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Reviews
Beneath Us All (2023)
This is not a 10/10 movie at all
I have read ratings some other place, they scored it at 8.1, some other people, and I mean several other people have scored this 10/10. So I confidently watched this... the result? Go watch Sharknado or something similar, it is more consistent and funny than this. I am reviewing this so you don't fall in the scam
Do you want to know why? Spolers ahead:
This guy, the "moster" is a viking vampire that can hunt his pray in plain broad light. Ok, that is new. Why viking? It doesn't offer anything interesting at the end or innovative. The vampire might as well would have been Italian, Spaniard, Guatemalan or even Chinese and it wouldn't even matter at the end. His Viking origin contributed nothing at all in the end.
Where did Julie our protagonist got the medallion before she found Frey? It suddlenly appears in one scene, where did it came from?
The music is generally weird, it doesn't goes accordingly to the scenes.
The voices and the sound seems almost like monoaural. This is what really tells you that this is an bad or cheap movie.
When we meet the policeman he has a huge police sign in his chest instead of a badge so we all can agree that "guy is a policeman for sure".
Where did Frey learn to speak English so fast? He gets out of his coffin and the next days he speaks perfect english... did vikings spoke english?
Frey's makeup when you can see him in his first scenes after he is out of the coffin is not good. You can see his gray face and the rest of his body in a regular skin tone. However, his vampire make-up had a good appearance it was a shame his face was fully shown, it was a waste. Although you can say that is a latex mask.
Frey's first meal are potato chips? Really? Isn't he a vampire or something? He was offered two bags of potato chips. Perhaps they were blood flavored...
Without any motivation Julie sucks Fray's blood from his arm, why? She is not really showing that great of attachment to him so she might be wanting to suck his blood. Why? Was she lusting for him? No! When???
Rebecca is been told a couple of times to stop working to avoid burn out, but she keeps working. Why? Her boss is insistent, but it doesn't really matter.
The gangster allowing Todd Gibbs (Julie's foster parent) to play cards to collect his debt is a stereotype of a bad guy with his beard and eye patch. Look st him, his is a bad person, right?
Sound effects are not good, really. Really, really bad.
It's been said that Julie is seeing some man in the woods, but this man (Frey) has been in the barn all the time, he hasn't been in the woods unless it's the time he was in the coffin.
When Julie starts her transformation it's funny, but not scary at all. She just seems to need a teeth cleansing and an orthodontist.
There is a stereotypical choral music for the vampire scenes. A very bad choice that don't go with the modern times of the play. What is this? Bram Stoker's dracula?
The fog is clearly so artificial, sometimes it covers the back if the stage but not the actors in the front. Sometimes it covers the left part of the scenary but not the right, how come?
At some point there are lightning in the sky but no sign of rain anywhere. Just one lightning and that's it, no wind, no rain. Kind a like a Frankenstein effect. Bad, so bad.
Frey the vampire's death was bad, no emotions at all. No agony. The remainings are a couple of bones and a skull covered in strawberry jam or something.
The policeman death was simple, no emotions at all either. I really didn't care for his death, only I felt shame for the 2 little girls' death, but their corpses were found just laying on the ground, face down.
The black kid is not really afraid at his inminent death, you don't look scary eyes or see him screaming, bad acting. His character wears a stereotypical hair style that I don't think his foster parents would allow it, it doesn't seem consistent.
If you read this, and like bad movies, then this is your stuff. You have been warned.
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)
What did I just see?
I saw the first one. It was great! With that expectations I decided to watch this sequel.
What did I just saw??? Several types of animation, some good, some excelent, but the mixture of them was really really bad. A couple of times I couldn't really appreciate what was happening! Some scenes happened so fast that I couldn't really appreciate what was going on, who was in that scene or even realize what happened! Eventually there is really a universe of spidermen to see, so many spidermen that at the beginning you try to identify or spot which spiderman is who, but there are so many that at the end you really don't care at all who is who, you see one after another, that finally you care less. What happened to the characters we met in last movie? They appear at the last minute for a couple of moments and they don't really give anything important to the story. Jake Johnson's spiderman is the one with the most time, but he is taking care of a baby spidergirl or something, so that part is surprising.
There are too many tecnicisms trying to explain what is going on but perhaps too complex to understand the situation right away. I am really not convinced that I liked this or not, so I will try to watch it again and see if I catch the rithm this time. Some things happen so fast that the quality of the drawing is not that really appreciated, I would have liked to see less spidermen but the ones that appear would be given more time to recognize them and enjoy his participation and inputs to the plot, but no. It didn't happen.
Skull Island (2023)
Nice approach!
I saw it hoping it wasn't like Godzilla and godzuki from the 80s. It is a very interesting approach. Animation seems like one of the Batman series or something like that. Colors are appropriate and somehow natural. Animals/monsters and peoples shapes look normal, not cartoonish. Sound effects are not great and Kong's walking sounds like a big drum at each step. Shadows when characters walk in the jungle might seem a little annoying. The series try to make an approach on each of the characters for the first half of the episodes and show Kong on the last half. There are funny one-liners along the series. The story seems to be around some feral girl rescued on a ship traveling to skull island, the survival of the characters in a place full of monsters and finally Kong's story that develops in the last episodes. Beware your children, the animation might seem a little violent and bloody, not suitable for small children.
I enjoyed the series, I would have liked a couple more chapters, but it was fine. The last two are the jewels of the crown.
Ladyhawke (1985)
In the line of "The princess bride"
A nice story, with interesting characters is this1985 movie. 3 main actors all good. I liked the story then, when I saw it, it was a little awkward now. Music was in charge of the alan parson's project and the first half of the movie the music tends to sound a little bit like tv programs like Magnum or the A-team. Besides that it is a nice romantic story (with a little flaw or two). Broderick is a little like his "Ferris Beuller day off", Hauer is great, look out for the trick with his knife, looks amazing, he is perhaps a little too old for the always beautiful Pfeiffer. But look at this movie, it's enjoyable!
La Brea (2021)
Good idea bad execution
The original idea:
A sinkhole swallows part of La Brea with some buildings, cars and many people, well, not that many. It appears that a portal sends this people and the other things to La Brea but 10,000 BC according to some junky guy specialized in the subject (?). So, it seems natural that the series would be about the survival of those people with what they have with them in this era and how are they going to get back to the present. But NOT....
When I saw the trailer I imagined "Survivor La Brea 10,000 BC", fighting the weather, flora and fauna of that age. What did we get? Fighting bad CGI, sometimes one animal of that era with weird behavior, not that natural. For instance, a wolf attacks the son of the protagonist by bitting his side, not the neck as you might expect. On season 2 an eagle or something like that captures a deer or something like that, takes it to his nest, suposedly to eat it, but no, it guards his territory like a guardian dog or something.
The actors might be right for the series, however the protagonist seems the third wheel in the relationship with his wife that has had a romance with his best friend. The actress protagonist is not believable, too stiff, never gets dirty nor disheveled.
They find "native americans", the female leader looks great, but she speaks a perfect english with no accent??? And the rest of her tribe are white???
Instead of the survivor themed series I was expecting suddenly it became some kind of fight with the native americans and later we are introduced to another "tribe" with looks more like Mad Max.... What happened here? Those new "natives" slave people to harves some mineral, we later find is uranium. What happened to the survivor themed series?
Many times this series is frustrating, some ilogical things happen and you just think "ok, I´ll go with that" but most of the times you don´t know what to do, laugh or get irritated.
The actress protagonist always wear a wool hide jacket that never gets dirty, the same for the rest of her friends, even though they might have been there for weeks, not trying to look like the real thing.
The weather might seem a little cold, hence the coats and they might prepare for severe cold weather eventually. It only lasts only one episode and then the weather keeps on mild.
Hoping to see more native fauna I saw until S2E6. But that is as long as I might get, now it is a time travel series and the animals were a worm and an eagle... yes, a worm....
it is a shame, a good idea with bad script, bad CGI, loose narrative, bland characters. That isn´t make belive, fantasy or science fictionTV.
Captain Nova (2021)
It could have been better
This wanted to be a kids movie but wasn't, it might have been a nice adult story though, but couldn't. Effects are nice but not good, environment tried to be motivated but didn't. What was the purpose of the ADD? The comic relief wasn't really funny. Nova
the protagonist as a girl was stiff, insipid, you don't believe she's an adult in a young body. Fabrics in the future shrink and enlarge accordingly if your body grows or shrink suddenly. The handgun is an interesting piece but was used too predictably. In the end you can only assume that the energy consortium draw back their intentions of drilling in the North Pole.
It not a bad movie, but it isn't good either.
Apex (2021)
Bad, muy mala
Acting? Bad
Music? Weird
Villians? Bad selection
Hero? No sense
Script? Weird. Van Dame was much better, yeck, the hunger games won.
Didn't like it at all.
Just One of the Guys (1985)
The 80s!
I was watching this movie in 2019 and it's incredible how Morena Baccarin looks like her!
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
How come????
IMDB has 7.2 rating on the movie, but most of the people's rates are I have seen are under 5???
The color palette is impresive but the narrative is confusing, the actors are not convincing and there are sooo many things that makes you think this is a cheap remake. Most Star Wars folklore is gone, Director/writer was not a real fan. They killed Han Solo and now Luke... Who is left?
I am not eager to see next movie with those directors