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scadjen
Reviews
Avouterie (2015)
Stop it with the AWFUL Louisiana "accents" Hollywood!
It was a decent premise and could have made a good film but from the opening credits, the guy sounded like he belonged in Steel Magnolias as opposed to being in New Orleans. It's 2016! Everyone has heard New Orleans accents by now and they should know they aren't dripping in sweet tea & magnolias. Get it right and maybe, MAYBE I could watch the film again. Not only was it a terribly fake accent from all who attempted it, it was SO FORCED -- sometimes there, sometimes not.
Other people might like it better than I did if they can ignore the accents or don't care that they're fake. I've seen worse acting at a local high school, and the plot was plausible and interesting.
Jeruzalem (2015)
TOTAL waste of time... Wish I'd turned it off 5 mins in...
0/10 SPOILER ALERT -- DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME! Firstly, these two young, "party-girls" choose -- of all places in the WORLD to go to PARTY and have a good time, to Tel Aviv? No offense to anyone that's from there, but you have to admit if you're going spend the money and time on a plane, there are some much more awesome places to go to party. I should've known this was going to suck when she put on the Google Glasses and I realized the whole movie was going to be POV, found-footage styled. Annoying and nauseating. Not to mention she looks down too much and you have no periphery. And you're just staring at the screen like, LOOK UP DAMMIT I CAN'T SEE WHAT STUPID SH*T IS GOING ON. As for meeting "Indiana" on the plane & changing their plans to "party" in Jerusalem first, I guess if they're staying in hostels it's plausible, but the "actor" who plays Kevin is painfully awful. I haven't looked at his IMDb credits yet, but I'm sure his last few roles were, "doorknob in school play," "shrubbery in school play," and "lamp post" as a street performer. It's like he was reading lines hanging off of the camera. if you care, she has sex with Kevin(probably to get him to STFU)and you see her naked thru the Google Glasses while her Dad messages her; you read him saying he loves her, what a "good girl" she is and he knows he can trust her -- *gag* -- somebody pass me a beer because i just got stuffed with cheeseballs and i'm choking. Nothing happens for the first 45 minutes, and you're SOOOO hoping at some point the effing glasses get smashed or whiny, stupid, SLOW-assed Sarah gets killed so you can actually watch a movie. Then dead weight Kevin starts to get a "bad feeling" and they lock him up in an insane asylum?? WTF? As for her going into the asylum to get him, i -- i simply have no words. she finds a suit of armor and takes the sword, oh yeah, SHE CARRIES A SWORD, then they wade thru water -- i felt like i was playing Tomb Raider or something. and oh lawd habbmursy, when she turns into the demon and flies away from Kevin STILL WEARING THE GOOGLE GLASSES: NO. Save your time unless you're high and want a good laugh along with a little bit of vertigo.