Reviews

There isn't much to be said about Despicable Me 2 besides that it is great animated fun. When I say that it sounds bland but its because it is practically the same film as the first Despicable Me 2, only with a more light and fun atmosphere. It really does have the same plot and types of twists. I don;t think this is a bad thing though because I see the Despicable Me franchise as a throwback to what old cartoons really mean, which is to provide over the top fun for the sole reason of laughter. But in Despicable Me, it also mixes in some true heart. I could really see the Despicable Me franchise turning into a big series and I would be right along with it due to the fact that the two movies so far are some of the only animated films I have laughed at in a while, and one scene from the second may possibly be the funniest scene in a movie in 2013. I just think the only problem with this sequel is that it copies a lot of the content from the first so it is hard to connect and feel with some of the emotion presented in its flawless predecessor. Not to say it doesn't have heart be cause it does, but it doesn't come in as much of abundance because most of the characters are already developed and some of the side stories of underdeveloped characters are a tad lousy, such as the father-daughter aspects. I think this side story was a little weaker than it could have been and it didn't really tie up in the end. I like the mother-daughter elements better, those were spot on.

But overall Despicable Me 2 is a great animated movie that people of all ages can enjoy. I don't think you really need to see it in the theaters because unfortunately it's 3D isn't as good as it could have been, and the visuals do not compare to other animated films such as Pixar (that doesn't make the movie lesser though since it doesn't rely on visuals, just the screenplay). So I would say it is must see on a rental.

Grade: B+

John Carter was my #1 worst movie of 2012 for many reasons, but mostly because of the horrible production behind it. John Carter was one of Disney's most expensive film of the year and the result of it was horrible set design and the worst CGI we have ever seen in cinema history. The visual effects are worst than some of the $1 million budgeted 1970's cheap action flicks. For a movie that relied on the art production for the movie and poorly delivered on it, it automatically makes it a huge fail.

A typical Sci-Fi movie consists of a poor plot sugar coated in outstanding visuals, but since John Carter lacks the visuals, the fact that its story is total garbage makes it even worse. I have never cared less about any of the characters or what happens to them in my entire life, mostly due to the weak and cheesy writing. I have forgotten what the story is even about because I do not care what so ever. All I remember is that it was a huge muddled mess that drags on and on and tests the audience patience from the very start of the movie. Throw in a ridiculous back story and a clichéd relationship and it makes it all the worse.

I don't think I would have minded John Carter as much if the acting was even close to decent. Along with Battleship in the past year, Taylor Kitsch officially laid his career to rest given his over seriousness and constipated-looking expressions with horrendous line delivery, throw in some poorly choreographed action sequences and we now have ourselves a one hit "wonder" thanks to John Carter. The supporting cast such as Willem Dafoe and the kid from Spy Kids no one has seen in years, the cast only gets worse and worse.

John Carter is the definition of a cash grab, even though it failed miserably at the box office. Thank god though that not too many people had to suffer through this horrible piece of cinematic trash.

Overall Grade: F

This movie really surprised me. It was actually an effective and suspenseful alien flick. I was expecting it to be a stupid clichéd piece of junk where really it was quite frightening. It reminded me a lot of Signs in the sense where its not certain sense of fear of anticipation but rather an uneasy tone set through the whole time and carried from beginning to end. Of course there were some gaping plot holes though out, and characters doing extremely stupid things. And a lot of the screenplay was silly and sometimes even laughable, but it wasn't too big of a deal. Some of the things the characters did such as the window smashing head scene was hilarious and couldn't be taken seriously. I would definitely recommend you rent this on a lazy summer night with nothing else to do. But don't be expecting some blockbuster like Independence Day, because this film works as a stand-alone, not to be taken seriously, surprisingly frightening alien flick.

GRADE: B-

"This is the End" is very easily one of the funniest movies I have seen in my entire life. It worked for many reasons. I absolutely loved how the characters were put in the drastic situation so that they were at their peak of crazy and acted out, bringing out their true characters, literally. The way that each character played an over exaggerated form of themselves made for great humor because they were able to poke fun at the media's image of themselves, and it made it feel like you were joking around with a few friends the whole time. Once this was established, it was able for the funniest lines in recent movie history to pour out one after another. Lets not forget the funniest exorcism in movie history and the surprisingly hilarious two minute discussion of ejaculation. The cameo of Michael Cera was the funniest cameo in recent memory. This review is getting sloppy, but just know that this whole movie is worth the price at the theater to see it with an audience rolling on the floor laughing to get the whole experience. Great movie, see it now.

GRADE: A

I actually liked The Purge. So go ahead, dislike my review and trash all my other reviews and make a YouTube video call me a f*g and say you're going to kill me. Or save it for the Purge.

Does this describe something you would do? Then The Purge is making a social comment about you, and I couldn't agree with it any more. They are trying to say that the world we live in now is worse than a future we live in during which it is legal to kill rape and molest people. This was done in many ways including rubbing it in our faces by making things the doll-faced creeps do humorous, such as when the girl jumped up in the air and got shot and went flying. Half the people in my theater were dying laughing at this. I think the makers of the movie threw this in there to show that our culture has become so adjusted to violence that we laugh at it. Go ahead, think I'm crazy, but I think there were a lot of things like this that were added that made the film a unique experience never before seen. (I never like to give away theme in my reviews, as I've said before, so sorry if this seems underdeveloped. Just go see the movie and see for yourself.) The place that bothered me about the movie is the plot that accompanied the great idea behind the film. The simple home-invasion concept seemed like it didn't suit to the idea properly, and made it seem like the idea of the Purge wasn't even necessary for the plot. Something like the characters are driving home from somewhere, get stuck in traffic during the commencement of the Purge would have been a greater idea. And yes, characters do make very stupid decisions, along with many other horror clichés scattered through out, though there was something that made it almost okay.

The Purge brought about a new style of horror movie that reaches suspense not through characters or situations present, but in human nature. It brings out a fear of people substituting themselves for characters throughout the films. It brings out not terrifying suspense, but more of a type of cutting fear (it is so hard to describe this, just see it for yourself). It is a style of horror I've never seen before.

Overall I really liked The Purge, and don't listen to what other people say. It isn't stupid, they just don't get it. There is so much hidden behind it that many people could not catch it. It is quite the experience that you must witness in a theater to get the whole experience so go out and see it quickly.

GRADE: B+

The things I admire in The Great Gatsby are the things I disliked at the same time. It is so obvious that the plot is so simple, and in no way is it in need of the extravagant production it is packed in. All it is is a simple love story, so I see no reason for there to be a $100 million budget with CGI up the ying-yang and one of the most outlandish costume designs in recent memory. At first, the film comes off as style-over-substance. But as more and more of the theme is revealed (which I never like to give away in my reviews) I can see the reason and a hidden agenda behind this production design, and I really started to enjoy it for what it built itself up to be- a social and human nature statement. Once this was developed, though it took far too long, I could really love the movie. The performances were great and the screenplay is top notch, but it was too far into the film before anything was established. The first hour or so is just useless set up that really took down on my rating for the film. Nevertheless, it is a film worth while for viewing, so I would recommend it.

GRADE: B+

I do not understand the slightest why everyone was freaking out about this film. Nothing special whatsoever. Is it because of the performances, which yes, were outstanding, or this idea of friendship so overbearingly presented it became the whole movie? If yes, I can see these positive aspects and can give the film that, but it is all hidden by poor direction, a unstructured plot, and boring screenplay. The makers of the film take pride in this being one of the first ever dramas being shot with shaky cam, making it the most "gritty" cop film ever made. No matter what anyone says, I do not care if it was gritty, this presentation was so incredibly distracting. There is zero use for it at all, and at points I couldn't tell what was supposed to be in third person or camera perspective, carried by the mob, another aspect of the film I didn't like. The conflict with this mob is so forced and sudden that you're watching a movie with like three sort of related incidents then all of a sudden its a full out death war, totally abrupt and not smoothly lead into at all. The structure is very poor, clearly. That really is all there is to talk about, I guess the friendship themes were good, but it is too covered up in this muddled mess of a story. You do not need to see it like almost everyone else says you do.

GRADE: C-

I'm going to keep this short, simple and sweet because that is exactly what this film is. It's great summer fun for all ages that manages to succeed on the one thing I hate in horror movies; make an idiot of itself. It is where this stupidity in plot events comes from that gives the film its fuel to do nothing but provide brainless over-the-top popcorn fun. It is done so by having some of the best sound editing I have heard in a while with brilliantly paced action sequences, with one fight scene in particular that will surly be the best action scene of the year. I recommend Furious 6 if you're looking to have some fun, but whatever you do, do not walk in there expecting The King's Speech, because it is not what this movie is trying to be- which makes this film so admirable.

Grade: B+

After Earth should be retitled After Birth, because that is exactly how sloppy and dirty this pathetic excuse for a film is. Gross analogy, I know, but trust me, a delivery room after a woman has given birth is a better produced show then this. I honestly don't even know where to start. The film decided to market itself as a Will Smith film, which was the only way to get people to go because of how silly its plot is. Even the Will Smith fans were let down because all he does is sit in a chair the whole time and speak to his son in an over-serious and unintentionally hilarious monotonous voice. He easily gives his worst performance to date, but it is not quite the worst acting in the film. Jaden Smith gives a Razzie worthy performance as an underdeveloped character with a useless upsetting past and an ear-cringing accent. He whines and makes the most stupid mistakes a film character has ever made in the history, provided by the horrendous Shamylan-Esq screenplay where you can't tell if its supposed to be funny or not. "He let me borrow the book Moby Dick, he even let me hold it.""Hold what?" "The book...dad" Word for word. This comes off as a terrible joke some sixth grader tries to make, and there are many nonsense lines like this crammed into the ridiculous plot with gaping and obvious plot holes. Why is he making a fire when he's right above a geothermic vent? Why in the heck did the bird who just tried to eat him save his life? Why is that oxygen mask working when its not even attached to anything? Why did Jaden need to get higher on the volcano to send out the transmission when he was just getting closer to the "radioactive cloud"(dafuq)? A ton of these mistakes are so obviously scattered throughout the terrible script. It really just makes it funny. If you enjoy being entertained by stupid movies, I definitely recommend you check this out because it is so bad its funny.

GRADE: D- (The only reason I'm not giving this piece of crap an F is because it's still not as bad as Last Airbender, so you need to give Shamylan some credit)

PERFECT, PERFECT, PERFECT. THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE ALL BEN WAITING FOR; THE PERFECT FILM IS HERE GUYS!!!!! Nothing more can be said about this film that perfect, sorry. OK, I'll try to give a normal review now. Jennifer Lawrence puts herself on the A list status now in this flawless film by David O. Russel. This film is all about the ups and downs of life and trying to make it through them and find a Silver Linings. We follow Bradley Cooper, who also puts himself up on the finest actors out there, as a recovering bipolar patient who learns that everyone around him has just as many problems as him. It truly has the most heart I have ever seen in a film. It is the most powerful film I have seen in years, it even made me cry, and then cry laughing. Sorry I sound so unprofessional, I am just lost for words about this perfect film. Best movie of 2012, and it easily made it onto my Top 20 of all time list. Again, sorry for being unstructured in this review. GRADE: A+

I couldn't help but think of Taken the entire time I watched this film. And this is a huge compliment, for Taken is one of my favorite action movies. The reason I thought of it is because it is the same fun and intense unique form of film, with a few new daring twists and turns I was thoroughly satisfied with. If you go into this movie expecting The King's Speech, you will be very disappointed. All this is is a ton of fun that you actually care about. I'm glad 2013 has been mostly films aimed towards being just fun. This movie's downfall is the last act of it. It takes an incoherent and kind of disappointing turn that I was let down with. It just couldn't happen, there's no way. And they didn't tie up the mess they created. They just ended it, no explanations, questions asked, nothing. But The brilliant first three quarters of the film far outweigh this sloppy ending. If you're looking for a good time, definitely check out The Call. It may not be The Deer Hunter, but it is sure as hell just as fun to watch. GRADE: B+

AS much as I love Tarantino, his style is getting a little old. Django Unchained would be the perfect film if Tarantino's previous films hadn't been made. It is sharp and clever at the same time with excellent packaging. The performances are outstanding, and it is hilarious. It is a great film. Now that I've said that, I'm going to give a little warning about Tarantino's next films. This movie has no background or message to it. It can barely support itself. If It wasn't made by Tarantino, it would be terrible. Let me explain. Why can he throw all of these racial slurs and offensive materials at us? It isn't like he's trying to prove anything. I get that he's trying to make something for the sake of it being cool, but a little heart to the film would have been good. It gets by on this film, but in the future, he's gonna change something, or it will get tiring. I get I'm saying negative things but as I said its still a great film. You've heard all the positive things about it, I don't need to repeat it. GRADE: A-

As a huge fan of the original, I was extremely satisfied with how Evil Dead turned out. Everything about it paid great homage to the cult classic. I was nervous that it would shy away from the camp and cheese that made the original so unique, but the film wasn't afraid to pile on the over the top gore along with surprisingly scary elements that, to me, were not present in the original. The only problem is that the end comes about a little too abrupt and tries to seem a little to bigger than it really is. And although the action is some of the most fun I've had in a movie theater all year, it comes in a little to late in the film. There is too much build up behind characters I didn't necessarily care about. But as soon as they start to be teared apart, you remember what the original was all about, and what its like to have fun in a horror movie again. GRADE: A-