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marquisoftranbeam
Reviews
World of the Dead: The Zombie Diaries (2011)
ruined by editing/ cinematography
I think if this film had been filmed with conventional movie-making techniques it might have been enjoyable. Those of the cast who are not returning from the first movie are competent actors and there are moments of cleverness every now and again.
The thing that made it literally unwatchable for me is the shaky-cam.
I've never liked it and it is rarely used well. The editor of this movie is Drew Culingham (umbrage the first vampire). He got his money for nothing. The choppy editing combines with the frenetic camera-work to cause something similar to sea sickness. It made the zombie diaries impossible to watch for me.
I switched off before the end because the editing was so distracting that I couldn't bear to watch any more. Fans of shaky cam might enjoy it.
Friday the 13th (2009)
pathetic
What a wretched movie. A pointless remake of a series that should have ended years ago.
I practically fell asleep during this boring, embarrassing, badly acted snoozefest.
There are practically no positives to this shoddy reboot- although I think that those with low attention spans or diminished iq's may prefer it to the original.
Its depressing the stupidity of movies that are being released now..anything original, witty or clever underperforms while dreary old crap finds an audience .
Hated it- can't imagine how it could have been worse
Grown Ups (2010)
sandler still not funny
While I was watching this I felt as though I had been sat in the seat for hours. I checked my watch..no, only halfway through. To say this is unfunny is an understatement. Grown ups is actually painful to watch.
I've never found Sandler funny but he's never been this annoying either.
Kevin James is just the token fat guy to be laughed at. There are so many fat jokes and none of them are funny.
Rob Schneider? when was the last time he was funny?? Seriously do yourself a favour and skip this one. It's like bacon flavoured vodka. It might seem tempting to try a sip but its awful and you'll be trying to get rid of the bad taste for weeks.
Sherlock Holmes (2009)
exactly what i feared
When I heard that Guy Ritchie was making a Sherlock Holmes movie I shuddered. I had a horrible idea of a stupid, glossy action movie that had nothing to do with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's writing.
The casting of Robert Downey Junior and Jude Law did little to reassure me.
The movie was everything I feared..a steampunk version of Holmes for American teenagers with Holmes' "woman" Irene Adler shoe-horned in.
There are action scenes galore, some of them are decently staged but this is not a Holmes story.
I went in with low expectations and my worst fears were realised.A better disappointment.
Zombie Women of Satan (2009)
almost unwatchable
This movie has very little to praise. The idea that its funny is nonsense...there are no good lines, nothing funny happens.It's like a lot of so-called comedy..stupid, tasteless and painfully unfunny.
Acting is hideous ( many of the cast have a history of low budget, badly acted crap) with a misogynistic theme and the "babes" are not the most attractive bunch of women ever assembled on film.
It's not scary or horrific either and the gore and fx are unconvincing.
Zombie Women of Satan never rises above its obviously tiny budget in production values. However a cheap film can distinguish itself with good ideas or a good script. ZWOS makes no effort to do either.
The Village (2004)
good actors wasted
I found it hard to believe that The Village was directed by the same man who made the superb Unbreakable.I loved Unbreakable it's one of my favourite films.
The Village has a wonderful cast and a good idea to work with..the movie begins interestingly enough and is quite watchable for the first half hour or so.
After the first 30 or 40 minutes the film slows to a very pedestrian pace...the actors do their best but the film is just...uninvolving.
I found it hard to focus my attention on what was happening...although to be honest not much *was* happening.The movie was a big yawn.
The twist ending is signposted long before it comes.
Apart from the first scenes I was bored
Colour from the Dark (2008)
starts well...downhill all the way
The film begins with a sequence that made me genuinely jump before we see it is a dream sequence.
Its a good start but it doesn't last long before we fall into a boring, drawn out, badly acted snorefest.
Some of the cinematography is nice,the music is good. The main problem is the really really slow pace of the story..after the dream scenes at the beginning it takes ages for anything to happen.
The acting needs to be better if you want people to stay interested..especially with a slow-paced movie like this.Debbie Rochon doesn't even attempt an Italian accent but, as with every other thing she is in she towers above everyone else in acting terms.
I wish Zuccon would stop making Lovecraft movies with unnecessary T&A - it might help him get better casts. I mean Tiffany Shepis? Debbie Rochon? who's next Paris Hilton? if its on TV it might be worth a watch..if you're keen maybe rent but don't buy.
Its a shame.The basic idea is sound but it needs work.