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1/10
A movie about a baker from 1920's era New York City
4 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is about a baker who works in a canning factory in 1920's New York City. He served in the Great War. He wants to open a bakery using his grandmother's recipes because he hates canned food. He goes to the bank to try and get a loan but he is refused because he has no collateral and is therefore very disappointed.

Some magic stuff happens.

He meets a woman, but then forgets about her.

In the end, he is given a briefcase filled with collateral by pure chance and is therefore able to get his bank loan and open his bakery.

The end.
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Catwoman (2004)
1/10
Film Abortion Makes Prison Rape a Viable Alternative
13 December 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Watching Halle Berry in this film makes me want to purposely commit a horrific crime and be thrown into prison to be repeatedly raped. The fact that she managed to extend her academy award acceptance speech into a 104 minute film performance is a feat in itself. Sharon Stone's presence alone should be enough of a reason to not watch this movie (or any film with her for that matter), so that "bonus" just makes me wish for a multiple-life sentence.

PS Some exceptions to the Sharon Stone rule: Casino. Only because I think she didn't "act" in that film, I think she was just being herself. Total Recall, again, for pretty much the same reasons I just mentioned. We all know what happened to her in all three of these flicks...coincidence?
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7/10
Very good film that swings from the dramatic to the ridiculous
13 September 2007
If you've seen "High Plains Drifter", "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" any other Leone films or "spaghetti westerns" you will appreciate this film. (I guess this is an "udon western"? Sorry, I had to throw that in there.) For those who have not, you may not understand why the film goes to such extremes throughout the scene sequences. Everything from the bumbling sheriff to the mindless and spineless random gang characters as well as the leader of the 'reds', offer comedic escapades that are quite hysterical. Then we swing to the very dramatic and tragic scenes of loss, murder, pillaging and revenge. Japanese themes and references are inherent because the director is well...Japanese! The dialogue is all English and purposely so. I'm not sure if this was for comedic reasons or to reach out to a larger audience, but it is effective and an interesting choice on Miike's part. It is subtitled which, depending on how you view it, either detracts or adds to the film. It does help in some cases, but in my opinion, I think it would have been better to leave it out altogether. Overall, its a very fun film but expect to be taken up and down emotionally. Production, cinematography, scenery, costumes, art direction and sound design aren't even worth mentioning because they're all done so well, you don't notice them. Its about as close as you can get to a Western-Samurai Japanese-Western!
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