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Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: Dreams in the Witch House (2022)
A dead rat, a witch and the forest of lost souls jumbled together, very few redeeming qualities
What was that? After mostly good episodes, suddenly this tired, repetitive massacre of a Lovecraft story.
Boy looses sister, sees her ghost and devotes his life to seeing her again. Somehow, this ties in with a witch's house and the triangular paintings of an hyper-dramatic young woman, who says the most quotidian things as though they were linguistic abominations from the abyss. A witch is involved and a rat. The bodies of the latter two (yes, the rat and the witch) are also somehow involved, but don't ask me how. The whole episode feels contrived and weird in a bad way. You may actually enjoy it more if you expect comedic relief.
Any redeeming qualities? Hmmm... The witch's house looks interesting, as does the forest of lost souls (which for some unknown reason also is part of the story). Yes, overall the scenery is okay and gives a rather convincing sense of the 30s. Shostakovich's musical piece Waltz Triste is a favourite of mine and is featured, so that was also nice.
My conclusion: this is an episode to avoid if you are not in desperate need of killing time. +1 star for the scenery and +1 for featuring Shostakovich.
Hellraiser (2022)
These cenobites actually bite!
The original Hellraiser is such a great movie. Somehow, my love of that first film has made me like the sequels more than they deserve, just because they allow me another peek into that hellish world I once came to admire. For most other fans of the franchise, this bias seems to go the other way; inferior sequels are trashed more than they warrant, because they never reach the heights of the original. I feel the same is true here.
Taken on its own merit, this is an average film, not terrible, not great. Just okay entertainment. For myself, I again enjoyed the nightmarish imagination that ultimately is Clive Barker's and of course I am wrong to give this film any credit for it. But I also do feel that other reviewers are too negative; the reboot is not terrible, not the "worst" etc. Yes, the acting is not extremely good, the script acceptable, the cenobite costumes are far from perfect and yes, the interesting Voight character could have been used much more generously.
Yet - it's another chance to enjoy that set of brilliant ideas that animates the franchise. Did I have unrealized hopes for this film? - Definitely. Was it anything near the original movie? - Definitely not. Did I laugh when a cenobite actually bit a protagonist's arm? - Oh, yes. Did I have fun watching it? - Absolutely (apologies to all the purist Hellraiser fans out there!)
The Priest (2021)
Intimate melodrama told in over-the-top horror style
This film is far too long. Cut down to a third, it would have been much better. I think there is a good story to be found somewhere in there. But the story is actually a kind of supernatural family melodrama, which does not fit the over-the-top style, soundtrack and length of the movie. And I really don't understand the catholic theme, it very much felt like an add-on.
Would I recommend? No, the payoff, if there is one, is not worth the time you need to invest to get through it.
Lifeforce (1985)
Only if you're into boooobs
This is from the time when feminist analysis of films made a lot of sense. This film is entirely centred on a naked young alien female and the main protagonist's obsession with her. Two young, naked and attractive men come along with her, but they get barely a mention. On the testosterone-pumped ride, you will be acquainted with space vampires, vampire-zombies, exploding ghouls and plenty of gaping plot-holes.
The First Purge (2018)
Painfully bad action flick
Given the budget this movie had, the result is abysmal. Its worst sin is to have made an action movie out of a horror franchise. Its second is to be entirely predictable. The third is to not even attempt making the plot or its characters believable.
El hoyo (2019)
Excellently produced allegory for inequality
Excellent movie. Has depth, interesting characters, a message and gore. Possibly one of my favourite combinations of qualities in a film.
To people who say that the film's message is unclear or stupid: the hole and the platform are metaphors driven to their extreme. It's called allegory, it is a genre and it has a lot of validity to it, at least if you realise it's premise. This particular instance of allegory works quite well as a reflection on inequality and it's mechanisms.
La Marca del Demonio (2020)
A few new twists to demonic possession
Two sisters get hold of a demonic book and read from it aloud. Obviously, they should not have. The consequences lead one sister to seek help from an exorcist who has unexpected connections.
Quite good actually, some new twists on the typical demon possession story. The characters are unusually fleshed out. Some gore, some jump scenes, but is foremost carried forward by the story. On the negative side, the film is a bit short and quite a few threads are kept loose at the end. There are some very obvious cliches used, but I do feel they are overall used consciously and playfully.
So, an overall good film to watch.
Dracula (2020)
Must see, but prepare for a different tone in the third act
I really don't get the negative reviews. Have those reviewers watched any quality horror? Horror explores the dark in humans, and in the process it can get to weird places. Yes, the third and final act of Dracula gets a bit strange and has a different tone than the first two episodes. But damn, it's dark. And the mini-series is overall really innovative for the genre. For fans of horror, I think this is a must see.
Eli (2019)
Much better than expected
This was a treat. After watching it, I really don't get the trashing reviews. Did we watch the same film? It's not a masterpiece, mind you, but it's definitely very entertaining and keeps you guessing till the end.
The acting was overall good, the plot quite intriguing. The main part of the plot, that Eli is basically allergic to the world, was interesting and made me philosophise a bit about allergies and fear. The way the film plays with contemporary tropes about feeling well ("breath, just breath, you're going to be okay!") was fun and sometimes disturbing. Again, much better than expected!
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
Boring early teenage version
This film is Annabelle for youngsters in their early teens. The most scary scene is as though copied from one of the lesser Fright Night episodes. I can't help feeling the film is very deliberately targeting young girls, as it features only female protagonists, besides a shy, good-looking boy who is there only to court one of the women.
Sometimes, movies for teenagers can have rather imaginative narratives. Not so here. It is basically the story of a baby-sitting night in a haunted house. The rest is jump-scares and the occasional hinting at other stories that are never explored beyond a few screams and shadows.
If you are a young teenage girl with little horror movie experience, this may tickle you a little. The film will likely bore most others.
Prince of Darkness (1987)
Not aged very well
This is an okay movie and it certainly works as an evenings distraction. But it still is one of Carpenter's worse. A good idea is underpinning the premise of the story, yet I feel it was weighed down by too little attention to detail. For example, the attempts at being "scientific" in this movie are simply abysmal, perhaps some of the worst I have seen. Also, there is a huge gap between the fact that "the prince of darkness" is all-encompassing and extremely powerful, and the fact that it concerns itself with controlling of a few university students. Simply put, the film asks me to disregard too many holes in its logic.
The acting is so-so, but I did enjoy the performance of Victor Wong!
Apostle (2018)
I mourn a great idea, directed to smithereens
When watching Apostle, I get the same feeling as with some other bad movies in recent years. A lot is just right; there are really interesting and good ideas in the material, and most actors are okay, music quite good, and the visuals are great. But the direction and editing of the film just kills it.
I think this is the basic incorrect assumption that moves the director in this case: the audience will totally buy anything that happens if it fits within the stereotypical narrative I signal at the start of the movie. A cultish and isolated community = brave but haunted individualists fight against weak but cynical communitarians that always become too dogmatic for their own good. If the film narrative is kept within those parameters, the audiences will totally buy everything.
But that assumption is wrong. We, the audience, are capable of noticing when characters act out of character (happens a lot here), when people suddenly seem to have dressed up in black sacrifice clothes in seconds, or people change their opinions of each other between two scenes.
Lesson learned: don't adapt everything to a stupid, stereotypical narrative. Instead, adapt the narrative to great ideas and interesting characters. I know it's hard, but that's what they pay you for!
Anyway, I mourn the really interesting idea at the bottom of this train wreck of a film, as well as the great photography.