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mkaide
Reviews
Dragon Eyes (2012)
A collage movie
This feels like a collage movie. There are so many scenes that seem to be drawn from other movies, it makes it impossible to get immersed in the 'story'(such as there is one). The effect is jarring, like experiencing a sequence of superficial deja vus that bring to mind the superior films they were channeling. Particularly notable is Peter Weller's horribly camp cartoon villain which stood out as a very poor impersonation of Christopher Walken's Vincenzo Coccotti (from True Romance).
Overall, a really poorly written film. Even after an hour and a half, you don't feel as though you've come away with an understanding of any of the characters, including, problematically with the protagonist,Hong (played by Le) who basically spends the duration of the movie in an ambiguous pursuit for redemption, acting out vaguely motivated duties for the pleasure of his mentor Tiano (Van Damme). Hong clearly shouldn't be the brains of any operation because the culminating tone of 90 minutes of his machinations is akin to walking out of room filled with your significant others trumpeting an especially tempestuous fart. Having said that, Cung Le wasn't bad, struck me as an interesting presence deserving to be in a better movie, reminding me of a more youthful Bolo Yeung.
As for Van Damme, it seems that they only had him for afternoon or so. He's just basically there to phone in the role of a generic fight coach/zen master. In any case, its always good to see that guy, though not at the cost of watching this movie again.
One to miss.
Goal III: Taking on the World (2009)
Your time is your most valuable commodity, don't waste a second of it on this tripe.
I'll leave it to Santi who says it best: "I've seen the movies and I know how easy it is to mess these things up..." Apologetic and he should be. Having seen 'Plan 9 from Outer Space', I scarcely believe this could have been worse had been directed by Ed Wood himself. Let's not mistake the preceding Goal films for classics, at best they felt as though they were written by a 10 year old with the sort of stilted dialogue that would give an episode of 'Footballer's Wives' an almost poetic feel, but only by comparison.
This film has an abortive feel throughout. It's evident the makers lost credibility with the profession gatekeepers as there is nothing like the access the preceding films could boast. Cameos from Shearer, Casillas, Beckham and Ronaldo, etc are limply matched this time around against the glitz of the chuckle brothers Mike Ashley and Paul Kemsley and some of the worst green scene work you could ever come across.
I could go on about Santiago's already cliché-ridden story being butchered by an even more soporific storyline involving two of the least interesting and sympathetic characters ever conceived. I could talk about how characters integral the trilogy are conspicuously absent (evidently some actors/actresses wanted to preserve some semblance of dignity out of this farce), the taxi driver who for some reason is in almost every scene, the Geordies who resemble Harry Enfield's Scousers (minus the humour). In any case those issues were posthumously examined by a 1001 other reviews before mine, and most likely reflective of the filmmakers, I really couldn't care less. This is absolute garbage and it really makes you wonder how anyone involved could really work again.