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Joe vs Carole (2022)
Looks like an overlong SNL skit...
Am I the only one who sees it like this? I don't think it's because Kate McKinnon is in it because I usually like her, and Kyle MacLachlan is good in pretty much everything he does, but... this looks and feels half-assed, cheap... The scene in the first episode where Carole is checking the fake website attacking Joe Exotic while her husband is dancing in the background gave me strong SNL skit vibes... Then the improv bit of not being able to hang-up the phone... Nope... sorry. I could only get through the first two episodes. I just don't like it.
The Unholy (2021)
Holy CRAP!
Such a shame... I love Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Cary Elwes and all the actors in this movie... but GOD, OH GOD!!! The script and the directing by this guy I will not even bother to try to remember the name... HORRENDOUS! So stupid, nonsensical, basic, manipulative like a 12 year-old kid... I was about to write that I cannot believe that anybody liked that movie and gave it a positive review, but then, I remembered that 75 million people voted for Trump last November... There's a lot of stupid people in the World.
Burying the Ex (2014)
Worst. Script. EVER!
I love Joe Dante, I'm in love with Alexandra Daddario, and I liked Anton Yelchin in pretty much everything he did... But... What the hell is this movie?
A script that goes nowhere, not the glimmer of a surprise in the story progression, no character development to speak of. Lots of stuff hinted at, but nothing getting fleshed-out... What's worse is Dante's direction... It looked like a TV movie for crying out loud! The "Mickey Mousing" music got on my nerve in the first five minutes... Poor Dick Miller had to get off the crapper to do his usual cameo in this crapper of a movie...
Joe! What the hell, man? I was hoping for something of the same caliber of "Drag me to Hell", but I guess your style was never as broad as Raimi's... Your strength has always been nostalgia driven, and here it got lost in this bad script...
I'll go watch "Gremlins" and "Matinee" a couple of time to wash the after taste of this dud.
Cemetery Junction (2010)
Showing empathy on film is not an easy task...
And yet, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant have done it.
It's candid glances at people being ignored, people being "quietly" mistreated, being denied kindness. The protagonist, Freddy, is noticing all this and is the only one acting upon it... It seems to me that people who hated this movie are lacking the empathy to be touched by those beautiful moments.
For those haters, the story isn't amounting to much. Ok, they're right. But that's the distinctive feature of a "chronicle", the genre this movie is from.
If you can not be bothered by philosophy and observation, then yes, this movie will be boring and not for you. But if you like character development and... you have empathy, you'll like it. The acting is top-notch all the way through, the cinematography is beautiful and the directing is very affective in very subtle ways.
I loved it.
Hot Bot (2016)
Holy CRAP! And by CRAP I mean CRAP!
Spoiler: THIS MOVIE IS A PIECE OF CRAP!!!
Holy mother of God...
I'm ashamed for Larry Miller, Danny Masterson, Angela Kinsey and everybody that worked on that piece of CRAP!
The movie wants to be "Weird Science" meets "Superbad" meets "E.T." but it's just a big piece of dog crap!
The script is totally inane, character's psychology and development is non-existent, and the direction is worse than all the rest! I saw it on NetFlix and was tempted to ask for my $8 back for the month!
My only advice is to stay away from this PIECE OF CRAP! Go re-watch "Weird Science", "Superbad" and "E.T." instead!
Oh, did I mention it? This movie is freaking' PILE OF DOG CRAP!
Space Cop (2016)
Hilarious... if you are a fan!
It's hard to qualify a movie like Space Cop. I don't think it can be fully appreciated if you don't know the Red Letter Media guys, and if you are not familiar with their shows "Best of the Worst" and "Half in the Bag". The movie is self-referential from start to finish, with lots of nods specially to "Best of the Worst" episodes from the opening credits to the ***SPOILER*** Len Kabasinski cameo and stunt doubling. The "Samurai Cop" references also had me in stitches!
All in all, I wouldn't say the story kept me riveted, nor the gags had me rolling on the floor, but it was a very funny movie for me, as a fan of Rich Evans and Mike Stoklasa's overacting. It's like having your (talented) friends making a movie. You can see all the work and efforts that went into it (specially if you listen to the commentary track), you're already won to their brand of humor and the end result is very endearing.
If you are not fans of Mike, Rich, Jay, Jack and all the gang, better skip it. You won't get the joke.
5 Card Stud (1968)
What the heck went wrong with this movie?!
Thank God it has a great opening song!
Frankly, as a Western aficionado and a big fan of Dean, this movie is a tough one to get through. And yet, it's a stellar cast! Dino, Mitchum, McDowall, Yaphet Kotto! You know the problem doesn't come from there! The pacing is all wrong, the staging is all wrong, I'm guessing the shooting script was all wrong... Even Maurice Jarre score is all wrong (for this movie)!
This is a big, full fledged train-wreck of a movie! So awful you can't look away but yet, you cringe all the way through. Hard to believe this was directed by Henri Hathaway (who directed the original "True Grit" a year later) and produced by the great Hal Wallis (who had produced all the Martin & Lewis movies, back in the 50's)!...
It's a shame... I'd like to be able to enjoy this movie more, but seeing it could have been done so much better in a variety of ways just takes all the fun out of it. That is one movie that would benefit being remade... Except for the cast... Those legends are all gone now (except for Kotto).
Birth of the Beatles (1979)
Looks kinda cheap...
70's cars everywhere and inaccuracies! That's what comes to my mind when I think about this movie. Everything feels rushed, like they didn't have the time to find the correct guitars, the correct sets, the correct backgrounds. And they didn't have the time to tell the story correctly either. Scenes jump from one to another without any sense of segue. For any knowledgeable fan of the Beatles, it feels simplified to the extreme.
But on the other hand, the actors playing John, Paul, George and Ringo are good (Paul is often on the verge of overacting though) and they got the voices down! You could listen to the movie without watching it and you would be able to tell who is speaking! It's still a fun movie to watch, even if it's only to pick up flaws and inaccuracies!
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
I'm sorry to say that... Spider-Man is now officially dead...
Wow... What a piece of crap...
As much as I loved the first and second movies, this one makes me furious every time I try to watch it, thinking "It can't be that bad... I must have been in a bad mood when I watched it" but, God no... That wasn't the case, it's even worse than I remembered...
Nothing makes sense, in this movie. All those fantastic things are happening, a man turns into a giant sand monster, a black goo arrives from outer-space and clings to Peter Parker, creating a new black Spidey suit for him, and NOBODY EVER QUESTIONS ANYTHING! Peter Parker is trying to find the guy who killed his uncle (it's not the one we were told in the first two movies)and finds out he's the Sandman, capable of transforming into a sandstorm, a giant, anything he wants... When he finds him, he doesn't ask him how he turned into what he is, or anything... Even though the Symbiote is affecting him, I'm pretty sure the scientist in Peter Parter would marvel at such a creature...
Anyway... I could go on and on, like, how does Brock know that the person crying in pain, a thousand feet above him, is Parker? It's so stupid, it hurts to watch! So sorry... It was a great start to a great franchise... Now it's dead and we're gonna have to suffer a reboot with a "Twilight" cast of characters, with a purple and red Spidey suit, instead of the classic "Romita version" that Raimi was doing... So so sorry to see you go, Spidey...