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nightbreed303
Reviews
The Walking Dead: Better Angels (2012)
Lori is a liabillity
Why don't the writers do us all a favour and kill off Lori? As broken as Shane was, he never got a chance to work out his demons with the wifey- from-hell constantly messing with his head. One wonders how many more characters will die as an indirect result of her stupidity. Gotta feel for Rick, he's had to do in his friend and now looks forward to baby that might not be his being born into a zombie- infested world. At least now that Shane is gone, Rick can spend some quality time with his family... or not, since there's definitely more trouble ahead. Anyway, poor Randall, he wasn't around long and didn't have much fun at all at the funny farm. Let's hope he has a twin brother who comes looking for him...
Star Trek (2009)
Awful script, nice visuals.
Yes so some crazed Romulan who doesn't actually look like a Romulan gets thrown back in time and causes James T. Kirk's father to die prematurely, thus altering the course of history. The reason this happens, is that Spock was too late to stop a star from going supernova. Quite why he was late is not explained, probably because the writer had no clue why a Vulcan would be late for a major event like a supernova... Well Spock has this 'red matter' which can cause a black hole which eats a supernova for breakfast. Presumably the writer knows nothing about astrophysics since his black hole can eat a star yet would not pull the orbiting planet out of the Goldilocks zone... not that there would be a Goldilocks zone since there's no star to support life any longer... It is this 'black hole' through which older Spock travels back in time... however, the supernova which was swallowed some moments before did not travel back in time to the same location, yet the now deranged Romulan is transported to the same spot some moments before Spock.... amazing how a whole cataclysmic stellar event just disappears down the plot-hole, i mean black hole... So Nero the crazy Romulan hangs about for a couple of decades for Spock to pop out of the black hole... then captures Spock and takes the red matter. Instead of going to save his own planet, fruit-loop Romulan decides to destroy Vulcan with the red matter... It's a pity the talents of the cast were wasted on such an awful script...
The Lake House (2006)
Fine, except the ending kills the movie.
I suspect that some test audience didn't like an ending where Alex (Reeves) dies... well, for the plot to have made any sense he should be dead, not saved by some wretched scripting. Ironically, in keeping him alive the script finally self-destructs. Also that tree grew pretty fast in the space of two years - Reeve's character plants a sapling in O4 and in 06 it's fully grown. Perhaps the tree had a time machine too. Yes, the book too... the thing was large and how would it fit in the mailbox? Thing is the movie was quite engaging for 98% of it, but the 2% of ludicrous ending could leave you feeling short-changed. A disservice to anyone who gave up their willing suspension of disbelief and ignored the inconsistencies and incongruities. Luckily I didn't, since I figured there's no way Hollywood would pick a realistic ending over a happy ever after.
K-PAX (2001)
A message from K-Pax
Well, he's not an alien, his math is all wrong. Travelling six times the speed of light would not allow you to travel a thousand light years distance in seven years of time... more like about 160 years. Also, assuming superluminal travel possible, the relativistic effects of such high speed travel would mean that time on the planet earth would appear to speed up (from the travellers point of view). Therefore Prot would either arrive on Earth long after Porter had experienced a traumatic event, unless Prot possesses a prescience of what's to happen in Porter's life. Despite his seemingly superhuman capabilities... Also, how Porter messages Prot about his anguish is problematic... sms? e-mail? After all, Porter is the mere human.
Are We Done Yet? (2007)
Good for chilling out for an hour or so...
There are 3 lead characters in this film, contrary to other reviewer's erroneous statements that there are 2. Ice Cube's exasperated father-to be, John C. McGinley's multi-tasking entrepreneur and the actual house itself. There is an underlying theme here; the love-hate triangle which develops between the home-owner, the contractor and the house. The home-owner begins to despise his property, while the contractor has a vision of what the property can mean to a family. As the film moves on the house changes from an ugly duckling into a beautiful home, paralleling the transformation of the home-owner's relationship with his family and would-be friends. I know people dislike this film, but I happened to enjoy it. It's a rare occasion of a sequel being better than the original. The first film was awful.
How to Make a Monster (2001)
So bad it's good.
If you're a geek, you'll be laughing your batman socks off watching this. It's great to watch for the old skool gear (green screen palm pilot anyone?)and horror genre references (thumbs up for the 'tales from the crypt' pinball machine).
Much of the dialog involves faux techie jargon - guaranteed hilarity for the most part. For instance;the intern character trying to impress her boss by asking how she can compress 9 gig of video data. I can only guess that she had a bootleg copy of LoTR she wanted to upload.
The plot premise is a delightful hotch-potch of elements from 'Tron', 'Weird Science', 'Hardware', 'Lawnmower Man' and references various other sci-fi films such as 'Wargames' ('It's learning all my moves').
Probably one of the worst films ever made, but that's if you expect a serious sci-fi film. If you're bored of on-line hack 'n' slash for the night and want a film that's unintentionally hilarious to wind down with, this is one.