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Reviews
300 (2006)
Racist Trash
I saw this in theatres years ago. I'm just reviewing this now because I've been reading up on how Hollywood tries to re-educate the dumbed down general public..and this movie is a prime example.
1) The Greeks were savages compared to the Persians, that's why they lost their empire to them.
2) Spartans were known for being gay, any history book will tell you they slept with each other. FACT
3)All the Spartans speak about is freedom, but in their society they owned many slaves. FACT
4)All the Greeks look Aryan..GIVE ME A BREAK, I know most people don't know history, but go to Greece and look at the people, they have olive, to dark skin, they have thick black curly hair and brown eyes. Why do the Spartans, even the women have blonde hair and blue eyes?? Fantasy
5)Everytime a black person was on screen they were getting their head chopped off or dropped down a bottomless pit. Ancient Greeks had the utmost respect for Africans, and held them in high regard..if anything they looked upon the Aryans as savages.
I didn't leave the theatre feeling "That was an Amazing movie" or "That movie was sooo boring"....I felt "meh"....but when you put it into perspective of what this film is trying to do...glorify war, make a bunch of teens join the marines, and re-write history....I had to give it a low score.
2/10 for some okay action.
Inception (2010)
Most Overrated Movie of All time!! or Not Very Original
After reading all the amazing reviews and seeing a score of 9.3...3rd best movie of all time, I had to go watch Inception. Also I really like Memento...it was such a cool, original movie..so I was looking forward to this.
I went to see this movie last weekend. It was an 11:00pm showing on Sunday night, 3 weeks after opening night and the theatre was packed! We had to sit in the second row...something I don't mind at all.
Epic Fail The movie is about corporate (not even government) spies, that enter people's dreams through some unexplained technology. Once in the dream, they trick the victim into giving up his/her secrets. Pretty simple premise, and one that can be taken into many directions (after all we're in dreamland). Well the direction is down the crapper.
The whole premise of the movie is so shallow, Saito, a corporate CEO hires Cobb (Leo) to go into another CEO's dream and plant an idea of breaking up his fathers empire (upon his father's death), so that Saito can have a monopoly. How's that for a story?? What a joke.
Well the movie starts slow and drags on and on, besides that there are so many plot holes and explaining of everything that happens..like they manipulate the victim by having a dream, within a dream, within a dream. When you are falling in the first dream, the second layer has no gravity, but the third and forth layer has gravity?? WHAAAA??? Also even though you are in a dream, you have no super powers..you use boring guns? How about shooting lighting bolts out your you know what?? BOOORRING.
To add to the boredom, Cobb's wife Mal killed herself because she thought she was dreaming. And appears regularly to bore us to death, you get the sense that she's supposed to be evil, but it never pans out.
This was interesting on one level only...there was no antagonist. But then again there was no love interest either, and on top of that no danger, cause if you get killed in a dream, all you do is wake up.
This movie is amoral tripe with no imagination..eg. you are in a dream world, instead of driving around in a VAN, why not fly? Instead of shooting guns, why not freeze them in their tracks? Also, there are many people (I assume teenagers) who are saying how original this movie is. The Dream within a Dream thing has been done before...it's called "A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: Dream Warriors"..also don't EVER compare this tripe to the "Matrix". Matrix was original, it was filled with clever allegory, it was truly awe inspiring, but there was NOTHING clever about Inceptipon.
The climax was okay, but just because after 2 hours I couldn't wait to get out of there.
Now the anti-climax, is an entirely different animal, like the viewer hasn't been insulted enough...we are left to ponder weather it was "all a dream" (again not very original). The answer is yes, it was all a dream, and Cobb is still in a dream..his kids look exactly the same, even wearing the same clothes as his other dreams.
Please do yourself a favour and do not pay to see this garbage. So far the best movie this summer has been Predators...how sad. People think this movie is clever and original because they are teenagers..it probably is clever and original to them, but any adult will find this movie dull and boring.
Inception = Fail
IMDb for having Inception in your top 3 movies = EPIC FAIL.
If I was the credibility Nazi, I'd say to IMDb "NO CREDIBILITY FOR YOU!"
2/10 for exploiting a big budget.
Clerks II (2006)
Break the Status Quo
I saw this movie a couple of years ago on DVD, it has become one of my favourite comedies of all time. It was showing on TV, the other day, so decided to write a review while this movie is fresh in my mind.
I know almost every line of this movie and it still makes me laugh. I rate a movie high if I can watch it over and over again. Some movies are worth 1 or 2 goes, but Clerks 2 will have you coming back for more until you are soar with laughter.
I saw Clerks a long time ago and totally forgot about it, until watching Clerks II, since then I've watched the NJ trilogy.
Clerks II is a few years after the ending of Clerks. Dante and Randal are at it again, (serving the general public that is) this time working in a McDonalds rip off called "Mooby's" where you can get a Skinny Calf and a coke to go.
It's Dante's last day, and Randal is planning the farewell celebrations, Jay and Silent Bob make a appearance as well as a new comer Elias. This day will be one no one forgets!
This movie is so classic, every line is thought out and funny, Dante is the straight man while Randal provides over the top humour. This movie also (to my surprise) has a deep moral aspect to it...one that has to do with either following the status quo, or following your dreams, or even doing what makes you happy.
9.5 / 10 I'm withholding .5 because it's not on par with MY personal favourite movies...but other than that it's almost perfect.
PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND WATCH THIS MOVIE UNCUT
Predators (2010)
Predators does the original justice
I saw Predators last Friday, me and the GF decided to go check the latest instalment out. I admit I was skeptical, but after reading all the good reviews on IMDb, we decided to give it a shot.
I have to say we enjoyed the film very much. There were many scenes that were a nod to the original, I was a big fan of the original, didn't like predator 2 so much, AVP was meh.
Main Plot :We are taken to a world that is a Predator hunting ground...species from all over a transported there, to be hunted.
The cast is a motley crew of Alpha's. All were chosen to be hunted because of their superior survival skills, the prey themselves are predators. They're x-military, mercenaries, drug war cartel enforcers, plain old war lords, Yakuza (this guy is bad ass), as well as others. They must first figure out where they are, then who is hunting them, then how to hunt the hunted.
It's a pretty straight forward story, no surprises here...but it stay's true to the original, and does do the original justice, especially, Jesse Ventura's part...you'll see what I mean.
I gave the movie a 7.5 / 10 Very entertaining, great visuals, very believable acting (which was a surprise for this type of movie). The movie doesn't really fail, but story wise it's not original and there are no plot twists.
Check this movie out, it's worth a look.
The Last Airbender (2010)
The Last RACE Bender
I was really looking forward to this movie. I am a big fan of the cartoon series, it's very entertaining, original, innocent, funny, and fuels the imagination. Unfortunately the movie has none of these qualities.
When I first saw the preview I was very excited...then I heard James Cameron was directing the Avatar (I thought that meant this movie, not Pocahontas 2010)....and I was even more excited. Then I found out it was M.Night, then I became weary.
I really liked the 6th Sense, and Unreakable was pretty cool too. But the rest of his movies showed that he peaked at the 6th sense. On to the movie..
First of all Aang, Sokka, Katara, are SUPPOSED TO BE Asian..not pasty white kids that can't act!! ARGHH why would they not cast Asian actors?? None of the actors portrayed what the characters should have been,(physically and emotionally) worst than that none of them had their own personalities. Except for Prince Zuko and Uncle Iroh, the acting was terrible...nothing worse than having to watch bad child actors...you feel so sad for them...you picture them overdosing in a hotel room a few years down the road. On to the F.X
First of all bending is Martial Arts NOT modern dance, they looked liked ballet dancers...nothing like the cartoon. I saw it in 2D, the scenery was actually very picturesque...hence 1 star...but it could not save this horrible "movie" I also have to add it's pronounced ANNG not ONG...M.Night get over your ego..you suck!!
The story line was so boring at most parts..and other times it moved too quickly...so it was not cohesive, on top of that it did not stay true to the cartoon which was a huge let down.
To the Studio...please Fire M.Night, or I will not pay to see the sequels. Take a look at what Marvel did with the Hulk, the first one was a disaster...so they scrapped it and started over with different actors and direction...and the second Hulk was a great movie...please do the same here...the source material is classic and does not deserve to be butchered by M.Night.
DO NOT PAY TO SEE THIS MOVIE 1/10
Zeitgeist: Addendum (2008)
Zeitgeist: Addendum : Better Fact Checking Utilized
The First Zeitgeist was an amazing movie that I gave 10/10 despite being a practising and proud Christian. Joseph tackles very taboo topics such as Sept.11th and the U.S agenda of world domination. Because of this fact the film was attacked and all the factual flaws exposed.
In Zeitgiest Addendum Joseph used a better fact checker because the movie is so tight, it's impeccably done.
Joseph delves into the financial system, but this time stays away from theories, and just deals with facts...and the facts alone are scary. We learn that the financial system is basically a pyramid scheme that has taken place over the last 100 years and it is about to crash, no bail out will save them.
What's good about this film is that it offers a solution...the Venus Project....and a Resource based economy, this system of society is beyond Utopia, beyond communism, a technologically advanced society where the survival of humanity is the inspiration. Money is abolished back to the stones age where it came from.
This would be a beautiful place to live, I'd love to see this happen in my children's lifetime...even if it was one city. We have so much more potential as human beings, than working on a shipping doc, to buy cigarettes, so some fat cat can eat lobster....in the new world we will be exploring space, and knowledge will be far more valuable that money.
Like the first, this movie is free...please search for it on line and enjoy.
Zeitgeist (2007)
An Amazing Documentary
Zietgeist is a documentary about the times we live in and how we got here. I found Part 2 and 3 very interesting, informative, and eye opening. Part one was an attack on Christianity which I found unfair, why single out Chritianity when all religions have their faults.
Part 1 Deals with the Christian Religion, basically claiming that it is a myth based on other myths, that Jesus was a fictional character, then goes on to list the injustices and atrocities the catholic church has committed.
*********RANT**************
Yes the Catholics and Christians cleansed a lot of the world, but what about Muslims and Hindus fighting or Bhuddists in China etc. Every religion has their flaws. The Bible is not there to be taken literally, but to be a guide for us. Christianity is a beautiful where of life (like any other religion) and it brings just as much good as bad. The Church is an institution, and all institutions have their own agenda's...don't confuse Religion, Church, Bible and Sprituality, they are 4 different things.
Part 2 Deals with a very touchy subject, Sept.11th attacks. Joeseph is trying to show that it was an inside job, perpetrated or at least allowed by the top levels of U.S Govt. He hit the nail on the head on this part. You can actually see parts where the explosives are going off before the buildings fell....plus the fire fighters and police (the real hero's of 9/11) talking about bombs going off. He also asks about Building 7 which fell for no reason. And asks how congress can accept the bogus 9/11 report. It's a hard reality to face, but the u.S govt is not only corrupt, but criminal. The U.S government destroyed the WTC so they could go into Afganistan and Iraq and steal oil and grow heroin...there's not a doubt in my mind that this is true.
Part 3 Is so very enlightening...it talks about the world banking cartels and how they took over the U.S government a long time ago. Very, Very informative. Joseph explains economics very simply, but never the less correct. (yes I took economics)
Over all a great film, yes it has some flaws, and the doc. is definitely biased, but with the subject matter it's trying to speak on, it has to be.
On top of everything Peter Joseph has made this film available for free. Please search for it online and check it out.
Titanic (1997)
James takes a shot at romance
I remember boycotting Titanic for years. We were taught about the Titanic in school, so when the movie came out, I thought it was pointless, we all knew the ship hit an iceberg and sank.
Well after it came out on VHS, I happened to see it one day and it did not disappoint. I don't like the genre of romance so much, but this movie made me appreciate a good love story.
Yes it was the classic Romeo and Juliet scenario, or rather rich girl poor boy. But it was so much more. The acting was superb, I didn't like Leo before this film, and Kate took the cake, especially when she was posing nude...
This movie put a face (although fictional) to the thousand or so people that died that night in icy water off of the coast of Newfoundland. You almost felt the thousand knives stabbing you as Leo and Kate were plunged into the water. You kinda felt like the King of the World when Leo was flying high.
The Movie was very well acted, the set was amazing, down to every last detail...even the plates said Titanic on them, you really felt you were in the opulent world of the early 20th century high society. The story telling was also beautiful. You also got a taste of what it might be like to party with the "2nd class" immigrants that were coming for a new life in America...I really felt the sense of adventure all the actors tried to portray.
I highly recommend this movie.
Not sure why it's not in the top 250 on IMDb, also anyone that would give this film 1 star doesn't know much about movies.
El laberinto del fauno (2006)
A Somber Fairy Tale
I saw this movie in theatres a few years back. The movie we went to see was playing at very odd times, so in the spirit of spontaneity we went in to Pan's Labryinth. Not knowing what to expect or even what it was about...wow what a surprise and a treat.
The story takes place in war torn France in and around WW1. The heroine a young girl has been moved from her home to a new home with her mother, and her stepfather. The mother is pregnant with the stepfather's child. The stepfather is a very sadistic man whose charge is to stamp out the rebels in the hills...even torture and murder is not overstepping his boundaries in his eyes.
The girl who either has a vibrant imagination or is privy to the mythical world of magic.
She escapes into this world (either real or imagined) to get away from her every day boring and uncomfortable life, especially since her mother has fallen ill with her pregnancy.
All three plot arcs (war, magic world,dysfunctional home life) seem to come together, which is a beautiful thing...but the ending while moving...is VERY disturbing.
I was pleasantly surprised by this movie, you don't notice the subtitles after a while. I've seen it twice since then and it is still beautiful and packs a punch. I highly recommend this movie. 8/10
Avatar (2009)
Good But Not Great
I was anticipating this movie for a long time. I saw it in theatres, not 3D just regular.
I wasn't "blown away" like most people were. I was expecting more from Cameron, but I guess he couldn't get as much out of his CGI animated actors.
The movie was visually stunning, and I loved the premise. It seemed like allegory for what is going on today in the middle east in terms of displacing populations for resources. I really liked that. I liked the fact that U.S marines were toppled by the natives. I liked the message of the movie. How we are all linked to our planet and each other.
The movie is about humans travelling to another star system in search of a precious mineral that is worth it's weight in gold x 1000. How ever there is a problem, the biggest reserves are under the home of the native population...in typical U.S fashion they dispatch the marines to destroy the natives.
The avatar is a genetically modified body that looks like the aliens but is controlled remotely by humans. The human controlling the main character loses himself in the alien culture and soon is forced to choose sides. Beautiful story..just like Pocahontas, or the Last Samurai.
This movies gets high marks for visuals and allegory...however the story was typical, and CGI doesn't convey emotions like real humans...therefore I'm giving it a 7 out of 10, I wouldn't want to see this again, but it was worth seeing the first time.
The Road (2009)
Are we there yet...BOOORING
"The Road" is another post apocalyptic tale. This one revolves around a father and a son and their journey to the coast.
The acting was very good that's why I'm not giving it a lower score...but the scenery was so blahh, various shades of brown and grey. There is no real antagonist...and no real arc. It's a run on plot with an anti-climatic ending. Also they don't give the slightest hint at what causes the devastation.
All in all this is an average movie at best, very little action, no romance and the dialogue between father and son is okay.
If you want to see a worth while post judgement day tale...see "Book of Eli".
6/10
The Matrix (1999)
Few People Know what the Matrix Is
Second Review on IMDb and had to pay my respects to one of the all time best Sci-Fi flicks.
I first saw the Matrix in theatres when it was first released. It blew me away then and still does now.
I gave it a 10 because if you were lucky enough to see this in theatres..it was a treat, it was what going to the movies should be about. A Sci-Fi movie that gets your mind racing, with action and depth in the story..that leaves you totally satisfied at the end.
The movie starts out with a bang and doesn't let up, it keeps you guessing..right up until the end.
The movie is set in a future where A.I has taken over the world from humans, the only reason they were not totally eradicated was because they need us for a power supply as the sun has been blocked out (by chem trails) Humans grow in incubators, our body heat converts to electricity in mega storage facilities were 100's of thousands of humans are stored. They're brains are hooked up to virtual worlds, where they go through the daily grind as per usual, having no idea about the alternate and true reality.
There is one last population of non battery human, they live miles under the surface in an underground fortress city called Zion. They're mission is to rescue more humans and protect Zion. They do this with an Army / Navy of soldiers. 1 captain Morpheous believes there will be a messiah to come and save them all. From there the story takes off.
I highly recommend this move, it's action scenes were cutting edge in 1999, kung-fu fights, gun fights, cgi, it has everything.
The Book of Eli (2010)
"It's Not just a Book, it's a Weapon"
Watching Movies is one of my favourite pastimes, and I've been doing it for a long time. I've actually seen over 220 of the top 250 movies listed on IMDb. But I've never reviewed a movie on this site....until now.
The fact that this movie is not on IMDb's top 250, while movies like "Up" and "Dark Knight" are on there is a crime and shows that most of IMDb users are 12 or 13 with no sense of taste...no offence.
But the real reason this movie is getting such a low score is not because of lack of taste on the part of the viewers, it's because of all the religion haters out there.
This movie is about a soldier of God, played by Denzel...who is on a holy mission to help restore order in a post apocalyptic world where first they rob you and then they eat you. The Book of Eli is actually a Bible, probably the most important book on the planet. So please leave the "Jesus Freak" mentality at the door and enjoy the movie.
Eli is basically a lone wanderer, wandering across the barren former U.S.A with God as his guide and inspiration. He pulls no punches when dealing with people in his way, cutting off arms, and shooting a 12 gauge with surgical accuracy. What's more there is a twist that will make you do a double take and be inclined to watch this movie again. The 2nd time around you will realize Denzel's subtleness and genius. He deserves an Oscar for this performance.
Definitely a must see. I gave it an 8 out of ten because it's a really great movie, with great acting and great action. Far better than half the movies on the top 250.