of his previous movies. There was the occasional weapon disarm here and deft parry there, but for the most part the fight scenes were lazy and lacklustre. Even the final showdown, the one that you expect will be at least half-decent, was a disappointment. Chen Zhen just repeatedly punches his opposite number in the face and ... well ... that's it really.

If it's not humdrum fight scenes its Donnie Yen striking silly melodramatic poses or poorly impersonating Bruce Lee. It doesn't look cool, just plain corny. The abrupt ending was probably due to Yen himself losing interest of the film half way through and just wanted to get it over and done with. That's certainly how I felt when I was watching it.

The acting was actually not bad, with decent performances by the supporting cast and especially Shu Qi. The set designs and costumes are also worthy of a mention.

But really, who picks up a Donnie Yen movie for anything else besides the action? Hopefully the next action movie about a Chinese hero resisting the tyranny of the British/Japanese will be better, because you can bet there will be more to come.
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