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Licorice Pizza (2021)
She's 25 He's 15
She's 25, he's 15, what is redeeming and heartwarming about that? Why do so many people like that? This movie and all of its hype and accolades give a lot of credence to the idea that Hollywood is just a bunch of predatory old people finding what they want in children. Not sure how else I can explain that, the love story is between a 25 year old and a 15 year old. My favorite scene was the fight between the politician and his boyfriend toward the end. Mostly because it was a love (or anti love) story between two actual adults. The rest of the movie was the love story of one person who was 25 and another who was 15.
The Killers (1964)
Hemmingway rolled over in his grave
Ernest Hemmingway killed himself because of this movie. I can't believe anyone anywhere near him would allow this atrocity to have his name on it. It bears literally zero resemblance to the story. None. They don't even do to a restaurant. The characters are terrible and contradict themselves. The original was Film Noir, this is just bad and the original movie didn't even follow the story after the 20 minute mark. Hemmingway's story, which I'm fairly sure no one in this movie bothered to read, had to do with a boxer that it was unclear why or how he knew the men that were sent to kill him. The killers had no interest in why they were doing the job. They were hit men. They were working their job that they were jaded by. It's about a boxer, not a hit-man with a fit of conscience (sort of) that wants to know why this guy didn't run. Awful.
Glitter (2001)
Worst film ever.
Worst. Ever. Worse than Battlefield Earth. Worse than The Muskateer. Worse than any other film that has ever been shot. First year high school AV students make better films than this. Good lord. I cringed the entire time. Worst film ever.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
All Over The Place
Three bad guys, Johnny Depp's entire character seems tacked on, Cheech Marin and Danny Trejo both got killed in Desperado. What's going on here? It's like Robert Rodriguez got money and so he made Spy Kids for older people. Go back to El Mariachi and make it good.
Teenage Mother (1967)
WOW
So this is something like a Frankie Avalon style 60s teen movie right up until the end. The most unwholesome they get is making out on the beach. Then they want to see the instructional video that was made for doctors by doctors. After a short disclaimer the scene cuts to a big vagina and we see the entire birthing process. I don't think I have ever been more shocked in my life. Also, there is no resolution and no teenage mother. Go figure.
The Apple (1980)
There are no words.
I am a fourth semester english major and I haven't the words to describe the utter genius of this film. The single greatest ending in film history. Amazing build up. It makes Xanadu look like Citizen Kane. BEST EVER.