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Death Machine (1994)
5/10
After seeing this film, producer Peter Frankfurt chose Norringron to direct Blade.
21 April 2024
I watched this movie for free on YouTube.

The version that I watched is 2+ hours; it's definitely too long and could've benefited from a tighter edit.

In the Connections section, IMDb has listed a number of References; i think that a few are missing, namely: Predator, RoboCop and Universal Soldier. Some users have probably picked up on a few other more missing references, as well.

I really love Blade (the opening scenes / set pieces are iconic & unrivaled!) so i'm glad that Norringron got that directing gig based on his efforts in this movie right here.

This movie is not without its merits. The standout performance for me was John Sharian: Charismatic & funny. I'm kinda surprised that he didn't end up having a better career! Oh well.
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Judge Minty (2013)
1/10
Absolute utter trash!
14 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
They couldnt find a gayer name for the main protagonist other than Minty?!

Every thing about this short is really really bad, the main protagonist old man is really a bad actor but he looks like Marlon Brando compared to the other "actors" in this fiasco! The main villain is some Mad Max / Jamiroquaï reject with some vague u explained powers ... and what was also up with the unexplained Predator-esque invisi-lizard things?!

They have obviously thrown a lot of ideas at the wall and none of them seem to stick! The only maybe good thing about this is some interesting locations and some production values here & there but that's about it!

In summary: Extremely mediocre effort. Highly forgettable and not recommended!
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7/10
Enjoy it on its own; do not compare it to Sorcerer (1977)
1 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
I have just watched Sorcerer (1977) - available for free on YouTube - and this movie, back-to-back. They are two completely different animals, so comparison is really futile here.

I can still enjoy this movie on its own, but I need to point out a few things that massively irritated me:

1. Dead cops left laying outside of Fred's boss villa: Really? You kill a number of policemen and you just leave their corpses lying all over the place? You don't even bother to quickly hide their bodies out of sight?!

2. Canister explosion at solar farm: Alex is supposedly an explosives expert, yet he casually and non-chalant-ly just leaves a nitro canister lying around in the open like that so that anyone can trip it over and cause a massive explosion?!

3. The final sacrifice by Fred: Clearly the truck could've been thrown at the fire with no one present behind the wheel; this final sacrifice was not really necessary but obviously it was done for dramatic effect, to give Fred a redemption arc with Alex.

Last but not least, I kept being distracted by how much Franck Gastambide looks almost exactly like Thierry Henry! Uncanny.
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Swelter (2014)
5/10
Boring AF, tbh, but still kinda watchable
14 March 2024
So this is definitely a slowww-burn thriller with sporadic action, not an out-and-out actioner.

The acting all-around is kinda good, for this low-budget effort. It does come alive in the last 20 minutes or so, after meandering for more than an hour. The cast is OK but JVCD and Alfred Molina are completely wasted. JVCD is kinda sleep-walking thru the whole fiasco, mumbling his lines, and relegated to a supporting role.

All other aspects of the production are serviceable, but the end result is still pretty average & forgettable. You can watch this movie on Amazon Prime Video, in the UK, free with ads.
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9/10
Watching this on a gloomy rainy Sunday in London
10 March 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Midway through the movie there's a scene between Sam and Alfred where Sam - out of nowhere - has an injury above his left eye and a bandaged injured right hand; apparently, that's a continuity error, according to the Goofs section.

I've previously read the French novel on which this movie is based and - from memory - the ending or denouement is very much different from the movie adaptation.

Also, I'm pretty sure that the 1st time that I watched this movie, when I was living in France, the dialogue was - unsurprisingly - in French. Watching it now again, in the UK, on Amazon Prime Video (free, with ads) the dialogue is entirely in English, but it doesn't look dubbed! It's as if they have filmed the movie both in French and English? Is that possible? I didn't find anything about that in the Trivia section.

A glaring plot hole for me is how the zombies (or, infected) stay alive for so long, with no obvious sources of food? Especially, Alfred. We're pretty sure that Alfred is not getting any food because he's a prisoner, so how is he still alive?

One last thing, when Sam was trying to lure a stray cat, it obviously reminded me of I Am Legend and Robert Neville trying to lure a stray dog.
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Drive Hard (2014)
3/10
3 Getaway cars and all of them are Automatic!
19 November 2023
This low-budget clunker is an absolute embarrassement on every conceivable level to everyone involved in its making!

1st of all, why did they have to shoot it in Australia? I'm assuming it was purely for budgetary reasons.

2nd of all, these silly Americans utilize 3 different getaway cars and all of them are automatic! How utterly pathetic that these silly yanks don't know how to drive manual!

Also, no one in this movie can shoot straight! The gun play is utterly ludicrous! On the plus side, the run time is short enough and the pacing is swift. There's some passable chemistry between John Cusack & Thomas Jane. All other actors are completely forgettable.
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Rollerball (2002)
1/10
Utterly incomprehensible & incoherent!
12 October 2023
Do not waste your time on this incoherent and incomprehensible mess! Read the Trivia section for this movie to get an idea of what kind of jumbled up mess the final movie actually is!

The editing is absolutely disastrous! The camera work and sound design are extremely amateurish (the night club scene after the 1st game is shockingly bad). The acting - especially by Chris Klein - is bad and bland. What is up with all of the silly faces that Chris Klein kept making? Imagine a bad rendition of a young & dumb Keanu Reeves (who, incidentally, was originally intended to play Jonathan Cross).

In summary: Avoid like the plague! Watch the original instead.
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Wrath of Man (2021)
5/10
Non-Spoiler Alert: The original French movie is vastly superior!
8 October 2023
Are you really shocked when I tell you that the original Le convoyeur (2004) is vastly superior to this paltry remake effort?

The main reason is that, in the original, the protagonist is an everyday man, citizen lambda, where as in this monstrosity of a remake the protagonist has been made into an invincible Terminator-esque force of nature which takes away any pathos from the viewer and any semblance of relatability!

A few little things also remain unanswered, not plot holes per se but just random open questions like: What exactly is the original business of H? What exactly is the nature of his relationship with Agent King? What exactly happened to H's original crew after he initially went back to London?

In summary: Watch the original Le convoyeur (2004) for a more visceral and authentic experience.
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Ted K (2021)
7/10
Not too sure about all of the psycho-sexual undertones...
2 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I consider myself quite versed on the Ted K lore. This movie is well made, very artistic approach with a mixture of visual styles.

It's really a 1 man show, Sharlto Copley is really good in this, and he also acts as producer, just in case you didn't know.

Re the many psycho-sexual undertones and suggestions that Ted K was massively sexually frustrated and that this somehow influenced his terroristic activities, i'm not sure if this is entirely accurate and officially documented? Not sure if it's entirely biographical or some artistic licence taken by the movie maker?

They basically say that Ted K being sent to university at the young age of 16 has massively hampered his social skills especially with the ladies. I found that scene, when Ted K confesses over the phone to his mother that the most he was able to accomplish with females was to only manage to kiss 3 women in his entire life, that scene was utterly cringe worthy and again not sure if it's based on actual events?
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7/10
Very fun and underrated 90's actioner!
23 September 2023
I was worried while reading the Trivia section for this title, before watching the actual movie, but i'm now glad to report that all of my worries have been proved unfounded!

This is a fast paced, very fun and underrated 90's actioner. It really hits the spot with no fuss. A great combination of action, comedy, drama, and it also has heart. Mickey Rourke exudes a rogue charm that is almost accidental. This man's career is one of the most tragic stories in Hollywood! He could've been so much more! Don Johnson plays an anti Sonny Crockett, in his post Miami Vice era. The supporting cast are all also very good in their respective roles.

Highly recommended for some nostalgia pseudo macho fun!
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7/10
Stick with it, it comes alive in E3: Resurrection
23 September 2023
Yes it's a bit corny and dated but honestly it's not as bad as you might think! You can even watch this series with little to no pre-requisite previous knowledge of RoboCop lore.

The acting is hit & miss, but in my opinion: More hit than miss. The set designs and production values are adequate, even if limited and most probably hampered by a limited budget. The writing is typical for a 2001 sci-fi series, even if slightly corny at times, especially when coupled with some hammy deliveries!

In summary: I do recommend watching this series. In the UK the 1st 2 episodes are free to watch on Amazon Prime Video. Episodes 3 & 4 are available via an Amazon Prime subscription.
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Retrograde (2004)
5/10
Not a total waste of time but could've been much better!
16 September 2023
If you read the Trivia section for this title then you might be inclined to cut it a bit more slack.

I was actually quite surprised by the production values & set designs of this movie, as well as the visual effects; not too bad and half decent indeed!

Where this movie falters is in the acting department. The acting is not bad per se, but quite wooden, stilted and a tad amateurish. Pace & editing are ok; the music score is pretty forgettable. Fight scenes choreography is a bit lame, nothing to write home about. Make up effects are also decent, if not underused, again perhaps due to budget limitations.

The running time is tight, so in summary: Not a bad way to kill 90 minutes with this little known B movie from 2004.
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Rollerball (1975)
10/10
James Caan is criminally underrated !!!
19 August 2023
I have actively avoided watching this movie for a long time because of the stink of Rollerball (2002) but this has turned out to be an absolute gem of a movie!

I've been a fan of James Caan since watching Thief (1981) and in this movie I felt him channeling a young Marlon Brando esque performance: A mix of savagery & beauty, stoicism & sensibility.

The game of Rollerball itself is inconsequential to enjoying the actual movie, it's just a plot device to deliver the core message of the movie. The themes & motifs of the movie are easy to understand and to follow. I absolutely loved the camera work, and the editing work on this movie. My favorite scene is undoubtedly the trees burning scene. Extremely powerful & layered scene.
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Lethal Weapon: Coyote Ugly (2019)
Season 3, Episode 13
1/10
The absolute worst episode of the entire series!
8 July 2023
Granted, there are 2 more episodes in this series left for me to watch but, having made it so far, i have found this episode to be the absolute worst episode of the entire series!

As other reviewers have pointed out, the writing in this episode is an absolute joke! Lazy, ludicrous and boring, tbh! The 1st 2 seasons of this series were amazing; i was expecting to hate season 3 but shockingly enough: I don't hate it! I was kinda enjoying it so far, up until this silly episode!

I will finish watching the series, as i only have 2 more episodes after this one, and i really hope that they finish on a high!
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Zoo (2007)
1/10
This is NOT a documentary!
3 April 2023
This is a pseudo artistic retelling of the story, based on audio interviews. There are many holes & gaps in the story telling so if you want to learn the full facts then you'll have to do your own research.

The chronology & narrative choices that are made by the film makers are quite odd, so the end product feels less than the sum of its parts. Why include for example the interview with the actor that played the role of Cop#1 ??

Maybe to the credit of the film makers i have to say that they presented the audio interviews of the zoophiles in a totally objective manner, without taking any sides or making any judgments about them and their lifestyle.

In summary: I do not recommend this film if you're looking for a full documentary experience about the subject matter. It's not a total waste of time, and it does carry some artistic merit, but in the end it's quite a hollow & pointless endeavour.
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Split Image (1982)
9/10
Very good movie, and scarily realistic!
11 March 2023
This is a very good movie and scarily realistic even in 2023! I love that Danny 'Joshua' Stetson starts out as a smarmy cynical young man and his transformation feel quite credible.

A few things about the cult are implied but never made really explicit, e.g. How they use hard labour and malnutrition as tools for control. How they use religion as substitute for sex. I wondered if Kirklander was drugging his disciples because Danny 'Joshua' Stetson mentioned that he doesn't shave anymore and no longer has any sex drive, and Rebecca mentioned that she and the other girls no longer get their period. Was this physical transformation induced by drugs or was it a psycho-somatic phenomenon? Other topics were mentioned in passing but not fully explored, e.g. When Charles Pratt mentions that Homelanders are in fact collecting money for charities that don't exist.

The theme of duality - foreshadowed earlier in the movie by Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde - continues here by making us ask the question: Who are the 'good' guys? And who are the 'bad' guys? Is Homeland really such a horrible place compared to the materialistic world outside? Is Kirklander really such a bad guy compared to Charles Pratt?

The de-programming scenes were the best part of the movie! Especially the scene where the cult attacks the safe house and the aftermath of that; the exchange that Charles Pratt has with Danny 'Joshua' Stetson's family is very powerful & revealing stuff!
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5/10
The Dark Knight Rises meets Fight Club meets Sherlock Holmes
9 March 2022
The Dark Knight Rises meets Fight Club meets Sherlock Holmes. Really, an overlong bloated amalgamation of those 3 movies / influences.

I rarely watch any Russian movies so i guess it's worth watching if only as an artistic curiosity.
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Restless (2022)
5/10
Like an extended episode of THE SHIELD (2002)
26 February 2022
In summary, this French remake of 'Ggeutggaji ganda' (2014) - which I have NOT seen - plays like an over extended episode of THE SHIELD (2002). The only difference is that THE SHIELD (2002) is very well made and very believable, whereas this movie requires huge amounts of suspension of disbelief. Watch THE SHIELD (2002) instead.
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Night Hunter (1996)
1/10
A proto BLADE (1998) curiosity
26 February 2022
This movie is very bad but a slightly interesting curiosity as a very low budget, very badly acted, proto BLADE (1998). It could have been so much butter with better acting, better effects and less shaky cam or as I like to call it: Earthquake cam, during fight scenes!
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Hard Target 2 (2016 Video)
5/10
Severely lacking the charm of the original!
6 February 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Robert Knepper tries very hard but the combination of him and Temuera Morrison is far inferior to the charismatic duo of Lance Henriksen & Arnold Vosloo.

Scott Adkins also tries very hard but again falls short of JCVD's charisma and screen appeal.

Even the director Roel Reiné tries very hard to imitate John Woo's style by overusing slomos and blatantly inserting doves into some key scenes!

Plenty of goofs as well:
  • Ann Truong is playing a poor villager from Myanmar but also she's an expert martial artist and nonchalantly fluent in English, which she speaks with an extremely posh accent!


  • The memory card: First of all, they take it out of the safe camera housing and store it in a wet dirty pouch, where it's transported mixed with a bunch of blunt stones! Then at the end of the movie, we never know what actually happened to the footage, no big news exposé or anything! What's even the point?!
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Cypher (2002)
1/10
Absolute trash, atrocious acting
30 January 2022
Dated SFX, silly plot, not smart, not clever, severely overrated. Do not watch! I'm severely unimpressed by this sub par effort. None of the people involved in this movie have amounted to anything anyway.
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Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021 TV Special)
1/10
Dave Chappelle's biggest sin is that he is NOT funny (anymore).
21 October 2021
I am (or should i say, I was) a big fan of Dave Chappelle. I loved everything that he has done up until (and including) Chappelle's Show.

Since he had his exile / hiatus episode and he came back on the scene, he simply is no longer funny and/or relevant.

If Chappelle wants to dabble in politics or activism then let him do that but just leave comedy alone, because he's no longer a comic/comedian.

The Closer is simply NOT funny.

I also felt that Chappelle was playing the victim card too much, engaged in multiple What-Aboutisms and unnecessarily pitted the Black experience vs. The LGBT experience in a useless Misery Competition of sorts.

2 thumbs down. Not Recommended. Go watch his earlier, funnier, stuff instead: Killin' Them Softly, For What It's Worth, and Chappelle's Show.

Chris Rock is infinitely superior to Dave Chappelle.
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5/10
Serviceable, with a lame running gag
16 July 2021
Warning: Spoilers
This serviceable but ultimately forgettable low-budget movie has a lame running gag of the SWAT commander being knocked out randomly throughout the movie; by the 1-hour mark i counted no less than 4 times that this fool got knocked out on his silly ass! Also, the cgi blood + bullet holes are really really bad!
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Code Red (2013)
6/10
Goes downhill fast following a brilliant opening sequence!
9 July 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The makers of this movie shot their wad in the 1st 15 minutes: The opening sequence is absolutely brilliant, kinetic and innovative. Yeah, a bit of shaky cam action but still impressive nonetheless. After that, the movie devolves into a generic lame flick ... I did appreciate tho what they did with the zombies facial make-up/prosthetics, atypical and original if i dare say so. The ending is a bit meh, they went down the '28-weeks-later' route.
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Alone in the Dark 2 (2008 Video)
1/10
Abysmal on every conceivable level!
8 June 2021
Bad script, bad acting, bad dialogue, bad effects; really, no redeemable qualities whatsoever. Total & complete waste of time! Avoid at all costs!
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