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Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)
Awful
This movie is astonishingly close to unwatchable. A shame, really. Hitman done right could be very good. Think Bourne meets Ocean's Eleven.
I have to type 150 characters, so here's some more.
True Story: Chapter 4: We Should Be Together Too (2021)
For the Stan reference alone
I am going to go ahead and give this episode a 10 simply because of the title.
Also, the show is decent. Kevin hart does a fair job in a role you have not seen him in before.
Red Notice (2021)
Assumes you're a complete imbecile
This movie is unwatchable if you're not retarded or a child. There are so many cliches and plotholes it's unbearable.
The *only* thing that's sometimes slightly entertaining is Reynold's signature commentary.
No Time to Die (2021)
PC nonsense
And beyond that, it's just boring and predictable.
7.7 is a laughable rating as it stands right now. This belongs at around 5.5.
Behind Her Eyes (2021)
Paranormality ruined it
Was pretty promising, but unfortunately it rides on a paranormal plotline with "souls" switching bodies etc. Totally ruined the suspense/story and as soon as this became obvious I lost all interest in the show.
Black Mirror: Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too (2019)
Disappointment
This episode felt like a low-budget teen-movie. So, so bad and way below BM standards.
Beats (2019)
The music is so bad
One of the big problems with films about music in cases where the music isn't from the real world is that the music is usually awful. This fact is what made movies like A Star Is Born stand out: Lady Gaga did her thing. The "beats" that come out of this film and the accompanying rap is absolute trash. Cringeworthily bad. I literally think I could make better music myself, and I gave up music years ago. Aside from this the acting is somewhat poor and the story cliché. I tried to watch it waiting for a flight at the airport, but staring into the wall at Charles de Gaulle quickly became more interesting.
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Come on
This is a superhero movie. It doesn't deserve a 9.3 rating. Better than Godfather? Shawshank? Are you kidding me?
It belongs at 7-8. Rated 6 to adjust for voter stupidity.
A Star Is Born (2018)
Very good
This is a good story. If you haven't watched the original and don't know what happens, it also is surprising and very emotional.
I was not a big fan of the direction. I thought some scenes were oddly out of place and actually distracted me a little bit. However:
Lady Gaga is absolutely amazing in this. Rarely does talent of her scale come along. The big problem with original stories about musicians is usually that the music sucks - otherwise, why not just release the music? I'm looking at you, Rockstar (2001). Not so in this case. There are some nothing short of stunning songs and vocal performances to be experienced in this movie, albeit with a distinctive Lady Gaga-feel to them, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. She will at the very least receive an Oscar nomination for best original song for either Shallow or Always Remember Us This Way.
Cooper did good, and I was surprised to find out that the vocals are actually his and are actually recorded live. Usually this would be dubbed afterwards, possibly by a whole other person, but as I understand Gaga would not allow this, which resulted in some very convincing shots of their live performances together.
And:
If you give this movie 1 star you're obviously a moron. The 1-10 scale is not meant to be used as a binary, so if you didn't like it, argue why and give it a 5-6-7 or something reasonable.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Boring
I'll put about as much original and exciting content into my review as the people who made this film put into it. Here you go:
*nothing*
It's not worth watching at all. It's incredibly predictable and cliché. Boring is the most appropriate word to attach to this film.
Ocean's Eight (2018)
Unbelievably bland and technologically laughable
The premise is decent, and I think Sandra Bullock was pretty good, but that's about it for the positives.
Rihanna's character was ridiculous, and the technical aspects of everything they did was ludicrous. I get that "hacking" is still a somewhat mysterious phenomenon to most people (the most accurate I've seen yet is still The Social Network when Zuckerberg steals the photos off the Houses' Facebooks), but given the budget a movie like this comes with, you could at least hire a guy who has the slightest idea how hacking works. It's 2018, not 2001. You can't get away with the nonsense portrayed in this film anymore. It ruins it for me, completely.
To people who aren't much into computers: If this was a medical drama, it would be equivalent to a doctor performing brain-surgery with his eyes closed, high on mushrooms, using a remote-controlled chainsaw. It's beyond belief.
No funny moments.
No character development.
Predictable.
Boring.
Cowspiracy: The Sustainability Secret (2014)
Utter nonsense
This "documentary" is not a documentary. It's a rabid attempt to make everyone who isn't a vegan feel like they should be. The science mentioned in this film is purposedly misinterpreted or straight up false. Just Google something like "Cowspiracy accuracy". It's ludicrous.
And I'm all for being vegan, saving the planet and what not, but Cowspiracy does that take a reasonable approach to this subject at all. It's scare tactics and nothing else. But hey - if you became vegan after watching it then it served its purpose. The reason you became vegan may be nonsense, but you became vegan nonetheless. Just remember that.
Eye in the Sky (2015)
Thrilling
This movie will have you on the edge of your seat from beginning to end. Helen Mirren is superb and Alan Rickman likewise.
Inside Look: The People v. O.J. Simpson - American Crime Story (2016)
He obviously did it
Today there's no denying that OJ killed Ron and Nicole. Racism, emotion, riots, media etc. aside, the evidence was overwhelming to say the least. I was not old enough to have followed the original trial, but I think this series was great entertainment and it seemed very true to the story (which should be easy given the amount of content available). An interview with OJ from some years back was released in March 2018, in which he actually goes into detail (in first person narrative) about how he killed the couple. It's available on YouTube. I think the acting was great, and most of the cast was spot on - with the ironic exception of OJ himself, which isn't Cuba Gooding's fault; they just don't look alike at all. Definitely worth the watch.
The Dark Knight (2008)
Heath Ledger is this move
I don't recall ever watching any on-screen performance as great as Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker. I'm not a great fan of the Batman franchise, and the runtime of this movie is a little too long in my opinion.
With that said; everyone should watch this because of Heath. Oscar well deserved.
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Phenomenal
This movie is superb. There are very few flaws. The acting is great, with Hillary Swank absolutely shining in the lead, well deserving of her Academy Award for Best Actress.
The only thing that always bugged me is the explanation behind the knock-out "mechanism", which is simply incorrect.
The 1/10 ratings are moronic. Don't pay attention to them. People don't know film if they think this deserves 1/10.
Jurassic World (2015)
Medicore reboot
It's what you'd expect really. Predictable, slightly boring, visually great (as with all modern sci-fi) but unfortunately not great entertainment. I found it to be pretty bland.
Ibiza (2018)
Bad. Very bad.
The only thing that makes sense is the music. The rest is beyond idiotic and not remotely funny at any point.
Black Panther (2018)
Not good
This movie is terribly cliche, predictable and downright boring.
Fifty Shades Freed (2018)
Terrible
Quite possibly one of the worst movies I've ever sat through. Just plain awful from beginning til end.
Ready Player One (2018)
So much potential wasted
This was a decent flick. Lots of fun pop-culture references, but the clichés and PG-13 rating-environment unfortunately makes it a little dreary.
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Comic book hack and slash cannot go above 7
It does not matter how much of a fan you are, this movie is generic, lowest denominator entertainment. It's fine, but does not deserve its current rating of 9.1. Are you guys kidding? This is as good as The Godfather or Shawshank? Please. I'm sure it'll drop to a more appropriate rating when the hype dies down.
Den of Thieves (2018)
Great movie
I have no understanding for the 1-star ratings. They make no sense at all. This was an outstanding movie - simple as that.
Unsolved (2018)
Surprisingly good
I watched this with some skepticism since many attempts at Biggie and Tupac have failed miserably in the past, most recently the Tupac movie - but this is really good. The cast is great and the show has incredible historical detail. Important parts are told with a mix of new shots with actors and homevideos and photos of the actual events from 96 and 97. I had goosebumps on quite a few occasions. Definitely worth a watch, even for people who don't have any interest in the music or icons that are Tupac Shakur and The Notorious B.I.G.
Jason Bourne (2016)
Ridiculous... at best
First of all; I absolutely loved the trilogy - even Bourne Legacy was decent. I had even re-watched them in preparation for this.
But this movie is absolute garbage. There is no plot except "hey, catch Bourne". Everything related to "hacking" in this movie is just absolutely ludicrous. No, you cannot hack anything by pressing the big green "Break in"-button - this is not something we have not seen before, but the level of absurdity in the "hacking" in this particular movie is just beyond belief. It really ruined the movie for me, being just a little proficient in IT.
Moving on. Camera work sucks, Tommy Lee Jones is annoying and doesn't make any sense in his role. Bourne hardly speaks at all. It's basically two hours of car-chases, random melee combat and killing innocent bystanders all interconnected with some Facebook-like social media that the CIA is planning to somehow illegally use for surveillance. They call this the plot, I think. They managed to integrate some of Bournes past (and lack of memory) into the story, but it had nothing to do with ANYTHING.
Don't waste your time with this. And Matt - I am disappointed that you agreed to do this movie.